Ask Me Help Desk - How can you tell?

But why is he doing that then?

Why does he say that?

I am in a great relationship with I guy I really like! I go over to his house or to his soccer games about once every week. Sometimes when I am at his house we would be hanging out laying down on the floor or something. I would tell him how much I love him and how happy I am that I have him, But every time I do he say "Why? I am not good enough and you can find someone better then me." What does that mean? Why does he keep saying that?

Thanks for anyone who answers.

What is the key?

I have been wondering a lot about this lately. What is the key for a long, wonderful relationship? How do you stay with the one you want?

Thanks to anyone who answers!

He might just be insecure

OR

He wants his ego boosted by you giving him some good reasons. Some guys like there ego boosted by compliments and reasons. I'm one of them, but I don't ask questions like that, but some guys probably do.

My girlfriend once said I'm to good for her, she was just insecure about losing me. That never happened though and she finally got over that. So in this case that might be the problem too.

Or maybe he doesn't want you to get too attached? Is it too much too soon? How long have you been together?

Well we have been going out for maybe about 9 months with just a few break ups but I keep telling him that he is one who is good enough for me even though he thinks that he is not good enough.

What are the causes of these break ups? Did you work things out?

I just read another thread and I sense that you're having doubts. Could you give us a little background so we can help you out?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ay-386693.html

Well first it was about him not feeling right about us dating and then it ended up being that he thought that I was going to get upset that he won't spend time with me.

It sounds like you two need to have a talk about what you want out of the relationship. Sounds like maybe you're expecting more from him than maybe he's willing to give? I can't say for sure but that's the feeling I get.

Well we both know what we want but the weird thing is now that I would go and see him at lunch and now he is telling me that I don't have to see him everyday at lunch. Does that mean he is starting to get over me or does it mean he wants to spend more time with his friends?

It takes more than love.Love comes naturally and that is the easy part.

Communication is key,you must be able to discuss the many problems that relationships face over the years by working them out through open honest communication.

Knowing how to compromise and discuss issues is key.Working together through issues creates a bond that is very important.

Having a realistic expectation about the changes your relationship will take is vitally important as well.

The hearts and flowers don't last forever and the passion of the early days (while still there on occasion) is replaced by a deeper and more meaningful love.

You must trust and respect your partner.

Often when we become so familiar with someone we feel O.K. with expressing anything we feel and fail to show respect.

We need to remember that just because we are familiar with someone that does not entitle us to be less than honorable to that person.

You must never take your partner for granted and you should show them your love and appreciation every day!

It takes work and determination and a willingness to be selfless.

Could be either. You should ask him. Communication is very important in a relationship. The best advice I can give you is to ask him the questions you're asking us. It could be that you're making a big deal of nothing, or it could be that you guys aren't feeling the same about the relationship.

Ok cause I try to see him at lunch every day and I try calling him up about 1 or 2 time a week, but the last time I saw him he was actually kissing me

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordan Christin

But why is he doing that then?

Everyone on this forum can come up with all these reasons/behaviourial shortcomings/psychological analysis about trying to figure out why he's playing with you Christin(some of the people out here are real nice people who care enough to pause and analyse,look for reasons, having gone through such painful incidents in their own lives)but the fact still remains that honestly sweetie,we don't know for sure.

Why someone behaves the way they are is entirely up to them.We can only guess.But do you want to keep guessing and finding excuses and standing up for him?Ask yourself this,Do you want to put up with bad behaviour that you know keeps hurting you?How about the number of times he lets you down and hurts you?Does he try to find out how you are coping and what you are going through?

Stop analysing so much.By doing that,you have stopped living like a normal,healthy,fun-loving young person and are constantly depending upon him to make something out of your life.If you have a relationship that leads you through the dark alleys of questioning,finding reasons and excuses and feeling heart-broken all the time,is the relationship worth the salt?Would you have put up with any friend who was rude to you or hurt you,then why him?

Once you let go a relationship that stifles you,you'll become freer to find a relationship that gives you your due and brings out the best in you.Trust us on this.We know as we have been there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordan Christin https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_i...s/viewpost.gif
But why is he doing that then?

That's how manipulator get their way, and that's what he wants, you giving him what he wants.

How can you tell?

I have always wanted to know something. When you are dating someone, how can you tell if they are starting not to like you anymore?

Thanks for everyone who answers!

It can range from something subtle like they take longer to return your calls or reduce the time they spend with you to something more overt such as fleeing when they see you coming. Tip: change of phone number, a restraining order against you, or them dating someone other than you are also bad signs.

Jordan hi are you asking about the same boyfriend? Or is it a general question?

Just a general question