Sometimes people have to learn things for themselves. It's just like when you tell a child not to touch the fire because you'll get burn. You can tell them that over and over but eventually they touch it anyway and then they see what you mean and won't touch it again because they remember what it felt like when they touched it.

I know at 14 and throughout my teenage years I thought knew what love was, regardless of what the older crowd told me, until I grew up and smelled the coffee.

I can't believe kids these days wanting to have kids! I'm still a teen (19) and have a five month old baby... I have been with my fiancé since freshman year (15) I do still love him and the whole time we were together not the first argument did we ever have but once a baby came into our lives along with financial problems... we had our share of arguments and still sometimes do.
What I'm trying to say is that you feel like you are in love with this person why not wait for sex. If you truly love someone why do you have to have sex to show them that? Love is a part of sex but its not everything, as a teen mom I know how it feels to stay at home and take care of the baby while he works when I could be out with friends or just be out having a good time. And another thing, all those friends you have, see how many stay around when you have a kid and they still want to go out and have fun.
Kids are the greatest gift in the world but kids shouldn't be having kids. Have fun, live life, and if you do decide to have sex after reading all of these posts, then that's you... good luck

I agree that ur exprience sucked and i feel bad for you no one should of had to go through that
I'm 16 aswell and i have never had sex becoz i know i'm not ready but i dont agree with people living in fear of sex yes their is a bad side to it you can get sexually trnsmitted dieases and you can get pregnant
but if you use protection and have a knowledge of what your doing then it can be the most natural thing in the world
BUT you would only do it when your ready not when your married becoz come on thats not realistic not when you feel like you will be a good parent or when your parents wont kill you for it
just do it when YOUR ready dont listen to what other people say to ya xx:o

Diehardrocks92, please don't post in purple, although it's a really pretty color, it makes your post really hard to read.

Thank you.

Great topic!
I myself will wait until I am married. (or at least try) I also know it is unrealistic to expect the same out of everyone, so I have no problem with others who do engage in sexual activity, though I do tell them my opinion on the matter.
I have seen this Same thing happen to my older brother, so I know it can happen.
The simple fact is: No one is as "mature enough" as they think the first time they do anything, they are inexperienced, and therefore tend to make mistakes.
I am truly sorry for your personal problems, and applaud you for trying to help others.

When I lost my virginity I thought it was awesome at the time than a week later I started wishing I hadn't she didn't have any stds or anything she wasn't pregnant I just wish I waited for someone that really kent something to me when I was older so if your a teen like me and you are thinking about it don't you will regret it!

U Poor Soul... :(

Using Protection still got in trouble...

But here is a thought... Were you taking the pills..? I guess not.. She was...
Were you using the Condom... I guess you were... and then did not see it break...

So what do you get from this..?
This is what I see...

She is a Liar... she never took the pills... because she probably knew that there are side effects...
And your condom did not break... otherwise you would have known it...

She screwed someone else... without your knowing it... and this could have been intentional or forced... but it was most probably NOT you who knocked her up...

So stop torturing yourself... you are right in thinking on the NO SEX deal... it is special... and should be done at the right time... but kiddo... you were not responsible...

People lie... that's life...

919263

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 919263

U Poor Soul...:(

Using Protection still got in trouble....

But here is a thought... Were you taking the pills...??? I guess not.. She was...
Were you using the Condom.... I guess you were ... and then did not see it break....

So what do you get from this....???
This is what I see....

She is a Liar... she never took the pills... coz she probably knew that there are side effects....
And your condom did not break.... otherwise you would have known it...

She screwed someone else... without your knowing it... and this could have been intentional or forced... but it was most probably NOT you who knocked her up....

So stop torturing yourself...you are right in thinking on the NO SEX deal... it is special... and should be done at the right time... but kiddo... you were not responsible...

People lie...that's life...

919263

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Ah, another person that doesn't know that you can still get pregnant even if using every form of birth control on the market.

You do know that no form of birth control is 100% effective, right? If not, well, now you do.

In other words, if you have sex there's a possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. If you don't want a baby, don't have sex.

So you, he probably was the father.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Ah, another person that doesn't know that you can still get pregnant even if using every form of birth control on the market.

You do know that no form of birth control is 100% effective, right? If not, well, now you do.

In other words, if you have sex there's a possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. If you don't want a baby, don't have sex.

So ya, he probably was the father.

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OK, I do not know how old you are, but I am 40 yrs old, and believe me, contraception works. DO not keep saying that it does not work... :mad:

Condoms are saving millions from AIDS... so DO NOT keep saying it does not work... :mad:
YES your advice is right about the sex thingy... but do not create a monster here... sex is a very beautiful thing, it makes 2 people cross the physical boundaries and merge...

Kiddos... Listen to everyone here... remember... everything you do has consequences. AND so does having sex... but if you really have to do it or think that it is the time for you... wait 1 week from the day you think you should have it... and if you still feel the same way... use protection... Condoms are the best... and contrary to what is being said here, just be careful...

919263

I'm 38.

I never once said that contraception shouldn't be used, yes, it should, it does lower the risks of pregnancy and STD's remarkably, but is it fool proof? No!

By telling kids that using protection guarantees no pregnancy, you are setting up false hope. The fact is, contraception isn't 100% effective. So, you are practicing safer sex, but not safe sex, there is not such thing.

Yes, sex is a wonderful thing, a way to bring two people closer together, and when you are old enough, financially secure enough, emotionally stable enough to have a child, then have sex. Until then, sex=babies, and even with protection it can still happen.

So, what are you going to say when someone comes back on here, says "919263, I used a condom and I got pregnant, you said it couldn't happen, what now?" then what will you advise?

There are member on this site that have gotten pregnant using 3 different forms of birth control. A friend of mine got pregnant while on the pill, using a condom and she only has one ovary. Explain that!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by secret_123

i am not a kid, i know very well the sense of reality.for example i had y best freind fall pregant and get an abortion, and now im there with there helping her get through it. how much more real can u get? but im not going to preach about how i think nooone should ever have sex because something bad might happen. if ur going to live ue life not doing anything in case something bad happens, then i feel sorry for you

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She "fell" pregnant?

Wow u brought tears to my eyes just reading that thanks 4 sharing your story I think u touch allot of young teens harts

Bravo, bravo, I feel for you brother. God will bring you through

WOW, what insight you have for a guy your age. Makes me have hope. I'm sorry you (and she) went through this pain. You are a smart guy that learns from mistakes and I see a bright future for you. When the time is right, some girl will be very lucky to get you. I bet your parents are proud of you too. In the long run, you learned a huge lesson and that self reflection doesn't happen for everybody. I wish you the best in your future.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by aspireE

I do not believe that to be true. sex is a way of expressing how much you care or love somebody. if you think the only outcome of sex is getting pregnant, you're wrong. sure sometime protection does not work, but most of the time it does. I respect that it is not for everybody, but for those who it is, leave them be, its not going to kill you, its good, enjoy it.

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I don't think you were paying attention to the op. Getting pregnant was not the ONLY outcome. The emotional side of getting in over your head before you are ready can be painful. They lost the ability to just have fun with each other doing other things because the sex became an overwhelming obsession. They were not at a place in their lives or maturity where they could maintain a healthy balance. For the op to realize this speaks volumes for his character I believe. He isn't just "playing around" with some girl's affections.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 919263

U Poor Soul...:(

Using Protection still got in trouble....

But here is a thought... Were you taking the pills...??? I guess not.. She was...
Were you using the Condom.... I guess you were ... and then did not see it break....

So what do you get from this....???
This is what I see....

She is a Liar... she never took the pills... coz she probably knew that there are side effects....
And your condom did not break.... otherwise you would have known it...

She screwed someone else... without your knowing it... and this could have been intentional or forced... but it was most probably NOT you who knocked her up....

So stop torturing yourself...you are right in thinking on the NO SEX deal... it is special... and should be done at the right time... but kiddo... you were not responsible...

People lie...that's life...

919263

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Darn it, I meant to hit DISAGREE. Some one balance that for me if you feel the same way.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cozyk

Darn it, I meant to hit DISAGREE. Some one balance that for me if you feel the same way.

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Would love to - but I responded with a disagree on the same post.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cozyk

Darn it, I meant to hit DISAGREE. Some one balance that for me if you feel the same way.

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Done. :)

BC must be taken every day at the same time to most effective and Condoms when used properly are 99% effective. It is very highly unlikely although not impossible to get pregnant while using both of these in combo. I would definitely get a paternity test because not everyone lies but not everyone tells the truth either! It would just be smart and practical.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by glasscastle

BC must be taken every day at the same time to most effective and Condoms when used properly are 99% effective. It is very highly unlikely although not impossible to get pregnant while using both of these in combo. I would definately get a paternity test because not everyone lies but not everyone tells the truth either! It would just be smart and practical.

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OP said girlfriend had an abortion, did not deliver the child.

And, yes, legally - DNA answers the questions pretty much before they are asked.