No matter what his parents feel about him, if he has committed suicide, he would be committed into a hospital. That's the way it works.
This boy is manipulating you. This is how he keeps you, controls you. This is not a healthy relationship to be in.
If you don't listen to anything, listen to this; Leave this boy alone. He is bad news. You have a lot going for you, don't throw it away on this boy. He needs treatment and he cannot get it from you.

I haven't talked to him since we broke up.

I know it will be hard, but leave it that way.
No contact. When you need to talk and vent, come here.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nKitkat22 disagrees : you are telling her to put herself in danger and go against her parents. Not good advice
Homegirl 50 disagrees : You should not be telling a 15 year old to go against her fathers rules and find ways to date and have sex with her 17 year old boy friend
Jake2008 disagrees : It is irrisponsible to suggest a 15 year old should persue a relationship, sexual in particular, behind her parents back.atty_jokes;2482031

All I have to say is. That alot of these answers are just not right, like the poor girl says she's in love! Dose no one get that, I say that if you guys really do love eachother, then you guys can find a way to make it work. Have you ever tryed to go to a friends house, and use their phones. And what about a cell-phone. I think that if you guys really do like eachother,then myspace really will have to be good enough. :) :o

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It would appear you three jumped from the age of three to adults...
None of you remember what it as like to be 15??
She is turning 16 soon, age of concent in most places around the world
And in most states is 16 years of age...
And with the boyfriend only being a year or so older
I don't see any judge prosecuting the boyfriend.

You all are only looking at a number
Your not looking at the fact they are in love
Your not considering that maybe this coulpe
Are more mature than your average 16 year old
And ignoring the fact they are being responsible
And using protection...
The chances of her getting pregnant while uing a
Condom properly is less than you being in a car crash
Do you walk everywhere just to be more responsible?
I don't think so...

God look don't get me wwrong your dad knows best he may have been like this boy and did what his doing he is probably lying to you saying you're the one when he could be spreading other girls legs like tom **** and harry this is one of many loves you will be in you have a long life ahead of you there is many many more heart break to ewpirience

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AceHighDan

your not considering that maybe this coulpe
are more mature than your average 16 year old
and ignoring the fact they are being responsible
and using protection

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If you read the entire thread, maturity is NOT one of their strong points. Nothing has been said about condoms or having responsible sex. The very fact that she's underage and they had sex screams immaturity!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AceHighDan

it would appear you three jumped from the age of three to adults....
none of you remember what it as like to be 15????
she is turning 16 soon, age of concent in most places around the world
and in most states is 16 years of age...
and with the bf only being a year or so older
i dont see any judge prosecuting the bf.

you all are only looking at a number
your not looking at the fact they are inlove
your not considering that maybe this coulpe
are more mature than your average 16 year old
and ignoring the fact they are being responsible
and using protection...
the chances of her getting pregnant while uing a
condom properly is less than you being in a car crash
do you walk everywhere just to be more responsible?
i dont think so....

---

Omqq ThankkYou! That's Kind of Why I Didn't want to break up with him, we Know that even if we use protection I can still get pregnant & Or Catch a disease IF HE HAD ONE. & Seriously Some of you are making him seem like a perv, okay I know in the post where I thoguth he wasn't enough for me he SOUNDED like one but he's really not remember I WANTED SEX MORE THAN HE DID. Like Nympho Status or something.

Quote:

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none of you remember what it as like to be 15??

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I remember it all too clearly. I thought I was in love too, in fact I swore I was. Turns out that everyone over the age of 30 that told me I wasn't, they were right. Too bad I didn't learn that before I jumped into bed with him. Would have been nice if I was mature enough to listen to people smarter than me.

Quote:

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she is turning 16 soon, age of concent in most places around the world
And in most states is 16 years of age...
And with the boyfriend only being a year or so older
I don't see any judge prosecuting the boyfriend.

---

Oh, well, if consent is all we're worrying about than sure, go for it. You see I was worried about pregnancy, disease, a 16 year old on welfare raising a child by herself, because statistically, if she gets knocked up, he's not going to be hanging around. He'll do the "mature" thing and save his own a$$.

Quote:

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you all are only looking at a number
Your not looking at the fact they are in love

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They don't know what being in love means. They're in lust. That's what happens at 15. Let me guess, you're 15 too, aren't you?

Quote:

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your not considering that maybe this coulpe
Are more mature than your average 16 year old

---

How can we consider that when every single one of her posts shows how immature she is?

Quote:

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and ignoring the fact they are being responsible
And using protection...
The chances of her getting pregnant while uing a
Condom properly is less than you being in a car crash

---

In my life I've been in 3 car crashes. No form of birth control is 100% effective. There are people on this site that used 3 forms of birth control at the same time and still became pregnant. At least with cars you have insurance, with sex, you don't.

Quote:

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do you walk everywhere just to be more responsible?
I don't think so...

---

Of course not, but I'd never let my kids drive until they're old enough and can afford to pay for their own car, gas, and insurance. So if she can't afford a child, she shouldn't have sex.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

I remember it all too clearly. I thought I was in love too, in fact I swore I was. Turns out that everyone over the age of 30 that told me I wasn't, they were right. Too bad I didn't learn that before I jumped into bed with him. Woulda been nice if I was mature enough to listen to people smarter than me.



Oh, well, if consent is all we're worrying about than sure, go for it. You see I was worried about pregnancy, disease, a 16 year old on welfare raising a child by herself, because statistically, if she gets knocked up, he's not going to be hanging around. He'll do the "mature" thing and save his own a$$.



They don't know what being in love means. They're in lust. That's what happens at 15. Let me guess, you're 15 too, aren't you?



How can we consider that when every single one of her posts shows how immature she is?



In my life I've been in 3 car crashes. No form of birth control is 100% effective. There are people on this site that used 3 forms of birth control at the same time and still became pregnant. At least with cars you have insurance, with sex, you don't.



Of course not, but I'd never let my kids drive until they're old enough and can afford to pay for their own car, gas, and insurance. So if she can't afford a child, she shouldn't have sex.

---

I have to say you do brig up some good points such as him just taking off..
As for me being 15, no... I'm older
Just shortly after turning 16 I actually WAS in love believe it or not
And I was with her for 6 years...
And if you knew the hell she put me through
I'm sure you would agree that either one...
I'm just completely stupid lol, or I was in love
Or perhaps both :p
But point is I KNOW I feel in love at that age
And if I can, I'm sure others can as well...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AceHighDan

i have to say you do brig up some good points such as him just taking off..
as for me being 15, no... im older
just shortly after turning 16 i actually WAS inlove believe it or not
and i was with her for 6 years...
and if you knew the hell she put me through
im sure you would agree that either one...
im just completely stupid lol, or i was inlove
or perhaps both :p
but point is i KNOW i feel inlove at that age
and if i can, im sure others can aswell....

---

But love doesn't have to include sex, and I'm sure you can agree that at 15, sex is a bad idea.

If they're in love than sex can wait, until they're old enough and responsible enough to take care of a child. Sex is a huge responsibility and at 15, you're just not ready for it, no matter how mature you think you are.

Bijiou... I apologize for my wondering whether you actually broke up, but the advice remains the same regardless. You are not responsible for him or for what he does. He makes his own choices, as you have seen with his watching porn knowing how you feel about it.
If he truly did try to kill himself, he would be in hospital right now.

I know you feel you are in love, and you very well may be, but he isn't. True love does not manipulate, it does not need to go to extremes to hold onto someone, it does not try to make someone feel badly or guilty.

Look at it this way, if you stayed with him what would change? Is he going to stop looking at the porn? Would you magically stop feeling compared to it or not enough for him? Would he not threaten to harm himself if you wanted to break it off again?

Never, ever go into, or stay in, a relationship and think you are going to change someone. Almost always, you will be very much disappointed, frustrated, and hurt. He would only change if he wanted to.

There are so many guys out there who won't try to make you feel guilty so that you stay with them and who will treat you with respect and make you feel good about yourself.

As others have said, if we didn't care, we wouldn't be saying anything.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AceHighDan

it would appear you three jumped from the age of three to adults....
none of you remember what it as like to be 15????
she is turning 16 soon, age of consent in most places around the world
and in most states is 16 years of age...
and with the bf only being a year or so older
i dont see any judge prosecuting the bf.

you all are only looking at a number
your not looking at the fact they are in love
your not considering that maybe this couple
are more mature than your average 16 year old
and ignoring the fact they are being responsible
and using protection...
the chances of her getting pregnant while using a
condom properly is less than you being in a car crash
do you walk everywhere just to be more responsible?
i dont think so....

---

It would appear that you are only looking at the "I'm 15 and in love" part of this.
Have you read her other threads? Have you read this one in it's entirety?

This is not just about love, but a young girl who is involved with a young man who is clearly not stable or good for her. Young girl who broke up with him once and he tried to kill himself. This a relationship that borders on obsession and operates by manipulation.

I remember what it's like to be 15 and because I do I can understand the feelings she has, but because I am older I also can see the relationship is dysfunctional at best.
Beside that, her father has forbidden this relationship and I am not about to tell her to go against the wishes if her father.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AceHighDan

it would appear you three jumped from the age of three to adults....
none of you remember what it as like to be 15????
she is turning 16 soon, age of concent in most places around the world
and in most states is 16 years of age...
and with the bf only being a year or so older
i dont see any judge prosecuting the bf.

you all are only looking at a number
your not looking at the fact they are inlove
your not considering that maybe this coulpe
are more mature than your average 16 year old
and ignoring the fact they are being responsible
and using protection...
the chances of her getting pregnant while uing a
condom properly is less than you being in a car crash
do you walk everywhere just to be more responsible?
i dont think so....

---

I'm also going to comment here. You have obviously not looked at the whole thread if you think we are only looking at a number. As noted, there are a number of factors involved here. As to the maturity level there are several clues showing their maturity level is not high. You are also assuming it's a "fact" that they are in love. At 15 one really can't make that assumption.

Finally, yes some forms of protection are very reliable, but none are 100%. And it only takes that small percentage to ruin several lives.

But we only had sex 3 times, & I didn't get pregnant and before I broke up with him we already said we wouldn't until later, So noo we weren't "In Lust" if we were we would have broken up A LONG time ago & You Make it seem like No guy at the age of 16 can be in love and their just going to have sex with the girl then if she gets pregnant leave her, not every 16 year old guy in the world is like that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bijiou36

if she gets pregnant leave her, not every 16 year old guy in the world is like that.

---

You said he tried three times to "leave" this world which includes you. That's a cowardly act. If he loved you, he'd stick around and wait it out or fight for the right to see you by improving himself and his prospects. That would be a sign of maturity.

Yea but not break up with me he wouldn't really take enough pills to do it anyway I already know he wouldn't. I "tested" him before to see if he would really do it but he's scared to go to hell if he kills himself. Which I hate when he talks about that stuff

Something else to point... if you want me to add some math in this, there is a section of math called probability in statistics.

Let me explain. Let's say, the probability of getting pregnant using condoms is very small... like 0.01. There is something called binomial distribution which deals with such probabilities.

I will spare you the math, but you will see that with a constant small probability (ie 0.01), the probability that the event occurs (ie you get pregnant) increases each time you make the event occur. You were lucky on the first three times... but the more you try, the more you are prone to become pregnant, and that, I'm sure your dad would not want you to be. Is your boyfriend ready to rear a child and supply the financial support?

He himself is in a bad condition. He's unstable. How would he get a proper job? Are you ready to become a mother? Math is a must in most of the jobs that exist. If you do poorly in math, it should be your priority. What are the other subjects you study? If you're doing the sciences, you'll see that without math, you won't be able to score properly in those subjects. In design, the technical side, you need some strong basics in math. What will happen if you become an architect, and the house or building that you make had miscalculations and it shatters into pieces? You'll be putting people in danger, and you will most certainly not get any more clients. Nothing much is required to lose a job and by the same time, lose your life.

Prepare for your future NOW. You've been told several times that you need to study now, and that sex can wait. Do you know something about overpopulation? The world's population is getting into the 6.8 billions. What if everybody was looking into sex as soon as they thought they could? You can say that's it's because of others... but what about you? Will you choose to be among THEM?

PS. If you need help in math, me and other members will be glad to help you. You can ask here, but show us what you tried to solve the math problem first.

I haven't done history yet, I have that starting this year. & I have
Math-F
Reading-A
Art-A
Science-B
P.E-A
Biology-A
Extra Math-F
Extra Math2-F

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bijiou36

Yea but not break up with me he wouldn't really take enough pills to do it anyway i already know he wouldn't. i "tested" him before to see if he would really do it but he's scared to go to hell if he kills himself. Which i hate when he talks about that stuff

---

Then why were you saying he tried to kill himself if you know he wouldn't do it?
This kind of behavior is childish and manipulative.

Because, he was trying to but I know he's scared to

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bijiou36

i haven't done history yet, i have that starting this year. & i have
Math-F
Reading-A
Art-A
Science-B
P.E-A
Biology-A
Extra Math-F
Extra Math2-F

---

Well, the B in science explains it. I would like to know something though. What do you exactly do in science?

Because, from what I know, the 3 main parts of science that are usually called pure science that is taught are biology, chemistry and physics and I find it strange that your system is such that science and biology are considered apart. They should either be considered as one, or totally separated.

I really don't know why their seprate but in science (since I last went to school) we weren't really doing nothing but taking notes for finals and in Bio it was basically like Sex Ed or something.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bijiou36

i haven't done history yet, i have that starting this year. & i have
Math-F
Reading-A
Art-A
Science-B
P.E-A
Biology-A
Extra Math-F
Extra Math2-F

---

You need to work on schooling before you concern yourself with the experience of love, boyfriends, and a sex life. Without taking your education seriously you will end up nowhere, looking back on your life wondering where you went wrong.

There will be plenty of times to come for you to find a boyfriend, eventually settle down, and have a family. But for you that time is not now and it's especially not with this person.

The things people are telling you are not things they're just pulling out of the head to make it sound good. We all on here have had experiences, lessons, and have learned from them. What's great about learning life lessons is not what we ourselves get from them but the knowledge that we can also pass on to others to help them out or prevent them from making the same bad choices we did.

These people have been there.

You nor your "boyfriend" hold the knowledge or maturity at this time to be together or to work together to fix what is going on. Your "boyfriend" needs more help than you can give him. He has some mental issues going on that CAN be fixed. But not by someone that is the same age and has some issues of her own.

I know you feel like this is love but it's just not. Keep yourself occupied by making friends right now but only friends. Enjoy what you have of your years before you need to face the real world. Look into places like Big Brother/Big Sister to see if you can be enrolled as a child through to program and get some help with areas in your life by someone who has been there but won't seem like it's an adult telling you what to do.

Work on your schooling, look into to a tutor, or as suggested try the math section of this site. You will get passed this situation and some day look back on it and realize just how juvenile and self-destructive it is. This is not all there is to life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bijiou36

i really don't know why their seprate but in science (since i last went to school) we weren't really doing nothing but taking notes for finals and in Bio it was basically like Sex Ed or something.

---

Wait... do you mean you got an A in Sex Ed and still don't know the risks you are taking in your life?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bijiou36

because, he was trying to but i know he's scared to

---

He needs professional help.

Yes I got an A in sex Ed & I do know the risk. If I get pregnant at this age it'll ruin my whole life I could be out on the streets with a baby no food/water and nothing to support us. I Know the risk that COULD HAVE happened that DID NOT happen.

You already forgot what I told you it seems... I'll repeat myself. What did not happen might not happen the next time... but what IF it had happened? You seem to think that since it didn't happen the first, nor the second and nor the third time, you're safe. I told you already that the more try, the more likely it'll happen.

Nooo I don't think that I know that it doesn't matter if it's the last time ever it can still happen. It doesn't matter how many times it is it can still happen, so no I don't think that

So you won't have sex again unless you are financially stable, in a permanent relationship, and eager to have a baby?

I will just not really "sex" as in a penis in a vagina I'll do it other ways I guess.

You still want to guard yourself against disease. You can get herpes from oral sex and anal sex.
You need to be careful.

I Know, I don't plan to do it anytime soon anyway, I don't even have a boyfriend. But even if I do get one, we won't be doing any of that the 1st few months, that's how I get to know if they really want to be with me or if their using me

That is smart thinking.
Use this time to concentrate on your studies. Hang out with your friends, leave dating and boy friends alone for a while.
You have plenty of time.

I Am, but the problem with that is, I have more friends that are guys than girls, I Don't know why but I don't get along with girls much and my dad thinks that if I hangout with a guy I'm going to have sex wit him. But Yeea I'm not even focused on friends I'm focused on my grades so I can go to colleague and major in Writing if they have that

I can understand that. My daughter when she was your age had more male friends than female.
Have you tried talking to your dad about this? Not in anger just a chat.

I have a feeling you're going to be OK

Yea I tried to explain to him that its hard for me to get along with girls a lot & way easier to get along with guys and he said "still no only girls i don't need you to lie to me i know you've probly thought about sleeping with one." I try a lot every now & then though.

Well it's too bad he does not understand that it is possible to have guy friends.
You will be OK though. Just hang in there.

Okay, well can I major in colleague at writing?

You can if you work hard, but you better get a handle on that spelling of yours :)

Okay! I always spell wrong if it's on something like this or myspace/facebook etc, But if it's something importantt for skool or a Job or something then I'll do it properly