Can you please explain what you're talking about? I know she doesn't want back with me.. what I want to know is why she's phoning me and if I dealt with it right...Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
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Can you please explain what you're talking about? I know she doesn't want back with me.. what I want to know is why she's phoning me and if I dealt with it right...Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
I think homegirl didn't finish reading
Well If I misunderstood I'm sorry. I'm not getting what your asking. If you have decided to leave her alone, then you've done the right thing. You had a moment of weakness and chatted with her. Just don't do it again.
Again, I apologize
She called to take your temperature, and see where your head was at after a vacation. It was a big mistake to even answer the phone, because she knows you will be happy in the friend zone, and may call to chat you up more. Of course you'll eat it up, because you think she will change her mind and see what she has missed and things can be as they were before. WRONG! She will confuse your poor head, until moving on and getting healthy, will be even harder. That's what you need more than this one sided relationship, is to get your head on straight and deal with reality. She kicked you to the curb, but still wants you at the end of a leash(phone) Get real and check the caller ID, before you answer and stop talking like she is your friend, and you won't be wondering why this, why that. It not healthy to be consumed with what she does or thinks, before you know yourself enough too love yourself FIRST!! No contact, but in your case NO CHATTING either.Quote:
Originally Posted by DazzaB
First of all answering that call WRONG!!
Your not listening to any advice you are receiving on here...
No contact means if she calls you don't answer. It's that simple either get srious with no contact or stay in the friend zone.
The reason she called you was cause she was feeling a bit lonely and thought old faithful would still be on the leash so she went to the cupboard pulled out some doggy treats and tossed them down the phone line and there was her little pupppy dog chomping at the biyt...
Imagine what she would have been thinking when you didn't answer. Or better yet don't be rude answer the phone but say EXACTLY THIS. Hi is everything OK she replies " I was just wondering how yourve been. You repoly " You said you didn't want to ever speak to me again so why are you calling? She replies "well i just wanted to know what yourve been up to and how yourve been . You reply " well Ive been fine but you said you o longer want to know me so that's that I have to go BYE!! Hang up get some control back don't be afraid she will call again if she is keen. Push her away she will get keener and if she is not that keen she won't and you will then have your answer to why she is calling!! She is calling to make sure your still waiting on her. Get some balls and show her you are no longe waitning on her!! Get some courage take a chance put her in her place let her know what she told you is what your sticking to!!
Really mate she said she doesn't want you so why would you even consider talking to someone like that!!
Quick run down my ex said same crap a s yours. I did the same crap as you. Then I realised she said she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. So what does that mean when she rings it means reafirm what she told you. She said she doesn't want to speak to you well give her that she has to live by what she says or elae she will walk on you like she is. Get some balls if you want this girl back give yourself a chaance and stop answering and act like you don't need her and you may just get a surprise... Either way she will get a surprise when she realises her dog ahas run away!! Everyone gets upset when they realise the dog is pff the leash and then they go looking for uoit. Diont go running back find a new owner and the old one will want you back! Girls LOVE what they can't have! ALWAYS
Feeling very disappointed now... a lot has happened in the past month.. we got talking again and we've met up a few times. Had a great night on Saturday night there when it felt like we had just started going out with each other, couldn't keep our hands off each other, etc. She sent a text to me saying "it really sucks not having you as my boyfriend"..
I was going to take it slow and then ask her to be my girlfriend again soon but this week has changed my mind.. she told me that she was free on Saturday so I asked her to meet up and she said yes. Now she told me that we're not meeting up on Saturday because her friend and her has plans, and apparently, friends come first.
She is also going to a wedding tomorrow with a male "friend"..
I think I'm regretting getting this close with her again..
I'm feeling so down tonight because I know she is going to be with this boy at a wedding allll day tomorrow. I think this is the first boy she's been with since we broke up and I keep getting memories of all the times she told me that she'd always be mine.
:(:( - has anyone else ever experienced this?
You need to leave her alone. She will string you along as long as you keep going for it.
Don't answer when she call and don't call her.
Yes we have, most of us here have been through pretty much the same thing and some of us had to learn the hard way that the relationship was over, and we had to move on. Join the club. Now accept the facts, and get a healthy life through NO CONTACT, and move on, as she has.Quote:
Originally Posted by DazzaB
Definitely move on no contact she will string you along
Quote:
Originally Posted by DazzaB
Hell yeah everybody's experience this. Some of more then once. As I went back and reread the thread to refresh my memory all I could think of was "if he had just taken this advice the first time." Everything was there but you were blinded by it all and you didn't want to accept the fact you were being strung along. Well accept it now. Learn from it now. When it's over and when she calls for a break you get out of there and grant her, her wish and prove her wrong by not being available to her.
I got to the point and asked her did she ever see us in an exclusive relationship again after she was acting "off" with me once again. She told me she didn't want to for years to come, so I told her we're better off going separate ways as we wanted different things.
No contact comes into tact again.
Hadn't heard from her since I broke it off with her except for Thursday night when she rung me. I shouldn't have answered it but I did and I've learnt that I shouldn't answer anymore because it just makes me think about her even more.
She has put up things on her Bebo profile about how much she loves boys and all this other crap, probably to make me jealous and to hurt me. I try not to look at her profile but the temptation is too much.
Apart from looking at her profile, I've been keeping well. I occupy my whole day by packing in as many things as possible, but today I'm not doing anything and it's making me think and hurt about her.
Stop looking at at her profile, and torturing yourself.Quote:
Apart from looking at her profile, I've been keeping well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DazzaB
I think you learned this lesson before that, now you must put it into practice.
She does probably do it to torture you. That doesn't exactly make her somebody you should be having feelings about does it? It shows her for the true coward she is. It shows her for the true cold hearted snake she really is. It shows her for her true lack of respect not only for you, but the relationship she had with you. I could go on but my point is that this is the real her, so you need to start accepting it and USE it as leverage to start telling yourself that you are to good to be loving someone that acts like and treats other people like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by DazzaB
Go running or for a long walk.Quote:
Originally Posted by DazzaB
I'm doing fine without her, honestly I am. It's been two long months without her and if I hadn't of gone back, I'd probably be over her by now...
I've joined my new college and there's plenty of good looking girls. I like it so that's keeping my mind off her.
I feel for you, I really do, braking up is always so damn hard.
I got to be honest, at 15 she probably want to see what else is out there y'know, she's young and so are you and she has been with you for awhile. I hate to say it but usually these things stay gone, although that is not written in stone, just from past experiences oncea girl says date other people it means she has moved on and will not be coming back.
As for writingher and this and that, I doubt very much that whether you write her or not will make any difference. If she is set on dating others than whether you chat with her on MSN will not change her mind, it will not sway her one way or the other. Although I would lay off it, I mean all you are doing is exposing your feelings to her and making yourself vulnerable, she has all the control.
Back-off, hurt and heal, that's the recipe. I hate that it tastes so bad butwe all got to gotrough it my man, we've all been there and I won't waste your time telling you your going to find someone better and all that jazz, you will I hope, but you'll hurt, its just the way life and relationships works, goodwith the bad.
Best of luck and stay cool.
Thanks for that BMI. I have stopped all contact with her, I feel like I'm in control now and she seems to be doing the chasing.
This week I think I've been happier than I have been in a long while. Maybe that's the sign I'm getting over her. Have to stop looking at her Bebo profile though, that's what's making me hurt even more.
I've realised the relationship is over and I'm doing stuff now that my ex would never have let me do when we were going out (going to housepartys and stuff) but there is still the occasional moment that I miss her.
That's normal, good idea to get rid of anything that you can spy, I deleted my Facebook account because I was lookingat her profile everyday and wondering who was talkingto her and what was going on, it drove me mad. Stay strongand keep doing what you are doing, in acouple of weeks/monthsyou'll feel incontrol and then who knows where the cards may fall.
I was you 5 months ago, I wentthrough the same thing, then ideleted my Facebook and left italone andthen came back 3 months later, we talk now and things may be going toward us getting backtogether or at least well... geting... NEVERTHELESS! You get the picture
Well, I kind of hooked up with my ex's friend, not knowing that they were friends and now gossip is getting about. It'll only be a matter of time before my ex finds out and that'll be us over for good. Probably a blessing in disguise though...
Well look at this superstar, back on the road to victory already, way to go! As a member ofour team (male) I would like to congratulate you with a very loud ATTA BOY! This is one for ourside.
Bet you feel better already, now U have the power, U are the man, of course it totally killed any chance of you getting back with her and I guess you dolook like a realjerk in their eyes and morally you may want to look at yourself and... LETS save that for later,right nowenjoy the moment and walk a little taller knowing that you accomplished something that is not easy to do:)
Yeah, I do feel good about it. It'll show her that I can do without her.. and she's started talking about boys more and more on her profile since she found out, so this would explain why she is writing about boys so much.
I'm getting over her, slowly but surely. I don't miss her as much anymore, I've lasted 2 months now without her so I'm getting used to the fact we won't be back together and after the way she has treated me, I'm better off without her.
Yep, she definitely found out now... she's been trying to ring me all day and I never answered and now she has texted me asking did I go with her mate...
I feel bad about it, I know she's hurt me countless of times and this is probably the first time I've really hurt her but I do feel bad.
Not only have I destroyed the small, small chance of us getting back together but I've hurt the girl I care about the most :(
Anyone got any positive outlook of this?
You sound like a very good human. To care about those that hurt you is commendable. To go back to them, is well not so commendable. To move forward beyond them is GREAT!!
Enjoy yourself. Maybe socialize with girls make her jealous she will want you back in a heartbeat. Or just go out and hangout with the guys. Don't let her know you are doing bad.
She's very upset with me about the whole friend situation.. she rung and rung when she found out, I didn't answer as I was doing NC, then she texted me asking did I go with her friend, I never replied either.
Can't help but feel bad and know that I've ruined the whole relationship now. But she's hurt me plenty of times and this is the first time I've really hurt her. And hey, maybe it'll make her realise that I'm not sulking about her anymore and might make her come back to me...
Need a quick reply... to clear the air, should I apologise for kissing her friend? Or would that be stupid?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DazzaB
1. Haven't read the rest so I'm not up to date but to answer your question no apologies.
2. Kissing her friend of all people. Nice.
3. Hello Brooke, I'm Chuff.
Are you trying to be sarcastic? I feel awful :(
Feel awful for what? Kissing her friend after she dumped you?Quote:
Originally Posted by DazzaB
Yes, I can't help it.
Tonight she sent me a video of us together and our old song in the background :(:(! Brought back all the good memories :(
It's almost like she's trying to manipulate you.Quote:
Originally Posted by DazzaB
I was being sarcastic there. Because she is trying to manipulate you.
She brought this on herself. You didn't do one thing to ask to be put on her back burner. Now that she sees your not going to wait around for her like a wimp suddenly she takes an interest in you. Really? Is that all you are to her, someone who is supposed to wait around for her and when that doesn't work she has to bring out the old emotional tricks?
Since she sent me that video, an hour ago... I didn't reply. Now she has text me a message saying, "Whats up? xox".. I haven't replied to that either.
What's the best thing to do? Stay No Contact or show a little interest?
No contact at all. Look at what it's doing to her. You are winning.
I think if you are ignoring her so you can get over her, that's good and I hope you succeed. If you're doing all of this to get back at her, to get even, you will ever get over her because revenge will be driving you and revenge needs to be fed.
Get over her and d move on. Don't call her or text her, or if you really mean it, or are really serious about getting over her, answer her call and tell her "don't call me any more. I am done with you so you should be done with me as well"
She is young and wants to explore beyond this relationship.Quote:
she suggested going out casually (we still see each other but see other people too).
A logical responseQuote:
I said no, definitely not
Again, she wants to explore, and she will, or has.Quote:
Only this time she suggested that we go on a "break
She has someone in mind to explore with. Maybe it didn't work out, (most likely) or she regrets her actions, either way, move on as this is over. I know the feelings are strong and intense, but so is the likelyhood of her wanting another break.Quote:
She told me the reason for this was that we can see other people for a while. She told me she's only 15 and wants to see other people at this age.
This is from August, do you remember it?Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Personally, at this point I'd ask her straight out if she wants to be with you or what?
I know that is:
1) unexpected
2) and uncharacteristic of you
BUT
You have been pining for nearly 4 months now... and all you really want to know is will she sleep with you? I would too... So, let's get to the bottom of this. Get the truth on the table...
(And get a therapist if she dumps you again and you take this to seriously... )
OR
CUT THIS OFF ONCE AND FOR ALLLLLL... You have an opportunity to take control here - take it.
As my grandmother used to say "pee or get off the pot"
Keep playing games with her, or tell her to get lost. The choice is yours.
If you go back with her then get married have kids and have a miserable life together, you will deserve it. And by the way you will forfit any right to complain as well because we told you so and you wouldn't listen.
But if you have any common sense at all you will stay away from her, a long way from her.
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