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Originally Posted by aliseaodo

Yikes! I don't care what you say, Americans don't call dresses 'gowns' - ever (we DO say Bridal Gown... pretty sure that's about it.. I would never say to my co-worker 'hey, what gown are you wearing tomorrow.. ), and, even if another poster referred to school after high school as 'university' rather than 'college' there is no reason why you would feel the need to use that word, if anything, you would address the point that the poster had mistakenly used the term 'university' instead of 'college'. ALSO - I have spent many a fine night in a club - we never called it a 'Gown Club' - never. You are correct when you say that they are not called 'dress clubs' that makes no sense. If I had to label it, I would call it a 'Club' or a 'Dance Club' plain and simple. If there was stripping - it would be called a 'strip club' My European friend, get your vernacular right before you start trolling again, just sayin'...

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I am neither European nor am I trolling. I was seeking genuine objective advice here, and some delivered. Then some come along, calling "Troll!" and shatter the intensity.
I guess it's a little refreshing.

Now. Dancers, managers, owners, insiders in the business - we call them gown clubs, because we, the girls, wear gowns. Not mini-dresses, not bikinis, not two-pieces. Gowns are what we call the floor-length, sequined, rhinestone'd things. They are the fanciest thing a dancer can wear and the high-end clubs require girls to wear them and nothing else. If a club is a "gown club," it is probably upscale. We are talking about only strip clubs, here, and a sub-set of strip clubs at that. But it is natural for the casual club-goer not to know this.

These dresses are not dissimilar to these (although more revealing by some degrees, of course):
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/gal...-golden-globe-GOWNS-411984

It's a New York website. They call these non-stripper's dresses "gowns," too. Although I concede that the word is not commonplace and constitutes a specific jargon. Before I danced, gowns were what I called a specific type of sleepwear.


But again, this is all rather irrelevant.

The abuse has since fizzled down but it was still there just last year. It was in diverse forms and very intense when I was a child. I like to tell myself I am over most of it and have forgiven them.

I danced under a friend's ID.
This took place when I lived with a great-aunt. My family had to live across a few states with my younger siblings for their schooling, whereas they let me go somewhere else for mine. I sneaked out of the window and sometimes the front door when she was snoring.

It was all very irresponsible of me.

They found out very close to the end of last semester and took me home just after finals. They had me take online versions of my last couple of classes this semester.
I will graduate this May. I'd tell you my field of study, but it may be specific and disclose things. It's a STEM field. I am eligible to go directly to pursuing a doctorate from a BS. I may do so, in time.

I imagine a young child thrust among older people would feel abused, and act out, and forgive me for not putting full faith in a smart kid who has more brains than maturity, and is sneaky and deceptive also.

You seem to be having a big problem reconciling that perception of your reality, and your inability to process the emotions behind your experience. That's why we think you are a troll, because your conversation is that of a confused child hiding things and though anonymous you purposely steer away from the pertinent truth with wordy deflections and NON answers.

That's why you get what you get from the posters here, and specifically my reaction to your flawed narrative and assertions. You really could benefit from a mentor who takes no crap from you and can guide you to better thinking and decisions. Then I think you can bring a better balance between reality, and the perception of reality, and the coping skill set that often comes after adult hood, with mature common sense that leads to good orderly direction to channel that rebellious nature of arrogance.

You have a gift and also a choice to use it for good or bad. So far you are leaning bad, and that's a rather sloppy way of managing the gifts you SHOULD be very grateful for. In short you are stuck between the kid you are and the adult you want to be, and seem to think that masquerading as an adult gives you some kind reason to hide the child in you.

Bet you have no one in your life you look up too, and value as a better to follow, and instead choose the glamorous images to emulate, typical teen age BS. You allude to past trauma, as a reason to justify your behavior, which may be plausible but who can know from what you have written so far? Your past experience is moot when there is no context to them.

You need to do better and that start with your attitude. No adult likes to be manipulated by a smart kid so cut it out! How dare you try to school us on the fine points of high class(?) strip clubs or fashion fairs/pageants and the like. What are you some type of snob or something? Get real, and keep it real! So far you have NOT. Not to ADULTS any way.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ml#post3635191

I don't feel abused. I was. Sometimes teens misinterpret reality and of course, sometimes I misinterpret reality, but I was abused.

I guess it's true that I can't find anyone to look up to. Maybe that's why I'm on this site with you guys. I'm not good with adults and admit that sometimes I over-act mature on the outside to hide cracks inside. I lie, yes. But I can't find a reason to lie on here with you all.

I didn't mean to come across as snobbish when I explained the gown matter. In fact, I didn't think it possible to be a strip-club snob, because strip clubs are such a low thing, in my opinion and in others', as well. Still, I was sure of myself in that matter and felt I couldn't afford to seem soft-spoken, lest everyone believe I didn't know what I was talking about.

I have family members who are good with hacking and computers and who know that I'm, well, a kid worth watching. I, on the other hand, am not very knowledgeable about these things. I err towards remaining over-anonymous, and even then, I worry that I am not succeeding. I regret the misunderstandings it causes.