Ask Me Help Desk - How to ask a girl out in 6th grade?

Quote:

Originally Posted by gamemeister

well I didn't mean one on one dating I meant our parents taking us to the movies and things like that

See this is what I have been asking, what do you mean by asking out. Had you explained that earlier, our answers would have changed slightly. But let me answer your other questions.

First, someone telling you that you are mature for your age, or more mature than your classmates or peers, is a compliment but it doesn't mean you are mature enough for certain things. At 13 there is no way you are mature period. At 13 you would be more mature than your classmates, and, having gone through cancer has probably also helped you mature early.

But, technically you are still a child. You will be until you reach 18. You may be considered an adolescent or young adult, but that is still a child. And I agree with the others, I wouldn't allow my daughter to date at 11. She was 14 before she was allowed to date 1 on 1.

And we have other reasons. It would be one thing for you to hang out together in groups. I have no problem with that if both sets of parents don't. But doing things like going out to eat, going to a movie, etc. are more adult things. One of the biggest things is how will you afford it? Even at first showing costs, taking her to a movie will set you back close to $20 for admission and snack. I'm assuming you don't have a job, and that's a lot for an allowance to cover. And what else would you do the rest of the month.

Your age is about making friends to hang out with. Maybe go to a movie in a group or terrorize ( ;) ) the mall on a weekend afternoon. Its still a bit young (especially the girls in your grade) for boy/girl relationships.

Yes I would prefer to do that but I can't really meet any thirteen year olds because I'm only in sixth grade with eleven and twelve year old girls so unless I meet a girl on the bus or something I won't meet any thirteen year olds

Quote:

Originally Posted by gamemeister

yes I would prefer to do that but I can't really meet any thirteen year olds because I'm only in sixth grade with eleven and twelve year old girls so unless I meet a girl on the bus or something I won't meet any thirteen year olds

There are other avenues for you. School groups that transcend grades. Church or other such groups.

Well like I said I could meet a girl on the bus last year I moved to three schools in one year but at the second school I met a sixth grader I liked on the bus good thing the bus ride was forty five minutes long and I was only in fifth grade so maybe its possible I could meet a girl on the bus cause I can't do any sort of after school activity especially sports I hate sports and am not very good at them I would just make myself look like an idiot

Do you live near the public library? Libraries emphasize middle school/teen books and programs nowadays. Your local Y and park district will offer programs and classes for your age group. Many of these will be on weekends. Churches offer youth programs (and you don't have to be a member, although you will be asked to join). Does your school have after-school programs (not just sports) and a late bus that you could take home?

I'm not talking about sports, sports don't tend to be co-ed so that doesn't help you. But how about the school newspaper? Or things like that? I think you will have a problem with girls in your grade. Parents will be suspicious of a student so much older than their daughters.

Have you looked into trying to get ahead in your school work so you can skip a grade and get closer to your own age groups? Maybe if you concentrate on school work and work real hard, you can go into 8th grade next year and things will be less awkward for you. I would strongly advise talking to your guidance counselor at school about this as soon as you start back in school (if you haven't already).

Your hormones say meet girls, the adults say meet people your own age and maturity level. Then you can enjoy yourself and have more options, and opportunities as you grow and learn more about the world, and yourself.

Okay I got a girlfriend my own way now there is two problems 1. someone who is one of my best friends likes her. I don't want to stop being his friend but I don't want to break up with her either any advice 2. she may have only said yes because she didn't want to hurt my feelings because she has been my friend just as long as the kid who likes her what do I do about this I need help.

Sorry it took so long for me to post again I've been busy with school and everything

That is one of the complications we were warning you about

Quote:

Originally Posted by gamemeister

okay I got a girlfriend my own way now their is two problems 1. someone who is one of my best friends likes her. I don't want to stop being his friend but I don't want to break up with her either any advice 2. she may have only said yes because she didn't want to hurt my feelings because she has been my friend just as long as the kid who likes her what do I do about this I need help.

sorry it took so long for me to post again I've been busy with school and everything

Yes this is why you are too young for this. These relationships are too complicated for your young minds.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You will never get a date, go out, or have a girlfriend unless you overcome your shyness and learn to talk to her. About ANYTHING! Practice makes perfect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

The whole point is sometimes your hormones lead to wacky uncomfortable and bad situations and you really have to control yourself and go slow with them. Its hard enough learning new things about your world and yourself as you change and grow during this time, without intense feelings getting in the way. Hormone driven intense new feelings take time to adjust too, and that's not easy without being cool, calm, collected, and ALWAYS in control of yourself.

Its so easy to be led astray by some know it all friend who doesn't know as much as you do most times, and find yourself in a big mess. Its called peer pressure, and its a easy trap to fall into, listening to the crowd, but the good news is if you can think for yourself, and be careful who you listening to you can avoid that trap.

Think for yourself and do what you know is the right thing, the right way, and listen to the right people if you don't now.

And PUH-Leeeeze! stop making new threads about the same questions. That's not the right thing to do for sure. Enjoy learning how to talk to girls ALL of them. Take it slow and do this the right way.

What do YOU think is the right thing to do? You got yourself in this, get yourself out of it. Sorry to be harsh, but you didn't listen to the adults before, so what makes us think you will listen NOW? Think it thru, and reply, and none of that know it all snark!

Argue with your parents about it. They gave you permission, they also probably have good advice and answers to your questions.

I realized something this week I don't need as much help as much as I thought I did

Quote:

Originally Posted by gamemeister

I realized something this week I don't need as much help as much as I thought I did

No, I think you now think you know more than you really do. So you will ignore older and wiser heads and do what you think is right, until you screw up and maybe learn from your mistakes.

I know there's this guy that has a major crush on me, he always walks me to class, and is always inviting me over so you can do that