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So I was just wondering how I can tell if this guy really likes me or not... He told me at one point that he was interested in both me and my friend, but at the time, was kind of focused more on her. But then a week or two ago, he told me he doesn't want to lead her on, but still has interest in both of us. Recently he's been overly flirtatious with me, but I don't know what he wants for real. I've asked him and gotten answers, but they haven't always sufficed. But I didn't want to get annoying asking him again, to be clearer.. so pretty much what I'm asking is what kind of signs should I look for with him?

It really sounds like he is after sex. If a guy is into you and only you, he wouldn't say that he is into you and your friend.

Men will say things to get you into bed.. be careful

Why can't you see he is playing you both against each other? When a guy tells two friends he likes them both, he is probably testing to see how good of friends you really are, and how can he exploit it. It's a common thing that older guys do when they must divide and conquer, because you both have shown him interest enough, and basically not communicated honestly with each other to compare notes, and see his game.

Your looking for signs of interest from him, well you already have had those signs, and they are warning you both his game is beyond you both, and he has his own agenda for you young girls, and the one that falls for his okey doke, will be the big loser.

You both are letting him play you, because your own feelings have you blind to what this adult is doing to you kids who want to be grown.

Sorry to be harsh, but reality, and real life, are harsh on those who don't listen.

He is not some lovesick confused teen ager. Don't you be either.

Yeah, I know this, and I'm starting to see it. But I still don't want to believe it. I mean, one of our mutual guy friends talked to him for me (I was present for the conversation, but the boy I like doesn't know this) and it def seemed like he's into me. But I'm not sure.
And the other thing is my best friends is pissed at me because me and the guy made plans to hang and I didn't run it by her. She doesn't run her plans by me, so should I run mine by her? She is truly blowing this whole thing out of proportion.. other people have even noticed her acting oddly and saying they can't believe how she's being with this whole thing. She's not acting like my frined at all, and I am being upfront with her about everything, so what if I hang out with him without telling her. He's my friend too.

You all say he's playing me, us. The answer I want is what signs do I look for to prove that either yes, he is playing us, or no, there might be more? This is the question I want answered, please, with out other input about the relationship

Threads merged



Graduation is coming up and over the course of the past couple weeks, it seems like all of my friends are suddenly changing into attitudy mean people. My best friends doesn't even talk to me as much anymore. She just stopped being herself toward me with no warning. But its impossible to talk to her about it. And on top of this, I've been feeling so alone and empty for the past couple months. This time last year, I entered a relationship that majorly affected my life, but ended ugly. Could that be what is adding to this feeling of depression? I've just been crying constantly. At everything. What can I do?

You are leaving HS and about to embark on a new phase in life. That makes you edgy and all of your other friends who are graduating are probably feeling the same way.
You are leaving what you have known for the last four years and moving on to the unknown. It is perfectly normal to be feeling this angst.

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I know at the end of senior year people change a lot. And I understand why. But I thought id have and keep my ''bff'' through all of this, but she has shown her true colors, and I am done with her. I'm done puttin up with what I've put up with in the past. I'm one hundred percent done with her immaturity. So the hard part comes when I tell her she can no longer stay at my beach place for senior week. How do I deal with losing my best friend? And how do I tell her that she can't come anymore? She hasn't given me any money or anything yet, so I feel that its perfectly acceptable for me to make this decision seeing as I want next to no drama for senior week. (btw for those of you who don't know what senior week is, it's the week right after grad when all the seniors go to the beach to party and such)

Just be sure you want this friendship to end forever. Friends on each get on each others nerves.

Have you considered she may not have the money to go? If she has hurt you badly then do what you think you should, but do it with compassion.

Maybe there is something going on in her life that has made her change. How long has she been
Your friend and how did she show her true colors?

We've been bffs for four years.. pretty much all of high school. But she has always been super immature and this past month it seems like she doesn't even want to be my friend anymore. She convinced me to go to prom by saying that she needs her best friends at prom to make it the best night ever, well we got there and she has an attitude I saw/spoke to her for about 5 min if that and she wouldn't make eyecontact, then when I called this treatment to her attention after prom, she acted like I was crazy, but my other friend was on my side. Eer since we haven't been a hundred percent, and she's treated me like an outsider. And we graduate in two weeks, and she's acting like a 5 yro talking about me LOUDLY when I pass so I hear her. Then she talks bad about me in class. Our mutual friend even told her she's being immature and is on my side about this.

I just want to know how the best way to uninvite her would be, and ps, I know the money thing is not a factor because shed only have to pay 100 dollars, and she has a job and her family is well off

Oh and why are these threads merged?? This situation has nothing to do with the prior one

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Originally Posted by redhead1992

oh and why are these threads merged??? this situation has nothing to do with the prior one

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I think you should just get her by herself and tell her how you feel. Face to face. Ask her what has happened to make her treat you the way she has. I'm with you about her talking behind your back and making rude comments. Friends don't hurt each other that way. Good luck and have a great Senior week.:) I suppose the threads were merged because in your prior thread you talked about you both liking the same guy. Maybe this is the problem>

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Originally Posted by redhead1992

oh and why are these threads merged??? this situation has nothing to do with the prior one

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Because it's important to know your history in order to answer your questions - which basically do pertain to the same problem(s).

Is this the same girl you let a boy come between you two?

I think you need to leave the 21 year old who played you both, alone.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Is this the same girl you let a boy come between you two?

I think you need to leave the 21 year old who played you both alone.

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I agree with Homegirl. This guy is playing you both and it has ruined a friendship. Guys like him are a dime a dozen, but a friend is supposed to be a friend for life.

Well the whole situation with that guy ended a couple months ago, we both realized where we were wrong and kicked him to the curb. So as far as I know, that should have zero influence on this situation since we worked past that. Besides, this guy has a girlfriend now who he cares about a lot, so even if she did want him still, she wouldn't have a chance, and it wouldn't matter to me

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well the whole situation with that guy ended a couple months ago, we both realized where we were wrong and kicked him to the curb.

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Some take longer than others to process things from the past, and reconcile them.

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.
You may have gotten over it, and she says she did, but their seems to be lingering resentment and hard feelings. Just because you cannot see how events are related, doesn't mean they are NOT!

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Originally Posted by redhead1992

well the whole situation with that guy ended a couple months ago, we both realized where we were wrong and kicked him to the curb. so as far as i know, that should have zero influence on this situation since we worked past that. besides, this guy has a girlfriend now who he cares about a lot, so even if she did want him still, she wouldnt have a chance, and it wouldnt matter to me

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Still, didn't that cause the rift in the first place? Do you really want to let a friendship end like this? Please talk to her. Get together and just say what you feel and let her say what she feels. Friends fight, but they get over it. I don't think you or she has worked past the situation with the "guy".

He's moved on both of you have stopped being friends and it hasn't affected him in the least. He was and still is a player. He led both of you on and now you have lost a friend. Try to patch things up. Be the bigger person and you'll see how much better you feel. Good Luck and be safe on your trip.

I'm going to get in my Mom mode, here for a moment and tell you just as I did my own kids. Don't go anywhere alone with someone you don't know. Don't drink anything a stranger may give you. Don't let your guard down and watch out for the smooth talkers. Let us know how you enjoyed your trip. Have a good time young lady:)

He has moved on but you still allowed the rift in your friendship and it may take her a while to move on.
There are consequences to every action and just because you have forgotten about what you did, it does not mean she has.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

He has moved on but you still allowed the rift in your friendship and it may take her a while to move on.
There are consequences to every action and just because you have forgotten about what you did, it does not mean she has.

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I have to agree with Tal and Homegirl. She is probably hurt and her actions though not very nice, is her way of showing she is hurt. Good Luck

We all react differently to emotional pain. I wouldn't doubt she has probably been as stressed over senior year as you have.