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-   -   This is weird, but good? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=372683)

  • Jul 15, 2009, 07:28 AM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy View Post
    I never meant to sound like you need to over indulge her.

    Well that's what spoiling means.

    Now I agree.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 07:32 AM
    jmw0713

    Oh... try not to get too nervous. I know it's your first date with a smoking hot babe, but remember she will be nervous too. The best thing to counter act that is to remember, you have nothing to lose, don't expect anything, and she WANTS to be in your company. Light humor is great way to relief the tension.

    Good Luck!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 08:00 AM
    BMI

    Honestly, the fact you came up with the idea of meeting her and taking the bus with her means that you'll do just fine the rest of the date. I'd never have thought of that and I got to say it is really quite nice to hear you put that much thought into her comfort level.

    Or maybe I'm just a jerk:)

    You'll do fine.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 08:45 AM
    NallaNeedsYou

    Im hoping not to have problems on the gentleman level. But to be honest she isn't unnaturaly mature but she accepts me and likes me as a person so to me she is something very dear that to lose would hurt me a lot. I don't have the comfort of friends to fall on if... best not to think about it. Money wise I have worked out for the day it will cost at the very most £70 which isn't bad at all. I don't spend my money often so it normally stacks up but that includes 2 meals at a nice Pizza restaurant at the waterside. (too much?) Im glad you think getting on the bus is a good idea because I think she will be more likely to actually go if I am there with her. And we are 14 and no matter how sweet I think it would be to get her flowers I'm not sure she is seeing this as a date. I need to speak to her and safely hint as it more than going to see a film in town. I don't know what to say or what to expect the day was mentioned whilst talking and we haven't spoken of it in depth yet. If I had asked if she would like to go on a date then I would feel different but because its not clear if she would go on a date with me if I was to call it that I'm catching myself a bit. Yes, I know. Its not good to start a day out not really knowing what you want from it but this is the closest I have ever got to well, you know, a kiss even. How funny. :( OK so the difficult bit, how do I show that I want the day to be special without making her feel bad if she says she just wants to watch the film? How do I do it so its less seriouse than a date but more than a day with a friend? I think I have given the impression that I'm confident that she likes me enough to go through but really I'm a wreck but I don't want her to get upset or feel guilty. It's a hard one :(
  • Jul 15, 2009, 08:50 AM
    NallaNeedsYou

    Actually reading your posts again. I'm sure she doesn't know this is a date. Um cheeky idea let her find out herself? (then if it goes horribly wrong I go off on the whole first time out with a friend and didn't know what to do thing :P)
  • Jul 15, 2009, 09:03 AM
    zippit

    Ride with her to the movies or not her is what will when her over is a the end of the date,this is very important.
    RIDE BACK WITH HER.its your job she gets home safely.and if she lives a block from the bus stop get out and walk her to her door nothing less will do.if the date goes good and you do this she will know you have her safety in mind.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 09:47 AM
    jmw0713

    At 14, you are still growing and learning. Just have fun with her. Treat this like you are going out with a friend. Let things naturally progress and if it feels right then it should all work out.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:10 AM
    NallaNeedsYou

    I got return tickets... not entirely sure with the idea of letting it happen :S I'm not confident and I would be surprised if she understood me
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:18 AM
    jmw0713

    Don't force anything. Just go with the flow and have a good time without worrying about this or that. Don't over think the situation. You'll end up working yourself up over nothing. Look at this as an opportunity to get to know more about this girl and for her to get to know more about you.

    EDIT: Look at this as an outing between you and a friend.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:20 AM
    Torrid13

    Wait... I'm confused.

    She doesn't know this is a date? But you're taking her on a date and hoping to surprise her? Why don't you just ask her? I'm not sure a "surprise" date is the way to go, especially since you're not sure if she even likes you.

    I wouldn't worry about the details of the night (which is looks like you're on the right track anyway) until you KNOW it's a date! Ask her! Don't surprise her!

    It would be super awkward if she thought you were just going as friends (because she just wants to be friends) and then you're like "WOO DATE!" Eck. Awkward turtle.

    Just ask her.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:39 AM
    HelpinHere

    Yes, if you are going on a "date-date" then it would be a good idea to ride with her.
    Does she like the whole "café scene?"
    If you're paying, and you prefer quality, go for the more expensive. Unless she has a particular reason to prefer the cheap one, it's a better move.
    How long does she have to stay out? Can you make it to the expensive Cinema + Dinner afterwards, or would she get into trouble for being out too late? (or you)
    What does she prefer? You don't want to be calling all of the shots, because if you start a relationship, then she may become resentful that you aren't letting her have any decisions.

    Good Luck!
    I know, the first date is always the hardest! (especially the FIRST first date)

    PS: I'm taking my girlfriend to the new HP movie too! XD
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:43 AM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jmw0713 View Post
    Just go with the flow and have a good time....

    Sorry, but only dead fish go with the flow. You need to make a path for yourself, or else you will be just like everyone else out there. Just by how much I know you off these threads, I know you aren't that kind of guy.


    Also, if she doesn't KNOW it is a date, she needs to know. It's never a good idea to be confused about the date vs hang-out thing, and it only leads to confusion and akwardness. If she doesn't want to make it a date, you are still welcome to take her, and what you do may just change her mind.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 11:03 AM
    NallaNeedsYou

    Hmmm. Thought that might happen :( yes I know, I knew before I said anything but I hoped against hope. She has her phone off which gives me time to decide to scrap my idea of a date and go as friends or figure out a way of getting it to be more than hanging out. Maybe using the same advice you have given me because what is she going to lose? What's the worse that could happen? I want to make it clear what's happening but I don't know how, I'm trying to pull crystal from the mud :( well we have time to watch the film and get a meal then catch the bus back. I have a game plan for something I'm not invited to yet, silly me. Sheesh god bless AMHD
  • Jul 15, 2009, 11:13 AM
    Torrid13
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou View Post
    Hmmm. thought that might happen :( yes i know, i knew before i said anything but i hoped against hope. She has her phone off which gives me time to decide to scrap my idea of a date and go as friends or figure out a way of getting it to be more than hanging out. Maybe using the same advice you have given me because what is she going to lose? whats the worse that could happen? i want to make it clear whats happening but i dont know how, im trying to pull crystal from the mud :( well we have time to watch the film and get a meal then catch the bus back. i have a game plan for something im not invited to yet, silly me. sheesh god bless AMHD

    Hey... all hope is not lost, okay? Remember what you told me on my question, "How to Make a Good Impression"? You told me to be confident and to love myself and that confidence is the key. You have to have confidence in yourself, too!

    You never know until you ask her. You can do it! Don't get down on yourself yet! You seem to be a very kind and sweet young man... even if she says no (which she would be crazy to do!) there are plenty of other girls that would love to go on a date with such a gentleman.

    And you're young; if she says no (again, she'd be crazy) there's plenty more opportunities as you get older to ask girls out!

    Good luck!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 11:20 AM
    NallaNeedsYou

    Ok. I'm hoping but I have to ask right. Right? What do I say? We have to get something to eat whilst we are there because we will be back at 10:30 pm and left at about 2 pm... I'm thinking that we could eat at a pizza place... you can see it here. "http://www.waterfrontexeter.co.uk/index.htm"
  • Jul 15, 2009, 11:41 AM
    Torrid13
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou View Post
    Ok. im hoping but i have to ask right. right? what do i say? we have to get something to eat whilst we are there because we will be back at 10:30 pm and left at about 2 pm... im thinking that we could eat at a pizza place... you can see it here. "http://www.waterfrontexeter.co.uk/index.htm"

    Asking is the only way you'll know for sure where she stands with you in the romantic sense. You could wait until she says something to you, but there's no sense of waiting for what could be a very long time. So yes, asking, not hoping, will get you where you want to be the fastest.

    You could say, "Hey _____, would you like to make our upcoming movie night a date?" or "Would you like to go on a date with me?" or "I was wondering if you would be interested in seeing this movie with me as my date instead of just my friend."

    There's many different ways you could ask her! If she says yes, then HUZZAH! Congratulations! If not, don't get down on yourself! It's better to know than spend months or years wondering if she has feelings for you. You can do it!

    Good luck!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 12:08 PM
    NallaNeedsYou

    :) right OK.. that's given me an idea... um "Haha, does this count as my first date then? :P" or something in a text maybe. God... thank you for the help. :D any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated

    Instead of does this count as MY first date, how about does this count as A first date? Is it too much to imply I would like to go for another date? :cool:

    Editing again... um well if I am supposed to be confident then I'm showing her she is going to want to go again by insinuating. And it talks a little about US. Rather than me, that would make me seem selfish and arrogant.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 12:16 PM
    HelpinHere

    Hmm... here's advice. Whether it is a date or not, don't worry too much. I know plenty of people haven't had dates until they are much older than you. I personally had my first "date" at your age, and didn't have my first real kiss until I was one year older.

    I know, I can tell you all I want, but it can't change what will happen. Just have confidence in yourself. You'll do fine!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 03:33 PM
    NallaNeedsYou

    Hmm twist in the story line... just got a txt saying she is well but she has seen the film already! :O so... I asked whether she still wanted to go see something or not... awaiting reply nervously
    :(
  • Jul 15, 2009, 03:35 PM
    Torrid13
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou View Post
    Hmm twist in the story line... just got a txt sayin she is well but she has seen the film already! :O so... i asked whether she still wanted to go see something or not... awaiting reply nervously
    :(

    I'm crossing my fingers for you, buddy!

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