Ask Me Help Desk - My mother is taking over my life!

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Originally Posted by young lady

I know ladyofdarkness personally, and she does NOT have a tat, she has her ears pierced in which she wears stylish earrings, she watches the style channel and follows the latest trends, her mother is her best friend, (I'm next) though it may not sound like it, she was trying to hide those facts. She is indeed goth, and goody2shoes, it's quite funny, and you wouldn't think it's possible right? Think again! And she's only emo when something bad happened. She's a fun person to be around, and lovable. Her mother and her have trust, but her mother just feels she has certain rights, because she's 56, and her daughter is 13, her mother thinks she knows more.

How can one be goth and follow the latest trends at the same time. I'm not arguing the goodytwoshoes point but goth is not about trends or what's popular.

Hi after reading your ? Just thought id say I'm the mother of a 15 yr old emo daughter myself ,her moods go from one extreme to the other and would just like to say that its an important part of life to live and learn .my mother allowed me and all 3 other siblings to make our own way in life and that she insisted that included making our own mistakes and learning from them, how else do we progress into young strong willed adults? My daughter can do what she likes within reason [as long as she does not neglect her school work]and if that includes wearing black lipstick and being a goth or a vampire or whatever takes her fancy I let her carry on and when she needs me I'm there with all the love and support I can offer her. We were all teenagers once and your mum needs to learn to give a certain amount of trust and respect otherwise she will not get it in return all teenagers grow up and all their fads are normally left behind them, along with the embarrassing pics that will make them cringe in years to come lol ,so come on mum of lady of darkness you were young once let her get on with it and be there when she needs you That's WHAT BEING A MUM IS ALL ABOUT.

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Originally Posted by LadyofDarkness

my mother is taking over my life! she checks my email, tries to log into my aim, listens in on my phone calls, and reads everything I write! not to mention she looks for any inappropriate flaws in my wadrobe every day! she gives me the 5 times over then approves, if she finds one flaw she yells at me! I recently discovered something about myself of which I don't think I'll mention, (don't worry I'm NOT pregnant) and if she finds out she'll freak! how do I hide it? and how do I tell her she's going to far?! somebody help me!

I know exactly how you feel my dad does the same thing! He reads everything from my diary, text, myspace, everything he can get his hands on. I just learned to prove him wrong before he can do to me. They only do it cause they feel it's their job as a parent. All you have to do is tell them its hurting you inside.

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Originally Posted by B-Luv

I know exactly how you feel my dad does the exact same thing! He reads everything from my diary, text, myspace, everything he can get his hands on. I just learned to prove him wrong before he can do to me. They only do it cause they feel its their job as a parent. All you have to do is tell them its hurting you inside.

You are right that parents only do it cause they feel it's their job as a parent but also cause they love and want to protect their children but still this is no excuse for invasion of privacy, children need their secrets too and this is going to far in my book , b-luv you need to speak with your dad and explain that you are entitled to a certain amount of privacy yourself and that anything you need him to know you will tell him yourself,and also you kids have to learn to go to your parents if you have problems and speak to them 9 times out of 10 parents can help you ,REMEMBER THEY HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE IT SO THEY KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH AND EVAN THOUGH THEY Won't ALWAYS HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS THEY WILL BE THERE AT THE READY WITH THE CUDDLES AND COMPASSION TO HELP YOU THROUGH,REMEMBER ALL PARENTS GET DISSAPOINTED AND ANGRY AT TIMES BUT THIS ONLY LASTS A FEW MINUITES ONCE THEY KNOW THEIR KIDS NEED THEM.

Who said parents are perfect? Who said kids are?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Who said parents are perfect? Who said kids are?

That's exactly the point I am trying to get across no 1 is perfect we all live and learn as we make our way through life.

Looks like your mum doesn't have enough confidence, so you ened to start building up the confidence part. She should be able to trusty you, so behave in a away to earn that trust.
She herself will stop wanting to pry into your emails and you can change the passwords.
Also try and takeup some assertiveness class somewhere, some toasmasters club what anyone says or does or yells should not affect you.
Just know that she might be just too worried about you and it is you who has to ensure that you don't do something to cause such a reaction.
This will take some time to happen.. but you have to work on it.