HI, all,
This original question is 3 years old!

Here's the way I, as a teenage guy, look at it.

Hypothetically, if I asked you to dinner, then I would expect to pay for it all. However, if you ask me I would expect to pay for myself, unless it was something we had arranged like, anniversary, Valentines, etc.

You could always suggest going 'dutch' which means each of you pay your own. This keeps the ball in your own court.

Do you know what? I feel exactly the same I try and pay equally on dates and buy men drinks back once they have offered me but they usually just turn around and say 'oh don't be silly' and then my tight student purse strings take over and I give in.

I have had this converstation with many of my male friends and they seem to think its acceptable so just go with it I do.

Offer to pay for it but don't make a scene about it when in doubt if someone offers to pay take it:]

If you wish to exert your financial indepence you can always suggest a date yourself at a nice restaurant/theater... and let the person know that it's on you.

I pay for all of the dinners when I take my girlfriend out and she makes more money than me right now. I don't do it to "prove my financial capabilities." I do it because I want to treat the specail girl in my life. Like the last person said, is he doing anything bad? Or just good? Think about it... sounds like you have a nice boy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kellycheung

Dear expert:
Recently, I am kind of disturbed and contradicted. As I am a woman, of course, I do want 100% equality in job opportunities and other areas of life as well. However, I am not totally sure if it is right that for me to get benefits of traditional courtship, like being treated for dinners, or should I fight for the check, pay for it to prove my financial viability???
From a doubtful Asian woman

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She didn't actually say that she's with someone, so try not to assume things.

Kellycheung, it is absolutely all right to receive equal benefits in areas other than job opportunities.

Many men pay for the bill because they like to do it, it makes them feel like they are taking care of you, and it's a nice gesture. It's not something they do to make you feel badly by any means.
If you would like to prove your financial viability, you could offer to pay for dinner one night if he will pay for it the next. You could also split the cost of the bill so that both you pay equally.

If he wants to pay for dinner I would take it as a compliment and try not to overthink it.

Don't mess in your mind about what social customs and etiquette ask you..
Be a part of the flow not against the flow ,while you date!
Enjoy the company of someone rather than worrying too much on matters of the way of the world.