Ask Me Help Desk - My Girlfriend of a year and a half.she wants a "break".

You know, this has shown me the person she REALLY is. She is now leaving messages on bebo to her friends about her ex-boyfriend (before me) and saying stuff like "when you phoned me the other night I was half concentrating on you and the other half looking and concentrating on him"...

I have told her it's over and moving on with my life. Thanks everybody for your great advice, especially Chuff who has woken me up. Can't wait for her to come running back so I can tell her exactly what I think of her.

Now she is putting pictures with her and her ex-boyfriend on her bebo that were taken lately.. I know I should be getting on with things but this is really, truly hurting me.

Its supposed to, now get off the bebo or whatever it is. She is no dummy she can't get you one way she can get you another.

But I haven't done anything to her.. why is she treating me like this? I expected to be treated like this by my worst enemey.. not the girl that said she loved me..

It's a thin line between love and hate. Without the dazzle of love in your eyes, you will see the ex as you never have before.

OK dude, u need get away from her altogether, get of bebo, forget about her. My friends been going with his girl friend for 1 year now.. and if the similar thing happened, I'd tell him to spread all the crap about her-secrets etc. that she doesn't want people to know. But if your like me.. then take it on the chin and say "ye well, its her loss at the end of the day. And, Im a way better person that she can ever be". :)

I would understand it if I had done something to her but I was still nice to her when she asked for a break...

I thought by avoiding her for 3 days in a row she would have text me by now to see if I was OK or to say sorry or something.. all she wants to do is hurt me more.

Then (sorry for the language) she's a cow. Ever wondered why she broke it off? You may have been to soft and she was playing you. You seem like a really nice person and, tp finish it off, I'd just speak to her. Ask her 1, What's your game 2, What's the point 3, Why you been a cow 4, I feel sorry for you.. you just lost the perosn who cared for you the most 5, Good bye!

Well I don't know if she knows that I've broke it off completely so should I send her a text or phone her just to say it's over completely?

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I would understand it if I had done something to her but I was still nice to her when she asked for a break...

Of course you don't understand, you're a nice guy with a not so nice ex, watch and see her true nature, and learn that females can be so sweet, but cross them and they will have you for lunch.

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Originally Posted by DazzaB

Well I don't know if she knows that I've broke it off completely so should I send her a text or phone her just to say it's over completely?

NO CONTACT:eek:

Yeah, you're right. So where from here?

No, give her a surprise visit instead, that'll spook her and tell her straigh, it'll show you have courage and if you stand up for yourself and stop communicating with her, I'm sure she might consider stop teasing you about it all. Good luck.;)

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Originally Posted by DazzaB

Yeah, you're right. So where from here?

Sky is the limit. Write your own plan and don't look back.:D You have nothing to prove to anyone.

Ok, well in the next month.. I'll have started a new college, have a new job, be starting to drive.. I'm sure I'll get over her. I just have to keep positive.

Yeeeee man, that's positive thinking :) You have (like me) so much more important stuff other than girls at the moment and you need ficus on them, then girls.

You're right and I'm surprising myself about how well I'm doing without her. Going on holidays next week with 4 or 5 of my friends, can't wait!

Grrr! My friend now sent her an email to tell her what he thinks of her...

He hasn't helped anything by doing this! Now she'll know that I've been badmouthing her to my friends..

I know that you don't want to hear this, but she is completely right. You both are so young, and the fact that you lasted more than a few weeks is huge. Its so hard to stay together with someone for that long, no matter how old you are and at your age, its so much harder. Just because you don't want a break doesn't mean that she shouldn't. You are most likely her first real boyfriend, and she wants to know who else is out there. This is completely natural and expected.

You have two options here. Either you say no, or you let her do what she wants. If you say no to her request, there is no chance you two will last. If she wants this enough to bring it up twice, its only a matter of time until she doesn't want a break -- she will want a breakup. Or, she might not break up with you, but instead turn to cheating. If you decide to take a little break, your chances of staying together are a thousand times better. She will either realize that there is no one else that she likes more, or she will find someone better. But letting her take a break is the only way you have a chance of ever staying with her for much longer.

Try not to be too hurt by this. The only way you will be able to stop thinking about her is to remove her name from your phone, move all pictures, and hide everything that has to do with her and just stop yourself from talking to her until she is ready. Buy a diary and every time you want to talk to her, write in the diary instead as if you are talking to her. If she does decide to go back with you, you can even give it to her to read. If you do this, she will realize that you respect her enough to leave her alone for a while.

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Originally Posted by DazzaB

Now, she wants a break to see what she's missing.. I don't care what any of you say, she DOES care about me. She sees me every day and she has got so used to us being together that she is now taking me for granted. She didn't dump me, because when I told her we're better off breaking up completely, she didn't want to.. she says that we'll be better than ever when we're both ready (I also told her that I was taking her for granted too)...

I did that once. I dumped a guy I HATED, but he was so attached to me. It was for another guy, who I am happily dating right now for over a year and a half. I told him that I still loved him, but being in college was too hard with him and I wanted to look elsewhere for a while. I called him every night, I saw him as often as possible, we still went out to dinner and everything. Why did I do that? BECAUSE HE WAS OBSESSED WITH ME - JUST AS OBSESSED AS YOU! If I didn't think he would go insane without me, I would have dumped him and never looked back. I pitied him, so I wasted months of my life pretending to not hate him just so that he wouldn't freak out. And even though I slowly started breaking it off, when I gave him the news he tried to kill himself. The more obsessed you are, the more likely she is to keep you around just so you don't try something stupid. If she really cared about you, she wouldn't accept you not replying to anything she says. She would say something along the lines of "Hey, we aren't broken up, please reply to me if you still love me."