Ask Me Help Desk - How can I possibly get her back

You know at first you are upset because you thought your girlfriend believed something someone told her, and now you're saying you are believing something someone told you.
This is what you need to do. Leave her alone until she contacts you. The why, at this point is immaterial. She will either contact you or she won't. It's her choice.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You know at first you are upset because you thought your girlfriend believed something someone told her, and now you're saying you are believing something someone told you.
This is what you need to do. Leave her alone until she contacts you. The why, at this point is immaterial. She will either contact you or she won't. It's her choice.

That's what I thought at first and then I just had it mixed up in my head because I was just thinking to hard and I don't have to believe what someone said because I for one saw it for myself.. And OK but I would think he would because we have been through so much and I know her and I know she wouldn't be done like that and or throwing everything away just like that... So yeah I'm going to wait.

Good.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

good.

Yeah.. Could she be thinking about me just like I'm thinking about her?

I don't know. She could be.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I don't know. She could be.

Because when we last talked which was yesterday. She said that she was still crying and still has everything I gave her.

I don't know. I would imagine this whole thing is stressful. And isn't she recovering from surgery? She does not need any of this drama

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I don't know. I would imagine this whole thing is stressful. And isn't she recovering from surgery? She does not need any of this drama

Ya she can't really do much plus she can't be in the sun for a long time due to her health issues.. She's suppose to be at the hospital but she's at her cousins house instead and the nurses don't even know where or know why she not there.

How do you know this?

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

How do you know this?

My girlfriend told me. Plus my friend that goes to see my girlfriend asked me why she not there and telling me that the nurses don't even know why she hasn't came back

Well the nurses would not be having a conversation with your friend about her any way. That is not allowed.
You need to just stop listening to things and wait until she contacts you again.
What was wrong with her?

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Well the nurses would not be having a conversation with your friend about her any way. That is not allowed.
You need to just stop listening to things and wait until she contacts you again.
What was wrong with her?

She had a stomach alsure and they took it out of her and plus before, she was passing out a lot and unconscious a lot. She has a lot of health issues and that's why she is suppose to be at the hospital.. and that girl telling my girlfriend things that weren't true didn't help at all and it made her think about it and alexis got into her head.. she doesn't need that drama.. and my girlfriend knows that I didn't say that and I have proof on Facebook that I never told my friend to tell alexis that I don't want her and that she doesn't make me happy and that I have other girls to mess around with.. plus my girlfriend was already upset because she couldn't see me and that caused stuff as well when she told me over the phone that we can never get to see each other and stuff and I even told her that we do and that she needed to be patient about everything going on because she was in the hospital and I understood that she was and I wasn't even mad about that at all. I was there for her time and need and then she said that she thought she was holding me back from everything and friends and I even told her that she wasn't. So she's really stressed about what alexis told her but I told her myself how I felt about her and she is just seeming like she stressed and stuck..

She needs to stop listening to gossip and just concentrate on getting better. Dating and be stressful. She could need a break.
You need to stop thinking about all of this so much. It does you no good either.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

She needs to stop listening to gossip and just concentrate on getting better. Dating and be stressful. She could need a break.
You need to stop thinking about all of this so much. It does you no good either.

OK what you think I could do to not think about it so much?

Do you have friends, a hobby, a job? Stay busy. Stop listening to people who want to talk about her. Tell them you don't want to hear it.
It's summer. Get out and have some fun.. . and don't check her facbook page if she has one.

Yeah but I know she feels down and stuff and probably thinking about me and plus she can't do much of anything in the condition she's in right now and she doesn't have a Facebook..

What does that have to do with your getting out and doing something beside stewing over what she may or may not be doing?
She will be fine.

But I know she's hurting just like I am..

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

What does that have to do with your getting out and doing something beside stewing over what she may or may not be doing?
She will be fine.

But I know she's hurting just like I am..

There is nothing you can do for her if she is, but you can get out and not sit around moping. That is if you really want to.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

There is nothing you can do for her if she is, but you can get out and not sit around moping. That is if you really want to.

I will go out its just that it won't mean that I'm better and happy

I'm not saying you will be happy, I'm saying it will help you get through this. So do you want your girl friend to know that you are miserable? Do you think that will make her feel better?
I'm assuming it won't.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I'm not saying you will be happy, I'm saying it will help you get through this. So do you want your girl friend to know that you are miserable? Do you think that will make her feel better?
I'm assuming it won't.

She already knows I'm sad and I know she sad too.. And I'm trying, I'm trying it's just hard and you should understand what I'm going through I hope..

I know it's hard but I also know mopping around changes nothing. Make better use of this time

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I know it's hard but I also know mopping around changes nothing. Make better use of this time

I'm trying my best.. I really am

Well leave the subject alone for today. Go out to a movie, read book, something to get your mind off this.
I will be here tomorrow if you need me.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Well leave the subject alone for today. Go out to a movie, read book, something to get your mind off this.
I will be here tomorrow if you need me.

Ok thanks so much. I'll send you a message tomorrow

Have a good evening

Ok so yesterday I went to one of my friends birthday dinner at a restaurant and then we all drove to the beach to hang out then went home.. It was good but yet at the end of the day, I think about her and ever since this incident started, I have had that feeling in my stomach you know? Just won't go away.

Anyone there?

I'm glad that you went out.
I can understand your feeling that way. You will have them less and less. Just keep yourself busy

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I'm glad that you went out.
I can understand your feeling that way. You will have them less and less. Just keep yourself busy

I know but it's not going to mean I'm happy

You could be relatively so if you want to be. I think you want to be miserable.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You could be relatively so if you want to be. I think you want to be miserable.

What do u mean by that? I'm just asking.

I think you believe that being miserable proves your love for this girl. It's like you're saying to her "see how miserable I am, I love you" It proves nothing and drags you down. Miserable people are not fun people to be around. You get comfortable in your misery and you stay there.
I think you need to shake this off, have fun and live your life as if she may not call you. If she does great, if she doesn't you are on your way to moving on.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I think you believe that being miserable proves your love for this girl. It's like you're saying to her "see how miserable I am, I love you" It proves nothing and drags you down. Miserable people are not fun people to be around. You get comfortable in your misery and you stay there.
I think you need to shake this off, have fun and live your life as if she may not call you. If she does great, if she doesn't you are on your way to moving on.

I'm not trying to be miserable just hard

What do you mean just hard?

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

What do you mean just hard?

Like this whole situation is hard and all I want to do is talk about it and make things right and better

Talking about it is not going to change it. You need to prepare yourself for the worse( she may not call you back) You can't make things happen in this case. Stop talking so much about this, dwelling on this. It changes nothing

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Talking about it is not going to change it. You need to prepare yourself for the worse( she may not call you back) You can't make things happen in this case. Stop talking so much about this, dwelling on this. It changes nothing

I know she's not going to right now because of everything going on right now