Quote:

---

You're all just s, you don't understand how I actually feel. Nobody ing does.. I'm just alone like always :'(

---

No, the problem is not that we do not understand how you feel, its just that we don't have those same feelings clouding our judgement.

We do care how you feel, we are just trying to help you not make a mistake that will effect you for the rest of your life.

Instant gratification is not the route to take with such a large thing. That's why I am telling you to throw yourself into making a plan. If you need some place to put these desire and attentions then absorb yourself into learning what you can! Motivate yourself to get an after school job or do odd jobs to save up the money by thinking "This is one more step towards my baby!" Everything you take the time to learn will be make you be able to be a better mom. Think of it as a long term project. Like I said, there are numerous free pregnancy and parenting magazines out there. Everything you learn will be for the baby plus you can have them to look back on once the baby is a reality.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Annonimus

You're all just s, you don't understand how i actually feel. Nobody ing does.. I'm just alone like always :'(

---

No your not alone, just young, and have a lot to deal with, but we as parents would be doing you a big disservice, if we didn't try to tell you the truth. Something to think about, and most of us have had this conversation, when we were your age, from adults who cared enough to share their opinions. I have no doubt your mom has talked to you about this too, most moms do. As you see, the moms here don't hesitate, the dads either.

We care, not about you being mad about what was written, but about you knowing the facts, to go along with the fantasy all females have. (guys too, just to keep it real)

I think the most important thing to stress here is that babies do not love unconditionally.
That children while they may love you when they are raised in a healthy, stable home... will only resent you when you can not provide for their needs, which are numerous.
That a fourteen year old boy can tell you that he wants a baby, but he won't stay by you to care for a baby.
Your wants and desires are changing tremendously at fourteen.

You speak of no one understanding your feelings, a baby isn't going to care about your feelings either.
You have to care about your own feelings.
Teenage years are difficult. Everyone is trying to decide who they are and are developing who they will become. Trying to show maturity by being independent, yet you aren't independent, you still need your parents... ensuring that you are not capable and ready to be a parent.
If your parents were gone tomorrow, I doubt that you could even care for yourself, let alone have another dependent upon you.

Of COURSE I understand how you feel.

I want a baby pretty badly, myself--and have been trying for 10 years to have one. I KNOW what that ache is like.

I ALSO got pregnant as a teenager. It's not as easy as you think it is--and I didn't even raise my child, I chose adoption for her BECAUSE I couldn't give her all of the things a baby needs.

I have ALSO dealt with depression--which is pretty crappy all by itself.

I PROMISE you that if you take care of the depression and get counseling, your outlook would change, and you'd not want a baby AS badly.

Well let me tell yuh the experience I had I got pregnant at 17 and now I have a lilttle boy and its wonderful having a baby but it's the hardest thing being a parent take it frm a teenager I had to drop out of school its hard to work unless you have a babysitter having a child is a blessing and a curse but its better to wait and finishe school get a good job and focus on your future before you think about a child in your life:D

IT's easy to have a baby, but it's certainly not easy to be a parent. You're a kid yourself!

Check out this post.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...-385859-2.html

You are not alone, your feelings are pretty normal actually, but you can't act impulsively on them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by J_9

She doesn't understand that a baby won't love her though. Babies aren't capable of love for a few years.

---

I know the reality of parenting. I agree with you.I know that babies are incapable of anything but self love.

I see that she is misinformed and thinks that she can fill a void in her life with a baby.

I was merely stating that it is sad to think of a child feeling such a lack of love in her life that she mistakingly believes a child will provide that.

If she were my daughter and didn't come to me when she was feeling so alone,I would feel like I had failed my child in some way.

I'm not saying I am going to HAVE a baby.. I asked you all why. Now you're like DON'T HAVE ONE, I didn't say I was going to do it. It wanted to know the reasons I wanted a baby. Also my mum hasn't failed me, I'm very akward when it comes to my feelings, my boyfriend is the only one I can open up too. My mum has got nothing to do with this.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Annonimus

my mum has got nothing to do with this.

---

You have everything to do with this.
As everyone has tried to telling you, you are unhappy with your life, you are at an awkward age but you have to build your self-confidence and you have to seek help for your feelings of depression.

I know I've got everything to do with this, I'm saying my mum has got nothing to do with this, you're all calling her saying she's a bad mum when she's not. She's raised me up best she can, just because I have problems doesn't mean she is to blame for it!

Quote:

---

I wanted to know the reasons I wanted a baby.

---

Because at your age you want to give love, and be loved. A baby is a way to do that, you think, because you don't have any other experience to draw from.

Quote:

---

Also my mum hasn't failed me, I'm very awkward when it comes to my feelings,

---

Your learning though how to express yourself, and should be able to talk to your mom as you grow. This is normal with kids your age. Its also normal that parents have a hard time discussing these sorts of things with their daughters, but after a while, it develops, just do your part, and share your thoughts with your mom.

Quote:

---

My boyfriend is the only one I can open up too. My mum has got nothing to do with this.

---

I don't agree at all, but you have put your boyfriend, who is as inexperienced as you are, above your mom. You can change that by talking to her, and getting some good feedback, that will help you see how things work, in life.

Not trying to be harsh, none of us here are, just trying to help you see what a bigger, more clearer picture is about, to set you on a better path..

Annonimus. I see that you're getting upset by what we're saying, but we're only telling you these things because we care.

When you have a child of your own you'll have to deal with issues like these, they don't stay babies forever.

Being a teen is hard. You may not believe this, but we all remember our teen years, we all lived through it. We know how hard it is to be a teen, and that's why we're giving you the advice we're giving you.

Many of the people on this site were teen moms, they know what it takes, how hard it is. Yes, they love the children that they brought into this world, but I bet every single one of them would say that they wish they'd have waited.

If you do this you will regret it, I guarantee it. Your entire life will change, forever!

You're 14, there are so many things you still have to learn. How can you expect to teach someone when you haven't learned everything yourself?

You want a baby for all the wrong reasons, to fill a void, to give you love, that's a very selfish reason to have a child.

Why not babysit? If you love kids so much then find some babysitting jobs so you can spend some time with children.

Really, think about this, read what we've written, realize that we're not trying to hurt you, we're trying to help you.

If you were my daughter I'd be saying the same things.

Just think about it. Okay?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Many of the people on this site were teen moms, they know what it takes, how hard it is. Yes, they love the children that they brought into this world, but I bet every single one of them would say that they wish they'd have waited.

---

Not only do I wish I had waited, I wish that I didn't harbor a resentment to a child that had no choice in their birth.
Everyday I look at my mistake, whom I love with all my heart, yet know that I resent what I gave up for my own mistake. My child is my reminder of that everyday. What I could have done, where I could have been, the nights that I can't afford the simpliest of wants, the days that he calls me home from work and I risk my job for his needs.
Being a parent is a difficult job, it's that much more difficult when you hate your own subconscious feelings.

God give the girl a break I'm 14 and I've wanted a baby since I was 9 I know just how she feels so piss off

Nothing wrong with wanting, as long as you don't do something crazy like have one, until you have the wisdom to be a good mother, and that will take a good amount of time.

That's the only break either of you gets. So I hope you listen, and consider before making a big mistake so soon in your young lives.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Annonimus

And actually tell me why i want a baby.

---

Here's why you want to have a baby: Your body is changing and has been changing since you were maybe 9 or so. A hormone called estrogen is very active in your body now. It has started your period, has made your breasts begin to fill out, and it has caused hair to grow in various places on your body. Also, these physical things are your body at work getting ready to make a baby.

You are changing emotionally too. Your thoughts are changing; you think about boys now and want to read about fashions and make-up and how to attract those boys. You daydream about boys and probably even dream about them at night. Also, you think about babies a lot and love to hold them -- to feel them snuggle a bit in your arms and look at you and smile and coo. The best babysitters are responsible 14 y/o girls, because they love babies and little children, play with them, don't mind changing diapers, and enjoy being with them (instead of snacking and watching TV while the kids run amok in another room).

You are perfectly normal. Nearly all girls your age love babies and want to be moms. Centuries ago, girls DID get married around your age and start having babies. Those girls weren't educated much or at all, stayed at home raising children, and didn't have much of a life. Modern society has girls' best interests at heart and insists girls go to school, even to college, and start a career and get a life before they even think about getting married and starting a family.

The marriage is the important thing mostly because it says a mature man has agreed to be with a mature you 24/7 and help raise any children you have together. That's the best and most productive type of family in 2010 -- a stable one. Then the young married couple's parents and the government usually don't have to step in to help out financially. And the parents of the young couple want to live their own lives and retire and ride off into the sunset without worrying about their children or having to help raise their grandchildren.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by retrorainbow

God give the girl a break im 14 and iv wanted a baby since i was 9 i know just how she feels so piss off

---

Your posting to a 6 month old post. Also we don't tell others what to say on here. So drop the attitude if you want to stay on the boards.

closed