Well that's what spoiling means.Quote:
Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy
Now I agree.
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Well that's what spoiling means.Quote:
Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy
Now I agree.
Oh... try not to get too nervous. I know it's your first date with a smoking hot babe, but remember she will be nervous too. The best thing to counter act that is to remember, you have nothing to lose, don't expect anything, and she WANTS to be in your company. Light humor is great way to relief the tension.
Good Luck!
Honestly, the fact you came up with the idea of meeting her and taking the bus with her means that you'll do just fine the rest of the date. I'd never have thought of that and I got to say it is really quite nice to hear you put that much thought into her comfort level.
Or maybe I'm just a jerk:)
You'll do fine.
Im hoping not to have problems on the gentleman level. But to be honest she isn't unnaturaly mature but she accepts me and likes me as a person so to me she is something very dear that to lose would hurt me a lot. I don't have the comfort of friends to fall on if... best not to think about it. Money wise I have worked out for the day it will cost at the very most £70 which isn't bad at all. I don't spend my money often so it normally stacks up but that includes 2 meals at a nice Pizza restaurant at the waterside. (too much?) Im glad you think getting on the bus is a good idea because I think she will be more likely to actually go if I am there with her. And we are 14 and no matter how sweet I think it would be to get her flowers I'm not sure she is seeing this as a date. I need to speak to her and safely hint as it more than going to see a film in town. I don't know what to say or what to expect the day was mentioned whilst talking and we haven't spoken of it in depth yet. If I had asked if she would like to go on a date then I would feel different but because its not clear if she would go on a date with me if I was to call it that I'm catching myself a bit. Yes, I know. Its not good to start a day out not really knowing what you want from it but this is the closest I have ever got to well, you know, a kiss even. How funny. :( OK so the difficult bit, how do I show that I want the day to be special without making her feel bad if she says she just wants to watch the film? How do I do it so its less seriouse than a date but more than a day with a friend? I think I have given the impression that I'm confident that she likes me enough to go through but really I'm a wreck but I don't want her to get upset or feel guilty. It's a hard one :(
Actually reading your posts again. I'm sure she doesn't know this is a date. Um cheeky idea let her find out herself? (then if it goes horribly wrong I go off on the whole first time out with a friend and didn't know what to do thing :P)
Ride with her to the movies or not her is what will when her over is a the end of the date,this is very important.
RIDE BACK WITH HER.its your job she gets home safely.and if she lives a block from the bus stop get out and walk her to her door nothing less will do.if the date goes good and you do this she will know you have her safety in mind.
At 14, you are still growing and learning. Just have fun with her. Treat this like you are going out with a friend. Let things naturally progress and if it feels right then it should all work out.
I got return tickets... not entirely sure with the idea of letting it happen :S I'm not confident and I would be surprised if she understood me
Don't force anything. Just go with the flow and have a good time without worrying about this or that. Don't over think the situation. You'll end up working yourself up over nothing. Look at this as an opportunity to get to know more about this girl and for her to get to know more about you.
EDIT: Look at this as an outing between you and a friend.
Wait... I'm confused.
She doesn't know this is a date? But you're taking her on a date and hoping to surprise her? Why don't you just ask her? I'm not sure a "surprise" date is the way to go, especially since you're not sure if she even likes you.
I wouldn't worry about the details of the night (which is looks like you're on the right track anyway) until you KNOW it's a date! Ask her! Don't surprise her!
It would be super awkward if she thought you were just going as friends (because she just wants to be friends) and then you're like "WOO DATE!" Eck. Awkward turtle.
Just ask her.
Yes, if you are going on a "date-date" then it would be a good idea to ride with her.
Does she like the whole "café scene?"
If you're paying, and you prefer quality, go for the more expensive. Unless she has a particular reason to prefer the cheap one, it's a better move.
How long does she have to stay out? Can you make it to the expensive Cinema + Dinner afterwards, or would she get into trouble for being out too late? (or you)
What does she prefer? You don't want to be calling all of the shots, because if you start a relationship, then she may become resentful that you aren't letting her have any decisions.
Good Luck!
I know, the first date is always the hardest! (especially the FIRST first date)
PS: I'm taking my girlfriend to the new HP movie too! XD
Sorry, but only dead fish go with the flow. You need to make a path for yourself, or else you will be just like everyone else out there. Just by how much I know you off these threads, I know you aren't that kind of guy.Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
Also, if she doesn't KNOW it is a date, she needs to know. It's never a good idea to be confused about the date vs hang-out thing, and it only leads to confusion and akwardness. If she doesn't want to make it a date, you are still welcome to take her, and what you do may just change her mind.
Hmmm. Thought that might happen :( yes I know, I knew before I said anything but I hoped against hope. She has her phone off which gives me time to decide to scrap my idea of a date and go as friends or figure out a way of getting it to be more than hanging out. Maybe using the same advice you have given me because what is she going to lose? What's the worse that could happen? I want to make it clear what's happening but I don't know how, I'm trying to pull crystal from the mud :( well we have time to watch the film and get a meal then catch the bus back. I have a game plan for something I'm not invited to yet, silly me. Sheesh god bless AMHD
Hey... all hope is not lost, okay? Remember what you told me on my question, "How to Make a Good Impression"? You told me to be confident and to love myself and that confidence is the key. You have to have confidence in yourself, too!Quote:
Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou
You never know until you ask her. You can do it! Don't get down on yourself yet! You seem to be a very kind and sweet young man... even if she says no (which she would be crazy to do!) there are plenty of other girls that would love to go on a date with such a gentleman.
And you're young; if she says no (again, she'd be crazy) there's plenty more opportunities as you get older to ask girls out!
Good luck!
Ok. I'm hoping but I have to ask right. Right? What do I say? We have to get something to eat whilst we are there because we will be back at 10:30 pm and left at about 2 pm... I'm thinking that we could eat at a pizza place... you can see it here. "http://www.waterfrontexeter.co.uk/index.htm"
Asking is the only way you'll know for sure where she stands with you in the romantic sense. You could wait until she says something to you, but there's no sense of waiting for what could be a very long time. So yes, asking, not hoping, will get you where you want to be the fastest.Quote:
Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou
You could say, "Hey _____, would you like to make our upcoming movie night a date?" or "Would you like to go on a date with me?" or "I was wondering if you would be interested in seeing this movie with me as my date instead of just my friend."
There's many different ways you could ask her! If she says yes, then HUZZAH! Congratulations! If not, don't get down on yourself! It's better to know than spend months or years wondering if she has feelings for you. You can do it!
Good luck!
:) right OK.. that's given me an idea... um "Haha, does this count as my first date then? :P" or something in a text maybe. God... thank you for the help. :D any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated
Instead of does this count as MY first date, how about does this count as A first date? Is it too much to imply I would like to go for another date? :cool:
Editing again... um well if I am supposed to be confident then I'm showing her she is going to want to go again by insinuating. And it talks a little about US. Rather than me, that would make me seem selfish and arrogant.
Hmm... here's advice. Whether it is a date or not, don't worry too much. I know plenty of people haven't had dates until they are much older than you. I personally had my first "date" at your age, and didn't have my first real kiss until I was one year older.
I know, I can tell you all I want, but it can't change what will happen. Just have confidence in yourself. You'll do fine!
Hmm twist in the story line... just got a txt saying she is well but she has seen the film already! :O so... I asked whether she still wanted to go see something or not... awaiting reply nervously
:(
I'm crossing my fingers for you, buddy!Quote:
Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou
Sadly I don't think this is a matter of luck although I like the odds of heads or tails, its probably better than what I have going for me lol. Empty pit in stomach, must get chocolat bar!
Ok got a reply this morning. She still wants to go and see harry potter with me :) and we are arranging a time, just need to wait for her to charge her phone :S she said when she went to the cinema it was amazing, "best eva" but then she added " well, so far lol x" which is good! I think :P she seems positive about us going but I'm going to wait till she comes back from holiday and we can talk on MSN about it being a date. I'm not looking forward to it :(
Why? Approach this thing with a positive attitude and confidence. If not, she will see right through you and it will hurt your chances.
You have nothing to lose!
Apart from a friend. Yes I suppose I must be positive. I will be fine when it comes to it, she makes me so relaxed and I find it easy to talk to her. All will be well no matter what the outcome.
Ok... we are going to talk on Saturday, what am I supposed to say if she turns really negative about us going? And more importantly what am I supposed to do if she wants to make it a date? Lol I'm hopeless, almost. She tries to get it into my head that she likes me, at least a little, and she gets stropy if I mention me not believing her likeing me. I can't help myself it gives me a really warm feeling that someone actually appreciates me and I'm hooked. Im so lost
Well, have you ever been to the movies with friends before?
If so, then this will be really simple. Just hang out watching a movie like with a friend.
If she DOES want it to be a date, then yes, have fun, but no, don't treat her like she's just your friend. Speak to her in a softer tne. And, if you feel comfortable with it, put your arm around her. I wouldn't recommend trying too much, as this is your first date (if I'm following your posts correctly). If you both like the movie, there is something else you both have in common! Another plus for possibly building a relationship.
Just to let you know, I just got back from the new HP movie taking my girlfriend. She is a total nerd (not saying I'm not, =P) so she paid more attention to the movie than I expected. If your girl likes Harry Potter, chances are she'll do the same.
Warning: There is one good jump scene in it. If you've read the book, you'll be expecting it, but it still may get you. (It got both of us)
Wicked :D ill look out for that! I have been to the movies once with a friend :S it was OK I geuse. It was actually the 4th Harry Potter film funnily enough. I get the jist of the actual day... its what to say after she says yes or no to the date idea, she won't want to hurt my feelings but she won't do it out of sympathy if you see what I mean. What do I say to her if she says yes or no? How do I remain calm about the yes (yeh right :P) or show her that just because she doesn't want to go on a date doesn't mean we can't be friends etc. she seems positive though from what I can glean from her text, she hinted (only slightly) that she was expecting a nice day out. I hope I understood her right... she said the last bit maybe to imply she wants to enjoy our time? I don't know really (best film trip eva, so far... stuff) maybe I'm being a little hasty lol, maybe she thinks its going to be great as friends :S god :( why is it always me! :P
I managed to contradict everything I said I one post. Great :( well this is me at my prime and I'm doing my best
Lol, stop worrying so much!
Well, (IF it is as just friends) just be all like "Woah, that was cool!" or maybe "Wonder how they did that?" depending on the mood of the scene.
(Ladies, don't hate me for this. Go read some of my other posts, I'm not sexist.)
If it's NOT a date, treat her like an equal. True, you are there together, but you are not necessarily there for each other as much as to enjoy the movie. Make the night about the movie, instead of about her.
If it IS a date, treat her like it's a priveledge (sp?) to be there with her. You said you have the money, so ask her what SHE wants from the concession stand before buying anything. Let her choose where to sit in the theatre. Make sure (or at least hope) that she is enjoying the movie.
If she says "you pick" don't worry, simply say something like "I want candy, but you pick the type" or "Let's sit on the left side. Do you want to be closer or farther to the screen?"
It lets her know that you are giving her equal choice in the relationship, yet still able to make your own decisions.
Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine.
And, I'm sure it'll be her mistake if she doesn't want it to be a date, and she'll be glad it was if it is!
God you have no idea how much that helps... don't blame me if I memorize that or write it on a piece of paper lol. Ok... got it... in my head... all is well all is well all is well all is well all is well all is well all is well all is well. Right sorted. All is well all is well all is well all is well. Done I'm ready... now I just have to stay alive long enough to be able to speak to her :P good good all is well all is well all is well all is well. :S thanks... given me lots of ideas and pointers that I would have definantly overlooked. :D OK, ironic that I'm ready yet I have to wait till either I can ring her or Saturday evening lol :( all is well all is well all is well all is well :P
Hmm... do you realize you copy/pasted "all is well" 8, 4, 4, and 4 times?
Don't ask why I counted...
And, it's all good, lol.
You don't have to do what I suggested word for word. I was just giving examples. Do you like candy? I don't know, maybe YOU like popcorn better, so suggest that? Maybe you want to sit in the middle, or maybe the right side?
In fact, you don't have to do what I suggested at all. If you have any ideas of your own, do them. As far as my experience shows, girls like originality. So, if you can think up anything on your own to do Saturday evening, go ahead. It doesn't matter if it isn't the BEST thing you could do. She's already agreed to go with you, so you know she'll want to see the movie. It's your first date, so something is BOUND to go wrong. (sorry for the brutal honesty) If you mess up something small, it's better than messing up something big. Just make sure you're not late for the movie. It really sucks when that happens.
If you are going out to dinner afterwords... well, I'll let you figure that out on your own. You're a smart kid, you can handle it! I believe in you! :D
Nalla, I think you are seriously over analyzing the situation and psyching yourself out.
Chill...be cool. I wouldn't even stress the whole "is it a date?" issue. Just go out and have fun with the girl.
That's all you need to do is have fun with her. In return she will have a good time with you and everything will be fine.
Don't over think the situation. Don't think like the whole evening is ruined if you forget to do something, like getting the door, or whatever. All of that is trivial to the fact that she is still with you and going out to dinner and a movie.
JUST BE YOU! That's who she wants to hang out with when you are together... not the over thinking, trying to hard to be a gentleman, nervous nelly guy.
You got to be chill, be cool, and don't come off as too strong
Wow this is a lot of advise for one 14 year old to swallow.
I agree with jmw and amanwithnoname
RELAX
BE HONEST
BE YOURSELF
HAVE FUN
BE POLITE/GENTLEMEN
That's all you got to do!! Honestly!!
If you do that, everything will work out for the best!
Yeah... :( well... not everything going to plan lmao. Um talked to her last night till about 5 in the morning and manadged to make a complete mess of it :D then to make it worse I tried to sort it out, making her angry lol. SOOOoo :S the initial answer to the question that came out all wron was "we can't be more (than friends) coz you asked over txt, it wudnt work - different yrs and a lot of teasing (affects you badly), also i dont trust that you wont just up and leave like any other boy -wants more 2 soon. X" yeah... that's what I thought.. but suppose I got to learn the hard way but it's a shame I cocked up on the asking lmao. Right.. so when she is back from holiday I'm going to show her this thread so she can understand what I'm feeling etc. I just ask that you guys give her an indication of what you have learnt from me from my threads and posts. Thanks um... and Naomie... didn't mean for it to get so messy lol. Friday is going to be great if you kept me in a cage or put a brown paper bag over my head. :) Sorry I messed up guys lol... didn't I tell you?
At least I got the little bit that's bound to go wrong out the way lol :P hehe. Ill just sit and wait till... (IF) I have convinced her that I appreciate her as a friend more than anything. I hope you can see that it wasn't easy for me to come "out of the blue" and try my best no matter how much of a jerk you think I am lmao.
I think youl realice life is a whole lot sinpler and less dramatic with out there being girls in your life, your young and right now girlfreinds would be a bad idea
I don't think you should show her this thread.
In fact, I think it would make your situation worse. She'll think you're completely weird and creepy. Don't do it.
Okay, so she said you can't be more than friends---from reading her text, I don't think this is a bad thing. She didn't give you very good reasons of why you two can't take it further, which is expected because she is so young. Anyway, don't get down on yourself. It's seriously her loss.
PS. Don't show her this thread.
Please remember hon, that your both only 14. You are both not quite READY for serious 'love' relationships. Just be friends for now. A year or 2 down the road, if your still friends, then ask to date. You know?
I don't think you are ready because of this very thread. You seem SO SO SO stressed out and worried, it tells me your not ready.
Good luck hon.
Because you asked over text? I don't understand why that has anything to do with it, especially with your age and how most kids like you communicate.Quote:
Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou
Different years? I thought you said that you were both the same age?
Trust. THAT is the key factor. She doesn't trust you. Everything else she said was just excuses, not a real reason.
Right now, she only likes you as a friend. Like most girls her age who date, she has learned that most of the guys her age that date are complete jerks. Not all guys, just most. Until she learns that you're not the same, she won't see anything different if you try to be more than friends.
Building her trust will take time. At your age, if you are already interested in girls, you will most likely find another one to fall for before that happens.
Actually, go back and read. A lot of us said it's all right if you stay friends, don't worry if she says no, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou
I agree with torrid. Although it does show you don't want to use her, it doesn't mean that it will make her like you any more. I don't think she will call you a creep, because as you have seen, there are plenty of girls your age on this site too. However, it is never a good idea to let them learn how you think... sounds bad but it's true.
One of my girlfriends found this site, learned I was me... not good.
I'm not going to say "don't date, because you are not ready" because no one is ready. You don't need to follow the crowd, give in to peer pressure, or anything like that.
However, the longer you wait to do anything, the harder it will be.
You've already learned that it isn't the end of the world, if she doesn't say yes.
Are you still taking her to the movie as friends? Because, you the movie was Saturday, wasn't it?Quote:
Originally Posted by NallaNeedsYou
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