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Poor thing, all those feelings, and you just don't know what to do with them. We here are only trying to protect you from some serious hurt that's all. We all know your feelings are so intense that they are hard to control, but your letting them lead you downs some very dangerous paths.
Don't you have any big sisters to talk to or some friends your close to??
Do yourself and me a favor,find out this girls number (that he cheated on you with,or you suspect he did) and call her.
You can't trust your ex,so get the information from her.Ask her if it was true and it really did happen.If she's nice enough to you and interested in what you have to say.Do a three way call with him on the other line just them talking with you quiet
And see what he says to her.
You have to be certain though to not act hostile or mad at the girl (even if she knew he was your boyfriend... she was not committed to you) When you call her (if you do) act polite.
^ the calling way was how I confirmed my ex cheating on me.And how I finally moved on.
I'm an only child and I don't talk to my friends beuase I lost them because I never bovered with them when I met my boyfriend stupid I know. Everyone thinks I'm perthetic but I feel so bad for him and I just can't control how much I need and love him
She's confirmed it to me anyway she told me again after I said its not my boyfriend your talking to its me bla bla.. and she said she sorry but it happened.. I controlled my anger only because I couldn't feel angry I was distraught and hurt... I kept the conversation we had for him threw Facebook and he said she's lying I didn't kiss her! he dusnt tx her all the tym he txed her after a night out saying come and meet me bla bla.. they didn't meet though she said
Ok that's great,the girls willing to talk to you.
Next step (like I said) ask her for her number.
Once you guys call each other have her call him with you on the other-line (three way call)
And have her flirt with him or ask him how the kiss was or something.
Wait for him to take the bait
And then,how can he say he didn't do anything,when you physically heard it?
I asked for her number and she said look I don't wna get involved we kissed we were drunk that's it he txed me end of if you wna know anything ask him its not my problem!. but he said to me if ever I hack into his Facebook again its over and he keeps making me feel bad so I apoligise to him saying I'm sorry I love you its my fault.. when I just wna say I hate you so much for hurting me but I love you so bad its just hard and so so so stupid!!
Oh so he's pulling the 'you hacked into my facebook' thing.
Personally that's another thing.
I wouldn't care if my ex hacked,anything of mine,because I have nothing to hide.I don't understand the extreme parinoia some people have over that,especially when the suspicions are proven.
How does he act towards you on a normal day?
(how many times a day does he call)
(does he tell you he loves you)
(how many times a week do you fight)
OK he calls me on every break at work , he texts me before he goes to work , txs me along cute message before he goes to bed , rings me like near enuff every hour and a half on the days I don't c him... he tells me he loves me all the time , on every tx every fone call , every time I'm with him... we only argue over my paranior and how I say how could you cheat on me and did you do it that just causes an argument... but I c him every day without fail ( only at the moment I can't because my car is playing up )!. but I get lifts to c him...
Ok his behavior is suspicious,it's just as bad as if he wasn't calling at all.
I'm sorry but there's no need to call someone,EVERY HOUR. Even if you are long distance.I would say maybe two calls a day is normal,more then that is obessesive. He is over-compensating,probably so you 'shut up' and don't suspect him of cheating.The illusion of the perfect boyfriend.
But do you think it could possibly be because the girl he cheated on you with rejected him?
So in a sense he's 'stuck' with you,and acting as if the cheating never happened?
No because the girl actually wanted a relationship with him when I was on the Facebook she put why don't u ever meet me you kissed me 1nce when we were in the club and I only heard from you last nyt after when you got home drunk , u never want to meet me and I actually wna be wif u!. so she said it... he could of gone off with her but he never... we've both bin very ringing all the time since we 1st got together enyway so that isn't strange to us in our relationship... he dus think I'm posseive and I never let him go out.. hense that because I'm afraid of what he's doing??
Kelly, you've established with this girl that your boyfriend did in fact kiss her. Whether they had been drinking doesn't change the facts. Now he's lying about it. Is that something that you want to put up with? What's to say he won't do this again? I wouldn't "shut up" but talk to him. Tell him that you know he's lied to you and there's no use lying anymore. See how he reacts to that. If he gets defensive like it still didn't happen I would get rid of this guy. If he finally admits it and apologizes, says it won't happen again, then you guys can work on your relationship. I personally, would have trust issues with him.
He gets defensive saying look I didn't kiss her god just believe me. I don't know what I can do to make him admit it , don't know why he can't when he knows that she has told me?
I would show him the door. What motive does this girl have to lie about it?
Yep exactly , yousee I know its true but I still can't leave him because he does make me happy and id o love him
OMG, this thread is now about 7 pages of the same thing.
Either you leave or you stay, only you can figure out why you want to be with a cheater. I think you should love yourself more than you love him, and then you will see that you don't need him until then. This vicious circle will continue.
I'm sorry I'm wasteing everyone's time but I just wish someone would understand the situation I'm in and that I love I'm too much I can't leave!! I'm scared of being on my own I guess but I don't wna not have him, sometimes I guess I think if I stay with him at least I've got him which is better then nt having him at all
You can leave. Don't stay with anyone just because you're afraid to be alone. How will you meet the one you're meant to be with if you waste anymore time with this jerk?
Yeah I understand what your saying.. he just rang me and was like I miss u.. it just suks me in all over again... were going abroad soon as well
:(:(:(::(
When are you going to stand up for yourself?
Everybody understand but your getting the same advice over and over. It is obivious he doesn't make you happy because if he did you wouldn't be in this dilemma or on this site.
It doesn't matter what we say because your going do what you want. Of course he gets angry or defensive when you asked him about his cheating ways because he is guilty but you stated you don't care--remember? So why do you keep asking him the same thing when you know he is going continue to lie about it?
Sorry if I seem a bit frustrated, but you really are wasting your own time. Not mine, I like to help but if you just don't see the advice that you are given on here and take it as people trying to help then, it is what it is. Put it this way if you detach yourself now from him, you can save yourself a very painful break up. You're obsessed. It is Very unhealthy, and don't be surprised if it drives him away.Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly10jonson
Try not to make him the reason for your happiness, find other things to do that will make you happy.
I can't let go
You can't let him go? Or the fact that he cheated? You're going to have to choose one.
Both!. he always shouts at me all the time as well. I know I shouldn't put up with it but I can't understand why I love him so much!! I just wish I could make I'm c what he's doing to me
To OP-
I kind of have a feeling you are trolling for attention,either that or really thick headed.
If I'm wrong,then come up with a substantial argument that isn't the same thing over and over.
I don't think I can help you anymore. We're going to be going in circles here. You can't hang on to him AND the fact that he cheated. You just can't. It doesn't work that way. You need to decide what's more important, being in a relationship with someone who will cheat on you and then lie about it or getting out of this controlling relationship and finding someone that you can trust.
Yer well I do love him so I guess il accept it because I can't see to finnish with him can I !
If this isn't for attention,then what does she expect us to say?
She can work it out with him?
I really don't think it's possible to work it out with a cheater and liar.
Based on everyone I know who has tried.
Yer but what if it was a mistake and he's only dun it 1nce ( of which I no of )
That's what you keep telling yourself, and I hate to say it, but until you tell yourself you may want him, but don't need him, things will only get worse not better, and you will really be hurt. Its up to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly10jonson
Your not the first, nor will you be the last to make someone so important in your life, that you justify his bad behavior, and put him and what he wants before you and what you really need, which is to dump him and work on your very real low self esteem, and self confidence. That's a lot more important than have a cheater as a boyfriend.
I do understand your situation very well, but it seems you don't.
By the way, this thread will be closed if you can't at least take time use better spelling, it only takes a second to use spell check.
Yerh I know that I shouldn't be with him but he does make me happy , I duno why I keep holding on I think because of our holiday maybe things will get better and he will feel like he 1st did for me
Starting other threads will not get you different answers for your problem.
I need more advice and answers! :(
You aren't going to get the advice that you are looking for.
You have gotten great advice and answers in this thread.
Hey, I'm not saying he hasn't cheated on you, but I have had trouble with my GF thinking I cheated on her. I've had pictures in my messages that wernt sent by me, because of my friends taking my phone. However once I did comfort a girl because she was going through a hard time and all I said was u can have anyone because your very pretty. I've also had two girls come up to me why I was with my GF and ask if I had got the naked picture they sent and I didn't even know them. This tears me apart because I know my GF does not trust me now and she constantly gets angry at me. I know how u feel from her, and he should feel like and be angry and depressed if he hasn't done anything, if he hasn't done anything he would b able to talk to you about it instead of getting angry tell him u went on FB and tell him u know. He is just scared of losing u, not so much losing u but having no one. And don't listen to people when they say u too young for a serious relationship. U have feelings too
In order to have a relationship with a person you need to have trust and once you break that trust it hard to gain. The only way he would admit to you he cheated its if you have prove him how or why you know he cheated. But like I said once he broke that trust its going to be hard for you relationship to be the same as before. He might love you the way he claims he does but guy fall in to temptaions
Yeah he says he does love me but if he did why would he cheat? A drunken kiss maybe.. I'm so confussed because I just can't get it off my mind.
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