Thank you :)

I guess since the last post a lot has happened. And when I mean a lot, I mean a lot.
He has a girlfriend now. Who is not in his year. She's 15. And in the year above me. She (like me) after meeting him in the last play we were in started to fancy him, and she plucked up the courage and told him. She has no idea about his problems, how he has been suffering from depression or anything like that. And since this confesession she and him are going out together.
Nobody really knows about this. Only a few people. 3 of his friends in his year know, and 5 of her friends. And then he told me. Why? I don't know, probably because he tells me everything.
I know this girl really well, we've known each other since we were little, and I know she's a really nice girl.
And how do I feel about the whole situation? Well, I'm trying to be happy for the both of them. Everyone that knows about it is commenting on how sweet it is. But I kind of now understand why we could never go out in the first place, because I'm starting to think that this girl is way to young for him. And if she's too young, imagine how young compared to him I must be.
Despite seeing this girl, he's still talking to me about his problems. I don't think he wants her to know about his problems. He still tells me I know more about him than anyone else does. And he has even said "Mel, I love you!"
This girls friends are becoming concerned about her, they like me believe she is too young for this boy, and consequently believe that she is shutting herself off from them to be with him or think about him. They believe the relationship has gone to her head. He tells me they hardly spend any time together. His friends are all very supportive of it. But, its causing a lot of grief, having to sneak off to see her, having withstand all the disrespect her friends are giving her, and having to keep it quiet from everyone.
I don't know how it's going to last. He says she makes him very happy. But if he's still coming to me to speak to me, and talk to me, and trusting me to listen to him, what sort of feelings does he have for her.
He thinks I'm extremely happy for the both of them. THey are going out together soon. Maybe to the cinema. And me and him are seeing a lot more of each other in rehearsals for the play. The closest we've been to being alone, is when there were just two of us and one of our friends who is a year older than me. Otherwise, I'm taking your advice to always be with someone else in his company.

You are handling this wisely.
This also shows the kind of boy he is to have this girl on one side and having an emotional relationship with you on the other.
That is not fair to this other girl, ans yes, she is too young for him. I just hope this girl does not find out about the two of you. Perhaps you should ask him if she knows and suggest he either stop with you or leave this girl alone.
He seems to have a thing for young girls. I do not trust that.
Be Careful with this young man

This girl knows that me and him are friends. He told her that I knew about them being a couple, and she has often said to me "Do you approve of me and him seeing each other?" and I always reply "What do my thoughts count? As long as your happy together thats all the matters"
I don't think he has a thing for young girls. When we did the play I met him in, there was a group of 9 of us who always hung out together, he seemed to be one of the oldest, I being the youngest. This girl is exactly like me, met him during the rehearsals and started fancying him.
He has publicly announced in her presence "Mel knows more about me than even I do"
Are you suggesting he's two timing her with me? I really doubt that. We don't really have a relationship. We just.. okay, we sort of have one... but I wouldn't go as far to say it's two timing. So, I'm not sure how saying "please stop with me" will make things any better.

[QUOTE=Melhoneybee;2050465]
Despite seeing this girl, he's still talking to me about his problems. I don't think he wants her to know about his problems. He still tells me I know more about him than anyone else does. And he has even said "Mel, I love you!"
He says she makes him very happy. But if he's still coming to me to speak to me, and talk to me, and trusting me to listen to him, what sort of feelings does he have for her.
QUOTE]

I'm only going by what you have said. I'm not saying he is two timing, I'm just wondering if he is not leading her on. If she knows he is still talking so much to you.
I say he seems to have a thing for younger girls because it is unusual for a guy of his age to have two girls he is talking to as young as you two. Guys that age generally talk to girls closer to their age.

Do what you REALLY don't want to do--forget about him. Concentrate on getting through school. Always remember, there are other wonderful men that will come along in your life as the years go by (he is still a boy)... if you blame him for anything you feel, he will become even more distant. You can't force a relationship, so pretty girl, put your head in your books and think about a path that will be smart in this economy. Your time to pay bills is coming shortly.

Me and him are growing distant. We are still close friends, and now I feel my feelings for him are slowly fading, I still think of him a lot, far more than I should do, but it is fading. I'm doing a lot of concerts now, plays, performing, and he's seeing more of his girlfriend, meeting up with her in town. He keeps tellingme stuff about her though, like every time they kiss etc. and I still feel he's more open with me about everything compared to her.
I'm trying to grow distant, its hard, and it hurts me a little inside, it feels like self betrayal, but I'm doing it.

If his talking about her hurts you, tell him to stop. Speak up!
The fact that he is telling you stuff like that about is a red flag. That is a tacky thing for him to do. He has no respect for this girl and little respect for your feelings as well.
I know this hurts, but his leaving you alone is a good thing in the long run.

Lots of things have been happening again. We treat each other as friends, lots more people are finding out about their relationship and are appalled. No one has the courage to say it outloud, but many have voiced their opinions to me. Since my last post, we have grown close again. Last night, I was performing opera at a school speech night at the philiarmonic hall (A very famous concert hall in Liverpool, UK) Before the ceremony started, he spent the whole time sat with me instead of his girlfriend reasuring me, wishing me luck, telling me what he thought of my opera and how he had every confidence in me. Although as soon as I left him, to go the dressing rooms before I made my appearance, apparently, his girlfriend came and joined him and they spent the whole night with her, apparntly. But when I entered onto the stage though he just sat there transfixed. And after the event he rushed up to me and gave me a massive hug, right in front of her...
Today I passed him while he was on his phone, (I'm presuming to her) and as soon as he saw me he went "Gotta go, love you bye" put the phone down extremely quickly and went "Hey Mel...."
I'm really confused... I don't want to forget about him... I do try to, but it doesn't work... It's so annoying, wherever I go, he's there... I try to be all hacked off with him... but I can't help but be overly nice...

You need to leave this guy alone, in fact he needs to leave you alone.
You are setting yourself up to be hurt. Stop romanticizing about this boy, it is not doing either of you any good, and if this girl is your friend you are not doing her right.
Get a grip young lady, you are too smart for this. I think he is enjoying the fact that he has two young girls who idolize him.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I think he is enjpying the fact that he has two young girls who idolize him.

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Yes Homegirl 50, he is having fun playing with two girls hearts and it will soon become none.

Your right, I have taken these thoughts into consideration. I'm trying to just let him and her get on together. I know it won't last between them, and if he breaks her heart, he breaks her heart.
There's a boy in my form, who apparently really likes me. I like him. Not as much as this older guy, but the more I see of him, the more I like him. We're becoming fast friends, and he's taking my mind off him :)

Good girl!
You will soon not feel the same way about this guy. It's not a good situation, so if you can begin to talk to someone closer to your age, you would be better off.
This older guy is bad news.

I wish you the best. Keep me posted.

Hey, sorry I keep coming to you guys for guidance, but I don't know who else to turn to.
So this boy, in my form, me and him have known each other since we were about 4, and we have always been mates. Since about August we have grown closer friends. And, now I think I have some sort of feeling for him. A friend of his told me he knew that I like him. So I didn't deny it (usually that's the sort of thing I deny) apparently it's dead obvious I do like him. Possibly because every morning I see him, I rush up to speak to him and give him a hug, I'm always glad to see him and we are together quite a lot. Apparently he knows I fancy him and when he was asked does he fancy me he just went silent.
Fancy, I don't really know what it is to fancy someone any more. The feelings I have for him, are there, but they're not as strong as the ones I had for this older guy, when I first met him. I don't get butterflies when I see him, when I smile at him, I don't go all weak inside,these were the feelings I had for this older guy, oh I'm too young to be worrying about all of this sort of stuff I know I am, but I needing something or someone to take my mind off him and his girlfriend. I'm so daft, what on earth have I let myself do to myself? Why couldn't I have never met him. I think that every day. I've tried going out with mates, going for walks, going to parties, shopping, walking painting, acting... but nothing takes my mind off him, what am I to do? Even when I think it does, it doesn't.
If this boy really does fancy me, will it make things going on in my mind about the older guy go away? I just want to see him as a friendly 6th former, and nothing else... We spent the play rehearsal sat next to each other on Friday giggleing, it hurts me that I'm too young and he's with someone who is barely older than me. I try to be friendly and nothing more, but it just happens...
WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY!
And do I truly fancy the guy who is the same age as me, or am I forcing myself too, or should I just go dig a pit, jump in and not come out for a very long time... Sorry, I know you're probably sick of me, but it's bugging me a lot :(

You don't get involved with someone to forget another person. I think you are trying to forget about the older guy.
You really don't need to do that. Just let time take care of it. Don't go running to this guy hoping it will help you get over the older one.
It's not fair to him and it won't do you any good either.
You don't really fancy him, you are just trying to get over the older guy.

Thanks, I'll take this into consideration :)

I have been in this situation so many times myself. After time passes, there will be plenty of other things that will keep you occupied. He may stay in your mind for a long time, but he doesn't have to stay in your heart, especially when you don't have classes with him anymore.

Today has been a very strange time...
I was doing a rehearsal tonight, and I have been unwell all week, I suddenly started getting really faint. The director told me to go sit outside for a short while. As I returned to the studio, (to go and sit back down at the back) I found him sitting right next to where I had been sitting... He asked me how I was. I told him I was unwell and dizzy, and he did some reasuring. He then asked me, would I like to go back outside again, he offered to come with me, so I refused (remembering what you had said about being alone) I made an excuse about it being too cold outside, so he said he would bring his coat... he seemed so determined to be alone with me, after my reluctance to, he finally gave up.
Due to my increasing, illness, I lay down, on my mates coat, he immdiatley goes "Here, use my coat as a pillow"... So I do, he sits next to me smiling... and generally looking pleased... And everyone comments on how sweet I look sleeping on his coat... I drifted in and out of sleep seeing as I wasn't needed for the rest of the night.
The strange thing is, shortly after I opened my eyes, I glanced upwards to see him with his hands over his eyes not budging... No one seemed to be paying attention to this apart from me and the other girl sat with us. People glanced at him. He sat there, for long time like this. I was kept going "****** are you alright? ****** Whats wrong******?"
I got no answer for a longtime, and then he pulled his hands away from his face to show tears running down his cheeks. Everyone with us, looked at him shocked and confused.
He just whispered "Sorry Mel, I'm fine, please, I'll be ok, I'm not crying, honest" but despite his lying, his face was all botchy, and his eyes were red... He didn't seem the same when we said goodbye and left.
I really don't understand... I am anything to do with it? I'm a little worried about him

This guy either has problems or he is working you. Either way, leave him alone! Keep your distance from him. Don't let him sucker you in to feeling sorry for him and then being alone with him.
He is too old to be trying to get with you, that is enough for me to know he ought to leave you alone and he would if he cared. This guy like messing with the mind of young girls.
Leave him alone, be very weary of him.

Why would he want to get with me though, when he has a girlfriend, who he thinks the world of? He cares a lot about her, he wouldn't just leave her would he, I think he has the common sense not to do that

Because this is a game to him. He likes being idolized by very young girls.
If he thought the world of this girl, he would not be sniffing around you.
This guy IMO is bad news.

Hmm OK, now I understand you...
I'm going to try and keep my distance, and I promise I will try

Good girl!
I don't want to come online here and see that you have been hurt.
I wish you well.
Keep me posted and write anytime.

I had a problem in some senses similar to yours and Im 14 so I understand how wierd and new it all is! Believe me when I say this DONT LET HIM FOOL YOU! I understand you love him but all teens need to understand older ppl sum times take advantage of younger ppl. And as a teen you also need to remember that at this point in your life you are so full of raging hormones that you could start a hell bent army! These hormones can cloud your judgement and common sense and make you think its love when its sum thing else. Im not saying what you have isnt love, it sounds genuine to me , but what I am saying is to be careful about who you give your love away to! Cause it could come back to bite you in the a**!!

Are you saying it could be something else? I don't understand...
Today the college had a christmas market (can you believe it in November?) and me and him were working on stalls selling things. He came over to see me and aologised for what came over him last night when he got upset and how he should have contained himself. I told him there was nothing to worry about.
At the market, was a piano and a band, and I sang some stuff...
He came to congratulate me and give me a hug...
His girlfriend was there, but not once did they speak to each other but he did want to speak to me. I'm trying to be a mature adult, and control myself and treat him like a friend and nothing else.
I feel now, I am able to sort things out in my head, and create a distance. Thank you for your advice

This older guy is giving you attention and I'm sure it is flattering, but he is being out of line. He really should leave both of you girls alone, you are both too young. I hope he has not gotten all he wanted from the other girl and has now decided to go after you again.
The boy is either unstable or is playing a game with both of you, either way, keep your distance from him.

I've just heard, they are kind of having an argument, I'll leave them alone, it's not my business, I'm diverting my mind to other things

Good girl. You are a smart young lady.

That's good! Just keep your distance and every thing will turn out okay!

I was keeping my distance. I promise I was. I found myself speak to him today (tut tut Mel) and I asked him how is mock exams were going (He's taking mock exams, before his finals in May) he said not good and that he was bound to fail and had accepted it.
I told him that was a silly thing to think, he's very clever and has applied to Oxford.
But then he explained that he hadn't revised for any exams and during his exam on Friday afternoon he spent at least half an hour trying to concentrate, but his head wouldn't settle because too many things in his head were distracting him.
I think this could have been a reason to why he was crying in our play rehearsal.
I'm a little concerned about this. Despite trying to sitance myself, I do want him to do well in his exams. These mocks are important, they let universities know what grades he might get. If he doesn't do well enough, no university is going to want to offer him a place.
He just doesn't seem bothered. How do I motivate him? I know I should be pulling apart from him, and he is bad news, but I'm one of the few people he listens to. I did try and advise him, but he said it was no use, he doesn't feel happy about anything any more.
What can I do? I can't bear to see him throw away at least 2 years education, because his minds distracted... How can, I give him the courage to go forward?

You can't. You told him what you needed to tell him the rest is up to him.
Don't let him suck you in. I think he is using your concern for him to keep you on a string.
He is not your responsibility.
Leave this guy alone. He has problems you are not equipped to deal with and you should not gave to.

Oh baby, these men love to pull you close in your sympathy and then tell you how very nice you are in order to set up their first sexual advances.

Even if that's not what he will ever do... that's how it works with many men. The woman tries to have compassion on something that she really can't have any control over.

JUST LET HIM LIVE HIS OWN LIFE AND PROBLEMS. HE CAN'T BE HELPED BY YOU IN THIS SCENARIO.

I guess I should explain what's been happening.
A few weeks ago we were at another concert. (Yeah, I know, I do so many concerts) and he and his girlfriend were there. We do the concerts at a palm house in our local park. As all the musicians walked back they walked in front of us, arms around each other looking utterly in love. The group of us decided to walk really slowly behind them. I thought this was so we could give them some time together, but in fact what happened was one big about them both. Everyone started saying all these awful things about the poor girl. I just walked along listening in silence. Feeling an empty pit of sadness in my stomach seeing them so happy together, a feeling of anger at that people could be so mean, and a slight embarrasement at the fact I couldn't help agreeing with what they were saying, and at some points said "yes I agree" with some of their points. I felt really bad inside.
When I arrived back, I went into the ladies, to hear sobbing. The poor girl was crying her eyes out. She had obviously heard what everyone had been saying about her and how much they hate the relationship. I expected her, when she opened the cubicle door to slap me, seeing as I'd said some pretty bad stuff (I know, I'm terrible, you hate me) which I thought she had overheard. Instead she flung herself onto and began to sob into my shoulder, saying despite the age difference, she was the only real friend she had...
I felt so bad... I couldn't believe it. Here I was, soothing the person, who is seeing the person I really loved...
A few days later, a friend of mine, who is friends with his girlfriend told me about some of the things they had done. I'm quite shocked. Meh, I'M REALLY SHOCKED! Omigosh! She's only young.. and he, he should know better than to do these things with a 15 year old... gosh I sound like a mother, and I'm only 13, but I'm just worried... Not my fault...

Not so long ago, I was speaking to my mutual friend... We'll call her lucy, about the relationship between... (We'll call them) Fred and Hannah... (I need names to explain this)

Apparently Fred used to fancy Hannahs friend Rosie (another made up name, but you get what I mean, they're real people). I knew about his love for Rosie. But I didn't know he asked out Rosie, which according to Lucy happened. And When Rosie said no, because the thought of seeing a 17 year old scared her, the next day he asked out Hannah. Who then said yes. That's why she's getting into argument with everyone. They are all convinced he's using her for something, especially since he asked her out straight after Rosie. Hannah, believes they are all out to make her unhappy, they really just care about her.
Ok, so less of her... A few nights ago, me and him spoke, for the first time in a long while. We spoke about how we first met. He said how grateful he was to know me. So I being foolishly overcome with emotion told him, I loved him, and he was like a brother to me. To which he replied how he had always seen me as his little sister.
Hmmm...
No matter how I hard I pretend, I really do still love him. Like a brother and more. I think of him all the time, he's like the second thought always, always in my head. I don't want him to know I love him. I have a feeling that he would feel used. The fact that I have been so kind to him because I have a very very large crush on him, and not because I seem him as an extremely close friend may offend him I feel...
At the moment his relationship is on the rocks. She's away in the USA with our college skiing in California, and according to sources, is flirting with every lad going, and when he texts her and rings her up, she can't be bothered speaking to him.
I of course, am spending my nights on the phone to him, emailing him, soothing his worries and promising things will be OK... when in fact I know, things are not what they could be...
Sorry, I know, long rant... I really do wonder what I have got myself into... ARGHHH!

*she said I was

This guy is playing you like a fiddle.
I'll tell you again. Leave him alone.

I think that everyone on this post has experienced this kind of situation, is wiser and older than you, and has told you to stay away from him, but you don't want to listen.

I am staying away from him. I haven't spoken to him in a long time. Yes I have received texts from him, but I haven't answered them. I don't return his calls. I'm staying away from him, and I don't intend to have anything to do with him. I am listening to your advice, it's just hard. But I think I've finally managed to solve everything now. Thank you for your advice, it has worked.

Look, I'm in the same situation. Im in love with a 15 year old, that turns 16 in about a month. I fell in love with him quite a while ago and I've never stopped loving him.
Tell him how you feel, because I built up the courage to the other day and now he is considering going out with me, which I never imagined he would do.
If you don't tell him how you feel you could lose touch one day and he will never know. He might feel the same.
Just tell him, even if he doesn't love you back, your young, and you have your entire life to find someone who feels the same way about you, and if he does love you back, you won't need to
I hope that I'm helping <3 xxx