At 14 I only had one or two close friends.
I wasn't even thinking about boys till a few years later.
My first kiss was at the age of 17.

There's no need to rush things.
You are doing excellent at school and that's what counts at the moment... trust me, girls will take more notice of a guy with a good job because he excelled in school than the popular guy who had average grades and is working at McDonalds.

Hope your right shazamataz. Everyone says it is more important when you get older. I go to quite a posh school, we are not a rich family but I got a good scholarship. We just started our first module in Chemistry and Physics and took the exam last term. I get back quite late from school and the nearest place is about 30 minutes drive away. I know its not healthy to have no friends and I'm trying really hard to sort it out. I am going to try a cheap slendertone because I'm sure it is going to boost my confidence when meeting new people. Its not that I don't speak to people. It's that I am always cut off, contradicted or overwritten by someone I get on well with my teachers and I work hard. I just want school to be a little more enjoyable!

Yeah, do what ever makes you feel confident, in the end it doesn't matter what others think but more what you think of yourself.

And if people are going to cut off or contradicted you there's no point in trying to talk to them. I've given up on people like that.

Hey again

I just want to point out that when a person beats everyone else on a test they get labeled its wrong I know but it happens and your on 14 it really doesn’t matter weather you have friends or not there’s a kid in my year and he’s really nerdy but he just be's himself and doesn’t try to hide it and he’s one of my closest friend so don’t hide yourself if you get on with our teachers great then you'll live thought the next however many years of high school or middle school or whatever the schooling system is because when you hit university or college that’s when good grades count I mean who wants to date a dumb hottie than a smart guy who is getting in shape and looking after themselves not me!

Take it from a peer live as you would if you did have friends don’t try to fit in be who you want to be and if that’s not acceptable who cares?

Thanks Sphira! I shouldn't have to change myself. I am doing it for my own confidence and welfair, not for their expectations. Thank you all for your help :) has been a really boost to what I thought was a sensible idea. Thanks again

Take it from me... I would raither date a smart, mature man than somebody who can't spell the word Mississippi. I think brains is a turn on. Don't worry about the not kissed somebody thing. When your time comes, it comes. There will be a girl that is for you. It may not be today and it may not be tomorrow. But your little princess will wait for her prince.

:) I'm waiting lol. Will wait aslong as it takes because that moment will be a special one. Thanks guys! Long live AMHD

I would say the defintition of a guy I would want to go out with is excactly how you described yourself. I tend to hate guys who are loud, obnoxious and all over confident. I would SO much rather be around you then any other guy. Looks don't matter as much to some girls ( like me) so I'm sure that you'll find someone who is like that. Just don't stress about it because I'm kind of socially awkward too and whenever some one talks to me I can't really find the words to say, so you're not alone.

He's never alone... he has us! :D lol

Nalla, how many kids are there in your grade? Depending on that amount I'm am positive that you will find someone that is interested in computer games as much as you are. I spend some extra time with friends playing games online like WOW. Im 16, and I'm kind of the social guy, but I was never always that way. I got into sports( baseball, football, soocer) made lots of friends, and my confidence level jumped. For u, just find other kids that are into things you like to do, and you feel comfortable around.

Hey! You're obviously pretty smart for asking this! I'm 14 and I want my guy to be caring (he has to care about what I feel and how I'm doing), smart (he HAS to have a smart guy of course! Someone who I can talk to without dumbing it down.), ambition (he has to have some idea where he wants to be in the future. Like career, marriage, kids, stuff like that that actually matters in life. It annoys me when guys only think about sex and video games. :( ) And he can be good looking, but I'd rather date an ugly guy who cares about me and loves me more than life itself than a drop dead gorgeous model who treats me as part of his property. I hope I helped! :-)

Thanks people :) I go to a small private school and at the moment there are 15 people in my year. :( not easy to find people other thean the ones around me. It is really nice that sumeone else my age thinks about more than sex and video games. I hope you find your sensitive clever guy... You definanty deserve him.

Its also Great to have so many nice people on one internet site! Lol... its really nice to meet such unerstanding and like-minded people. Shame all the people around me seem to think I'm some trash to avoid and yelp at the sight of. Things will get better and you lovely people have really helped me get out of a silly emotional ditch that has made my life dismall and boring. :) great to have a fun club... will be posting soon about how life is great soon! (dont hold your breath) but hey... ill keep trying :D

I'm dating a girl younger than me, don't allways got to date your age
And as for the small class thing, sign up for a camp, co-ed so you can meet new people and try and un shelter yourself if you get what I mean bro

Hey don't even stress about it, you're still young... trust me, but I know that wasn't your initial question so I'll answer that one. I'm a 14 year old girl and I do NOT like hunks, or anything of that sort. In fact the guy I like right now is nothing of that sort, he's lanky and face full of zits, but I love it anyway. Trust me, I know a lot of girls like me who have that taste too. I like mature guys, obviously not ones that think they are better then everyone else due to their maturity, but mature guys definitely. You should wait until you're a little older to be getting hopped up over this, most 14 year old girls are just horny and will be willing to do anything, and their weakness are manipulative hunksters, please don't be one of those guys, you're on the right track right now if you know right from wrong and if you are sticking to your true colors and not changing yourself to fit in with the ladies.

Thank you... it really means a lot to know its not just me that thinks all the hunkstes are lucky because the girls are horney. Its sad... but ill live! How bad can it be?

Anyway, I've seen you around this site and you even answered one of my previous questions so generously, so let me tell you it seems like your personality is top notch; in the end that's what really matters to girls like me at least. And yeah, a lot of the girls who like the hunksters are horny little school girls that don't mind being used. Hunksters may be hot, but in the personality dept. they get a 0.. So don't worry, as you get older you will meet mature girls who dig you.

I think you sound cute,if that helps. And not all girls are sex obsessed, they look for personality more, but some are stupid and go for the looks, but I'm not like that

Im 14 and what I look for in a guy is that he's nice , isn't mean to people at school specially ones who feel out of place, same interests as me, don't try to protect me all the time but when needed, aren't sexist, aren't pervs, they will comfort me, won't ingnore but will talk to them when they like you and acts like they want to talk to you, sticks up for themselves, sticks up for their friends if they deserve it, but mostly just a genuine guy hope that helped!

But don't worry the right girl will come allong but don't be desperate only date someone you truly like! I think its best to stick to your age level, also since your academic don't (im not saying you do) but don't put other people down if they don't do so well in school. I would be immediately attraced to a guy if a kid was having a tough time and he's said to the kid "its fine just keep working at it!" and really since we're the same age I have to tell you that I have the same issues Im athletic Im a girl I'm 5"8" but, I still have confidence issues! Just like you sometimes I can't even speak and I asked my sis in the car (she 16 and she rocks) "When did you find out who you are?" and she told me after a while of talking, "eventually you just have to not care what people think and be who you are!" it just takes time ! What I do when I need confidence is I look myself in the mirror and point out what I like about my personality and what I dislike but do What you like last and then just think about it for a while and then decide , "am I going to let what people will think of me when I say what im feeling stop me?" I find that when I felt socially the best it was right after I said that to myself . And didn't let it stop me ! If people don't like you for who you are then they just won't and its OK I know some for me, and Im OK with it! I just got to show them that I don't care and if they cross me Il stick up for myself and making yourself look a little better is not a bad thing Im self confident and Im not fat or anything like it! "OreeoShowProductions" Youtube if you want to see watch "The talking Apple" but I find that watching comedies make me feel more self confident too! The one that makes me feel that way is "She's the Man" a soccer flick! And getting a girlfriend isn't that big of a deal and remember speak up but don't pressure yourself to speak when youfeel like it but remember if you don't speak that much people will think you "The non talking kid in class" which isn''t good speak everyday and don't hold back and what I do is if I get embarressed because ofsomething I did I always think oh well it won't matter later in my life anyway I mean think about it when your an adult no one will still be talking about the emmbarrasing thing you did! And my friend michelle said to me she said "but your never nervous" and boy I AM!! Remember everyone is self confident issues even if they don't show it REMEMBER THAT Friend! And talk to me on YouTube if you can! Your truly -Brooke B

I meant stay near your age as in don't date younger ones or more than 5 years cause those usually seem to be using people that younger than them sorry for three in a row lol -Brooke

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Originally Posted by ZoeMarie

well, just ask them if they want to go dancing with you? if yes, great! if not, then you know. to me it sounds like fun!

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It sounds fun to me too!! Too bad you prob don't live near me haha!:(;)

Well, to be quite honest I agree with a lot of people who have answered this. It's not all about looks that attract guys. I once went out with a guy who was really skinny and had a bad attitude, and it was his attitude towards me that made me dump him. To me, its all about the personality, not the looks, although sometimes the looks can draw a girls attention to the guy, its more the peronality. I mean, if you like someone, then you like them, it doesn't matter what they look like, its how they treat you. :)

Thank you all so much... it has been a great help to hear from everyone! Its great to have a sight like this that offers support for everyone... hope I can repay you all when you need some advice! :) feeling better now.. nearly holidays and time to relax. Allan

Wow! Thank you so much for asking this question :) I'm like a complete copy of you when it comes to personality. We also seem to have same interests. I really like music ( I'm a drummer - not and idiot :P and a beginner guitarist ) and computer stuff :)

The thing is that I very often feel misunderstood.. I am also a calm guy and I'm a thinker ( I really don't like that since it takes me ages do decide upon simple decisions.. ). My grades though are getting worse since I'm starting to find no sense in school (don't think of me as some lazy dude.. I got to the best school in the country but I guess I'm starting to think too much about the meaning of life and I'm getting closer to the fact that school isn't everything). Girls in my class actually call me emo (I can assure you I'm not emo but that wouldn't even be a bad thing) and they most probably think I'm gay since I rather hang out with guys.

I would also like a girlfriend but for another reason - I would love it if I could give a sh*t about what the whole world would think of me but have this one person that would understand me and love me.

I am also not a well built guy.. I am skinny and not muscular at all :( I guess it would help me boost up my confidence if I did some exercises but I hate to think of that as getting closer to social standards - I would like to be myself! The dumb thing is that I don't like myself when it comes to the looks :) . I think I'm a nice person to hang out with (my good friends (male) know that) but girls at my age ( I'm 16 by the way ) don't seem to care about the personality. It's really strange because I would expect girls to be more mature in the best high school in the country...

So yeah thank you very much for asking this question again! I would also like to thank all of the people that understand NallaNeedsYou and me :) It's nice to know there are this kind of people out there. This topic gave me hope :)

Best Regards!

Im glad its not just me! I aren't really the one to advice... but there it is... 7 pages of great answers and things that should help all those of us out there lol :) just keep going and keep your head up... think about how hard other people to get to good schools.. you have the opportunity of a life time don't waste it :)

Hey my name is carla I just turned fourteen I want to say that I personaly don't just go for looks I go for intellegence funny sweet and I hate to say this he can't be to bad looking
Be yourself and socialize don't for into the its all abot me mode and act sincere no don't act be I love a guy who compliment
Another thing if a girl says no move on and don't be pushy I meen don't ask her over and over again give her a break
Things will work out I promise

personally I go for looks first. It's a thing by nature I think... but I am making a difference between a perfect looking guy with a bad attitude and a good looking guy with a caring attitude =]
Things will find their way dude =]

Now that is slightly different and I think I can understand it a little better... I like this girl, she thinks I'm nice and sweet, I make her laugh and we are planning to go and see a film etc but she says she hasn't been out with the boys she has been asked out by because she doesn't like them like that. Any ideas what I'm aiming to be?

Well, are YOU going to consider this a date?

It's important to know where you stand, because you don't want one of you thinking this of as a date, and the other just thinking it's just a friendly hang out.

I'm under the impression that this will be a first date.

Well, if I read what you posted and understood it in the way that you intended, then she basically told you she DOES like you back.
Don't try to do anything either of you is comfortable with. Just hang out, watch the movie, enjoy it, and enjoy each other. If anything more needs doing, it will come naturally.

Good Luck

Well,
I can't speak for all girls but I would probibly want a smart guy. Not all of us care about looks.
Just be yourself. That should do the trick.

PS. Remember also do not be afraid to show amotion :o:):(:confused::mad::p

Well, I'm smart, and I've dated someone who is dumb, and it really puts a downer on things. But my current boyfriend is smart, and that is 1 of the things that made me want to date him.
In your case, you say you are smart, so there must be someone out there that is smart and admires that in you. Maybe she is too shy. DON'T be afraid to make a move. That's a big mistake some boys make that are shy.
Observe how girls act towards you. If you're in class, be aware if any girls are staring or something like that. It MIGHT mean that they are into you or at least checking you out.
Don't worry. Someday you'll find someone :-)

You're only 14, so it's not that big of a deal if you haven't had your first kiss yet.
I'm a girl and let me tell you what I look for in a guy. I'm not going to lie, looks do help. It's what attracts us to a person in the first place, so it's not shallow saying that looks play a part. But at the same time, they aren't everything. I've met some extremely hot guys that I want nothing to do with because they're stupid, immature, mean and cocky. But anyway, I also like a guy who's smart, funny, nice, sensitive, respectful, and confident. That's what most girls look for, but usually they only act on it later in life, girls can be just as blind and shallow as guys. Any girl who determines whether she'll go out with you by your looks, is not worth your time. You seem like a really nice, smart, mature guy, someone any girl would be lucky to have. Just give yourself some more credit, don't be so hard on yourself, confidence can be way more attractive then looks. I've liked guys that other people say are really ugly, but it's just the energy they put off that draws me in, even if they aren't exactly "hot". Best of luck to you.
P.S. If it helps, I'm 15 and still haven't had my first kiss yet. ;)

This may have been said already but I didn't read it. So sorry if I am repeating someone.


See... the thing is, at 14, teens are very shallow and superfisial (didnt spell that right) only interested in the popular, hunky hot guys.

But see, when you become an adult, and when you ARE ready for a girlfriend, you will see that adult women, once they mature, are much more interested in the smart, polite, gentle guys who can offer security and kindness.

So keep your head up and don't worrei too much at this point :) just relax and have fun hanging out with your friends.

If I'm repeating anybody sorry...

Ummm I'm 14 about to be 15 next month and I've always hung around girls whether my age or not and I know that it really isn't about that. Girls are people too and they want to be comfortable around you. Right now I'm going into my sophomore year and I like this girl and were good friends I've known her for like 2 yrs. If you ever like a girl don't rush at things either because you want girlfriend... trust me your time will come every girl doesn't hate you... im actually one of those athletic boys even though I'm not tall and muscular but I am friends with so many girls..

It seems most the girls you've been trying to get are all es anyway :) What most kind, honest, non-shallow girls look for is what you have. For me and most my friends (I don't know for everyone else out there) intelligence (only because me and my friends are exceptionally smart), Personal hygiene, Average looks, Manners, Maturity, Sensitivity, Kindness, and individuality. What isn't attractive is that attitude of im-too-cool-for-this, An obssession of how good your six pack is, acting stupid around your friends, being overly rude, and I'm sure you can figure out the rest for yourself. Any decent girl who is good enough to be your girlfriend shouldn't care whether you have a six pack or not. Right now, I'm in love with a guy who's an inch and a half shorter than me, has a body like a bean pole etc but he is a beautiful person, and is beautiful in my eyes, even though he isn't in most people's. Someone will notice you and fall in love with you, if you are a nice person. So just remember that your clearly waaay to good for all those skanky girls who just want a guy with a six pack, wait for the right girl who loves you for who you are, not for how you look. I know you've probably heard this all before, but it's the truth. Xx

I'm a girl myself and what i look for in a guy is a good personality(not too smart,not too dumb) and also something that he has in common with me.
and his eyes are a main thing for me, if he doesn't have cute
looking eyes then i won't like him.

Always keep in mind that all girls look for different things in guys.


Hope I've helped! :)

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Originally Posted by spitvenom

Man when I was 14 (i'm 31 now) I was maybe 5 feet tall weighed 90 pounds soaking wet with rocks in my pocket and glasses that were to big for my face. So of course when girls first met me there was no interest but once they got to know me their feelings changed.

You have to be confident that is the main things. People can tell when you don't have confidence Stand up straight, Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Don't be afraid to just start a conversation with girls. But don't start the conversation thinking I need to date this girl. Start the conversation by just wanting to get to know the person. It is hard I am not going to lie to you but if I did it you can!!!!

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Could not agree more
Try out new things do the things you never done before and try to act like a teenager not a mature person time will come when you have to act like a adult
Take care

Its not right to judge someone from the look, its wrong and stupid, people have to understand that people have personalities, and I no that inside of you is a nice gentle and awesome person every girl would be lucky to have, maybe you should show what you are really, so just be honest, don't fake.. ever! And most important be yourself, just be U, thts all I got, best luck for u.

Don't worry mate, my first kiss (was in a dare) was last year, and I am turning 18 in August this year.
Just be yourself. At some point certain girls will be naturally attracted to you. No need to seek it out.
I have never only had very few girls attracted to me, but in the last few weeks girls seem to have changed their outlook towards me and started to seem more interested. No need to worry about it at all, just be you and don't give finding a girlfriend much thought, these things just happen, you don't plan it out.
Also, some advice that everyone in the world should be taught in school.
Shoulders straight.
Head up, eyes forward.
Back straight, no slouching.
Be confident, be yourself.
Think before you speak.
That will help a lot. No girls going to take notice of you in a good way if you are slouching in the corner.