Ask Me Help Desk - 17 an 14 OK to date?

I am amazed at the amount of people who think that age doesn't matter. Watch an episode of "To Catch A Predator" the guys on that show seem to think age does matter. It matters a lot, it will alter your life forever. You get caught, you can be put into jail and have the branded name of "child predator" for the rest of your life.

Another thing, the U.S law doesn't say "No sexual acts between an adult and a minor if they are of the opposite sex but if they are the same sex, well that's okay" IT'S NOT RIGHT EVER!

Comment on Romefalls19's post

There is a certain barrier between maturity and "what is right." There is such thing as true love.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabbit91

Are you guys 2years or 3 years apart?

Like is she turning 15 really soon? while your not turning 18 till next year?

Anyways- I think its ok, you can't get each other pregnant. The maturity levels might be a tad uneven. But if your both mature enough I say age has no limits.

May I ask where you live?

Rabbit91 : There is a certain barrier between maturity and "what is right." There is such thing as true love.

This has nothing to do with what you posted above.

If it is true love it can wait another year or two. You give no regard to laws or real consequences in your replies.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Rabbit91 : There is a certain barrier between maturity and "what is right." There is such thing as true love.

This has nothing to do with what you posted above.

If it is true love it can wait another year or two. You give no regard to laws or real consequences in your replies.

Exactly, I wouldn't have disagreed had she mentioned the laws. I mean, hey if age and laws don't matter, then serving 10-15 years in state prison shouldn't either

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabbit91

2 years is not a big barrier - that is what im saying.

Maturity is more important then a 'number.'

If a 16year old with alot of maturity is in a relationship with a 20 year old with maturity what is the problem? (besides an invisible -age difference?)

Rather then a 20 year old who is extremely immature in a relationship with a 20 yearold who is also immature?

Hmm... think outside of the box.

The fact that the police can arrest the 20 year old, and now can do so WITHOUT the parents calling.(unless that law hasn't been passed yet, I will have to check) But either way, If it's true love, it waits and will stick around.

I would never allow my daughter to date a 17 year old at the age of 14. My daughter would not be able to date anyway until 16, like me, and it must be in her age group. I would like to see what a lot of people that says age doesn't matter, what would allow your daughter to do at the age? She must have some doubts about it also if she asking.

Secondly, you have other problems. Why would you want this girl to be your rebound. What happen if you were able to date her and decide to get back with your ex. It sounds like you still have a lot of growing up to do.

See in other posts, You guys say things like.. Oh that shouldn't matter, if you likes someone why let.. (Blah Blah Blah) effect whether you like someone.

I personally don't feel that age is horrable. I have always dated older boys, but I was more mature... at 13 or 14.

Age doesn't determine someone, it determines experiences. How can a Law be right for everyone? Don't take that out of context. Im talking about the age law. Even when someone is caught who was in a relationship with the younger person, they try not to post them on the sex offender list.

I think if someone is in high school, and surrounded by boys or girls of all grades and ages. That it should be OK. How can you help feeling attracted to that person? You can't sit there and say.. "Well, we have everything in common.. but OH NO, we can't date cause your 2 or 3 years older then me. " Love comes in all packages, and I know there is always a possibility of a older man preying on a young female. But Im saying high school should be OK. Not a 21 year old dating a 14 year old.. Does that makes sense?

Tolerance, to further add, while I don't have daughters directly, my present girlfriend has 2. We were discussing what ifs 2 nights ago, and we were setting rules we think were fair. When we got to dating, she asked when the age I would want them to date at was, I said 18 right off the bat ha ha. Surprising, she agreed because she didn't date until she was 18. So I think I lucked out ha ha!

Quote:

Hmm... think outside of the box.

That's the thinking that leads to living in a box, 15 years to life!! Play it safe, and ask your parents first, before you jump out of that box. That's maturity!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabbit91

2 years is not a big barrier - that is what im saying.

Maturity is more important then a 'number.'

If a 16year old with alot of maturity is in a relationship with a 20 year old with maturity what is the problem? (besides an invisible -age difference?)

Rather then a 20 year old who is extremely immature in a relationship with a 20 yearold who is also immature?

Hmm... think outside of the box.

The point is that its NOT an invisible number. The fact is that age DOES matter, both legally and practically, when one party is a legal adult and the other is a legal minor. And all the teenage romanticists who want to believe that true love conquers all, need a wake up call.

Comment on talaniman's post

Agreed, I am very comfy in my Best buy box.

Quote:

I think if someone is in high school, and surrounded by boys or girls of all grades and ages. That it should be OK.

Lets put the law aside for a second, when in doubt ask your parents, that's what makes it OK, or not. What, scared of what they will say??

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabbit91

Are you guys 2years or 3 years apart?

Like is she turning 15 really soon? while your not turning 18 till next year?

Anyways- I think its ok, you can't get each other pregnant. The maturity levels might be a tad uneven. But if your both mature enough I say age has no limits.

May I ask where you live?

I live in the midlands... and she is 15 before I turn 18

He's just some punk kid who thinks he knows everything. *shakes head at future generation*

I hope the first guy who tries to date my daughter understands he will get a 12 page novel on "HOW TO TREAT MY DAUGHTER" and the last line will read "I have a shotgun, shovel and 12 acres of land.....They WILL NOT find you...Have a nice night"

Comment on drummergirl6's post

Enjoy the ReP

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabbit91

2 years is not a big barrier - that is what im saying.

Maturity is more important then a 'number.'

If a 16year old with alot of maturity is in a relationship with a 20 year old with maturity what is the problem? (besides an invisible -age difference?)

Rather then a 20 year old who is extremely immature in a relationship with a 20 yearold who is also immature?

Hmm... think outside of the box.

Part of the problem here is that it is NOT a 16 year old and a 20 year old. Have you "read" the OP? As far as maturity is concerned, a 17 year old, if at a proper maturity level, would know better than to engage in a relationship with a CHILD!

This has nothing to do with "pregnancy". It has everything to do with the "life" on a young girl who has yet to figure out herself. Leave the gender out of this for a minute, although there is a whole different discussion on the that part of it. A 14 year old girl cannot informatively make life changing decisions based on experience with the lack of maturity that comes with that age. Bottom line, IT IS WRONG, on so many levels!

Comment on ScottGem's post

Good answer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

He's just some punk kid who thinks he knows everything. *shakes head at future generation*

I hope the first guy who tries to date my daughter understands he will get a 12 page novel on "HOW TO TREAT MY DAUGHTER" and the last line will read "I have a shotgun, shovel and 12 acres of land.....They WILL NOT find you...Have a nice night"

Do you have room on those 12 acres for the first guy that dates my daughter? ;)

In regards to Rabbit, hopefully the mods are watching him, he has given very bad advice on allot of threads, I'm actually surprised he's still here.

Comment on starbuck8's post

Frappuccino at starbucks... yummeh!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

He's just some punk kid who thinks he knows everything. *shakes head at future generation*

I hope the first guy who tries to date my daughter understands he will get a 12 page novel on "HOW TO TREAT MY DAUGHTER" and the last line will read "I have a shotgun, shovel and 12 acres of land.....They WILL NOT find you...Have a nice night"

Lol I like that

I most certainly do, bring a shovel, we can bury together

But cheers for your comments.. an we are just friends an that's how it will stay so thanks xx :)

Comment on Altenweg's post

Bugs Bunny - "wheres that wabbit at" haha <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by drummergirl6

but cheers for ur comments.. an we are just friends an thats how it will stay so thanks xx :)

I'm glad to hear that. I'm also glad that you took our comments the way they were intended, to help you and your friend. You will meet many people in your life, and many of them will turn out to be just another experience, until you meet the one that will change your life. You are still young as well, but as you get older you'll understand why we give the advice we do.

Good luck. :)

Congrats on making the right decision drummer, sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted but eventually you will find the right person.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

I most certainly do, bring a shovel, we can bury together

I'll bring a tarp, or would a body bag be better?

Kidding people, really, just kidding! :D :eek:

Tarp is good

And yes, this is nothing more than good clean fun... But my note will still read that, just maybe worded differently for legal purposes

Yeah.. I think it's the right decision I didn't know what to do about her an I didn't know what was right and wrong about it as I see her as she is an she a wicked person... but yeah I understand why you say what you do an thanks

Romefalls, my mother was okay with me dating at 16 but my father was against it. Even though I was allow to date it was a process. My parents had to meet him and then my dad at to have a private meeting with him. It was worst then get a job and being interview and you don't even what to know what he said or did to them. Next, one of parent had to to with us whenever we went out and I hated when my father went because all he talked about was his gun collection. It got to the point where I did not want to date but my daughter father is going be the same way.

To kissme, age does not matter once you're an adult. Your 22 dating an 37 year old and he can't go to jail and your mature enough to handle that. Your have more than a 10 years difference. So would you allow your 14 year old to date an 24 year old? If someone that age was even interested in someone that young then something is wrong with that guy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

tarp is good

And yes, this is nothing more than good clean fun...But my note will still read that, just maybe worded differently for legal purposes

Soo.. how old is your daughter?

My girlfriends daughter is 5 years old. We were discussing what ifs, because I do plan on spending considerable time with my girlfriend so we were talking about the future as mature adults and determining how each other feel about boundries and such.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tolerance

Romefalls, my mother was okay with me dating at 16 but my father was aganist it. Even though I was allow to date it was a process. My parents had to meet him and then my dad at to have a private meeting with him. It was worst then get a job and being interview and you don't even what to know what he said or did to them. Next, one of parent had to to with us whenever we went out and I hated when my father went because all he talked about was his gun collection. It got to the point where I did not want to date but my daughter father is going be the same way.

To kissme, age does not matter once your an adult. Your 22 dating an 37 year old and he can't go to jail and your mature enough to handle that. Your have more than a 10 years difference. So would you allow your 14 year old to date an 24 year old? If someone that age was even interested in someone that young then something is wrong with that guy.

Now, that's something I might be able to be okay with. Supervised dating, I like the idea of that.

Rabbit91, I hope all 16 years old don't act like you. How are grades in school?

LMAO, Im only 21, if you want to use comparison.. please count correctly. Only 7 years since I was 14.

And the age difference between me and my boyfriend is 16 years.

There is a difference, yes I see that. But what's in high school should be OK. They wouldn't put high schoolers and elementary kids together due to maturity levels. So high school, they are about the same in maturity.

I agree with meeting of parents. I have always done so.. Even with this boyfriend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tolerance

Rabbit91, I hope all 16 years old don't act like you. How are grades in school?

Pretty awesome, thanks for asking.

I currently am riding on a 89 avg. and I got a scholership to go to Algonquin College. Most likely going to pursue in Firefighting but also looking at Personal training and/or becoming a Professional Athlete. :p

And yourself?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabbit91

Pretty awesome, thanks for asking.

I currently am riding on a 89 avg. and I got a scholership to go to Algonquin College. Most likely going to pursue in Firefighting but also looking at Personal training and/or becoming a Professional Athlete. :p

And yourself?

Cool.. I'm studying sport development I'm looking into personal trainer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabbit91

Soo.. how old is your daughter?

That question just creeped me right out! I believe you may be a predator yourself.

:eek: Lock up your daughters people!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabbit91

Pretty awesome, thanks for asking.

I currently am riding on a 89 avg. and I got a scholership to go to Algonquin College. Most likely going to pursue in Firefighting but also looking at Personal training and/or becoming a Professional Athlete. :p

And yourself?

Sure hope you don't try and date girls that aren't legal. Would hate to see you screw up your future because of it

Ok you guys, this post wasent meant for a lets pick on Rabbit. Despite him acting very immature latley. Lets move on.

Kissme, I am not picking on him(if you said it towards me, which I doubt sweetie lol) I was simply answering his questions and then giving him food for thought