Ask Me Help Desk - How old is too old?

Bottom line is miss lovely is the one who will make the choice.
Miss lovely you seem like you like this guy bottom line, no one is going to change your mind.
So if you like him just try first by getting a little closer to him (not like making out and all).
Meet his family, have him meet your family even if it is with other people too so its not akward.
If he declines either one then you should just give it up.
The most important people in your life should always be family.

Did this guy ever actually ask you out on a date or are you just liking him..

We really like each other and we figured this out last night(not sex)

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Why? Is there something you are ashamed of? If you are keeping this relationship a secret from your family, doesn't that tell you something? Sure screams out to me.

Sorry, but a 28 year old having a relationship with a 17 yr old DOES have a few screws that need tightening. Too bad you don't recognize it.

I do not tell my family anything about my love life it is none of their business

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chery

OK, this is what you came to us for in this thread.
Then we asked you if he was chasing you, you said You were chasing him.
Throughout this you insisted that you wanted a Man and not a Boy..
We told you of the possible consequences and asked if your parents were aware..
You don't want your family to know your intentions, but you are certain that if you get hurt by anyone, they will beat the crap out of whomever..

Now.. you want FUN, someone to talk with, go places with...
you did not state what kind of FUN.. and fun to a grown man includes SEX, like it or not.. that's just FACT.
you did not state what you wanted to 'converse' about.. school?, economics, history, art, etc.
you did not state what places you wanted to go to with him.. where do you want to go that you cannot go by yourself or with friends?..

I think you have a canvas in front of you and don't know with which color you want to paint with. We all have to start with an idea, and I think yours' is a fantasy that will only lead you on a very dangerous journey.

You are looking for something, but, in my opinion.. you are looking in the wrong place.

Boys are not the only ones with one-track minds.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_15_57.gif

Maybe if I had friends that weren't druggies I would hang out with them but nooo
And I stopped taling to all of them because I did not want to go down that road

Dear, sorry that there are nothing but 'druggies' around.

Try spending your free time somewhere nicer. Wonder off to a nice park or mall, meet new people somehow. You are not tied to your neighborhood or public school all day, so do a little searching.

Join a class or activity after school and get your parents to take you. Tell your parents you need something more to keep you busy and happy.

Good luck.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

My male friend keeps me busy and happy:]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

my male friend keeps me busy and and happy:]

It sounds to me as if you no longer have to do any chasing. Just be fair to him and don't let him jeapordize himself or you legally. Make darned sure that you do only what you want to do and do not bough down to pressure from anyone.

Be happy.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Thank you I will make sure I do what I want to and I'm not going to do anything that would put him in a perdiciment because I care for him

Does this guy know you are a minor?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Does this guy know you are a minor?

Yes he does and he doesn't care.
AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!
If your going to keep giving me negative feedback I would love for you to stop

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

yes he does and he doesn't care.
AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!
if your going to keep giving me negitive feedback i would love for you to stop

So we are back to a 28 yr old man taking up with a minor. Sorry but age is not just a number when we are dealing with an adult and a minor. The both of you can keep telling each other that as much as you want to try and convince yourselves. But its not going to change the realities.

And no we will not stop. Even if your situation is as you state it. Even if your relationship bucks the odds and is successful, it represents the exception. The vast majority of the time an adult taking up with a minor is about exploitation. And I, for one, am not going to let someone paint a rosy pictire of it that may lead to some kid being exploited.

It is not like we are going to have sex I'm smarter than that

Quote:

Originally Posted by LearningAsIGo

If you're 17, don't date anyone older that 19 TOPS. I'm 28 and even the thought of dating someone your age freaks me out. My brother is 27 and he would never date someone under age 21, let alone someone in High School.

Try and look at it this way. If YOU see guys your age as immature... why doesn't this 28 year old see people your age as immature? If you think 17 yr olds are immature now, how do you think you'll feel when YOU'RE 28?
Believe me when I say, if a 28 yr old man is showing interest in someone your age, HE'S immature.

Truth time; bottom line: 99.999% of these guys want sex. It's a reality, she is flatted and it feeds her ego that someone his age is interested. The result can only be disastrous for her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

well i'm 17 and i was wondering what should my age cut off limit be

Read this article.. its hilarious but true :D

Man, 37, marries 69-year-old woman

An older woman with a younger man is more honest, but you know, it's a lot creepier when men don't date their own age, its not like his age group is "old" they are still very young, and there are plenty around. They also look very young, not old, at his age.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Truth time; bottom line: 99.999% of these guys want sex. It's a reality, .

You know, I wish I could hotly deny that, and believe there are some men left that only want platonic friendship, but I have to agree with you. Every male "friend" I have wants to have sex.

Its very depressing. I mean, there isn't a man out there that doesn't have designs on a woman.. its almost safe to say "all men" because it just seems like all men, we can't meet all the men in the world, but we know for sure they don't want to be our friend to play scrabble or knit sweaters with us. Unless the woman is so unattractive that he just can't go for it, he will go for it, which is no compliment at all. MANY Men will F anything if given half a chance and have no respect for the fact that a female is a minor. That's tells you their character and what kind of person they are, and is enough to get away from them.

Most girls will go for the "older guy" because they think he is different and exciting and not realizing he's really a pedophile.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Truth time; bottom line: 99.999% of these guys want sex. It's a reality, she is flatted and it feeds her ego that someone his age is interested. The end result can only be disastrous for her.

:mad:

Ummm are you in his mind?
Do you know that he only wants sex?
NO I THINK NOT

And about me being flatter yes I am but my ego has nothing to do with the way I feel about this man

Wow you people are amazing

Ask yourself; why do you think there is this law concerning minors in the first place?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

wow you people are amazing

Again I think what you are missing is that all of us responding to you here are older then you, have more life experience then you do and have seen things like this played out before with steady results.

You can believe whatever you would like to believe. No one is saying that are of the things we are saying are directly applicable to this 28 year old man. We are however saying that there is a high chance that if he reciprocates your feelings it will be to take advantage of you in some fashion.

Ultimately you will make up your own mind which is fine no one can force you to do something one way or another (besides your family since you are still a minor). But it would be irresponsible of all of us on here to not provide you with some advice from what WE have seen in our lives.

Maybe you both will have a lovely platonic friendship that will never blossom into romance or maybe it will as you get older. Maybe we are all wrong. But maybe just maybe we all know what we are talking about just a little, itsy bit.

I am free to date him
We just cannot have SEX
And quite frankly i have no intentions to until i'm legal i do not want to get him in trouble
Do you think i am unaware of the lawws?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

I AM FREE TO DATE HIM
WE JUST CANNOT HAVE SEX
AND QUITE FRANKLY I HAVE NO INTENTIONS TO UNTIL I'M LEGAL I DO NOT WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE
DO YOU THINK I AM UNAWARE OF THE LAWWS?

Its him that would get in trouble, not you.

What do you think of a 35 yr old woman dating a 17 or 18 yr old? What is your first reaction to this?

Quote:

Originally Posted by cerulean

Its him that would get in trouble, not you.

What do you think of a 35 yr old woman dating a 17 or 18 yr old? What is your first reaction to this?

Sorry I made a typo I meant him...

It doesn't bother me

I have a question. You said that you were pursuing this older guy. Where did you guys meet? Has he even been responsive to your pursuit?

Quote:

Originally Posted by cerulean

You know, I wish I could hotly deny that, and believe there are some men left that only want platonic friendship, but i have to agree with you. Every male "friend" I have wants to have sex.

Its very depressing. I mean, there isn't a man out there that doesn't have designs on a woman.. its almost safe to say "all men" because it just seems like all men, we can't meet all the men in the world, but we know for sure they don't want to be our friend to play scrabble or knit sweaters with us. Unless the woman is so unattractive that he just can't go for it, he will go for it, which is no compliment at all. MANY Men will F anything if given half a chance and have no respect for the fact that a female is a minor. Thats tells you their character and what kind of person they are, and is enough to get away from them. Once you are with him, how will you trust him around other underage girls once you are not underage anymore? You will always remember how you met him. Men are entirely too transparent.

Well... that is not quite what I meant Cerulean.

Yes I believe that he told her the "dirty" truth in "When Harry met Sally", but there IS an override. Men are hard wired a bit differently than most women (not all) and yes we do probably consider sex "every 6 seconds or so."

But there are are guys like myself who channel that desire to the woman we love and passionately try to show her in this and many ways that that we love only one. And all of us are not so immature as to chase every nice shaped skirt that may smile and wink at us.

That sex drive, when handled properly and concentrated to only her has given me the love of my life and I waited a long time for her. And she lets me know everyday that she is happy and content.

No offense,
Stringer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Well......that is not quite what I meant Cerulean.

Yes I believe that he told her the "dirty" truth in "When Harry met Sally", but there IS an override. Men are hard wired a bit differently than most women (not all) and yes we do probably consider sex "every 6 seconds or so."

But there are are guys like myself who channel that desire to the woman we love and passionately try to show her in this and many ways that that we love only one. And all of us are not so immature as to chase every nice shaped skirt that may smile and wink at us.

That sex drive, when handled properly and concentrated to only her has given me the love of my life and I waited a long time for her. And she lets me know everyday that she is happy and content.

No offense,
Stringer

*nods*.. every 6 seconds eh? And why do men always say that its us women who are overly hormonal. Lol:rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by cerulean

*nods*.. every 6 seconds eh? and why do men always say that its us women who are overly hormonal. lol:rolleyes:

Please read my post again, I was attempting to say that the facts of life are what they are.

Sex dive is there; would you want to be in a serious relationship without it?

One of the many differences between us and the animals is that we have the ability to reason and love. (Please no arguments about animals' ability to love.)

I don't know if you will understand what I mean here but from a mans point of view; it is basic. I have doubts about any man that says when he sees a beautiful woman that he doesn't look. I don't care what his age is (at least over maybe 13/14) he is "hard wired" possibly in his DNA to appreciate the what he sees.

I am not so shallow, and please don't judge me by taking this post out of context. Take the time to review my previous posts.

Thanks,

Stringer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Please read my post again, I was attempting to say that the facts of life are what they are.

Sex dive is there; would you want to be in a serious relationship without it?

One of the many differences between us and the animals is that we have the ability to reason and love. (Please no arguments about animals' ability to love.)

I don't know if you will understand what I mean here but from a mans point of view; it is basic. I have doubts about any man that says when he sees a beautiful woman that he doesn't look. I don't care what his age is (at least over maybe 13/14) he is "hard wired" possibly in his DNA to appreciate the what he sees.

I am not so shallow, and please don't judge me by taking this post out of context. Take the time to review my previous posts.

Thanks,

Stringer

I was JOKING. :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by cerulean

I was JOKING. :rolleyes:

Joking..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer

Joking............?

Yes, it had nothing to do with you, it had to do with the comment that its been said that men think of sex every 6 seconds.

I have often heard that men think women are hormonal, that perhaps they can't be "president" etc. because of those "crazy hormones". etc. etc. However, if men are thinking of sex every 6 seconds, the cause is a very powerful hormone called testosterone, that apparently has total control of men's minds! Lol

I would hate to feel that way all the time! Ugh!! I would feel as though my body is in an overwhelming way, ruling the way I feel, instead of me controlling my mind and body. I am the soul in charge of this carriage, its not meant to be the other way around.

Anyway.. I've never heard or read anyone talk about men's hormones, because it explains why men feel as they do, all I ever read is men talking about women's hormones.

So I made a joke about that. Not you. Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

I have a question. You said that you were pursuing this older guy. Where did you guys meet? Has he even been responsive to your pursuit?

We met online.
And yes he has been and he understands that I'm not "easy"
And he respects that

If everything is innocent then I don't understand why you haven't said anything to your parents.

That to me is a red flag. If you don't think it's a big deal then you should be okay with telling people about the guy in your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

If everything is innocent then I don't understand why you haven't said anything to your parents.

That to me is a red flag. If you don't think its a big deal then you should be okay with telling people about the guy in your life.

Because me and my mom are not close like that
She minds her business and I mind mine

But you said if anything bad was to happen they would come after the guy with a fury. That implies some sort of closeness.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

my father is a dead beat and no i am not looking to replace him
and my male friend does not have screws loose thank you very much

I can't help but giggle..

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

But you said if anything bad was to happen they would come after the guy with a fury. That implies some sort of closeness.

Yes I did say that but it is not the closeness where I tell my mom who I'm dating or talking to

I would tell them eventually when I knew we were steady

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

we met online.
and yes he has been and he understands that i'm not "easy"
and he respects that

Oh my goodness another red flag.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss lovley

we met online.
and yes he has been and he understands that i'm not "easy"
and he respects that

Yet another RED flag. Where online? Were you hanging out in a adult area or was he hanging out in a teen area? Was he aware of your age from the beginning?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Yet another RED flag. Where online? Were you hanging out in a adult area or was he hanging out in a teen area? Was he aware of your age from the beginning?

I was playing pool on Yahoo (mixed crowd) no specific age prefrence
And yes he was aware of my age

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss lovely

yes he does and he doesn't care.
AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!
if your going to keep giving me negative feedback i would love for you to stop

Of course he doesn't care. You meet this 28 year old guy ONLINE, he knows you are a minor and doesn't care. This guy is a creep. I wonder how long he'll hang around when he figures out he's not getting any.
Or maybe he will hang around because he can't deal with women his own age.
I know you're tired of the negative, but you asked the question and this guy is a creep.
I'll bet he won't be taking you home introducing his 17 year old friend to his family. This is wrong on a whole lot of levels.
You won't like this, but I think if you had gotten positive attention from your father, we would not be having this conversation. In fact I bet if your father knew about this guy, he would hit the ceiling. I know if you were my daughter, I and my husband would be paying Mr. Wonderful a visit a long with the police.

New piece to the puzzle scroll to #7

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...le-129948.html

You guys have never even met?? How do you even know he is who he says he is? He could be a 50 year old pervert trolling for young girls. He could be making it all up. I know you don't want to hear this but you need to tread VERY lightly here.