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Hunny when you want the answer to something like this be specific on what age range you want it from
Ex. 14-18 && 18-25 && 25-dirt
Because the older people have different views then us unger people just because they are parents they think they know everything about relationships and young people's feelings
Just a quick FYI : Some people do specify what age range they want to answer their question, but this is a public forum and anyone is free to answer. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
Not saying that your not but I don't want to give her advise and have people yelling at me for it
Don't think about him go out with your friends. Avoid him
Why don't you go out with this guy to the library check out "Harry Potter".
Read it together...
Then tell me about it?
:D
That's what you can do with him, no more than that okay, hunny? :)
And don't forget to tell me about the story of Harry!;)
Would you let your 11 year old daughter go out with a 16 year old? Alone? :mad:Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
No we don't think we know everything, but we do KNOW a lot more than a little girl. You forget that we have lived through what you children are now going through. We have the benefit of experience that you just don't have. We also come at questions like this from a more realistic and secure perspective. People ask questions here because they want advice from people with experience.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
You get "yelled" at for bad advice. So try respecting and learning from your elders instead of dismissing their advice as coming from old fogeys.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
One of the major problems with our society today is that children are not being allowed to be children. They are being forced to grow up WAY too soon. There bodies are developing earlier, their heads are filled with a romanticized concept of love and relationships. They are being fed false examples through movies and TV that they are being encouraged to emulate before they are emotionally and mentally ready.
An 11 year old, even in today's climate is NOT emotionally ready for a serious relationship. Such a child needs to be protected for a few years more, before they can fly on their own. The social development process needs to take time and proceed in stages. At 11 a girl should be just starting to socialize with boys but in group activities. In 2-3 years this can progress to one on one dating, but still within a peer group.
A boy of 16 at this point would be looking for a serious relationship within their own peer group. If they venture out of their peer group it is susually with exploitation in mind.
Sure a 16 yr old boy would be flattered by the adoration of an 11 yr old girl. They might even consider a brief relationship because of it. But more likely, they are thinking what will she do to get me to date her? And even if he is a gentleman, he will soon tire of the juvenile nature of the 11 yr old and she will get hurt that way.
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Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
Yeah, we have different views. Why, because we have already experienced what you are just starting to experience. Haven't you ever heard... if you knew then what you know now?
We know about young people's feelings cause we were young once too. How do you thing we got to where we are today. Do you think we were born parents? Do you think we were born older? Nope kiddo, we've walked in your shoes already.
Yup, she probably would.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
I'm so surprised how this 11 year old girl is asking if she should date this guy... my little sister is 11 and she loves to go to build a bear,playing with her Bratz dolls and she has never even talked about boys... she's often saying how girls her age are kissing guys at school... this generation is making me sick... honestly truly sick... all these kids are growing super fast... not even when I was 11 I didn't even know what sex was... I had my first kiss at 16
Yes I would because there is this thing called trust and I'd have itQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
What is that supposed to meanQuote:
Originally Posted by J_9
I'll do anything to be my daughters best friend I do not want to the mother that is hated by her children and if that means I have to let my dughter go out with a 16 yr old then I would have to have her word that she would not sleep with him
The trust issue wouldn't be with your 11 year old daughter, it would be with the 16 year old she would be wanting to date. We can always trust our kids to some extent, but its hard to trust others, especially when we do not know them.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
I know you think you would let your 11 year old daughter date a 16 year old now, but when you actually experience raising kids I can almost guarantee you will change your mind. :)
I guarantee I won't because when I was eleven I hated my mother for not letting me do what I wanted to do and I'm not going to make my daughter go through that
You can be her friend and still set boundaries. If you let her do whatever she wants she could run all over you, do drugs, have sex, get pregnant or even worse, end up in a situation she doesn't want to be in. Kids have to have limits.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
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Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
Well it appears you haven't grown up much if you that's how you feel. ALL 11 year olds go through hating their parents for putting restrictions on them. Invariably, when these 11 yr olds grow up, they realize how much their parents loved them by sticking to their guns and protecting their children even when it may have alienated them. You can try to be your child's "best friend", but not at the expense of their safety. Children will never admit it, but they need restrictions, they need limits, otherwise they don't learn.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
You WILL change your tune when you actually have grown up and do have an 11 yr old.
Exactly! LOL, I have never hated my family. They are always reasonable, knowledgeable,well educated and understanding. Just like you Scott.:)Quote:
Children will never admit it, but they need restrictions, they need limits, otherwise they don't learn.
I think you need to look at the age difference where he is 16 he is going to be wanting to do more stuff that you may not be able to do at your age 2 years time he is going to be able to go out drinking and getting out there if you know what I mean. While you will be 13 and not going to be able to do these things personaly I can't see that it would work. But as everyone does they have there opinions and this is how I see it. I think you would end up being hurt in the long run. But don't throw the friendship away because if you both truly like each other this way then I'm sure that time will tell if its meant to be. X
Who the heck are you to tell me I haven't grown up?Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
You just don't get it, do you. I can and will tell you whatever I can justify based on what YOU post. When you post things that reflect immaturity (as you have), then I can and will point them out. I am someone who has experienced life, who has observed human nature and behavior and has spent a significant amount of time on sites like this. That experience and the knowledge gained as part of it, give me the right to make such comments. But even more YOUR actions give me that right. Someone who has grown up would KNOW that its more important to protect your children then to be their friend.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
Your argumentative and immature responses tells it all. Parents don't need to be friends to their kids, and the good parents do what they have to do, to protect their children from harm, whether they get mad about it or not. This whole thread has become about you, a 17 year old who would argue with adults and parents about how to raise children. Don't you think enough is enough, and maybe you should show the good sense to stop posting as you will change no ones mind. :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
at 11, I would be tempted to wring his (the 16yr olds) neck if I even thought he had interest in my daughter, by the way, my daughter is 13. And I still remember what was on my mind at the age of 16. I'll give you a hint it was a 3 letter word that began with an S and ended with a X and somewhere in the middle was , hmm, lets see which letter that was, ohh, yeah, it was an E!! That spelled SEX, wake up world!!
Kids are having Kids, and the Kids parents find out too late they should have been raising their kids, because now they have to help raise their grandchildren as well, and think, What Happened?
Enjoy your childhood girl. U can date when u're older and you'll be certain that the guy really likes u... and if he really loves u as he said he does... he'd wait for u
Older people don't understand? Some older kids have been trying to hang out with younger kids since I can remember. Its not just your generation. Not to mention, some of the "older people" have kids and know how they would deal with this if it was going on with one of their kids.Quote:
Originally Posted by despreteneedtobeblonde
It is not normal for a 16 year old to want to hang out with an 11 year old, period. She can "truly believe" that he doesn't want sex all she wants, but nobody knows what he wants besides him. People are capable of lying, so he can lie to her all he wants about not wanting sex, and if she believes him, she could be put in a situation she doesn't want to be in. Suggesting to continue with this boy is bad advice, in my book anyway.
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Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
I will assume you are actually a teen pretending to be a parent, or at least I hope and pray you are, no real parent should ever be more concerned about being a "friend" than being a parent.
You have a job and a responsibility, it often means saying NO and not letting children do things.
If you are really a parent I feel sorry for your child.
I have to say, I'm the around the same age as you and I have a crush on a 17 year old boy, except he doesn't like me back, which makes it normal for me to just linger and think about him. I'm sorry but it's not really normal for him to like you back.
The guy I like doesn't like me back and makes sure to be very careful around me so I don't get ideas and he ends up hurting a confused little kid's feelings.
Go have a sleepover with some friends or whatever, keeps your mind off things!:p
Uhm... thats not wise... and your "crush" is DESPRATE.Quote:
Originally Posted by iminovewithryan281
You can date him for a while but it will be very inconvenient and embarrassing to ask your Mom or Dad for ride down to prison to see your boyfriend. The Law frowns on such age differences.
Just so everyone is aware of this, the original poster has not so much as logged in since:Quote:
Last Activity: Jul 13, 2007 10:55 AM
Your age difference is too great at this time.
As you get older, the acceptable age difference widens.
An 11 year old shouldn't be dating, I had a girlfriend at somewhere between 13 and 15, and she tore my heart out, then the next time I see her, she hooks me up with her best friend, who also tore my heart out.
I'm 16, and itd be wrong for me to even think about an 11 year old, let alone go out with one, and any other 16 year old guy who does that, well, if I weren't a pacifist, id deck him lolz, its sort of wrong and not very legal and sort of... pedoish.
Just a repeat of the answer that I just posted.
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Just so everyone is aware of this, the original poster has not so much as logged in since:
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Last Activity: Jul 13, 2007 10:55 AM
Then we'll never know if true love bloomed or she threw him over for a 17 yr with better rims...Quote:
Originally Posted by Clough
Um yea doesn't matter by the age
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Originally Posted by kween get krump
Are you actually saying that a 12 year old could date a 22 year old when you say this?
I think he could get in serious trouble for dating you, especially if your parents don't agree.
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS IM 13 grown ups would never ever think we can be in love this early but we have I know how it feels you will give anything for their life and you think about them every minute of the day and think about them until you fall asleep then dream about them every night and when your sad you just want to snuggle up with them right then and there and having sex with them comes to your mind but MOST OF US are smart enough to just be physically flirtatious but you only do these things because it feels right not that to be cool or ANYTHING so if you think 11 year old are just little kids who play with barbies and go to soccer practice because WE Aren't THAT INNOCENT!!
If you love him don't let anything stop you but don't do stupid things like having sex... wait till your married!!
What if her parents say NO, what should she do then? Disobey? Is it worth him getting into big trouble??
Thing is cpalmist, kids aren't as mature as they were then, it's a proven fact.
You can have kids, when you are both holding a solid, adults career, living in your own place, and paying tax, that way you can properly support the child. That's my opinion, and 12 in this day and age, is way to early.
I'm not a full grown up, I'm only 16, and I understand how it feels. But I'm a realist.
Girl I understand exactly what your going through because I lived that reality once too, I was 12 and I Thought I luved a 16yr old. But hence the word, "Thought." In my advice I suggust you wate to date, both of you, if you really love each other you will wait. The boy I liked said he loved me back too but turns out all he wanted was something I couldn't give, sex, and chances are, that's going to be a subject your man is going to want to consider too soon for you as well. I'm not hating and Im not dissing you or your man but I suggust you wait and see how things work out as you 2 being friends if things don't go so well, being friends is perfectly fine for you, and if things go well then maybe you could date but I think you should wait till you're a little older. I also don't know how well the thought of an 11 yr old and a 16 yr old dating will fly with the Mr. and Mrs. (rents) So think about my advice and take it into consideration because I know from experience.
Much Luv -
Sarah<3
[[Short and Sweet]]
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