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Originally Posted by rockerchick_682

What happened to just crying it out and talking it over with a good friend?

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Sometimes people can't so they turn to other 'coping' mechanisms. Some people will drink heavily or engange in risky behaviour or delibrately self harm. It is usually a way of either gaining control over your own body, punishing yourself or relieving tension. It can be very addictive - so after the initial trigger it can be hard to stop.

Unfortunately I speak from a lot of personal experience with DSH* ( myself and most of my friends) yeah its not good. People judge others very harshly, like the way you were talking. A lot of people do everything they can to hide their scars/pain. Perhaps one of your friends does it and you don't even know.

Also you mention risk of life, most people don't risk their lives in any serious way- especially those who it is about control. I think with younger children that can be more of a worry but most people are perfectly aware of how much their body can take.

I'm glad you have healthy ways to deal with your troubles, but please try not to be so harsh to those unfortunate enough not to.

* I tend to say deliberate self harm as this covers more than cutting - bruising, eating disorders, burns, breaking bones etc your website covers the range well

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Originally Posted by templelane

Sometimes people can't so they turn to other 'coping' mechanisms. Some people will drink heavily or engange in risky behaviour or delibrately self harm. It is usually a way of either gaining control over your own body, punishing yourself or relieving tension. It can be very addictive - so after the initial trigger it can be hard to stop.

Unfortunatley I speak from a lot of personal experience with DSH* ( myself and most of my friends) yeah its not good. People judge others very harshly, like the way you were talking. A lot of people do everything they can to hide their scars/pain. Perhaps one of your friends does it and you don't even know.

Also you mention risk of life, most people don't risk their lives in any serious way- especially those who it is about control. I think with younger children that can be more of a worry but most people are perfectly aware of how much their body can take.

I'm glad you have healthy ways to deal with your troubles, but please try not to be so harsh to those unfortunate enough not to.

* I tend to say deliberate self harm as this covers more than cutting - bruising, eating disorders, burns, breaking bones ect your website covers the range well

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I'll be more open-minded in the future. If I compare it to OCD, it makes sense. I've just never thought of cutting in that way, I had one friend who cut, but she showed her scars to everyone she knew. I was there for her and comforted her, but after a while she just stopped. Thank you for explaining it to me ^_^

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Originally Posted by malleohheh

I know a 13 year old who claims emo, she writes terrible stories about murder, blood, rape and more, she says she cuts herself, but i am hundreds of miles away and only have recently met her through my husband, (its his sister) he thinks she disturbed, and tries to talk to her to get to know her so he can help her. she says she likes me better, and thinks he is weird. i thought it was a faze thing like the goth i went through in high school, but she claims to have slit her wrists over something (i think it is) dumb, not a serious problem that you would normally think is why someone would do such a thing. i have an inkling feelings that she is saying she did for attention, or to shock me, but if she is telling me the truth this is a dangerous situation, what if she is vying for attention and i take it serious, will she really do it? what if its serious and i don't do anything, will she really do it? i don't know if i should take her serious or not, she told me over an email she knows my husband will see, but said not to tell him, i am so confused! i told her she could trust me, but i feel i have to tell my husband! Attention or dangerous?

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she maybe doing it for attention jsut for u to like her or something..but she maybe really doing it. look at her activity when you meet her or something. maybe call ehr up & talk about it. tell her to tell the truth

she may be doing it for attention, but dont make the mistake of thinking doing it for attention makes it any less dangerous. Slitting your wrists for attention or slitting your wrists out of self hate is still slitting your wrists.
I would not recomend betraying her trust, but only because i have had a bad experience when such a betrayal extended my own depression, due to the people who ended up finding out being people who have limited understanding, and forceful ways of dealing with it. It is best if she were to come to her own decision to get help, instead of it being forced on her, try to encourage her to get help. If its for attention, then try to make her understand that she can get positive attention, highlight some goods things about her, so she can see that she can get positive attention, by sharing her good qualities and talents with others. If its out of self hate or depression, help her to get help. The best thing for a depressed person, in my opinion, is to realise that life is good, in my case, i eventually realised that i am surrounded by good, wonderful people, even my sadness over this chick i like not liking me back turned into happyness, that i am friends with such an amazing, lovely person.
good luck! emo is only good for lawns! not people :)

Wow... I cut myself with a knife because my parents give me problems...

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Originally Posted by TameraWentz1

wow......i cut myself with a knife because my parents give me problems.....

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Is that sarcasm? I hope so, you piss me off, you can never judge people on appearance, well maybe sometimes, but just cause a kid is a prep, doesn't mean he's a snob.

Labels serve only to create barriers, and highlight differences in the wrong way.
Labels such as "emo" "goth" etc, are bad, you should define people in a more positive way, maybe like "Artist" "singer" "preacher" "friend" "confidant" and stuff like that. Don't judge people by their faults, look for the good in everyone.

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Originally Posted by cal823

labels serve only to create barriers, and highlight differences in the wrong way.
labels such as "emo" "goth" etc, are bad, you should define people in a more positive way, maybe like "Artist" "singer" "preacher" "friend" "confidant" and stuff like that. dont judge people by their faults, look for the good in everyone.

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Aww I can't agree with you again, but that's exactly what I was trying to say, except ten times better. I hate stereotypes

I think you need to get her to talk to someone she might have some problems behind her eyes and her words she writes that no one knows about

Please don't make the situation worse she told you because she feels that she can trust you continue to e-mail with her keep her in mind continue to talk to her about her problems see IF YOU CAN GET HER to TALK with you getting her a counslor might make the situation worse than what it is comfort her let her know that she doesn't have to do that kind of stuff for attention let her know that, that is really dangerous

Remember, don't try and force her to talk to people, and don't tell people without her blessing, she will feel betrayed if you do!
Healing can only take place, if you are willing, and if you made the choice to get better.
I was depressed for a long time, and people tried to help me, tried to take it out of my hands, even betrayed my trust, but that just prolonged it.
Healing only came when I decided that I was sick of being depressed, and a close friend said the following words.
"Look, only one person can change your life, only one person can make your depression go away. You."
She made me realise that my life was in my own hands, and that only I could change these things.
The most powerful help, is self help.

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Originally Posted by malleohheh

I know a 13 year old who claims emo, she writes terrible stories about murder, blood, rape and more, she says she cuts herself, but i am hundreds of miles away and only have recently met her through my husband, (its his sister) he thinks she disturbed, and tries to talk to her to get to know her so he can help her. she says she likes me better, and thinks he is weird. i thought it was a faze thing like the goth i went through in high school, but she claims to have slit her wrists over something (i think it is) dumb, not a serious problem that you would normally think is why someone would do such a thing. i have an inkling feelings that she is saying she did for attention, or to shock me, but if she is telling me the truth this is a dangerous situation, what if she is vying for attention and i take it serious, will she really do it? what if its serious and i don't do anything, will she really do it? i don't know if i should take her serious or not, she told me over an email she knows my husband will see, but said not to tell him, i am so confused! i told her she could trust me, but i feel i have to tell my husband! Attention or dangerous?

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I am very sorry but EMO is shot for emotional hardcore she really doesn't do it because emo's consider themselves to be different from the others like listening to hawthorne heights my chemical romance secondhand serenade and alout other bands I myself am classed different from the others and I can't tell you if I have slit or if I haven't but the point is evan if I have did it it does not mean your friend should being emo means nothing about writeing about suicide or being depressed all the time yes we are more emotional then others but that does not mean we think about suicide all the time please tell your friend to stop seeking attention and she is a poser as emo's don't go around telling everyone what they do I hope this helped

Emo is a label. Don't use labels.
She's depressed, self harming, suicidal are the more proper terms. Emo is a label
Remember what we have told you in previous posts.