I agree with Odinn7... your old life is long over... there is no going back. You have a baby now... you are a parent... you have responsibilities nobody else your age you used to have fun with have.

Now you have to do a LOT of growing up... because your child depends on you. You can't be a care free teenager AND a parent... they are not compatible.

Ugh, you all sound like my parents

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by QueenLiz

I moved out of my parents house to live with my sister and her friend since they have a flat together. My sister is away visiting family, and her friend has been staying with her older brother for a week, so it's just me and Jared, and Kai has decided to stay at my house until Katie gets back. Also, is there a way I can have my old life back and still be the best mom I can be?

---

OK, Thanks for clarifying.

As odinn said, no you can't get your old life back. You have to understand and resign yourself to that. Your old life was as a teenager. That's gone as you are a mother now. With all the responsibilities and limitations that motherhood entails.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by QueenLiz

Ugh, you all sound like my parents

---

And you need to listen to them as you need to listen to us. I know you don't like it. I know you don't want to hear it. But I can't say this enough. You made bad decisions. You have to grow up and live with the consequences of those decisions. Because you made some bad decisions does not mean you can't turn your life around. You can and I hope you will. But the first step will be accepting that your life is different and working with those differences.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by QueenLiz

Ugh, you all sound like my parents

---

Well... YOU are a parent now... time to start acting like one.

Your parents are probibly quietly laughing now remembering all the hard times you gave them growing up.....now YOU will be the one getting it from your child. Sorry, I don't know ANYONE that has become a grandparent that has not felt that way.

I didn't say that to be mean.....just need to get you to see what you need to see. And the sooner you see it the better.

I want to, I want to be more mature, I love my son. But I'm 16, I can't just automatically mature. I need to take time. I'm 16 not 26! Also, according to my parents I was the good child, and Katie was the one that always gave them a hard time. But when I turned 13, thats when I became who I was before I was a mother.

This is something you should have thought about previously. This is why, at 16, you are not...nobody is, prepared to be a parent. So many kids think about how wonderful it will be to have a baby of their very own...only to wake up to a harsh reality.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by odinn7

This is something you should have thought about previously. This is why, at 16, you are not...nobody is, prepared to be a parent. So many kids think about how wonderful it will be to have a baby of their very own...only to wake up to a harsh reality.

---

I didn't know condoms could break easily, I also didn't want any children until I was way older, and I know that being a parent ain't a fun time.

Its something you have to work at. It will be a lot more work at first... but you will adjust. But no..its not going to happen overnight. But it will become second nature.

Everyones life changes when they become a parent.

I thought this is supposed to be a HELP website. I see more criticizing me for getting in this situation than helping me. Also, I originally asked how I win my friends back and get one of them to stop being jealous that I am dating their ex.

How can we possibly help you? You want us to take turns baby sitting for you so you can go out and have a fun time?

And you aren't being criticized. You are mistaking being criticized with us simply being straightforward and honest with you.

So you asked how to get your friends back and if you read through the answers, you will see it there....you don't keep proving to them that they are right about you...that is a start. Other than that, there is no answer. And how to stop one from being jealous about dating an ex? Well, you stop dating that ex otherwise, deal with it. Welcome to real life.

What do you expect... us to change diapers and babysit while you run out with friends? We don't do that, we tell you what you are doing wrong, and what you need to be doing. That's the kind of help we offer.

Read what you have been saying... YOU want to have fun with friends, YOU want your old life back. Well none of those things are going to happen, and it doesn't happen to anyone else when they become parents either. Actually what YOU want takes a back seat to what your child needs...and it will be that way for a very long time to come.

Its next to impossible because you no longer have much in common with your old friends. That's reality... its that way if you just got married and they aren't, if you have children and they don't its even MORE true. Sorry but that's reality... we have all been through this before... we are speaking from experience.

Its one of those things you need to see that we are trying to get you to see.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by odinn7

And how to stop one from being jealous about dating an ex? Well, you stop dating that ex otherwise, deal with it. Welcome to real life.

---

Hell to the no, I am not going to stop dating Kai for anyone. I love him, Jared seems to take a liking to him, my sister tells me how lucky I am. I don't care about my friends if it means ending my good relationship with him. Yeah, I sent him the nude pic, but I don't give a rat's a**.

So yeah...I see where this is all going. Have fun. I'm done playing this game.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by odinn7

So yeah...I see where this is all going. Have fun. I'm done playing this game.

---

You weren't even helping with anything. I know I need to mature, but It does not happen overnight. I got pregnant, I had a child, we all make mistakes, deal with it. Also, do you expect I would just give up one of the only two people helping me out with this?

I am going through hell right now, can't somebody help me, please

We are trying... you aren't listening and worse... want to argue about the advice.

Stop thinking like a 15 year old schoolgirl...because you aren't one any more. And we've been trying to get you to see this.

Your life changed when you became a mother. Your friends lives didn't (except for the childs fathers life). Its NOT going to be like it was last year no matter how much you wish it would.

I just read that teen mothers usually don't graduate high school, and my plans to go to a music college aren't going to happen now. What the hell have I done with my life, where did my life go wrong.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by QueenLiz

I am going through hell right now, can't somebody help me, please

---

What help do you expect from us? Yes we know you can't change overnight, but you have had more than 9 months to begin the process. We aren't telling you not be with Kai, but you need to understand that Jared comes first. Raising a child can be very rewarding, watching a child grow is one of the greatest experiences. But it's a two edged sword.

Yes we have been critical of your past mistakes, but we are trying to help you move forward, but you don't seem to want to take our advice. So I really don't understand what you expect.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by QueenLiz

I just read that teen mothers usually don't graduate high school, and my plans to go to a music college aren't going to happen now. What the hell have I done with my life, where did my life go wrong.

---

Actually, that's changing. With the proper help and determination you can not only finish high school but go on to college. But you have to understand it won't be easy and will involve a LOT of work on your part.

Your life went wrong when you decided to engage in sex without understanding the risks and consequences. But again, that doesn't mean you can't make a success. But you have to change your tune about what your priorities are.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by QueenLiz

I just read that teen mothers usually don't graduate high school, and my plans to go to a music college aren't going to happen now. What the hell have I done with my life, where did my life go wrong.

---

Many don't... You have the right idea by wanting to finish it. in fact I ENCOURAGE you to do this as soon as you are able. I also honestly hope you are able to do it, it will be a lot of work, but it will be worth it.. It will only be positive for you and your life.

It could happen IF you work hard to make it happen.

I need to get back on track after this whole thing. My boyfriend is here to help until Katie gets back, so everything is good

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by QueenLiz

UPDATE: My boyfriend told my sister I am feeling depressed, so she wanted to come back from her holiday early to check on me. I told her not to come because its an 8 hour drive. So my boyfriend is coming over, and he is going to spend the night at my place. I told him to bring wine. I'll keep updating as I go along. Also, I saw Jason's status on Facebook, he is in a relationship, makes me so depressed to think about the father of my child with another girl.

---

If Kai is so great, why are you letting yourself get upset because Jason has moved on to a new relationship? You worry about a friend who is jealous but don't understand the jealousy you are showing. It is one thing to be upset that he isn't in his child's life, but to get upset that he is with another girl is a different matter.

You still have not said anything (unless I missed it) about getting child support and custody taken care of through legal means. We are telling you to do this not out of criticism but for your welfare and Jared's. Jason may not want to be daddy today but that could change next week when the latest girlfriend finds it cool that he is a daddy or his family decides it wants to be involved in Jared's life. Jason has responsibilities just like you do. Some he can choose to keep like visitation, some he can't like providing for his child.

Your life isn't over. It is just more complicated. How close to graduating are you? Are there programs or someone to take care of Jared while you are at school? What were you planning to study in music college? Is there a different route you can take to get to your goal or new goal that may be more to your liking? Some people find paths they like better after a life changing event?

Just because you can't have your old life back, doesn't mean you can't have a better life ahead. Part of that better life is your attitude and how you behave and understanding that good friends may get upset but they will come back after they have calmed down. Until they do, you become involved in other things and make new friends.

Something to think about, when you asked a question here, you gained a community of people who care. We want to see you succeed in your life.