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-   -   I'm 6 mounths Pregnant At 16! How do I Tell My Mom? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=78518)

  • Apr 6, 2007, 07:11 PM
    JoeCanada76
    6 months is too late. She can not force you to do anything. It is your choice not hers. No, you are not going to lose your baby.
  • Apr 6, 2007, 07:16 PM
    Matt3046
    It is your baby, and your body, and your life. Keep your baby and love it.
  • Apr 6, 2007, 07:44 PM
    alkalineangel
    No one can force you hon, and you are far too along anyway. I suggest that you go and see a clinic. They can help you research other options. Not necessarily adoption if you want to keep the baby (although as hard as it may seem, I think this would be your best answer, given your age) but also ways to get medical attention. I don't know if you live in the states or not, but the government will help you with your hospital bills and with food and medicine for the baby. (Look up Passport (free health insurance), & WIC (food stamps, etc) online.) They also can direct you to someone to talk to to help you deal with your mother in a sensible way so as not to stress yourself out and cause harm to you or your baby. Stay strong. Things will work out. Even when it seems rough. But the main thing is getting to a doctor and making sure that baby is healthy and you are too.
  • Apr 6, 2007, 07:46 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    She can not force you, also don't beleve anything they tell you at the clinic if she tries to make you go. Just don't go, the county health dept can help arrange medical checkups and the WIC normally also.

    Sadly while I normally believe in listening to your parents, when she is over reacting and lying to you, at times you will have to be the adult when the parent is not.
  • Apr 6, 2007, 07:55 PM
    alkalineangel
    Uh, yeah I just re-read my post, and I meant a health clinic like planned parenthood, not an abortion clinic... just to clear things up...
  • Apr 6, 2007, 09:29 PM
    worthbeads
    The only things you have to do in life are die and pay taxes. Nobody can force you to do anything (besides paying taxes :D).
  • Apr 7, 2007, 06:23 PM
    GloveR1
    Im 6months pregnant at 16! How do I tell my mom(part 2)
    :eek: Ok guys I told my parents, and now they have completely fliped out on me. They are trying to force me to have an abortion even though I am already 6 months not only that, they are trying to put my 19 year old boyfriend in jail for satutary rape:confused: what do I do? Can I leave the house? There is only a 3 year difference between us, can they really do anything to him?
  • Apr 7, 2007, 06:36 PM
    JoeCanada76
    First of all they can not force you to have an abortion. Your 6 months. Even if you were not it is ONLY YOUR DECISION.

    As far as your boyfriend is concerned I am not sure. They probably could probably charge him.

    You need to make the decisions that are best for you and your baby. Your parents can not do a thing about you being pregnant. It is your choice and they can not murder your baby, because that is exactly what it would be if anything illegal was performed.

    You were giving lots of resources to help you out in your original post. Please re read all the advice and contact local programs that will help you with your pregnancy, with taking care of your baby and other options.

    Best wishes to you and your baby and your boyfriend.

    Joe
  • Apr 7, 2007, 07:28 PM
    TheSavage
    According to the site I just checked -- NJ law is 4 years difference in age before the statutory rape laws kick in -- but laws change -- Savage
    Statutory Rape Laws by State
  • Apr 8, 2007, 02:57 AM
    army4life
    I just went threw the same thing that you have or are going to go threw. We told my g/fs parents when she was just about 5 weeks along.. As soon as we found out. Everyone was mad at first. Saying that I'll leave (sterotypeing guys) your mom will do it. I had to go threw about 3months of everyone saying I was going to leave her sometime. Now were almost there and either one of our familys can wait includeing us. You will really think about all the growing up that you have to do now. Because its not all about having fun and hangin out w/friends anymore. Your going to have a 24-7 Job but I know you just as I will won't trade it for anything... So just sit down with your parents and tell them you messed up. Everyone does. Just sit there and take in everything she has to say about you messin up your life and all that fun stuff... But after awhile she won't think it's a bad thing she won't be able to wait for her little grand kid to come
  • Apr 8, 2007, 07:47 AM
    collinsmom
    Hi, I would recommend that you sit down with your boyfriend and really talk about what you want to do. Do you both want to parent? Will you be able to stay in school? Is he working to pay for babies needs (and yours if you stay in school to finish)? I would take this plan to your parents so that they can see that you are serious in making this work.

    If you are interested in adoption, you might want to contact an agency in your area to get information on the different types. We adopted our son through open adoption and see his birthmother and family (including the birthfathers daughters) twice a year. So, there are other ways to be involved in your babies life even if you choose not to parent. If you would like, I can give your more info on our situation (only if you're interested).

    I will be thinking about you. I'm glad that your boyfriend is there to help support you. I wish you the best and take of yourself and see a doctor asap.
  • Apr 8, 2007, 09:38 AM
    NowWhat
    I know you parents are probably disappointed. They are human too, and hopefully they will calm down and start being supportive. Remember, you have had 6 months to get use to the idea of a baby coming - they just found out.

    However, if they do not calm down - you may need to go to "plan b". Does your b/f live at home with his parents? Do they know? Could you possibly live with them?
    You need a positive support system. You also need to get to the dr. and get checked out.
    Go to planned parenthood - you should be able to get prenatal care there.

    Chin up, it will get better.
  • Apr 9, 2007, 05:39 AM
    asuka
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GloveR1
    I am only sixteen and now six months pregnant, i havent gone to the doctors yet because i can't tell my mother that I am. My mother has always been very strict with me and I am afraid of what she might do,i have tried so many times to tell her but i get afraid every time. My Mother has not noticed that i am pregnant yet but judging by how fast I"m "growing" i know that she will find out soon. i need some ideas to tell her, I'm afraid for my babies life. My boyfriend is still here and he really wants me to tell my mom but it seems like nobody understands how hard this is for me.

    Hey, I'm 16 too, and my mum just found out. If you sit down with her and talk to her about what you want and what you want to do with your baby then everything should be OK. I now have a baby that is 4 months old and it was worth everything that came my way. If you need to talk I am here and I would like to help :)
  • Apr 10, 2007, 02:47 PM
    arturosmommy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GloveR1
    I am only sixteen and now six months pregnant, i havent gone to the doctors yet because i can't tell my mother that I am. My mother has always been very strict with me and I am afraid of what she might do,i have tried so many times to tell her but i get afraid every time. My Mother has not noticed that i am pregnant yet but judging by how fast I"m "growing" i know that she will find out soon. i need some ideas to tell her, I'm afraid for my babies life. My boyfriend is still here and he really wants me to tell my mom but it seems like nobody understands how hard this is for me.



    Okay... dont panic! The stress it's good for you or that baby.. first thing you should do is get to the doctors. I'm sure you can get to a clinic and you don't need your mom for that. Now I know what I'm talking about.. im going to be a mom soon also and I'm only 14.. im 8 1/2 months pregnant right now. My dad seems like your mom.. have you considered writing her a letter? I didn't have to tell my dad because my mom did. Being that your 6 months pregnant I don't think your going to be able to hide that for very much longer. When I was 6 mohts people thought I was 9.. lol.. but that beside the point. As soon as you tell your mom I'm sure she is going to be dissapointed but after the deed is done you can't take it back now. Im sure your mom will get over the angryness and be happy about it sooner or later. My dad kicked me out of the house.. that's how mad he was. Now he seems to be better. The big concern with you is to just get to the doctor. I had so many problems with my pregnancy and its not something you can tell. I mean you don't get side effects or anything. For example I have high blood pressure and I'm enemic. Which means I'm really laking iron and I hae to take pills for it 2 times a day or my labor could be horrible.. and plus don't you want to know what your having? Well write me later. Good luck
  • Apr 17, 2007, 01:26 PM
    cassy1990
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GloveR1
    I am only sixteen and now six months pregnant, i havent gone to the doctors yet because i can't tell my mother that I am. My mother has always been very strict with me and I am afraid of what she might do,i have tried so many times to tell her but i get afraid every time. My Mother has not noticed that i am pregnant yet but judging by how fast I"m "growing" i know that she will find out soon. i need some ideas to tell her, I'm afraid for my babies life. My boyfriend is still here and he really wants me to tell my mom but it seems like nobody understands how hard this is for me.

    Hi. I'm 16 too and I've been in that same situation. I wasn't pregnant but I missed my period for 2 months. I planned and planned over my head what I should do if I ever was pregnant at a young age. I really think that the best way to tell your mom is if your boyfriends parents also know that your pregnant they should sit with you and your boyfriend and talk things out. The best way to solve this is by communicating and that is everyone who is going to be closely affected by this which are his parents and yours. If your boyfriends parents don't know and you wouldn't want them to find out before your mom you should sit down with your boyfriend and your mom and talk things out. Once more the key here is communication and finding the best way to deal with it. If you still go to school, another good way is to talk it over with your counselor and your mom having a counselor present is always good they can open her mind a little more as to how she can deal with it as well as you. If you need anymore answers please don't hesitate to e-mail me at [email protected] or on myspace.com/perfecthairdue

    I'm always glad to help people through situations that I've been through before.

    Cassy
  • Apr 17, 2007, 08:12 PM
    J_sarah
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GloveR1
    I am only sixteen and now six months pregnant, i havent gone to the doctors yet because i can't tell my mother that I am. My mother has always been very strict with me and I am afraid of what she might do,i have tried so many times to tell her but i get afraid every time. My Mother has not noticed that i am pregnant yet but judging by how fast I"m "growing" i know that she will find out soon. i need some ideas to tell her, I'm afraid for my babies life. My boyfriend is still here and he really wants me to tell my mom but it seems like nobody understands how hard this is for me.

    Well if u believe she will forgive you, you have to tell her. A mother will understand, she will help you through it all, I mean doesn't she know because you should be getting very big now.
    Well anyway you should tell your Mother she will under stand. If you feel she shouldn't know then its up to you to do the right thing. But I for one hope you tell her. Good luck.
  • Apr 17, 2007, 09:02 PM
    krittengirl
    I am a mom of 4 children and am have very conservative values, many would call me strict. I expect my children to follow the "rules". This being said, if you were my daughter I would want to know. It is always worse when you hide it. Your mom will be more upset if she figures it out on her own or from someone else. She may be upset at first, but only because she loves you and wants what is best for you. Having a child at 16 is not what is best, so she will go through a kind of grieving process -for the future she had hoped for you. But she won't stop loving you. She will probably quickly realize that this is reality, and become your best helper in getting ready for the baby and learning how to care for the baby. If you need any more advice or a listening ear, feel free to contact me.

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