If she's been hurt a lot in her past, perhaps she is not taking a chance on being hurt again, even if you've done nothing wrong.

You may see many things about her that there is to love, but she may not see anything. Pushing you away may give her an 'out' not to face her own fears.

In other words, there could be many reasons she could be carrying around the guilt of her past, or the regrets, or the pain. There is not much anyone can do when someone allows their past, to affect their future to such an extent, they cannot move forward with their lives.

Being burdened in that way limits independence, confidence, drive, ambition, etc. Learning to stay in one place, would eventually put a life in a stagnant place where nothing ever changes, because of the fear the past will repeat itself again.

And of course, it does.

I don't know what to tell you, but, should she come around and be willing to communicate with you, protect yourself from going through this again.

Sorry about a lot of question about ex's but um these are things that are coming to my mind and it would be nice to get an answer to some of the questions I'm thinking so um I'm wondering when her and I were dating when she was upset depressed like with really stressful things I was always there for her and always did everything I could clearly showing how much I care, like the whole me holding her and calmly talking to her always telling her everything is going to be okay and allowing her to talk to me and tell me what was going on no matter what it was so I'm wondering if there is a chance that will happen and shed be that upset again and maybe miss having me be there?


All threads have been merged together

If you are implying that there is a chance the relationship might work, my answer is probably not.

For whatever reason it broke up, that was the end of it.

If she is needy, and needs support, and a shoulder to cry on, and someone to help her solve her problems, let it be somebody else.

Why did you break up? That is the big thing. If it's over, it's over.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

If you are implying that there is a chance the relationship might work, my answer is probably not.

For whatever reason it broke up, that was the end of it.

If she is needy, and needs support, and a shoulder to cry on, and someone to help her solve her problems, let it be somebody else.

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Your no help... NEXT!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Why did you break up? That is the big thing. If it's over, it's over.

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I don't know...

In my experience, no matter how close we had been when we were together, once we broke up, rarely did we become friends or even care about each other again. The guy and I may have had pleasant memories about each other, but never acted on it, like trying to get back together again. He moved on and I moved on.

Interestingly, a guy I had really liked and had dated for a year or so during high school ended up marrying one of our classmates and had a daughter with her, Years later when the daughter was in high school, he and his wife divorced but remained friends, especially for the daughter's sake. He is now one of the committee heads for our 50th high school class reunion and has been emailing with me, remembering the good times we had together. Neither of us is interested in the other romantically, but it took over 50 years to connect with him again! Maybe that will happen to you and this ex.

Just can't wrap your head around the fact her feelings changed and it will never be the way it was. Just can't accept that can you? You must still be in deep shock and denial, or just don't know how to let go and move on.


All your threads have been merged together

Look up the meaning of ex. No longer. In the past. Don't be her friend. She's not yours. It isn't going to get you where I think you want to go. Unless you want to hear about her sex life all the time. There's other girls. If she's your best friend, then l, well, find a bester one.