Just try to make her see things in a clearer way. Ask her what she wants and if the person she is in relationship with is reliable.. once a liar is always a liar. She might react at first but when you will put down all the situations where that guy proved to be wrong before her, she might be able to think something... also you have to help her to come out of this.. its never necessary that she might accept you immediately but seeing your selfless concern for her would draw her to you. Hope it helps you

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Originally Posted by FakeTails

I'm not going to be asking her for advice to win her daughters heart, I'm going to be asking her weather she thinks it's a good idea or not, and If she thinks I'd even be good for her. I have no intention for asking for advice to win her daughter over.

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What's the difference? What would even be the point except to reveal your interest in her daughter? What are you accomplishing? Besides the excitement, and drama of actively pursuing romance with a female that's not available, nor appears to be any time soon.

Drop this whole line of thinking, because the moms opinion doesn't matter, nor does it hold sway over her daughter. Of course she would be delighted at having you as a partner,over the current guy, but the daughter will not be budged by outside influence. Not even yours.

I know its hard my friend, to let go, as young love is a strong motivation, and sucks when its not returned. Especially the first love experience,but in truth, their will be others.

Right now, you may be a bit carried away by those feelings, and are leaving yourself open to a disaster pursuing in any way a female whose heart is committed to another. This scenario never turns out well no matter how right it seems.

Focus else where, and get your emotions under control, and tell your excited heart to shut up, and let your brain lead.

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Originally Posted by FakeTails

And I haven't even totally decided what I'll say to her mon yet about anything, and if it comes down to I have not made my Decission by then I have another matter I need to discuss with her that I can use instead. And I am not going to medle in their relationship, seeing how I am her boyfriends friend too I'm not planing on bashing him, I will wait till something happens on its own.

And well your opinion on homeschooling is your opinion, I don't see the point to tell you otherwise since you seem to be set in your ways. But one thing you are right about is that; yes there is little to no social interaction unless you make the effort to meet people yourself.

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We are all entitled to opinions. I have a problem with home schooling. One comment doesn't mean I'm set in my ways. I find home schooled people don't develop social skills where their peers are involved "simply" because they don't have much opportunity to do so.

I realize that home schooled people do take the same standard exams that other students need to pass. You are 17, correct, probably going into your Senior year of high school? Hasn't the person who is home schooling you talked to you about your spelling? I come from a family of teachers. I'm not sure that someone who knew me well would be as "hard on me" (for lack of another way to describe it) as my teachers were.

Faketails, seriously, just drop it! Everyone has given good advice. Now take it and roll with it.

Leave this girl ALONE. Be friends and support her like a friend. Don't speak to her mommy. Just let it be. You are starting to sound obsessive! And really... what's better? Her idiot boyfriend or an obsessive friend? Really not much different...

... just saying

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Whats the difference? What would even be the point except to reveal your interest in her daughter? What are you accomplishing? Besides the excitement, and drama of actively pursuing romance with a female thats not available, nor appears to be any time soon.

Drop this whole line of thinking, because the moms opinion doesn't matter, nor does it hold sway over her daughter. Of course she would be delighted at having you as a partner,over the current guy, but the daughter will not be budged by outside influence. Not even yours.

I know its hard my friend, to let go, as young love is a strong motivation, and sucks when its not returned. Especially the first love experience,but in truth, their will be others.

Right now, you may be a bit carried away by those feelings, and are leaving yourself open to a disaster pursuing in any way a female whose heart is committed to another. This scenario never turns out well no matter how right it seems.

Focus else where, and get your emotions under control, and tell your excited heart to shut up, and let your brain lead.

---

Well the difference is right there... I'm not going to be asking for advice on how to win her heart. I'm going to be asking weather she personally thinks it's a good idea or not, I'm not asking for information on the girl. And there is honestly no other point then what I stated above, I'm not actively pursuing her either, at this moment in time I am purly trying to be her friend and just be there for her.

And I don't want her mom to change the girls mind, or sway her, I already know that her mom has pretty much no say on the matter, otherwise they wouldn't be together. And I'm not trying to either.

And I honestly don't see the point in letting this go, I know that the chance of the relationship between me and her even if we get together has a high probability to go bad, but all the same why not take the risk.

And this scenario has no reason to turn bad unless I actually do something while they're still together, which I am not going to.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

We are all entitled to opinions. I have a problem with home schooling. One comment doesn't mean I'm set in my ways. I find home schooled people don't develop social skills where their peers are involved "simply" because they don't have much opportunity to do so.

I realize that home schooled people do take the same standard exams that other students need to pass. You are 17, correct, probably going into your Senior year of high school? Hasn't the person who is home schooling you talked to you about your spelling? I come from a family of teachers. I'm not sure that someone who knew me well would be as "hard on me" (for lack of another way to describe it) as my teachers were.

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You are now taking this conversation to a whole new subject, which you simply bashing homeschooling on, so I don't see the point in continuing a conversation with you. Thanks for all your help in this situation though, feel free to continue talking if you would like continue with the actual subject at hand.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FakeTails

Well the difference is right there... I'm not going to be asking for advice on how to win her heart. I'm going to be asking weather she personally thinks its a good idea or not, I'm not asking for information on the girl. And there is honestly no other point then what I stated above, I'm not actively pursuing her either, at this moment in time I am purly trying to be her friend and just be there for her.

And I don't want her mom to change the girls mind, or sway her, i already know that her mom has pretty much no say on the matter, otherwise they wouldn't be together. And I'm not trying to either.

And I honestly don't see the point in letting this go, I know that the chance of the relationship between me and her even if we get together has a high probability to go bad, but all the same why not take the risk.

And this scenario has no reason to turn bad unless I actually do something while they're still together, which I am not going to.




You are now taking this conversation to a whole new subject, which you simply bashing homeschooling on, so I don't see the point in continuing a conversation with you. Thanks for all your help in this situation though, feel free to continue talking if you would like continue with the actual subject at hand.

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Sorry. But you can't direct the Board.

I'm not bashing home schooling. Sometimes there's a need.

I AM saying that you have no experience interacting with female, and I blame that on home schooling. I know you're "purly" trying to be "her" friend - but why (again) are you talking to her mother?

Thanks for granting me permission to continue "talking" but I don't think I actually need it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Sorry. but you can't direct the Board.

I'm not bashing home schooling. Sometimes there's a need.

I AM saying that you have no experience interacting with female, and I blame that on home schooling. I know you're "purly" trying to be "her" friend - but why (again) are you talking to her mother?

Thanks for granting me permission to continue "talking" but I don't think I actually need it.

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I wasn't directing the board, I was just saying its not the topic that was meant to be discussed here.

And you honestly have no room to say weather I do or do not have experience with "females" because even being homeschooled I have had several chances to talk to many many people of all ages and genders.

Purely, my bad. But the reason I am talking to her mother is, I would like to know what she thinks of me as a person (the mother) and If it of not she thinks I'd be OK for her daughter. I think that asking the mother(and father) first is a considerate thing to do that no one my age actually takes the time to do anymore.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FakeTails

I wasn't directing the board, I was just saying its not the topic that was meant to be discussed here.

And you honestly have no room to say weather I do or do not have experiance with "females" because even being homeschooled I have had several chances to talk to many many people of all ages and genders.

Purely, my bad. But the reason I am talking to her mother is, I would like to know what she thinks of me as a person (the mother) and If it of not she thinks I'd be ok for her daughter. I think that asking the mother(and father) first is a considerate thing to do that no one my age actually takes the time to do anymore.

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I disagree - I do not find it to be considerate to ask a mother what she thinks about you dating her daughter BEFORE you actually date her daughter WHEN her daughter is in a relationship, whether you approve of the relationship.

In fact, I think that's creepy.

You aren't asking for the girl's hand in marriage AND what does it matter what the mother thinks of you in the long run - ?

I thought you said you had no "experiance" with girls because you are home schooled. In fact, I thought that was the very purpose of mentioning home schooling.

You have spoken to many people of "all" genders? I thought there were only two - ?

Look, I think you've been sheltered. I think at your age you are at a level with the 12 and 13 year olds who post about their first crush. That may or may not be a bad thing. Do I think it will ultimately cause you problems? Yes. Do I think it's a result of home schooling? I thought so, but if you've had a lot of exposure to girls/women, then maybe not.

The "usual" way to learn about the other sex is to go to school with the other sex, get to know the other sex on all levels, get comfortable with them.

You need to get very real here - the girl of your dreams is involved with someone else. Talking to her mother about what she thinks about you is going to end your relationship with her before it begins. If somebody would come to my door and ask what I think of him concerning my stepchildren I would DEFINITELY speak to his parents, because I would be afraid he's a stalker. Maybe it's just me.

Walk away before you make a fool of yourself.

(And it's whether, not weather. Please.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I disagree - I do not find it to be considerate to ask a mother what she thinks about you dating her daughter BEFORE you actually date her daughter WHEN her daughter is in a relationship, whether or not you approve of the relationship.

In fact, I think that's creepy.

You aren't asking for the girl's hand in marriage AND what does it matter what the mother thinks of you in the long run - ?

I thought you said you had no "experiance" with girls because you are home schooled. In fact, I thought that was the very purpose of mentioning home schooling.

You have spoken to many people of "all" genders? I thought there were only two - ?

Look, I think you've been sheltered. I think at your age you are at a level with the 12 and 13 year olds who post about their first crush. That may or may not be a bad thing. Do I think it will ultimately cause you problems? Yes. Do I think it's a result of home schooling? I thought so, but if you've had a lot of exposure to girls/women, then maybe not.

The "usual" way to learn about the other sex is to go to school with the other sex, get to know the other sex on all levels, get comfortable with them.

You need to get very real here - the girl of your dreams is involved with someone else. Talking to her mother about what she thinks about you is going to end your relationship with her before it begins. If somebody would come to my door and ask what I think of him concerning my stepchildren I would DEFINITELY speak to his parents, because I would be afraid he's a stalker. Maybe it's just me.

Walk away before you make a fool of yourself.

(And it's whether, not weather. Please.)

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Well I'll give you that, I don't see how that would be considered "creepy" but I will say that you are right that if I was to tell her while she's in a relationship with another guy even if she doesn't approve of it it wouldn't turn out so well.

And no when I said "experiance" I meant that I have not had a girlfriend, I have had a bunch of friends, girls and boys alike.

And yes, "All" meaning both, they are interchangeable words in this situation.

And what brings you to that conclusion?

And the "usual" way isn't always the case, another way to get to know the other sex, or anyone really, is by talking to them, getting to know them, you do not need to go to public school for that to happen.

And end my relationship with who? The daughter or the mother? And what does this have to do with stepchildren again? And I highly doubt her mom will think of me as a stalker, and I'd she did she's the type of person to bring it up right there.

And walk away from telling the mom or from loving the girl?

(grammatical errors will occur at times, I appologize for the inconvenience.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FakeTails

Well I'll give you that, I don't see how that would be considered "creepy" but I will say that you are right that if I was to tell her while she's in a relationship with another guy even if she doesn't approve of it it wouldn't turn out so well.

And no when I said "experiance" I meant that I have not had a girlfriend, I have had a bunch of friends, girls and boys alike.

And yes, "All" meaning both, they are interchangeable words in this situation.

And what brings you to that conclusion?

And the "usual" way isnt always the case, another way to get to know the other sex, or anyone really, is by talking to them, getting to know them, you do not need to go to public school for that to happen.

And end my relationship with who? The daughter or the mother? And what does this have to do with stepchildren again? And I highly doubt her mom will think of me as a stalker, and I'd she did she's the type of person to bring it up right there.

And walk away from telling the mom or from loving the girl?

(grammatical errors will occur at times, I appologize for the inconvenience.)

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What brings me to what conclusion?

I have stepchildren. I told you how I would react if you showed up at my door for whatever reason you intend to show up at this mother's door. If you can't understand that, I also have dogs. Fill in the word "dogs" in the place of stepchildren.

I'm not going to argue your social experiences, your large circle of friends, your knowledge of girls/women, why this is your first girlfriend. I continue to belief there is a lot more interaction with a lot more people if you are "trapped" in school with them every day from 8AM to 3:30PM. You don't think so. We have different beliefs, and I'll leave you to yours.

I've said all I have to say on the subject.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

What brings me to what conclusion?

I have stepchildren. I told you how I would react if you showed up at my door for whatever reason you intend to show up at this mother's door. If you can't understand that, I also have dogs. Fill in the word "dogs" in the place of stepchildren.

I'm not going to argue your social experiences, your large circle of friends, your knowledge of girls/women, why this is your first girlfriend. I continue to belief there is a lot more interaction with a lot more people if you are "trapped" in school with them every day from 8AM to 3:30PM. You don't think so. We have different beliefs, and I'll leave you to yours.

I've said all I have to say on the subject.

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This conclusion: "Look, I think you've been sheltered. I think at your age you are at a level with the 12 and 13 year olds who post about their first crush. That may or may not be a bad thing. Do I think it will ultimately cause you problems? Yes. Do I think it's a result of home schooling? I thought so, but if you've had a lot of exposure to girls/women, then maybe not."

And actually me and her are meeting up somewhere to talk, me and her are friends.

(and it's believe, not belief. Please.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FakeTails

This conclusion: "Look, I think you've been sheltered. I think at your age you are at a level with the 12 and 13 year olds who post about their first crush. That may or may not be a bad thing. Do I think it will ultimately cause you problems? Yes. Do I think it's a result of home schooling? I thought so, but if you've had a lot of exposure to girls/women, then maybe not."

And actually me and her are meeting up somewhere to talk, me and her are friends.

(and it's believe, not belief. Please.)

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Sorry. I wasn't even home school AND I went to college AND I got into law school. Amazing.

While we're on the subject it's not me and her. It's she and I.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Sorry. I wasn't even home school AND I went to college AND I got into law school. Amazing.

While we're on the subject it's not me and her. It's she and I.

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What does you not being homeschooled and going to college change anything? I am also going to college just to let you know.

And thanks for the help.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FakeTails

What does you not being homeschooled and going to college change anything? I am also going to college just to let you know.

And thanks for the help.

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Any time. Sure - let me explain what just happened.

I corrected your spelling. You're in high school.

You correct my spelling. I'm a college graduate.

If you still don't get the humor, let me know.

You could benefit reading about similar experience on this forum about how pursuing some one that has someone actually works out. There are many of those similar threads. Many even includes the family members, and it generally ends in disaster.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...st-569661.html

Bottom line, you can listen to the advice and learn from the experience of others, or you can learn the hard way, by doing it YOUR way.

So go ahead do it your way. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst, is my last bit of advice. Please keep us updated.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Any time. Sure - let me explain what just happened.

I corrected your spelling. You're in high school.

You correct my spelling. I'm a college graduate.

If you still don't get the humor, let me know.

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Yeah I got it haha, Ive just been a little uh, distracted today because I was planing on telling her mom tomorrow but now I'm second guessing myself, but if I'm doing that then I wasn't really art in stone to begin with so it probably isn't a good idea to do this right now anyway.. Hmm.. Well she actually might be too busy tomorrow anyway do I might get a little more time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You could benefit reading about similar experience on this forum about how pursuing some one that has someone actually works out. There are many of those similar threads. Many even includes the family members, and it generally ends in disaster.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...st-569661.html

Bottom line, you can listen to the advice and learn from the experience of others, or you can learn the hard way, by doing it YOUR way.

So go ahead do it your way. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst, is my last bit of advice. Please keep us updated.

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And thanks, its nice to read all of that even though it's not exactly the same as my situation it's sort of close. I'll keep you guys updated.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You could benefit reading about similar experience on this forum about how pursuing some one that has someone actually works out. There are many of those similar threads. Many even includes the family members, and it generally ends in disaster.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...st-569661.html

Bottom line, you can listen to the advice and learn from the experience of others, or you can learn the hard way, by doing it YOUR way.

So go ahead do it your way. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst, is my last bit of advice. Please keep us updated.

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Right to the chase - we're on the same page here but I always like what you have to see, seek it out. This sums it up.