Guess what Ashley. I know where you live and it only took me 10 seconds.

If I can find that out, this "dude" can too!

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Originally Posted by Ashley1478

It just doesn't make sense for someone to waste so much time.

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That's because you are only 13 and don't have a clue about the mind of a pedophile.

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Originally Posted by Ashley1478

But isn't it possible maybe it isn't a lie?

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No, because any real person learning that you are 13 would back away.

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Originally Posted by Ashley1478

I didn't tell my mom because she doesn't handle things like a rational person always....

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And you do? This whole relationship and everything you have said about it is not rational.

Sorry the rational thing to do when a adult is trying to start a relationship with a 13 year old is to call the police. And would that be the LA police ? See how easy it is to start to find someone.

You then talk about a school event, he then does web searches of schools having that event.

You talk about a local store and so on.

As noted, these type of guys will take years buidling you up to the point where you will listen to no one but them. You are already fighting so hard to believe anything wrong.

The guy is twenty-one and you're going to be fourteen here soon. I have been in your situation somewhat. I was dating a guy that was twenty when I was fifteen. Although there's only a five years age difference, there is a lot of differences that you may not know about. You're in high school or about to start high school while he is out of school. He's old enough to drink and smoke legally while you're not even legal to drive. The age difference is eight years. This is a huge difference.

If the law were to find out about this, this guy would go to jail without a doubt. Are you even sure he's being honest about who he's saying he is? There are a lot of scary guys in the world. This person may live in England on the internet, but he could be living in Montana or somewhere in the states. He could be a sixty year old man. My friend once dated a guy for two years online until she found out it was a fourteen year old girl bored online.

It's a cruel world and I don't think you're ready to face it yet.

All right. I have been stupid. And scott you are right. But my first impression was that he wasn't a bad person. My first impression/instinct is always right. I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

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However I kept this all from my parents. My mom found out yesterday. I can't lose him.

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And what does your mom say about this 21 year old pen pal?

If you were my daughter, I would tell you to keep it real, because 5 years is a very long time, and there will be many changes for you both. Chances are, you both will be busy with friends, and activities that you enjoy, even fall in love with people you can actually do things with, so whether your instincts are right or wrong, you still will have the issue of distance to deal with. Come on, you have a nice fantasy going for you, but the reality is no matter how well he talks, he is still a stranger to you, and you may never know what he is really like.

While I am glad you are cautious, I think you should do the right thing for yourself, and enjoy the real world, where you are at. You are hardly the first very young female to have a crush on an older guy, or fall for the attention they lay on you. Keep it real for yourself though, and be safe.

I got to say, I wouldn't be so quick to completely trust any 21 year old, that ha so much time to talk to a 13 year old, even as a friend, or Internet buddy.

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Originally Posted by Ashley1478

But my first impression was that he wasn't a bad person. My first impression/instinct is always right. I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

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Well your first impression is very likely not right this time.

What I think you should do is report him to the police and see what they say. But I suspect you won't do that.

At the least, what you should do is dial it back. Tell him that you think the age gap is way to wide for you to be anything more than Internet pen pals. If he is willing to accept that you can continue to talk to him. Keep it totally platonic, nothing romantic. And keep it impersonal. Don't talk about that things that can pinpoint your location. If he tries to get personal, intimate or sexual, you cut it off IMMEDIATELY and then DO report it to the police.

All right. That's what I'll do scott. The second option. That's smart. I don't know what I was thinking.

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Originally Posted by Ashley1478

Alright. Thats what I'll do scott. The second option. Thats smart. I don't know what I was thinking.

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Why do I detect a note of sarcasm?

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

And would that be the LA police ? see how easy it is to start to find someone.

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Hm... might just be a coincidence, but I found an address that could be for the OP in East LA.

As mentioned... it doesn't take much... at all.

I could give you a much closer one but would not post it publicly.

Nowhere near east LA but I made up my mind and ended it. I swear I wasn't being sarcastic.

HOw did he take this "ending", and what was it that made you change your mind?