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Originally Posted by nevada22

but the chances are extremely low between and condom and the pill so your cases are rare and I understand the same could happen to me.

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Let me invite you to come to work with me. I deliver babies for a living.

No, the chances aren't as rare as you think.

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Originally Posted by nevada22

Woah, I feel like you are trying to put up a fight or argue with me, I'm 16 so I really don't know much

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So, based on what you've read here so far, what are you thinking?

(Btw, it's whoa, not woah.)

I was already planning on waiting until at least next summer but I am considering having sex this summer still because I feel like some of these answers are a little far fetched and I am sure I will get plenty of responses from this line but I am still planning on waiting to build my relationship. I understand that those circumstances could happen to me and I completely understand I could get pregnant. To the question about college... I will be taking college classes next year as a junior and my boyfriend will attend college. I understand what is in store and I think I have known, I research a lot but I just wanted some other opinions. I'm a little thrown off by the harsh tone that seems to have come across as I just wanted some opinions but I think I will wait and talk to a couple other people.

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Originally Posted by nevada22

I feel like some of these answers are a little far fetched

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How so?

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Originally Posted by nevada22

Woah, I feel like you are trying to put up a fight or argue with me, I'm 16 so I really don't know much honestly I just want to hear all opinions and options, I feel that is the most logical way to handle the situation. I appreciate your side.

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I know you don't want to fight. Neither do I.

The thing is, I'm 40, but I was a teen. I was a teen that had sex. I do regret it.

I'm also a 40 year old that as a teen felt I was in love. I knew in my heart that it would last forever. No one could tell me different.

I was wrong.

I'm not trying to fight with you. I'm trying to make you see reality. I also realize that you'll do what you want because you really do believe you know it all.

Trust me, you don't. At 16 you know nothing, and I don't mean to be disrespectful. You could be the smartest 16 year old in the world, and your posts show that you are smart, but you're 16, and you know nothing of the world.

You're letting your feelings dictate your actions. It will bite you in the butt one day. I promise you.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

I know you don't want to fight. Neither do I.


I'm not trying to fight with you. I'm trying to make you see reality. I also realize that you'll do what you want because you really do believe you know it all.

Trust me, you don't. At 16 you know nothing, and I don't mean to be disrespectful. You could be the smartest 16 year old in the world, and your posts show that you are smart, but you're 16, and you know nothing of the world.

You're letting your feelings dictate your actions. It will bite you in the butt one day. I promise you.

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But I honestly said I don't know anything, I will learn from my experience and those of others. When I'm in my 80's I'll know it all haha (I'm just kidding) I'm not wise at all. I know my boyfriend and I can break up at any time whether it be a week or 20 years from now it could happen, nothing on earth can be forever.

Wondergirl you haven't upset me thank you for your time and what you have told me.

I don't at all think I know it all.

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Originally Posted by nevada22

Wondergirl you haven't upset me thank you for your time and what you have told me.

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Huh? I'm not concerned that I've upset you. (I haven't said anything that would do that.)

I wonder why you think some of these answers are far-fetched.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Huh? I'm not concerned that I've upset you. (I haven't said anything that would do that.)

I wonder why you think some of these answers are far-fetched.

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Oh, I'm sorry I thought you meant how so? To that I was upset with the question.

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Originally Posted by nevada22

Oh, I'm sorry I thought you meant how so? to that I was upset with the question.

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So why do you think some of these answers are far-fetched?

Bottom line, if you're not ready to be a mother, don't have sex. Every time you have sex, even if you have only one ovary, PCOD, are on the pill, use a condom, and have been told by your doctor that you'll never conceive, you may still get pregnant. A friend of mine did and was told all of the above. She now has 3 children, all conceived against all odds. She finally ended up having a tubal ligation and her husband had a vasectomy. Guess what? She's pregnant again, 2 years after all her operation and her hubbies.

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This is just a one in a billion chance, that is what I meant by far-fetched, I understand that it can happen though.

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Originally Posted by nevada22

This is just a one in a billion chance, that is what I meant by far-fetched, I understand that it can happen though.

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It was what actually happened to someone in real life, someone who didn't think she had a chance of getting pregnant.

In my family, the women take a deep breath and get pregnant. It took me and my husband three years to get pregnant. So it works the other way too.

I'm guessing all those teenage romantic moments my long-time boyfriend and I had in dark cornfields and hay lofts and on a Lake Ontario beach would have ended up with my getting pregnant, had I agreed to have sex. (And there was no birth control back then--only abstinence or the rhythm method if you were Catholic.)

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Originally Posted by nevada22

Bottom line, if you're not ready to be a mother, don't have sex. Every time you have sex, even if you have only one ovary, PCOD, are on the pill, use a condom, and have been told by your doctor that you'll never conceive, you may still get pregnant. A friend of mine did and was told all of the above. She now has 3 children, all conceived against all odds. She finally ended up having a tubal ligation and her husband had a vasectomy. Guess what? She's pregnant again, 2 years after all her operation and her hubbies.

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This is just a one in a billion chance, that is what I meant by far-fetched, I understand that it can happen though

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One in a billion?

From the time she was 13 she was told by over 3 expert doctors that she'd never have kids because of her issues.

So she went ahead thinking she'd never be a mom.

When she got pregnant with her daughter, on the pill, used a condom, one ovary and polysistic ovarian disease, the doctor said it was a miracle.

Same thing with her second and third child.

Now she not only had only one ovary, and PCOD, but she had her tubes tied, and her husband had a vasectomy, and she's pregnant with her 4th miracle.

YOu really think this is one in a billion? How many times can lightening strike? It struck 4 times for my friend.

So, do you really think lightening can't strike you once? It can. Are you willing to take that chance?

Let's stop talking facts, and start discussing plans.

You want to have sex. Pregnancy is a huge possibility. So, what are your plans when you get pregnant?

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Originally Posted by nevada22

some of these answers are a little far fetched

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Nevada, while you may THINK some of these answers are far fetched, the fact is that they are actually the truth.

You see, I am not only a mother of a teen, but I am also a labor and delivery nurse. I've seen it all, heard it all and delivered their babies. ;)

I was a teen once too. I understand the desire to have sex, I understand what teen love is like, as my daughter is in the same boat as you and she's 17.

Maybe I can advise you like I advise her. Sex changes a relationship and not always for the better. Use your brain, not your libido. Pregnancy can and does happen. Teens think they are ten feet high and bullet proof. They have the idea that "it can't happen to me." Well, it can happen to you. No matter what kind of protection you use.

You are 16 now and could possibly be a mother at 17. This would give you the possibility of being a grandmother at 34. Heck, I didn't even have my last child until I was 38 much less a grandmother :eek:.

I have delivered babies to 13 year olds, yes 13!

Also, there are some very serious health risks should you become pregnant at your age. Some of these life threatening and some can be permanent.

You could develop pre-eclampsia due to high blood pressure. This can cause seizures. You could develop something called gestational diabetes, that is diabetes only when pregnant, however it can cause you to have permanent diabetes later in life. You could have a child with Down's Syndrome. You could have a child with multiple fetal anomalies like a hole in the heart, premature labor and birth. These last two can cause a baby to be in a NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) for weeks or months before being able to come home. This can cost in the millions of dollars.

So, if you do decide to have sex, remember that these are all possibilities and they very well could happen to you.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Sex changes a relationship and not always for the better.

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Truer words were never spoken!

Nevada, See this is the problem here and why we may come off sounding a bit harsh, We tell you that having sex means the risk of pregnancy. We give you examples of how birth control is not 100%. We detail how becoming pregnant at a young age can radically change your life. Yet your response to this is its all a "bit far-fetched" and a "one in a billion" chance. That says to us that you don't believe us, that you are assuming we are adults just trying to scare you with the boogey man of pregnancy. When the truth is we are concerned about you and don't want to you to make the same mistakes countless others have made.

You say your boyfriend plans to go to college. Does he plan on going away? Do you have any clue what a strain that puts on a relationship? Do you have any clue of the odds that at 16 you have found your soulmate for the rest of your life?

Is your boyfriend pressuring you to have sex? The more he pressures, the more you should dig in your heels.

And I will point out I specified that you should not engage in sexual INTERCOURSE. I'll let you figure out what that means.

Here's the thing--I know what hormones are like.

I'm not saying don't find ways to enjoy each other's bodies. You're going to do that anyway, and probably ALREADY do that.

Just... draw the line at sex. If your boyfriend REALLY loves you, he'll be okay with it.

The biggest problem is this: Teenage boys think with their penises when they're alone with a girl. They don't always mean to, and most guys are nice enough to respect a girl's wishes on the subject. But they ARE thinking with their penises. They are NOT thinking with their hearts about sex. Sure, he loves you, but sex is about his PENIS, not about feeling closer to you.

GIRLS are thinking more with their minds and hearts than with their vaginas. In a lot of cases, girls don't know how to get THEMSELVES to orgasm, much less how to show their boyfriends how to do it.

I promise you that if you don't know already how that feels, you're going to be SUPREMELY disappointed in sex.

And if you're not 100% mentally and emotionally ready that first time, you're going to screw yourself up for the NEXT time, because your expectations are all wrong about it. Then it becomes a viscious cycle of having sex, trying to find your orgasm, not having one, and being frustrated about it---which prevents it from happening NEXT time.

Aside from the pregnancy thing--if you have to ask about it, you are NOT ready. You have hesitations, and are worried about it, and are not 100% into jumping into intercourse. If you're not 100% mentally and emotionally ready, you won't even enjoy it.

Thanks, I'm going to wait for a while at least I'm not doing it this year. I've had orgasms before and we've done almost everything else but I think I'm going to wait for sometime to have sexual intercourse. Thanks to all of you