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Originally Posted by firefly15

I dont care what my mum thinks i just want her to back off and leave me alone, i just want some space.I dont need her and i dont need her all in my stuff she is just freaking out over nothing she should go and find something better to do with her time

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You know-at one point I was just like you! Smoked pot, did E, and some other drugs/things that I shouldn't have been doing at your age. If you knew how hard my life is as a result of that, maybe you would re-think what you are presently doing.

You think you don't need your mom? Think again kid, because without your mom, most likely, you wouldn't even have a bedroom!
One day your mom will be gone and who will take care of you then? You need to get your act together and learn how to respect your mother.

I love my mum I appreciate what she does for me. I just need her to care about something other than me

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Originally Posted by firefly15

I love my mum i appreciate what she does for me. I just need her to care about something other than me

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Well you may think it's lame, but you need to communicate that to her. I guarantee that is a big problem between you too. If you fail to communicate with her, she's going to have reason to believe that you are hiding something and she will try to find out as much about you as possible-any which way she can-and rightfully so.

I agree with the others, if you do drugs, even if it's just every once in a while, it is very noticeable. She probably suspects it, no doubt.

You know... its really not YOUR room. Its your parents place after all. As was mentioned... you have no right to privacy until you are renting or own your OWN place and are totally self supporting.

Until that time... you play by the rules of the owners of the place. In this case your parents.

Wait until they get you drug tested... yeah... they CAN do that.

And your parents DO care... otherwise they would have put you out on the street to fend for yourself the first time you screwed up or disobeyed them. And yeah... that DOES happen. I know people that were on the streets at 11... and not by their own choice.

So that's just the way it is I suppose parents get to do what ever they like. Well fine I don't care anymore she can go through my room all she likes she won't find anything.And make me have a drug test I doubt she'd do that.I don't need her to do anything for me if I needed her to be so in my stuff I would have asked but I didn't.If she really wants to help me as you say she should just leave me alone I don't need her

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Originally Posted by firefly15

So thats just the way it is i suppose parents get to do what ever they like. Well fine i dont care anymore she can go through my room all she likes she wont find anything.And make me have a drug test i doubt she'd do that.I dont need her to do anything for me if i needed her to be so in my stuff i would of asked but i didnt.If she really wants to help me as you say she should just leave me alone i dont need her

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Wait until YOU have a kid or kids... that YOU have to bust your butt to support that doesn't appreciate any of the things they got GIVEN to them that everyone else has to work to earn.

I can hear the Hysterical laughter coming from your moms house the very first time you complain about it. And it most likely WILL happen.

Incidentally at 14... you CLEARLY don't have the maturity to be left alone... and your own posts have shown it.

Respect is earned... not demanded.

Now... this is a serious question...

Take some time to read back through the quoted post and explain exactly how YOU as the child that can not earn their own way in life yet is in any position to mandate to the parent who works their butt off to provide for you when you act like this. Seriously... give it more thought than you do your schoolwork. Reflect on it and how if YOU had a kid right now how and why they would suddenly acquire the wisdom of the universe without having held a real job or supported themselves yet and why would YOU not be in the position of being the adult and making the adult decisions they can't yet understand? And why YOU should let your kids do all sorts of things that are guaranteed to get them in serious trouble.

Im not going to change who I am just for her.I understand that she does everything for me and I have a lot of respect for her and all she does that's not an issue.I know I should just not say anything not complain she can search my room, my phone and anything she likes that's fine as I've been told none of it belongs to me anyway. But I am who I am and my mind and body are my to do with as I please she can't control that and if I don't care why should she

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Originally Posted by firefly15

I dont care what my mum thinks i just want her to back off and leave me alone, i just want some space.I dont need her and i dont need her all in my stuff she is just freaking out over nothing she should go and find something better to do with her time

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Simple solution. Finish school, get a job, get your own place, then you can become a drug addict and do whatever you want to ruin your life.

Until then, your mom, who cares about you, has every right to try and make you see sense.

You may not like it, but obviously you're not smart enough or mature enough to make the right decisions for yourself, so someone has to. That's what moms are for.

Hopefully you'll wise up sooner rather then later, and then you'll realize that she's doing this because she cares about you, despite yourself.

Im not a drug addict and I don't want to be either.Argh it so hard to explain, I love my mum but I don't want to hurt her I don't want her to know what I'm doing.I don't want her to be upset I don't want her to worry about me I just want her to care about something else I don't want her to care about me. Im not worth her worring about

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Originally Posted by firefly15

Im not a drug addict and i dont want to be either.Argh it so hard to explain, i love my mum but i dont want to hurt her i dont want her to know what im doing.I dont want her to be upset i dont want her to worry about me i just want her to care about something else i dont want her to care about me. Im not worth her worring about

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Now you're doing the pity party. The "I'm not worth her love".

Firefly, I'm not buying it. I know why you're doing what you're doing. You want to be mature, you want to play with the big kids. The fact is, you're a child. You don't have the common sense to see that what you're doing could hurt you. Not only now, but in the future.

Take it from someone that screwed up a lot when she was your age. Me. I learned the hard way. My mom did love me, but I hid everything very well, so she didn't snoop, she trusted me. I wish she hadn't.

You're complaining because your mom is invading your space. As far as I'm concerned, she's not doing a good job of it. If she knew what you were doing she'd likely lock you up, and rightfully so. Someone has to protect you from your worst enemy. Sadly that enemy is you.

I know you're not going to listen to me any more then you'll listen to your mom. I wish you would. I wish I had someone tell me what I'm telling you when I was 14. I didn't.

The bottom line is, you're hurting yourself. You may live to tell the tale, but that's a toss up. You may not care about yourself, but your mom does, and if you live her like you say you do, you'll stop hurting yourself. Losing you would be the most devastating thing that ever happened to her. You may not think so, but I know so.

Take my advice. Stop using drugs, stop having sex, talk to your mom, and live a better life, before you end up regretting it.

Your mom is doing what most good parents do when they are worried, I would search my kids room and other parts of the home all the time, They even knew that I may pat down their friends from time to time.

Im not try to play with the big kids or be mature, I couldn't really care less about the older kids I take drugs because I like the way it makes me feel I don't have to deal with **** I can just be happy and not have to worry. I don't care if it ends badly if I die I really don't care. I love my mum but I'm not hurting me I'm helping me you just don't understand and she wouldn't either that's why I just wish she would leave it.

Which is why I hope you puts a tighter rope on you to teach you a lesson, catch you and get you help, since you obviously have no idea about reality and what the drugs are doing

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Originally Posted by firefly15

Im not try to play with the big kids or be mature, i couldnt really care less about the older kids i take drugs because i like the way it makes me feel i dont have to deal with **** i can just be happy and not have to worry. I dont care if it ends badly if i die i really dont care. I love my mum but im not hurting me im helping me you just dont understand and she wouldnt either thats why i just wish she would leave it.

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Do you really love your mom, or are you the selfish spoiled brat you seem to be judging by your posts?

If you really care about your mom, then be good to yourself. Stop doing drugs, and stop having sex at 14!

I do understand. I understand much better then you think I do. You need help, and the only person capable of giving you help is your mom. Will she be disappointed? Hell yes! Will she be mad? Hell yes! Will she help you and love you anyway? Hell yes!

Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and talk to your mom before it's too late. You may not care about yourself, but your mom does, and losing you would kill her. Are you okay with her dying too? If not, then get help!

And of course... if you still think you know everything... you can be one of those 15 year old single moms that never graduates... and never gets a job paying more than minimum wage... always lives in crappy cockroach infested apartments in the bad part of town your entire life... never has enough money to make it to the next payday... and of course... never finds a really good man because the good ones look for someone that makes the right choices in life. And you will probably convince yourself its someone else's fault even though its 100% your own fault because it was YOUR choices that put you there. But then... at 14 you have it ALL figured out and everyone else is wrong. In your mind anyway.

Your mom cares... that's why she's even bothering to try.

Personally... if you want to be stupid... then you have nobody to blame but yourself when you are lucky to get the most menial of jobs, the lowest paying ones, the rest of your life. Someone has to do those jobs... between you and motivated illegals, my bet is THEY will get the jobs first. Employers don't care about sob stories... they want people who do what they are told, when they are told to do it. And the lower the job.. the more you are told what to do. Don't worry about the better jobs... if you continue down the path you are on now... you will never have one.

Actions have consequences. That's how the real world works.

Sure you can be as stupid as you want... but nobody has to support you or deal with you if you are as an adult. I'm sure you think you are special... and none of those rules of life apply to you... but the fact is they do.. and you aren't special to anyone but your family. Life is and will be what you make of it. So feel free to limit your ability to have a slice of it. That makes room for someone else that does care, does try, and does make the effort.

And there are some things you can't change once they have been done... screw up your chances now, and many things will never be available to you in the future.

And the biggest shock in life you will have... assuming you don't get pregnant or arrested, or have a parent die... is when you have to move out of your parents house and support yourself on your own earnings. Then all of those idealistic dreams you think about now will come up smack against reality. And NONE will come true.

The more of a fantasy world you live in the bigger the shock will be when you have to face reality.


And the bottom line is this... NOBODY cares more about you, or cares more that you DON'T make stupid mistakes than your Mother does. Not even any of your best friends. If you think she's hard on you... you can't imagine how hard people that don't know you or want to know you WILL be.

Great advice

I don't live in a fantasy world believe me things are very real to me in my world you have no idea if you think I'm being a selfish spoilt brat then so be it and I suppose that's how I sound but you don't know me or any thing about me.I lnow my choices can affect my life believe me I know how one decision can effect my life for ever but my life is already messed up I don't care about if I grow up if I get a job blah blah blah because I simply don't want to you say I'm messing my life up and my mum only cares for me well where was she when I really did need her no where and I think what I do doesn't hurt me but help me deal with what others have done. I don't want to hurt my mum I do love her and that is why I don't want her to get in my stuff she doesn't need to know because she can't help and it will only make things worse.

I'll be honest here. I had the first post, and thought you were curious as to why your mom was sneaking around in your stuff. That was answered, you obviously do not want to accept the advice. You do not seem selfish, and at your age should not be worrying about "growing up / getting a job".. yet. BUT, there is some DEEP issues you need to deal with (professional if possible.. like a therapist).. . The comment "where was she when i really did need her no where" makes me wonder what is going on. ---- And Trust me, DRUGS HURT YOU, a very good friend of mine passed away in her sleep after taking "E". She used for about 1 year, maybe.. every other month (or so). . And well, it does some CRAZY stuff to your brain. Read up on it.. . "E" feels good because it releases ALL of your Seretonin (a chemical that makes you happy)... which is why people feel depressed after.. ALL of their Seretonin is gone. It's NO JOKE. . And will only make you feel worse over time.

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Originally Posted by firefly15

I dont live in a fantasy world beleive me things are very real to me in my world you have no idea if you think im being a selfish spoilt brat then so be it and i suppose thats how i sound but you dont know me or any thing about me.I lnow my choices can affect my life beleive me i know how one decision can effect my life for ever but my life is already messed up i dont care about if i grow up if i get a job blah blah blah because i simply dont want to you say im messing my life up and my mum only cares for me well where was she when i really did need her no where and i think what i do dosnt hurt me but help me deal with what others have done. I dont want to hurt my mum i do love her and that is why i dont want her to get in my stuff she dosnt need to know because she can't help and it will only make things worse.

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You do realize you are contradicting yourself at several points in this post alone.

Incidentally... you fail to grasp the concept that YOU are doing things you shouldn't be doing... and are not accepting the reality of it. You are a drug addict that's well on her way to becoming a underage single mother. Yeah... you don't want to face it... but the fact is you are wrong on so many things you are highly likely to end up pregnant soon.

And that doesn't even factor in the illegal drug use that WILL screw your life up. It's not IF... but WHEN.

Your mother has the RIGHT to go through your stuff as she sees fit. If you really care about her like you claim... you would be listening to her.

The fact is by your own words you are a selfish little brat that cares only about what YOU want right now, and don't really care how that affects others.

And another fact is... you can't fix your own problems unless you are able to recognize you have them in the first place. And at 14 you don't have either the mental or emotional maturity to make any decisions yet. And physically you are mature enough to get yourself into a major mess you will never get out of. Like getting pregnant or getting AIDS or Herpes... neither of which can be cured.