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-   -   I am really confused (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=404585)

  • Oct 10, 2009, 02:51 PM
    meli93ssa

    Well first I will try and stop her and then I suppose I ll ask her why is she doing it
    And I feel bad and maybe scared
  • Oct 10, 2009, 03:01 PM
    phlanx

    So do you think your parents are also feeling bad and scared?
  • Oct 10, 2009, 03:04 PM
    meli93ssa

    Maybe I don't know
  • Oct 10, 2009, 03:06 PM
    phlanx

    You say they love you, so of course they will be feeling scared for you and for themselves.

    It does sound like there is a lack of communication on all your parts.

    Have you tried talking to your parents about the incident yet?
  • Oct 10, 2009, 03:22 PM
    meli93ssa

    Before my mum was just about to live the house but I stopped her I talked to her later and she said they will talk tomorrow about the incident when every one is calmed
  • Oct 10, 2009, 03:33 PM
    phlanx

    Breathing space can and usually is needed, but this space is then filled with paranoia and sense of lost

    This feeling will probably stay with you for a while, even after talking to your mom tomorrow, the matter will not be completely sorted out

    Hopefully, you will be able to gain a lille understanding, which in itself will help you

    As I said before understanding brings peace

    Tonight, try to think of ways where you can communicate with your parents

    Avoid stating things at them like you are to blame or it is your fault

    Instead try to convey how you feel, and asking them how they feel

    This is just one way where you can have a calm conversation without it going through the roof in seconds

    Does this make sense?
  • Oct 10, 2009, 03:49 PM
    meli93ssa
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by phlanx View Post
    Breathing space can and usually is needed, but this space is then filled with paranoia and sense of lost

    This feeling will probably stay with you for a while, even after talking to your mom tomorrow, the matter will not be completly sorted out

    Hopefully, you will be able to gain a lille understanding, which in itself will help you

    As I said before understanding brings peace

    Tonight, try to think of ways where you can communicate with your parents

    Avoid stating things at them like you are to blame or it is your fault

    Instead try to convey how you feel, and asking them how they feel

    This is just one way where you can have a calm conversation without it going through the roof in seconds

    Does this make sense?

    yes it does and to be honest your very helpful thank you
  • Oct 10, 2009, 04:04 PM
    phlanx

    You are more than welcome.

    A monk taught me this once - when you go to sleep, try to visualize something nice, away from the problems you are having

    For me, its building a car in my garage with all new tools, I fall asleep thinking about where the spanners will go, next to the screwdrivers or the socket sets, what car I would build etc

    It helps to promote happy chemicals in your brain, so when you drift off to sleep, the brain is surrounded by good thoughts and a better nights sleep is easly achieved

    Please, I ask, if you want to shock your parents, do what we used to do - die our hair blue and red, rip holes in our jeans and listen to really bad music at full volume :) Its a lot safer than the alternative

    Don't forget, there are people around that are there just to listen to you
  • Oct 10, 2009, 04:12 PM
    meli93ssa

    Thank you for the instructions and tips you have been the most helpful person at the time once again thank you

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