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A baby is a lot of hard work and not what you need in your life right now.you need some professional help to sort out the many questions you re asking yourself about your life.you mention BBC 3 are you in the Uk and if so where? And your spelling is not too bad compared to some text speak posts so don't worry about that!
The ladies have given you some darn good advice, and I hope you give it some thought at least. I think your better served to deal with the very real issues you already have, before you add another very big issue to your life.
A baby is not your answer, and I don't care what the boyfriend says, as I know for a fact, he has no clue what he is getting into. He may have good intentions, as do you, but he is not ready for manhood, and the challenges he faces, any more than you are.
Your attraction to each other, and the feelings you share together, are very intense, and strong, but I hope neither of you gets carried away by those feelings, as your just to young right now.
Well said, Tal.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Your looking for love in all the wrong places. Sounds too me, there is something missing in your life at home, if you want a baby at 14. You need to talk to a therapist. You're a child yourself!
My dear,I have told you before I think you are mature for your age given some of the advice you have given.
Being mature for your age and mature enough to handle the life changing aspects of having a child are vastly different.
I agree with everything that has been said and I do understand the desire to have someone who will need you and give you unconditional love.
Babies don't do that.
They take and take because it is all they know.All they know is self love.
Your boyfriend is NOT going to be in the picture,no matter what he says.Look at the statistics of single teen Moms ,the BF's rarely make it more than a year.
While he is out with a new girl who has no responsibilities,you will be home alone with a baby who is sick and throwing up on you and pooping all over the place.
I remember being 33 and having a colicky baby and crying right along with him as I walked the floor,mostly walking in my sleep.Thinking how am I going to get through tomorrow.
You are sleep deprived,you have no social life,you have no money and what you have,must be spent on your baby and you do not get smiles and coos for all your hard labor,you get more of the same the next day.
It is the hardest job I can think of and Moms twice your age have thrown in the towel and ran away from it!
Show the maturity I think you do have on many levels and listen to what these women have told you.They KNOW of what they speak!
OP,
I don't mean to sound harsh but the reality is... how would other people see you or treat you when they heard that you had a baby when you were 14?
Most of them would think that you made a mistake or a morally weak person ( not smart as well).
Let me also ask you if your parents think they are old enough to be grandparents?
Do you think you would be old enough to be a gramma at 28? Cause if you have a baby now, and your baby has a baby at 14, you will be a grandmother when many people are having their first babies.
All I have to say is you aren't allowed a puppy but your parents will be cool with YOU having a baby?
Are you assuming they would baby sit or have you actually told them you want a baby and they can baby sit?
Also how do you plan on supporting the baby financially?
Sorry for repeating others but
Very worth repeating.
I know MANY teens that idealized being a mommy.
The novelity wore off and mom (grandma) was stuck with the baby.
***Addition:
It also gets to me how teens get pregnant thinking everything is going to be rosey
Then the guy is stuck paying child support for 18 years for a baby whose mother he is not longer with.
Or she ends up on welfare because he won't pay.
My daughter is 15... if she had a baby she would be the one responsible... NOT me!
All she really wants is to be loved.
Its very sad that she is not getting that in her life.
She doesn't understand that a baby won't love her though. Babies aren't capable of love for a few years.Quote:
Originally Posted by artlady
Quote:
Originally Posted by N0help4u
I didn't actually say I wasn't allowed a puppy if you actually read what I said. I already have a dog so I'm not allowed another one.
So you figure you might as well have a dog and a baby?
Makes sense to me.
The question STILL is are your parents are okay with the idea of you having a baby?
They don't know how I feel about this, they have no IDEA I want a baby. I'm asking for advise, I'm not saying I'm GOING to.. I just wanted to know what your views are. And I might be young but I'd know I'd be a great mum.
Hun, you are too young to be a great mum. I promise you that.
When that baby keeps crying for 24 hours and you get no sleep and you have to go to school, there is a test that day... how will you handle that?
How will you deal if there is something wrong with your baby?
How will you deal if your baby is born mentally retarded because you are so young and you gave birth prematurely?
These are ALL things, and more, that you have to think of when thinking of becoming pregnant.
I know, you love kids, kids love you, you are a kid magnet, etc. But at the end of the day, those kids go home to mom and dad, where they cry, whine, argue, puke all over their mothers... etc.
At 14 you aren't ready for children.
Get help for your depression.
That will likely cure your need for a baby.
Seriously--if you can't even take care of YOURSELF, how can you take care of a baby?
A baby is NOT a cure for depression. Medication and seeing a counselor ARE good starts on treating it, though.
Start there.
Why do I think that you so strongly want to have a baby, even though you are still a child yourself?
Because being a young mother has been glorified by friends and T.V.
When you think of pregnancy and motherhood you see the glorious side of it. The love and bonding, the laughs and fun times.Quote:
I know I'm making it sound easyer than its going to be. I know its going to be hard, I know the baby will need a lot of attention but I know how I can sort all that
You kind of know the tough side but you are brushing it aside with a "No big deal" I can handle all that sort of attitude. You're not just making it sound easier then it will be, you seem to be believing it to. Oh you may anticipate work but your expectations are still falling short of what it will actually take.
You can't schedule in your baby. Your baby becomes your schedule and you will be lucky to fit anything else in. You can't tell your baby when it will eat and sleep and cry.Quote:
[ I can go bed at about half 3 and wake up at 8 so its prefect for the baby (feeding and stuff).
What gives you the right to put this extra responsibility on your parents. They hae already raised you and if they wanted to care for another baby then you would have a sibling on the way. It is not fair to them plus there is no guarantee that they will be willing to take that on.Quote:
, my mum and dad could baby sit
No, no it won't help your depression. Not once the grand dream becomes a reality. Not once you truly realize how much of your life and youth you will lose. Once you have the baby, your baby becomes your life. Your number one priority. Not you, not what you want or feel.Quote:
I think it would actually help my depression
Honey, yes you might be an excellent mother one day but you don't have the capabilites, mentally or finacially to be as great of a mother as you could be right now. You will be sacrificing both you and the babies quality of life. There are simply things you will not be able to give the child right now.
If you are keen on being a mother then make a plan now and not a baby. Do research, buy books. There are free baby magazines you can subscribe to. Spend this time preparing yourself for the future baby you would like to have. Go baby pricing and organize what you will need and what it will cost and begin building up the money for the items you will need now. Set aside additional money for doctor bills. This way when you are truly ready for parenthood in the years to come you will have a knowledge and financial base that will allow for you to give the baby everything it deserves.
The best love you give a baby, is being fully ready to take care of one, in mind, body, soul, commitment, and finances, because they cost booku bucks to have, and more to raise, and even more, after they start walking, and talking.
Just look at your own parents trying to raise YOU, if you want a preview of how hard things are. There are two of them.
You're all just s, you don't understand how I actually feel. Nobody ing does.. I'm just alone like always :'(
No, hun, we understand. We were 14 once too... we are now parents. So we do understand.Quote:
Originally Posted by Annonimus
No need to swear!!
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