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-   -   A boy I work with is he gay? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=382457)

  • Aug 6, 2009, 05:31 PM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xxbeachbum613xx View Post
    well theres plenty to lose if i do, and im not openly gay....

    idk what to do :(

    I agree coming on to him or anything like that in the work place is not a good idea.
    He knows you are gay so it is up to him to do anything if he is interested.
  • Aug 6, 2009, 05:44 PM
    xxbeachbum613xx
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    I agree coming on to him or anything like that in the work place is not a good idea.
    He knows you are gay so it is up to him to do anything if he is interested.

    He doesn't know I'm gay...
    I hit on girls at the beach we work at so in case if he's not gay, and if I do make a move on him or anything, I can just use the hitting on girls as a way to cover up...
  • Aug 6, 2009, 05:48 PM
    N0help4u

    Oh I was under the impression he was doing these things because he knew you were.

    I still wouldn't make any advances at your work place. Does anybody else at work know you are gay?
  • Aug 6, 2009, 05:49 PM
    xxbeachbum613xx
    Nope, still in the closet haha, don't plan on telling anyone anytime soon anyway, but a secret romance with him would be amazingggg
  • Aug 6, 2009, 05:49 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xxbeachbum613xx View Post
    he doesnt know im gay...
    i hit on girls at the beach we work at so incase if he's not gay, and if i do make a move on him or anything, i can just use the hitting on girls as a way to cover up....

    Have you given any more consideration to my suggestion about coming out?
    Why cheat yourself honey?
    You have an absolute right to be who you are!
  • Aug 6, 2009, 05:53 PM
    artlady

    Here is a link I think may be helpful to you.Just check it out.
    The Trevor Project
  • Aug 6, 2009, 05:54 PM
    N0help4u

    If you don't want your sexuality coming open in the work place you might have to mention it to him outside of work somehow.
  • Aug 6, 2009, 05:58 PM
    xxbeachbum613xx

    artlady, yes I have, but I don't think it would be fair to my family to put them through something like this, when the time is right and my little brother especially matures, I think I could bare coming out... however for now it'll be my little secret :)

    And thank you for that link, I'm looking at trevors YouTube channel and reading up on the website, ill be checking back here soon
  • Aug 6, 2009, 06:05 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xxbeachbum613xx View Post
    artlady, yes i have, but i dont think it would be fair to my family to put them through something like this, when the time is right and my little brother especially matures, i think i could bare coming out... however for now it'll be my little secret :)

    and thank you for that link, im looking at trevors youtube channel and reading up on the website, ill be checking back here soon

    I can tell you without any doubt ,if you were my son,I would be disappointed to learn that you felt you had to lead a secret life for MY benefit.
    I would want you to be who you are and I would love you and support you.
    Your younger brother has to learn the facts of life sooner or later,maybe you can be the one to enlighten him and in doing stop the gay bashing that is so prevalent among teens.
    Tolerance is something we learn and pass on.
  • Aug 6, 2009, 06:19 PM
    xxbeachbum613xx
    Oh another thing happened today...

    His 24 year old family friend that's a girl that is an assistant manager at the beach club asked me if I was gay today...

    However I was discussing how I saw a guy peering through a hole in the wall checking out girls, imo I thought it was just purely perverted and I was telling her this... then just in the middle of the conversation, she asked me if I was gay...

    So I don't know if the boy I liked asked her to ask me that or she was just curious? Idk what to think anymore...
  • Aug 6, 2009, 06:23 PM
    justcurious55

    Only one way to find out. That's to ask. :)
  • Aug 6, 2009, 06:26 PM
    N0help4u

    Maybe next time he does something like draw your name in hearts on the wall jokingly laugh and say ''what are you gay or something! ''

    That way you haven't left the closet but it may give you a chance to see his reaction or hear his reply.
  • Aug 6, 2009, 06:28 PM
    xxbeachbum613xx
    Oooh great idea, I'll have to do that...


    Also I remember introducing him to a couple of good looking friends that were girls and I asked him what he thought of them and he sort of just like shrugged his shoulders and didn't really give me an answer...
  • Aug 6, 2009, 06:45 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Maybe next time he does something like draw your name in hearts on the wall jokingly laugh and say ''what are you gay or something!?''

    That way you haven't left the closet but it may give you a chance to see his reaction or hear his reply.

    Can't rep you HBOH (honeybunches o help) but that is a good way to break the ice and start a dialog if indeed there will be one.
  • Aug 6, 2009, 06:46 PM
    justcurious55

    What about asking about other guys? Like actors? You'd be able to see his reaction to that. And then if you felt like you needed to, play it off as a joke. My boyfriend isn't gay or even bi but he still jokes around about "oh, that guy is sooo hot!" and me and my girlfriends give him a hard time whenever we watch a movie with a hot actor.
  • Aug 6, 2009, 06:56 PM
    N0help4u

    Yeah ask if anybody saw Brokeback Mountain and what they thought of it
  • Aug 6, 2009, 07:03 PM
    xxbeachbum613xx
    Hmm don't know if that's a great idea being that its clearly gay, and I think it would be like me basically say yea I'm gay...

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