Ask Me Help Desk - I think my mom's too paranoid

Quote:

Originally Posted by bandgeek121

are you saying that i don't already do most of that stuff? i am able to move out of the house in 3 1/2 years thank you very much plus this post was about asking how i could talk to my mom about this not YOUR opinions about my age and decision making. and who says i even want kids? who are you people to assume that?

Oh, the tone, the tone!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

"a different gender"? - like boys? Smart lady!

So you have regular chores, volunteer somewhere, help neighbors, read at least one book a week, and know how to cook and bake?

Besides the volunteering because she won't let me, yes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bandgeek121

besides the volunteering because she won't let me, yes.

So the book you are currently reading is what? And the one you just finished is what? Name five ingedients that go into brownies. Please list the chores you do every day.

I understand how it feels to have a mother that you think is overbearing but she has your best interest at heart.

My mom was the same and I use to say "I am never going be that way if I have a daughter" in my head. However, guess what? I have a daughter and is the same way.

I used to say to myself "I can't wait when I get older to move out and be free" but guess what? Now I realized I had it easy because I didn't have to worry about bills and only had to follow rules.

Be lucky you don't have an Army dad because things could be worst. Believe me! My dad was in the Army and he ran the house like a boot camp.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bandgeek121

besides the volunteering because she won't let me, yes.

Have you asked her or are you just assuming? I'm sure your mother would let you volunteer it is an added plus for your future.

Sarah

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So the book you are currently reading is what? And the one you just finished is what? Name five ingedients that go into brownies. Please list the chores you do every day.

I am currently reading "STOTAN!" by chris crutcher and I just finished "The Moscow Vector" by robert ludlum. Five ingredients that go into brownies are flour,sugar,chocolate,eggs,and baking powder. Wash laundry, fold laundry, dishes, vacuum, dust, clean the kitchen after every meal, clean out the cat box, feed the dog and cats, keep my room clean, take care of my younger brother until my parents get home from work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bandgeek121

i am currently reading "STOTAN!" by chris crutcher and i just finished "The Moscow Vector" by robert ludlum. five ingredients that go into brownies are flour,sugar,chocolate,eggs,and baking powder. wash laundry, fold laundry, dishes, vacuum, dust, clean the kitchen after every meal, clean out the cat box, feed the dog and cats, keep my room clean, take care of my younger brother until my parents get home from work.

You do realize Ludlum is dead, don't you?

What is the ingeniously dangerous weapon that Dudarev plans to use to reinstitute the Soviet Union?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You do realize Ludlum is dead, don't you?

I didn't say it was a new book and plus there were two authors ludlum and Patrick Larkin and it was a bio-weapon that was made to strike a particular person by their DNA from within the body without leaving a trace of its passage

Quote:

Originally Posted by bandgeek121

i didn't say it was a new book and plus there were two authors ludlum and Patrick Larkin and it was the mysterious "disease"

Ludlum was already dead when this book came out.

It isn't a good idea to bash the answers you don't like. This only shows the immature side of you. Everyone is going you their honest opinon even if you don't want to hear it.

Your mom isn't abusing nor neglecting you. She is only a concern parent. No matter what your going have to live by her rules.

Now you need to apolgize to the people you gave a reddie and read the rules on the rating system.

We all are older than you so show come respect. Even though you might not see it, we all are giving you our honest feedback to your question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bandgeek121

i didn't say it was a new book and plus there were two authors ludlum and Patrick Larkin and it was a bio-weapon that was made to strike a particular person by their DNA from within the body without leaving a trace of its passage

Good copying and pasting! Which person's DNA?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Good copying and pasting! Which person's DNA?

1) did you read the book
2)what makes you think I copied it and pasted it
3) this is not what I was asking so stop wasting space on this thread
4) if you really want to talk about this book go join a book club

Look I don't want to get involved in this banter, but I do want to say that if you want to see some changes with your mother - then you need to talk to her - choose your time - and make a good argument for what you'd like to change.

You then need to show that you can follow through and be trusted.

Fourteen is young. I have a 14 year old daughter and I feel that it's my responsibility to protect, guide and nurture her. So, she can't do everything she wants.

However, if she wants to do something, and she can provide me with assurance that: - she is mature enough to handle whatever it is - she will be safe - etc, etc, then I am prepared to consider her request.

If your mother is over protective - then provide her with proof that you will be protected in whatever activity it is that you're proposing. Running at 4 am (was that a typo?) does not fit with this, so of course she's going to refuse.

You need to approach her with a plan. For example - "this is what I would like to do, and this is how I will ensure that your requirements for my safety are looked after". Start with small things and then once she knows you're responsible and she can trust you, you can progress to bigger things. Ask her to give you a little more freedom for a month, as a trial, and then she can re-evaluate.

Don't get cross with her, and take it slowly. Remember she's letting go of her protectiveness and this will take time.

Have you got a mobile phone? If not, get one and she can then ring you to ensure that you're OK when you're out or not around her. Try to make sure she always knows where you are and who you're with.

Good luck!

You little girl have a terrible attitude. It shows for your age. You need to get your act together. Start listening to your mother.

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

You little girl have a terrible attitude. It shows for your age. You need to get your act together. Start listening to your mother.

Who says I don't listen to my mother? I do listen to my mother and you are just a lady with a bad attitude towards the younger population.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bandgeek121

who says i don't listen to my mother? i do listen to my mother and you are just a lady with a bad attitude towards the younger population.

You have no idea what your talking about. Younger population. No not really, just smarter then you because I have a lot more experience in my life then you do. Better get that chip off your shoulder someday or you will find somebody will knock it off for you. Some people will learn the hard way, it looks like your going to be one of them.

I do not have a bad attitude towards a younger population but I do know what I am talking about.

You are in a tough spot. You feel you are old enough to start doing things on your own. Your mom feels like you aren't. I noticed you mentioned that you sit in side when it is sunny and 70 degrees. Does your mom not let you out at 11:00am, or noon?

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Originally Posted by spitvenom

You are in a tough spot. You feel you are old enough to start doing things on your own. Your mom feels like you aren't. I noticed you mentioned that you sit in side when it is sunny and 70 degrees. Does your mom not let you out at 11:00am, or noon?

My parents are at work all day and she thinks if I go outside I'm going to run off somewere and something bad is going to happen.

So you are stuck in the house all day?

Bad things CAN happen. And they happen when you least expect them. :rolleyes:

You can learn things at home. You have the internet, you have found this site, and there's a science and education section where you can ask and answer questions, which I'm sure you'll find interesting. So, you don't have to stay idle at home when your parents are not at home.