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-   -   Am I a bad girlfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=360654)

  • Jun 7, 2009, 07:05 AM
    lolly1404

    No your not a bad girlfriend stay with what your comfortable with if he loved you enough he would not care what you were wearing. He should love you for who you are! Its all about trust an so what if other men were to look at you if your not going after them it fine this is his problem not yours! Good look and stay possitive x
  • Jun 7, 2009, 04:03 PM
    TJ17

    Don't let him be controlling otherwise he'll do it with everything, put your foot down.
    If he doesn't trust u enough then lose the loser.
  • Jun 7, 2009, 04:26 PM
    N0help4u

    Very insecure and once you give in to that request more will follow... many many more.

    Does he stare at other women that wear short shorts and low cut tops??
  • Jun 7, 2009, 07:27 PM
    Jake2008
    Had to share the rep nohelp, but you are right on the money in my opinion.

    First is starts with the clothes, then the makeup, then the way you talk, walk, etc. etc. etc.

    It is ALL about control, and those that control in this manner are insecure. Very often when women allow themselves to be 'moulded' and controlled this way, they open themselves up for serious repercussions when they don't obey, and stay within the comfort level of the one who has the power over them.

    If you give up your own personal power, and succumb to the control and domination by another, it will affect you emotionally, physically, psychologically more and more as the relationship goes on. You'll find yourself wanting to please him to avoid trouble, and hang on his every word.

    Don't give in to this. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has the absolute right to define, determine, and control, who you are.

    I would say that if you let him start now, it will only lead to grief.
  • Jun 17, 2009, 01:15 PM
    carly381

    I have the same problem with my boyfriend, I would just suggest not to give in, you are being you and he should love you for who you are and not try to change you.
  • Jun 17, 2009, 10:07 PM
    melly07

    All right, this is coming from another teenager, my boyfriend tells me the same things, and I've learnt to realize that I have to understand that I can't be too revealing but then again yeah it is summer, don't wear low cut tops but wear things that show skin, but don't over do it, remember he is your boyfriend, no guy wants another guy to see their girlfriend in a way they would only want to see her.
  • Jul 6, 2009, 12:04 PM
    jaimie02

    Don't change for him

    He should trust that you isn't going to do anything with other guys and I think that he should love for other guys to look at you because he can show you off to the world and know that you are still his... just my opinion.

    And when I say you're his, I don't mean that he owns you
  • Jul 6, 2009, 12:17 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma

    I think the collective decision here is: Don't change for anyone!!
  • Oct 12, 2009, 11:57 AM
    CGM91

    If your girlfriend is wearing a bra size way too big to the point that all her breasts are exposed when she bends over, is that acceptable? Should the boyfriend just sit back and say whatev, its her body?
  • Oct 12, 2009, 12:09 PM
    Jake2008
    He may not like it, but she should not allow him to demand that she coverup.

    Why do young women think it is okay for a boyfriend, to determine how they should look, or what is acceptable to wear in public, and what is not.

    Do any of the young women here think this is a potential problem, or is it just part of being in a relationship in your opinion. Are there any red flags to that?

    Curious why is all.
  • Oct 12, 2009, 01:15 PM
    CGM91
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    He may not like it, but she should not allow him to demand that she coverup.

    Why do young women think it is okay for a boyfriend, to determine how they should look, or what is acceptable to wear in public, and what is not.

    Do any of the young women here think this is a potential problem, or is it just part of being in a relationship in your opinion. Are there any red flags to that?

    Curious why is all.

    So you think it is acceptable to flaunt your private parts around when you are in a committed relationship?

    No, he should not demand that she cover up but he should make sure she knows that he is uncomfortable with her showing other guys what should only be showed to him. Do you agree?
  • Oct 12, 2009, 01:21 PM
    Jake2008
    What you don't get is that the point I am making is, a girlfriend is not the property of her boyfriend. A wife is not the property of her husband, etc.

    How a person dresses, behaves, their morals, values, sense of independence, confidence etc. should not be dictated by what their partner thinks is acceptable to them.

    I would not choose to let my boobs hang out, because that is not something I would do. But, if bimbo head wishes to let hers fall out, that is her choice. If her boyfriend doesn't like it, perhaps he should choose a different kind of partner.

    He cannot demand, insist, threaten, or make his girlfriend do anything she doesn't choose to do.

    And to think I burned my best bra to defend choice, and in 2009, women still cave when their boyfriends demand it.
  • Oct 12, 2009, 01:28 PM
    CGM91
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    What you don't get is that the point I am making is, a girlfriend is not the property of her boyfriend. A wife is not the property of her husband, etc.

    How a person dresses, behaves, their morals, values, sense of independence, confidence etc., should not be dictated by what their partner thinks is acceptable to them.

    I would not choose to let my boobs hang out, because that is not something I would do. But, if bimbo head wishes to let hers fall out, that is her choice. If her boyfriend doesn't like it, perhaps he should choose a different kind of partner.

    He cannot demand, insist, threaten, or make his girlfriend do anything she doesn't choose to do.

    And to think I burned my best bra to defend choice, and in 2009, women still cave when their boyfriends demand it.

    Hm, I didn't say that the boyfriend had to control the girlfriend. I said do you think it acceptable that the girlfriend is flaunting her body around while in a committed relationship? :confused:
  • Oct 12, 2009, 01:34 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma

    Wearing a revealing shirt isn't flaunting. Girls like to wear what makes them feel pretty. It doesn't mean that if she puts on a shirt that shows a bit of cleavage she wants to sleep with every guy that walks past. That's ridiculous.
  • Oct 12, 2009, 01:43 PM
    CGM91

    So you think it is acceptable to allow other guys to see your goodies even when in a relationship. Okay, I respect your opinion. Don't agree with it, but I will respect it.
  • Oct 12, 2009, 01:48 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma

    A bit of cleavage isn't "goodies". I think you are exaggerating. You're acting like she's walking around without pants on or a skirt with no underwear. So should women in relationships wear Moo-moos? I enjoy looking nice for myself and my man, and if I'm showing cleavage, he doesn't care. Cause he knows that I'm feeling pretty & I'm going home with him no matter what.
  • Oct 12, 2009, 02:16 PM
    CGM91
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma View Post
    A bit of cleavage isn't "goodies". I think you are exaggerating. You're acting like she's walking around without pants on or a skirt with no underwear. So should women in relationships wear Moo-moos? I enjoy looking nice for myself and my man, and if I'm showing cleavage, he doesn't care. Cause he knows that I'm feeling pretty & I'm going home with him no matter what.


    What do you define as cleavage? I am stating if your girlfriend or you is wearing a bra that is far too big and easily shows your whole breasts, is that not considered "goodies?" I am pretty sure it is. Would you be comfortable with your boyfriend wearing shorts that are so short that his penis is viewable by other females and males?
  • Oct 12, 2009, 02:37 PM
    Jake2008
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by dummfounded View Post
    my boyfriend gets mad at me if i wear anything too revealing around other people, but he loves it when i wear them around him, he says he doesnt want any other guys to be looking at me like that. I don't usually like wearing short shorts and low cut shirts, but it's summer and thats what i've always worn. Should i change the way i dress?

    Getting back to the original poster here, the question was, "Should I change the way I dress?"

    The answer of course, is absolutely not.

    CGM91- Everybody is going to have an opinion on the OP's question. Maybe she will come back and let us all know what she thinks of it all.
  • Dec 12, 2010, 04:49 PM
    lordielord
    You schouldent ware them because if u love him u sld olny want him look at u and no one elce
  • Dec 13, 2010, 05:23 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma

    This post is over a year old. Any more advice won't really affect the situation, I don't think. Although I disagree with your point of view.

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