Ask Me Help Desk - Feeling worthless

On your next date, tell her you are doing a kissing survey. You will kiss her at the end of the date and she is the judge of how you did based on how romantic it was, how honest, how messy, how effective, etc. You very much need her input. Ask her how you can improve on your kissing technique.

Or ask her about your dating style.

She's just a date, not your next wife.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You're the only one who gets rejected all the time?????????? Stick around and read the questions that get posted on this site. I can't believe anyboy finds anybody based on what I read here.

Just shrug your shoulders and say "So what!" and keep asking girls out. After one date, you don't even have a relationship to get upset about losing. Sheesh.

Yeah but it sounds like your getting mad I appreciate the help a lot I really do but its nothing to get mad over

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

yeah but it sounds like your getting mad i appreciate the help a lot i really do but its nothing to get mad over

I'm not mad at all! I'm remembering all the angst and worry I had when I was your age and how stupid it all was. I'm giving you the precious gift of my many years of dating and vast experience and supreme intelligence.

And if I were mad, so what. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with me. Stop taking rejection personally. You end up being a self-imposed victim and then will start whining like a martyr does. You don't want to be a victim and a martyr, do you?

Feeling rejection every time a girl frowns at you or kisses another guy or doesn't text you back again is soooooooooooooo counterproductive. You should feel ELATED that she's one more frogette out of your life and one you don't have to think about any longer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm not mad at all! I'm remembering all the angst and worry I had when I was your age and how stupid it all was. I'm giving you the precious gift of my many years of dating and vast experience and supreme intelligence.

And if I were mad, so what. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with me. Stop taking rejection personally. You end up being a self-imposed victim and then will start whining like a martyr does. You don't want to be a victim and a martyr, do you?

Feeling rejection every time a girl frowns at you or kisses another guy or doesn't text you back again is soooooooooooooo counterproductive. You should feel ELATED that she's one more frogette out of your life and one you don't have to think about any longer.

Yeah like I said I really do appreciate all your doing. But you've raised another question I really don't know how not to take rejection personally

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

yeah like i said i really do appreciate all your doing. but you've raised another question i really don't know how not to take rejection personally

Just decide not to take it personally. It's your choice, after all. Reframe it. Think about all those frogettes. You've rejected or ignored a ton of girls yourself. How do they feel?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Just decide not to take it personally. It's your choice, after all. Reframe it. Think about all those frogettes. You've rejected or ignored a ton of girls yourself. How do they feel?

Yea I see... I don't think I've ever rejected a girl before now I can be wrong I just don't believe I have anytime a girl asked me which was like 3 times I agreed to go out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

yea i see.... i don't think i've ever rejected a girl before now i can be wrong i just dont believe i have anytime a girl asked me which was like 3 times i agreed to go out.

What about all those girls you've never asked out on a date?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What about all those girls you've never asked out on a date?

Well they didn't miss out on much

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

well they didn't miss out on much

Bingo! There's your problem. You don't like you very much. If even you don't like you, how can anyone else like you? You attract what you project. Stop putting out such awful vibes!!

Tell me how tomorrow will be different, will be an improvement. Promise me you will make one small change, one improvement in how you project yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Bingo! There's your problem. You don't like you very much. If even you don't like you, how can anyone else like you? You attract what you project. Stop putting out such awful vibes!!!

Tell me how tomorrow will be different, will be an improvement. Promise me you will make one small change, one improvement in how you project yourself.

Yeah OK I accept your challenge I'm starting to understand some more
I uh I will instead of listening to my iPod all day during school I might try to talk to people is that what your talking about?

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

Yeah ok i accept your challenge i'm starting to understand some more
i uh i will instead of listening to my ipod all day during school i might try to talk to people is that what your talking about?

"Some people" is kind of vague. Let's fancy that up a little bit and get more specific. Who? What could you say (generally)? How will you look and act? Will you be a good listener or will you babble your head off?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

"Some people" is kinda vague. Let's fancy that up a little bit and get more specific. Who? What could you say (generally)? How will you look and act? Will you be a good listener or will you babble your head off?

Argg your to strict but still I accept I won't just talk like an airhead I will simply converse. But with who I can't really say I will just know the right moment like when I usually try to back away and stay solitaire I will instead try to make the situation more comfortable by uh breaking the ice I think its called. I will ask how people are doing and stuff like that and try not to look nervous all the time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, shank90!

Aren't there any groups or clubs in which you could get involved where you could meet girls with whom you could become friends?

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

Um I was going to get in the math and science club but I was to late but other than that there is not too much going on in this P.O.S town.

Hi again, shank90!

Thanks for answering my question that I asked you much earlier on this thread! What was in that post is quoted above.

Do you participate in music or sports activities as a player or musician, please?

Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

argg your to strict but still i accept i wont just talk like an airhead i will simply converse. but with who i can't really say i will just know the right moment like when i usually try to back away and stay solitaire i will instead try to make the situation more comfortable by uh breaking the ice i think its called. i will ask how people are doing and stuff like that and try not to look nervous all the time.

You will simply be a good listener - and don't have to carry the conversation. Say stuff like "Wow!" or "Cool!" or "Tell me more" or "You don't say....." and do good eye contact and look interested, even smile a little. Girls LOVE to talk so practice with one of them.

I want a report tomorrow evening. Before midnight. Don't forget.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You will simply be a good listener - and don't have to carry the conversation. Say stuff like "Wow!" or "Cool!" or "Tell me more" or "You don't say....." and do good eye contact and look interested, even smile a little. Girls LOVE to talk so practice with one of them.

I want a report tomorrow evening. Before midnight. Don't forget.

OK well I have to go to bed I will talk tomorrow
Again thanks a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi again, shank90!

Thanks for answering my question that I asked you much earlier on this thread! What was in that post is quoted above.

Do you participate in music or sports activities as a player or musician, please?

Thanks!

Yes I play the guitar piano and trombone
My favorite sport probably cause it's the one that I'm best at is soccer

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

Yes i play the guitar piano and trombone
my favorite sport prolly cause its the one that im best at is soccer

That's great! Then we can go from there! I was hoping that you at least played some kind of instrument!

Wondergirl is wonderful! Please do follow her advice! I can help you to do some things that might help you to feel better about yourself that maybe might make you feel more attractive and also how you might attract others as well as realize your full potential as to what you might have to offer someone with whom you might want to become intimate.

Later...

Thanks!

Hi shank90 am BabyDoll I think you just haven't found the right person for you. But don't worry in time you will find someone who wants the same thing you want. You seem like a nice person and there is someone for everyone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

That's great! Then we can go from there! I was hoping that you at least played some kind of instrument!

Wondergirl is wonderful! Please do follow her advice! I can help you to do some things that might help you to feel better about yourself that maybe might make you feel more attractive and also how you might attract others as well as realize your full potential as to what you might have to offer someone with whom you might want to become intimate.

Later...

Thanks!

Cool thanks for the input I would love the advice

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyDoll22

hi shank90 am BabyDoll I think you just haven't found the right person for you. but don't worry in time you will find someone who wants the same thing you want. you seem like a nice person and their is somone for everyone.

Thanks that was nice I'm just still wondering if that one person is out there ( or as Wondergirl would say any froggetts )