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-   Teens (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=327)
-   -   Close to sex. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=265001)

  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:03 PM
    Alty

    That's all we can ask.

    Look, we've all been there, we've all made mistakes, that's why we are giving you this advice.

    You're young, you should have fun, live your life, grow, learn, laugh, cry, but, there are some mistakes you don't have to live through in order to learn from them.

    This is one of those mistakes. Wait a while, there's no harm in waiting. Trust me, you won't be a virgin forever. :)
  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:04 PM
    follow please
    Thanks, and I certainly hope you are taking this to heart. I just want you to live life happyily. I want future children to live happily, I want your depression and suicidal tendencies to flutter away and show you how great life can be. Live love and learn. I can only beg you that you take this seriously. Some of these others are trying to make their points in a brash way, ignore the rudeness in them and extract the message. Wait awhile, life DOES and WILL get better, and you'll realize what mentality you should adopt, you'll realize how important life is, and how great it is to love. Not just love of the opposite sex, but love of those around you and how they all affect your life. I beg of you, listen, don't refuse. Advice from the world (multiple views) is a great thing to have access to.

    Live love and learn
  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:04 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ylaira View Post
    be prepared for 2 hours sleep a day for more than a year

    More than a year? Try 18+. And it's so nice that mine are adults (over 30) now. No more school lunch making, no more getting up at 6 to get them ready for school, no more waiting up while they are out on dates, no more getting up at night to clean up vomit and change the entire bed, no more runs to the ER, no more three-hour waits at the dentist.
  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:07 PM
    Alty

    Yes, we are sometimes brash or rude. Follow, you're advice is very well written, very well said. When you've been on this site as long as I have you'll understand why we are sometimes rude or brash.

    I deal with teens like this sometimes 20 times a day on this site alone. Do you want to know how many of them actually listen? Out of 20 I'm happy if 1 of them does. Out of the remaining 19 at least 12 of them will come back to say she thinks she's pregnant. Those aren't great odds.

    So, sometimes you have to be brash and rude in order to get your point across. I've tried nice and undestanding, it doesn't work.
  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:10 PM
    Allforthebroken

    All right... I understand that much... and ill try my best to make the right decisions in life and to just be smart...
    Thank you all again
  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:10 PM
    follow please

    Im real sorry if I offended you, I don't want to make stabs at your... profession if I can call it that. Im purely saying that if I'm on here for advice id rather have the understanding approach, but have STRONG points made for me to make my decision from. Again, sorry.
  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:12 PM
    follow please
    Your welcome AllForTheBroken. I hope you keep everyone's advice in mind, not only for this subject but anything else it may apply to. Have fun, and don't rush things that need great consideration.

    Follow Please,
    Live Love and Learn.
  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:17 PM
    BlessdWitTalenT

    Even though you probably already made up your mind, listen to my story. If you ready you won't be nervous the first time. And the first time I had sex it was retarded. I kept slipping out and she was uncomfortable and it was just a reck. 2nd time we had sex it was amazing, more comfortable, it felt right and everything went smooth. Don't expect you first time to be great, and give your guy a break if he screws up. He'll feel bad if you blame him for how bad it went. Its just natural that the 1st time is terrible.
  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:18 PM
    Wondergirl

    Quote:

    ylaira agrees: I mean if the kid is sick,mother can't sleep & has to wake up every 2 hours when the infant peed or hungry.
    Do you want to know many nights I didn't get even two hours of sleep because they were sick or because they stayed out all night against the rules or because I worried about something going on in their lives? My internal alarm clock still rings, even though they are adults. I will never sleep as long or as well as I did before I had children. And they were basically good kids.
  • Sep 29, 2008, 08:20 PM
    Alty

    Allforthebroken, all we can ask is that you give it some thought. If you at least do that before jumping into anything, that would be a great step. We are here if you need to talk, if you have questions, or anything else. Remember that. The people on this site are great, no question is too ridiculous, trust me. :)

    Followplease. No offense taken. This isn't my profession, but I do try my very best to give good advice on this site. I am kind when I need to be, and harsh when I need to be.

    With most of the teens on this site, kindness does nothing, harshness is the only thing that gets through.

    I care about these kids, I don't want to see them make these huge mistakes, so I take the harsh approach, that's the one that I find works the most.

    Go to the teen forum or the pregnancy forum, you'll realize pretty quickly that the nice approach doesn't work most of the time.

    It's sad, but true. I'd rather be mean and get through than be kind and ignored.
  • Sep 29, 2008, 09:30 PM
    KISS

    Hey, you havta remember that guys think about sex about every five minutes when they are younger.

    FWIW, don't even consider penetration at this point. The massage, the mutual undressing, the mutual shower and the laying down and caressing each other. You need that before you even consider penetration.

    I you'd like, dabble into oral sex. But NO penetration. Bear in mind that pregnancy can occur with precum, so be careful.

    Each of you must understand that No means No. By saying we will not have penetration, is a good way to evaluate just how trusting a partner really is.

    Remember that the male will be thinking with his "little head" and that brain isn't too smart.

    You really don't want to loose your virginity in a car or if a parent comes knocking on the door. It needs to be special and occurs in stages.

    I'm afraid that if you rush things, you may end up having bad thought the rest of your life on how you were his W***e.

    In a past life I was a rabbit. No kids, though. The guy with the little head will always want sex and not intimacy. You don't want that. You won't enjoy it because of the fear of pregnancy.

    Plan for all possible contingencies.
  • Sep 29, 2008, 10:50 PM
    Xrayman

    Oh dear. This is pure unadulterated, immaturity, you are a kid. Play with some dolls and if you have to, yourself until you grow up and understand consequences and reality.

    Holy mackerel.

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