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-   -   Asking her to the dance (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=24814)

  • Apr 20, 2006, 04:21 AM
    fredg
    Hi, Someguy,
    No, there isn't much you can do until Monday. Just accept the fact that you are going to ask her Monday, or Tuesday, if you don't get the chance on Monday.
    One of your answers had this:
    "but if you are confident in yourself, you could convince her to go with you."
    This above quote might or might not be true. There are seminars and classes in being a Sales person, given by some of the top companies in the world, on how to sell products. Some people will not buy the product, no matter how hard you try. One old saying I heard that if "you can sell ice to someone living at the North Pole", you are a good salesperson!
    My suggestion is to keep a smile on your face, always SMILE.
    A Smile shows you are a friendly person, and others will want to smile with you, and most of the time, want to be your friend.
    So, when you ask her, have a SMILE on your face. Being confident always helps some, but having confidence does not always get you what you want.
  • Apr 21, 2006, 12:42 PM
    someguy222
    I was talking to her online last night for about an hour and we had a nice friendly conversation, talked about movies and school and stuff, but I didn't ask her out because she's on vacation with a friend so I took your earlier advice about that. Thanks for everyone's advice!
  • Apr 21, 2006, 12:45 PM
    DrJ
    You were chatting with her online for an hour but didn't ask her? What are you waiting for? You can't just wait for the right moment... you need to create it! If you keep waiting, some other guy might swoop in and ask her before you get the chance to. Sure its better to ask her in person... but Id rather ask her over chat than miss my chance just because I waited to ask her in person.
  • Apr 21, 2006, 12:48 PM
    someguy222
    She's on vacation with some friends and stuff and a few people earlier told me I shouldn't ask her when she was with friends and put her on the spot, she may act different with friends, etc... also since she's on vacation, I don't think anyone is going to ask her before she gets back.
  • Apr 21, 2006, 12:55 PM
    DrJ
    That was me that said that lol

    Yeah, that's true.. if she's chatting with her friends around, better to wait till she's alone. Are you sure she's not going with anyone already?
  • Apr 21, 2006, 12:57 PM
    someguy222
    I'm not quite sure but I don't think she is, the dance is may 20th so it doesn't seem like many people have asked anyone probably.
  • Apr 23, 2006, 04:36 PM
    s_cianci
    Ask her and find out. You've got nothing to lose. Based on what you've said I think chances are pretty good that she'd go with you.
  • Apr 23, 2006, 07:50 PM
    love and be loved
    See some one agrees with me that you chances are good :p
  • Sep 22, 2006, 12:15 PM
    someguy222
    Just friends
    OK so I'm 16, and there's a girl I like and we are friends right now we met over the summer at my friends grad party and chilled there for a couple hours and we talk online 1-2 times a week. In her blog she took a 'love survey' and in it said that she definitely would rather be friends first rather than just going out. She also said that she waits for the guy to make the first move. What I'm confused about is how will I know when to make the first move and how good of friends does 'being friends first' imply?
  • Sep 22, 2006, 01:23 PM
    momincali
    Don't take what she wrote in a blog at heart. The only way you will know is if you actually experience it. If all you have is her IM, than ask her for her number. Talk to her for a few of weeks, no more than once, maybe twice a week though, and then ask her out, depending on how the phone thing goes. She may have written the friends first thing just cause it sounded good at the time, it's probably a case by case basis though. Just cause you ask her out doesn't mean you guys have to be all over each other. As a matter of fact, if you do go out with her, only give her a kiss on the cheek good night. That will peak her interest and keep you from getting a reputation that you were too aggressive.
  • Sep 22, 2006, 01:39 PM
    Wildcat21
    Friends first is really a key a STRONG relationship - it's like you her 'girl friend/ buddy-buddy' - it's getting to know each other and sharing things - doing things together.

    The right move is asking her to go do something - food, bunge jumping, sky diving, coffee, dance, sporting event, movies are no good because you don't spend quality time together.
  • Sep 22, 2006, 07:08 PM
    someguy222
    Thanks for your advice, it sounds about what I was thinking but I never thought about it just sounding good to her so she wrote it... anyone else got an opinion?
  • Sep 23, 2006, 09:09 AM
    s_cianci
    Frankly, I wouldn't put too much stock in that "friends first" jazz. That's probably just her way of saying "I like to take things slow", which is always the wise approach. If you really like her then talk to her but don't be too available to her. Spend some time with her in person (but not 3-4 times a week.) When you feel comfortable, make your move.
  • Sep 23, 2006, 01:14 PM
    ineed2know
    Well me and you both pal... all I got to say is... when you feel as if you are in the moment then make your move...
    'being friends first' probably means that she want to get to know you first. I wouldn't blame her.. any more questions?
    Hoped I helped...
  • Sep 23, 2006, 01:17 PM
    someguy222
    Well we are friends already and we kind of know each other like we talk about our sports that we're doing and school n stuff so is that knowing her enough and should I like invite her places like a sporting event or something as friends with some other mutual friends?
  • Sep 23, 2006, 01:26 PM
    ineed2know
    Yea you should try doing that! I like a friend.. he invite me to a game... I cheered him on... he said thxs 4 coming gave me a hug.. I felt good! So I probably think she'll do the same... k let me ask you this...
    How often do you talk to her?
  • Sep 23, 2006, 05:26 PM
    talaniman
    Honestly I believe if you pay attention to people you'll pick-up clues to answer all your questions, and just keep in mind friends have fun and enjoy and when dating have fun and enjoy HMMM... In other words have fun and enjoy yourself.
  • Sep 25, 2006, 11:59 AM
    someguy222
    Any other opinions? Any teenage girls want to chime in?
  • Sep 25, 2006, 12:59 PM
    Gillion
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by someguy222
    any other opinions? any teenage girls wanna chime in?

    In case you didn't realise, teenagers' are usually the worst group of people to ask questions in dealing with relationships. They are just finding out about life.

    Take momincali's advice and use it well.
  • Oct 1, 2006, 01:15 PM
    someguy222
    Anyone else?

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