Ask Me Help Desk - Boyfriend wanting to go to a strip club

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Im not saying the men here feel that way. I was just making a point that if one person feels that its important to them that they HAVE to go to a strip joint then it works both ways. That goes for woman too.
I don't think anyone here said that a stripper is equal to a hooker, although I can see why some would have that opinion.

I like the ChipNDales too, and when I get home, my man is happy that night. Both men and women have a right to "look at the menu, and eat at home" and it does not mean they are perverted. It's sometimes better than having the feeling of having missed something in life.

Also, young people that openly admit that they'd like to try out a strip joint are just curious and it does not mean they will be 'regular' visitors from then on.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/5/5_1_102.gifThat's Entertainment!

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Originally Posted by DrJizzle

Okay, first with the whole "moral" issue... this is not an issue of morals, this is an issue of self-confidence. See here:

She also says that she sees it as cheating but only because she feels that becuase "if he wants to be with me then he should be happy with just seeing me and not other girls naked." The "moral" arguement here is bogus. Shes 17 and having sex but she has a moral issue against her boyfriend seeing another woman naked??

Often times, women get this idea that just because a man gets with her, that suddenly EVERY OTHER woman in the world suddenly become unattractive. It is in a mans nature to be "attractED," as it is in a womans nature to be "attractIVE." Thats just the way it is... you can't go against that. Woman are attractive and men are attracted to them... thats an instict to promote procreation that goes deeper than (almost) anything else.

And Bizygrl, dont take this personally but you are acting as if you had a moral issue with your bf going and the only way to make it right was for you to go see a male stripper.... thats just ridiculous. I have a little moral issue with murder but if my gf gets to do it, Im not going to go kill someone and call it even!?!

And for the record, no, I wouldnt have a problem with my gf going to see a male stripper.... in fact, she will be going to a bachelorette party in a month or so to do exactly that. And you are right, bizygrl... it is hypocritical of someone to assume its okay for them but not for their partner. "putting yourself in thier shoes" as you put it is the key to my relationship. There is not a thing that I do in my life that I dont first ask myself "how would I feel if she was doing this same thing." As I said before, as long as its not out of control and shes not doing this to substitute for anything else, I see no problem with it. Its just a fun night out with the girls. I am confident enough in myself and our relationship to be okay with that. That is what this all comes down to.

Confused123 is worried about this because she feels that she may not be good enough for her bf and that may be the reason he wants to go. "MAYBE" it is... but most likely, he is a young man turning 18 and thats just one of the things you do when you turn 18.

And as Phily and I both put it, men are not at these places groping themselves under the table have strange perversions over these girls. It is professional and if your a true Mac Daddy you keep it that way. If her man IS one of these sick perverts (that usually get bounced out at first sight) then she has OTHER problems.

Umm. Not quite, DR.Jizzle, My boyfriend (now my husband) at the time told me that if ounce in a while he went to strip club, that he wouldn't have a problem with me going to an all male review. At the time I didn't really care, but ounce I turned twentyone a friend and I went a few times. I only went a few times but it just wasn't something I really got into. Then he only went to an actul strip club ounce for a friends birthday and then a bacholor party since we were together, that's it.
The only reason I brought up a morality issue was that someone posted that it may come down to morals, and what confused123 felt about. I was only elaborating on that idea. And that it was a good point to bring up. Its defenitly a different way of looking at it. And whatever I said to that was only my opinion,I don't expect you or anyone else to agree with me.
Im not saying that confused123 should get back at her boyfriend by going to a strip club herself, but instead to ask him how he felt if she were to go to a strip club with friends. I now most guys don't have a problem with it, but some do, read my last post. But I was merely suggesting to have him put himself in her shoes. If he was fine with it great, if not then it would only be fair for her if she WANTED to go, not that she should go.
I didn't take what you said personally I mean we all have our opinions. And you obviously interperated it that way. I just wanted to make it clear that I didn't "try to get back" at my boyfriend for going to a strip club, please I had better things to do!

Well my morality spew was more toward giggles who first brought up the idea. I was just pointing out that this is obviously NOT a morality issue.

But when you say "I didn't "try" to get back at my bf for going to a strip club, please I have better things to do!" But you comment

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Originally Posted by bizygurl

bizygurl agrees: good for you, your a better woman than me, if my man were going to strip clubs Id go to a few of my own

You can see where I got that from. Go if you want to go... don't go because he is.

However, I agree... if HE is not okay with HER going, then he cannot assume that SHE should be okay with HIM going...

I hadn't meant that to be in a get even way. It was meant to be as "Hey if your going to go, then I don't want to hear anything if I decided to go". I guess I didn't word it the right way, sorry if that didn't make sense.considering the post it was on. At first in the begiining yes I was pissed that my boyfriend wanted to go. But we discussed this and we came to a compromise, that I already explained. So that when I did eventually end up going I wasn't doing out of spite. I actually had a good time. But it wasn't really me. No big deal.
I guess this is a topic that a lot of people have different views on.

That's true... we all have our views... all of them right, none of them wrong.

And actually, I don't think that either of us are really disagreeing on anyone thing lol

No not really, you defenitly brought up some good points. And I completely respect your opinion.:D

It is perfectly natural for a young man,or woman to want to spread their wings and try everything that life has to offer,as they cross over to adulthood.There are very few guys that can't wait to see what a strip club is about.You have to apreciate the honesty of a man who tells his g/f that he wants to check it out but trust me your approval is not necessary and he'll just go and not tell you.As a matter of fact anything he wants to do and you don't like it he'll just do it behind your back,can you blame him after all your not his mother nor his boss so ladies ease up a little and have a bit of faith in his judgement and let him play and blow off a lot of steam that's what younger guys do,good grief he's coming home to you isn't he?I've been married more than 30 years and I don't tell my wife what to do or who to party with,as long as its her g/f's and she doesn't tell me and the boys what to do.This is not a moral issue but one of trust,either you do or you don't! Your problem,not mine.:cool:

Totally agree - but at the same time I can understand how it can make a girl feel a bit insecure about her body because I have 2 admit, my boyfriend looks at pics of practically naked women and even THAT gets me annoyed and makes me think I'm not good enuf he's got to go elsewhere to admire the scenery... but then I'm reminded that guys are weird like that and if he's totally into you, there's nothing to worry about because he mite be going to a strip club but coming home to you at the end of night so mayb take that opportunity to remind him of what he's got at home... or better yet - for every time he goes to a strip club, go to a male strip club with some of your girls - see how he likes dem apples? Lol

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It is perfectly natural for a young man,or woman to want to spread their wings and try everything that life has to offer,as they cross over to adulthood.

After all your not his mother nor his boss so ladies ease up a little and have a bit of faith in his judgement and let him play and blow off a lot of steam that's what younger guys do,good grief he's coming home to you isn't he?

Exactly my point. You need to learn to trust each other, that's what makes a relationship strong and gives you more confidence too.

Women will always be a little bothered about their men looking at other women, but don't we look too, when there is a cute guy walking by at the mall? It does not mean we are cheating - it's just a natural thing that's mostly done subconsciously. Like I said before, look at the menu - eat at home. I also had mixed emotions when other women looked at my men, but then I was also proud since it was evident that they thought I had great taste in men - and then I thought "eat your hearts out" and kept on walking...

Women are not the only ones needing compliments now and then. A man appreciates a pat on the bum in the kitchen too.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_6_206.gifHere is where 'show and tell' is more important than it was in 1st and 2d grade at school.

Any guy who would do this knowing that it would hurt you, obviously doesn't care about your emotions. That's not love. He should have "Spread his wings" Before the relationship.

It is cheating. Tell him if he wants to go, then you'll be with him. No if ands or buts. If he goes... tell him maybe he can go out with one of those strippers, and say bye bye to
Mr. Idontrespectmygirlfriend

Then what is the difference with women going to Male reviews and having the men their just because they are dressed in male thongs can rub on the women and put their privates in the girls faces. Is that cheat of course not if you ask women they think it is entertaining. HMMMMM go figure!

Actually, no. I think that's discusting. And yes, it is cheating.

Right I wouldn't like it either its highly sexual seedy and very expensive
The thought of my boyfriend going to see stripper and enjoying a real naked women being close to him dancing and being naked and him seeing her bits makes me feel ill. Ask your boyfriend this would he mind if you were a stripper? If you got naked in front of a man complete stranger. The fact he is with you and really wants to go is pretty sad. I believe your morales to but morales a side I wouldn't want to upset my boyfriend or hurt him or make him insecure in any way, so it's the fact he's doing this to you over another women is pretty crappy to , he needs to sort out what's more important. Strip for him yourself. Tell him how you feel. Truly feel. And unless it's a stag do, which I also don't get then walk away.

My boyfriend is on his way to the strip club right now for the first time. He's going with a bunch of his friends for one of their birthdays. I feel like crap and that I'm not good enough for him but I know he truly loves me. Just believe what your boyfriend is telling you, and if he is lying then he's not worth your time! While he's at the club go out with your girls and have fun and just forget about it!