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-   -   Pregnant at 16 and the father walked out (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=117881)

  • Aug 11, 2007, 04:18 AM
    Chery
    Honey, if Ryland's parents want to be involved in this, and you get along with them, go to them and don't worry about him.

    The more positive assistance you get, the better. They probably know what their son is capable of as far as emotional stress goes and they will be able to handle it also.

    Let him know that you are sure it is his baby and will be able to prove such if he insists, but that he can pay for the test after the baby is born. That will either shut him up for a while so that you can have a stressless gestation period - which is what we need at this time.

    So, again - this problem is not a new one and you can work on it and others as long as you don't stress yourself out.

    Keep in touch and rest as much as possible when the job allows.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif
  • Aug 11, 2007, 06:37 PM
    s_cianci
    I hope you at least plan on suing the "significant other" for child support. If he's as young as you he probably doesn't have much earning power as of yet and therefore can't pay a whole lot, but that can be modified as the years go by and he becomes capable of earning more and thus paying more. Getting the judgement will be an important first step and he'll have to comply whether he wants to or not.
  • Aug 11, 2007, 07:01 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Yes I agree with s_cianci, use the law and learn to protect yourself!

    Be strong,learn from what you have done the "right" and the "wrong", remember the things that don't kill you will make you stronger girl.
  • Aug 11, 2007, 08:24 PM
    Young-Love
    Yes well I'm waiting to hear back from his aprents. The hard thing for his parents right now is his family is Jahova Witness. He never told me the entire time we were together. If I had known I would have backed off completely because religion is important to some people... but obviously not to him.

    He knows he has to pay child support but I don't think he realizes how much it is... same with the Paternity test. In Canada it can cost up to 900 dollars.

    I know he is just as scared as I am and his parents aren't handling it sooo well but I know I have definitely learned from this.

    It has made me stronger, nicespringgirl, and it will continue to do so :)
  • Sep 21, 2007, 07:17 AM
    victoriashleigh
    You will be fine, My mom had me at your age and I don't think she could have been a better mom! Im 19 now and my mom is my best friend. Everything will be okay.
  • Sep 23, 2007, 01:15 PM
    InPain488
    Kids cannot always be a good thing. My dad killed himself because of me. He hated me...
    According to his note, Kids ruin you're life...
  • Dec 6, 2008, 03:24 PM
    GeekerGirl86

    SUE THE M F'er for child support.. I don't know the laws for Canada but I'm sure they are pretty similar to the US.. You can gain child support.. And he'll have nothing to say about that.. It maight req. a paternity test so be prepared.. But it'll all work out.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 06:38 AM
    ingrid119

    Good luck to you. The only advice I know to give that hasn't been said is make some time for yourself once the baby comes (though I'm sure in the beginning it will be difficult!). Just go to the movies or get your nails done with some close friends at least a couple times a month. Sometimes everything can get too stressful and hectic so you need to be able to spend some time for yourself, to leave the situation so you will be able to go back and appreciate time with your child more. It will make difficult times a lot more endurable.
  • Dec 11, 2008, 12:54 PM
    Kratos1963

    Your naivety doesn't surprise me. Your still A baby yourself. But now it's time to grow up. Your life has just been put on the back burner. From this point forward every significant decision you make has to go through the test (how will my decision impact my child's life).

    My advice, focus on your education. Refrain from sexual intercourse until you understand completely the concepts of planned parenthood and safe sex.
  • Dec 11, 2008, 12:56 PM
    Kratos1963
    1 more thing. Be more prudent about who you jump in the sack with. Your baby's father appears to be a punk.
  • Dec 12, 2008, 09:15 AM
    roxy8120

    My guess is uve had the baby how are u doing!
  • Dec 12, 2008, 09:35 AM
    Justwantfair

    All you can do is one day at a time now.

    Continue your education, get your degree, do everything you can while they are little, so when you move out of mommy and daddy's house and have to do it all on your own you can hold a job that will allow you to care for yourself and your child.

    I had my son at 17. It's not easy, if I could change my actions that lead to me being pregnant I would, but now you just have to deal with it, one day at a time.

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