Ask Me Help Desk - Dealing with distance, situation, age difference, and her dad.

Look,she's just 13,'n' you are 17,she is too immature for this type of relationship,and others are right you are not listening others,your just telling what you are doing,you should try to honour other people's opinions.I'll be straight,you can't just choose any girl on the INTERNET to havesome relationship with,personally I wouldn't do that,she's just 13,she hasn't seen the world.and about her father,he has full rights on her daughter,you are just being childish,I would say to leave this girl and seek a new girl of your age,just try to think about all this! you have to choose what's best for you.. I hope this helps you a bit:)

Firstly you don't want to be getting on the wrong side of her father. He is her dad and has a legal duty to protect her. You need to understand that her being 13 is going to be an issue. If my daughter at that age wanted to date someone older I weiould have a serious issue with it. Its great you are not considering a sexual relationship at this stage but even on a mental level there is going to be a difference there. My partner is 7 years older than me, but we are both older. But it does freak him out a little whern I point out that when he was 18 and getting up to god knows what, I was still a little girl! Anyway, if you want a relaitonship with this girl you need to get on the right side of her dad. Ask him to meet you, show him your intentions are good and you are not wanting to rush into anything with his daughter.
Also, you need to make sure this girl is not going to use you as an emotiional crutch. Being the child of an alcoholic is not nice and can lead to all sorts of emotional problems later on, but you don't want to end up being her counsellor. If she needs that sort of help she needs to get it from a professional. Certainly be her friend, but make sure she doesn't get to depend on you too much.
I don't think she is manipulating you, she s just a kid, she obviously worries about you abandoning her and all that because her mind is that of a 13 year old girl, not a 17 year old, her emotional state is not that developed. She is early pubescent, however mature her outlook seems, you have to remember she is 13 and will act her age in that way.

Yes... all right, thank you all, I appreciate it... I'm going to attempt to straighten this all out, and I'll try to get back on here to let anyone who gives a rip know about the outcome...

An update... we talked about it... and we're going to take things REALLY slow, and such... also, I'm going to talk to her dad about it all, and she says she talked to him and he wants to meet me, and seems OK with everything EVEN THE AGE DIFFERENCE, thogh he's a little weary, botu as much as I was... other than the distance, that is... and, nothing is going to really happen, for a long, long time. And not without her fathers consent. By the way, she says her dad and I would get allong great... either way, that's a LONG ways off, and still barely anythign allong those lines... we're going to wait until 4 years won't be as big of a gap. This is the update so far, at least...

L-001-06-H disagrees: "legality has NOTHING to do with is, because sex has NOTHIGN to do with it."

Apparently you are just as immature and naïve as she is. One mistake like sneaking off with a 13 year old and you may not even have to touch her to land yourself behind bars. Why ask for advice you have no intention of taking? Did you really think any one was going to say, "Yeah man go for it!"?

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Originally Posted by stonewilder

L-001-06-H disagrees: "legality has NOTHING to do with is, because sex has NOTHIGN to do with it."

Apparently you are just as immature and naive as she is. One mistake like sneaking off with a 13 year old and you may not even have to touch her to land yourself behind bars. Why ask for advice you have no intention of taking? Did you really think any one was going to say, "Yeah man go for it!"?

If you would actually pay attention, I said that it's prety much not going to happen for a couple of years, once time passes, and she's older and knows more about life, then mabe she and I might end up together. She hates the idea, but I made it clear, that this was way too early. Another thing, even THEN, in the FUTURE I would be (in that situation) getting to now her dad better before going anyhwhere with her. So, I DID take advice, I DID learn a few things, and I DID prety much resolve the issue, so please, quit repeating the same old thing and actually pay attention to what's happening if you're going to criticise.

A side note, thanks to everyone, even you stonewilder for your opinions and advice. The human mind is Weird... but thanks for helping me sort it out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-001-06-H

if you would actually pay attention, i said that it's prety much not gonna happen for a couple of years, once time passes, and she's older and knows more about life, then mabe she and i might end up together. she hates the idea, but i made it clear, that this was way too early. another thing, even THEN, in the FUTURE i would be (in that situation) getting to now her dad better before going anyhwhere with her. so, i DID take advice, i DID learn a few things, and i DID prety much resolve the issue, so please, quit repeating the same old thing and actually pay attention to what's happening if you're going to criticise.

a side note, thanks to everyone, even you stonewilder for your opinions and advice. the human mind is WIERD..... but thanks for helping me sort it out.

Excuse me but your up date wasn't there at the time I posted my last statement.

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Originally Posted by stonewilder

Excuse me but your up date wasn't there at the time I posted my last statement.

Then how is my 'update' on here before your post?

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-001-06-H

then how is my 'update' on here before your post?

I won't know, but it wasn't there when I was writing it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stonewilder

I won't know but it is.

all right... all right... either way, you're right. It is, so it is. ^_^

anyway, thanks again for the advice...