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Originally Posted by beth911

I need alot of help with everything thats goin on. Theirs alot and its so long of a story that i dont even know where to begin. We have been together for almost 2 years. I wont say the whole story because its way too long but i will tell you bits and peices. Right now, he thinks i want his friend and i dont. so hes kida ignoring me. I only can talk to him at school and thats it. He wrote a note saying that he feels bad about leaving me but he doesnt wanna be hurt anymore. Their is nothing that anyone can say or do to get me to change my mind.... i already know that no matter what and even if i want to i will not give up on trying to keep us together. Even if I Want to give up on it i wont. I just need some help on trying to get him to understand that i really do love him and i dont want anyone else and i dont want him to be hurt but i wanna stay with him forever. I want him to know that I want things between us to be better than they ever were before and us to try to have fun together and get along better and not be misserable together because we both do love each other and we both dont like hurting each other and going throgh this but some how this is how it is............ i tried writing all this to him in a note but he said that one of his friends took it from him and that he never got it back. I told him to try to call me if he can and he said he would but he never did, then again he really isnt aloud to so maybe thats why..... I tried giving him another note and he said "i'l just lose it" so i ended up keeping it and he never read it. I told him to call me then and that was yesterday. So far he hasnt called. he said he would try though. And when i try to talk to him, he acts like he doesnt know me. I think that since he hasnt read that note he may still think that i want his friend and not him so he may be confused as to why i am talking to him. The day before yesterday, i told him in person that i want him and everything, then we kinda talked for like 10 seconds but then later i went back up to him and he just seemed mad again. This was right before we got out of school that day and then he just kinda walked away from me. The only time he talks to me is when i go up to him and he doesnt really say anything. But he sits next to me in 2 classes and in the 2nd one that we have together, he kept looking at me like he was trying to get my attention and then i kinda looked at him and then looked away and he just said "dont look at me like that"
But i dont know what to do.,. I mean from what i said, do you think if i wait, he will seee im not even talking to his friend and start to come back to me? Should i keep trying to talk or wait a little while before i say more to him? whats the best way to get him to come to me?
And he thinks i want his friend because of something that happened a few weeks ago.... He said he was talking to anoither girl and was going to leave me for her so i lied and said i wanted his friend and then he said he was just joking about her then he said it wasnt a lie and i dont know what to believe their becuase he makes things up sometimes to try to make me mad or see what i would do . but then i noticed him ignoring me so i told him that if he didnt want me to give to his friend because i was mad about eveything he told me about that other girl and when all thart was going on he said he didnt want me anymore so he was going to give to his friend. That all made me mad when i was only thinking about it so i said that to him but only becayse of everything he said to me.


I may have givin u somewhat the wrong idea or not enough info on this because its such along story but i tried to make it short.
but basiccaly i wanna know how i can get him to talk to me

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Do u think he love u

Do u think he love u

Wondergirl, I quit caring about everything and look at things differently now. My gpa is like 1.3.
I got my report card yesterday and I had the following grades:
Integrated Chem/phys. D-
Newsletter (class impossible to fail. We do nothing in) A
Gym D-
Emglish D
Algebra F


I don't care one bit. I'm about to walk out of the school sometime. I just think I should have a choice to be there. It's my life. I'm being forced to go to a place, and if I don't follow the rules they try to do whatever they do... NO. If I have no choice but to go there, they need to follow my rules.

I don't even want to get into thinking about that whole thing because it upsets me ALOT"


Anyway, as far as eating goes... I'm gaining a lot of weight. Iv'e been eating a lot lately. Which I guess is good because I can't eat much when I'm really sad. And I would be really sad but I just can't feel anything. Even being tired. Its weird. I never feel tired. The only way I know I am is because I fall asleep oughta no where.

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Originally Posted by loveme1

question to u honestly do u think he really love u

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I don't know
I can't believe anything from him.\
He's nothing but jokes and lies.
He hides everything about who he is.

:) do u really want to talk about it

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Originally Posted by beth911
I don't think I really care much anymore about him. After what all he's put me through, it's so different. I mean I just wish I did care like I used to.
Do you think after this he may change, and I'll stilll love him?
Because right now, It's hard to love him after what all he's done to me and I just look at him differently now

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Originally Posted by Clough
Well, you could still love him. That doesn't mean that you have to like him. I have said it before, I have dated quite a number of people in the past. There are those with whom I am still in love. I am sure that there are some of them that still love me. But, for various reasons, we went our separate ways and found others with whom we fell in love.

It's okay for things to be that way. That's the way that life is for many people a lot of the times.

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I guess that my post above got ignored, as have so many others that have been ignored by you beth911. I would appreciate a response.

I just read this whole teen drama saga and my eyes hurt, beth you need a hobby, I have been you many years ago and you have to move on, for our sake.

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Originally Posted by sd1025

i just read this whole teen drama saga and my eyes hurt, beth you need a hobby, i have been you many years ago and you have to move on, for our sake.

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I wholeheartedly agree with you! But, my fear and thought is that it will just keep going on and on...

Many people have tried. It doesn't seem to matter what anyone says to her here on this site concerning the situation. She has her own agenda that she wants to keep, no matter what someone else says.

She is obsessed and should be seeking out the help of a professional.

She does have talents that she could be developing and using for her own future, but she doesn't seem to care about them. Only, about her obsession which is most unhealthy for her.

Time to move on...

However, I'm sure that it will be only a short time before our comments here are ignored and she will move on to the same type of questions that she has now been asking for a number of months in order to feed her obsession.

It's easy to predict the future for beth911 because she does not show any desire to change anything about herself.

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Originally Posted by Clough

It's easy to predict the future for beth911 because she does not show any desire to change anything about herself.

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Actually, what you read here is only the tip of the iceberg. Beth has moved forward in several ways. Above all, AskMeHelpDesk has given her a place to vent. I thank all those who have listened and responded to her.

Wondergirl, will he ever talk to me though?
And I'm pretty sure it was a lie about dropping out because other wise why would he even be trying at school still?

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Originally Posted by Clough

I guess that my post above got ignored, as have so many others that have been ignored by you beth911. I would appreciate a response.

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What is their to say? Other than, in my opinion and the way I look at things, when you really love someone, NOTHING can get in the way of that and you try all you can to have them and to make them happy. That's about the best I can ecplain it.

Just continue to do what I suggested you do.

And I think I like Brandon more. I know it sounds crazy but he's almost just like J, only a lot nicer. But I know I could never really be with him, and I still couldn't give up on J. Do you think in the end of all this mess, J will be a lot better? And be there for me and love and care about me and only me?

The problem is brandon is probobly only noce now if he seems so much like j, the first few boyfriends always seem to end up the same, sometimes the only way to have a good boyfriend is to find the opposite of what you used to , when I did that I ended up married to a great guy, who is a thousand times better then all the guys I had gone out with who were all basically the same.

This is off topic but o well... like that's never happened before. Anyway, I hope someone reads this in time. I can't go to school. I just can't. I'll injure myself and end up in the hospital if I have to. Anythings better than that place. I can't do it. I'mnot like other kids. And I want to die if it means getting out of school.
My parents won't homeschool me because my dad always ahs to try to to make my life too hard on me. TO the point I can't take it and just shoot myself. My parents always argue and I hope really soon they can get a divorce and I can live with my mom and not have to put up with my dad. She doesn't care if I'm homeschooled. And she doesn't care if I get any piercings or tattoo's. Or what I do, really.
I just can't go to school anymore. Its just that feeling of people looking at you weird and noticing things about you. Looking bad. Looking stupid. All that. And I over worry about what I'm going to wear and all that and then I end up wearing the SAME thing EVERYDAY.

Every morning I end up almost punching my dad. And if I had a gun around me I would shoot him.
Just because he won't let me stay home and yells at me for it... I can't think of it. I nmeed to go take my anger out on something now.

OMG are you serious. I got to go and I don tknow what to do. I'll try getting eletricuted. I'll let you know how it goes.

I can't do it. I just can't do it.

He called me and I wasn't home. He wasn't at school today. And I can't call him back.
I was getting my hair done when he called. It looks so awesome. Its like a dark reddish color now. Lol

I am putting my money on B now.

And your hair sounds awesome! You rock, girl!

What do u mean, and what about J?

Please please please please please... what's going to happen?

Let me help you a little here, first lets make this readable :). All I can say Beth is we all have been there before, just another definition of growing pains. You have allot of "I wants" in your post. I know you feel you can't deal being without this boy but you can. Many relationships are filled with mind games and will ultimately be unsuccessful, trust me. Let it go, be kind and respectful of his wishes. If you feel he doesn't undertand that you don't want to be with his friend he will get that message when you are not. Time to move on, this won't be your first or last letdown. If you pursue as you have he will lose all respect for you, if he has not already. If you force him to settle for you, the mind games and distrust will continue to happen. Good luck kid!

PS: Concentrate on your studies, and yourself for now….the results will be much more rewarding.


I need much help with everything that is going on. There is a long a story and I don't even know where to begin. We have been together for almost 2 years. I won't tell the whole story because of its length but I will tell you bits and pieces. Right now, he thinks I want his friend and I really don't. He is kind of ignoring me and I only can talk to him at school. He wrote a note saying that he feels bad about leaving me and doesn't want to be hurt anymore.

There is nothing that anyone can say or do to get me to change my mind... I already know that no matter what, even if I want to I will not give up on trying to keep us together. Even if I want to give up on it I won't! I just need some help on trying to get him to understand that I really do love him and don't want anyone else. I don't want him to be hurt and want to be with him forever. I want him to know that things between us can be better than they ever were. We can try to have fun together while getting along without being miserable plus we both love each other and don't like hurting one another.

I tried writing all this to him in a note but he said that one of his friends took it from him and that he never gave it back. I told him to try and call me if he can but he never did, then again he really isn't aloud to so maybe that is the reason. I tried giving him another note and he said "I'll just lose it" so he never read it. I told him to call me yesterday and so far he hasn't called even though he said he would try. When I try to talk to him, he acts like he doesn't know me; I think that since he hasn't read the note he may still think that I want his friend. The day before yesterday I told him in person that I want to be with him, and then we kind of talked for about 10 seconds. Later I went back up to him and he just seemed mad again. This was right before we got out of school that day and then he just kind of walked away from me. He sits next to me in 2 classes and in the 2nd one he kept looking at me like he was trying to get my attention but when I looked at him he would look away. He did say "don't look at me like that".

I don't know what to do, should I wait, and will he see I am not even talking to his friend then start to come back to me? Should I keep trying to talk to him? What's the best way to get him to come to me? He may think I want his friend or something because of what was said a few weeks ago. He told me that he was talking to another girl and was going to leave me for her so I lied and said I wanted his friend. He then said he was just joking about her but it wasn't a lie about talking to the other girl. I just don't know what to believe because he makes things up sometimes trying to make me mad or see how I would react. Now he is ignoring me so I told him the truth and the reason I said these things because I was angry about that other girl.


I may have given you somewhat the wrong idea or not enough info on this problem due to lack of detail and such along story but I tried. Basically I want to know how I can get him to talk to me again.

He keeps calling me a whore and a skank and stuff now.
I don't get why.
Because he thinks I listen to rap. That's no reason and I don't even listen to rap

Tell him that, if he can't be respectful to you, then you don't want to talk with him. Set boundaries.

Ask him questions about his going into the military. Where will he do boot camp? What about training school after boot?

Wondergirl I need you to talk on mesanfer

OK

J and I got in a big argument yesterday. And I was finally ready to move on and forget about him. I finally got the strength to do it. I told him I didn't even want to talk to him because we would just end up getting back together and I don't want that to happen. He said the same thing but some how this time, he got us to continue to talk to each other. But I'm not so sure I want to get back into this. But I can't leave him while we are still talking. I'm only OK with leaving him when he's treating me like that

Things have gotten like a million times better than what they used to be. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 1/2 years. But he just doesn't like to kiss and hold hands and stuff and that is a big problem for me. He also tries to control me too much. I guess I kind of do the same to him but not as bad and he always has some kind of reason for it all. I just want to know how to change it. Like its OK for him to have friends but I can't have friends because... whatever the reason. And he thinks he's being fair and really he's not. Honestly, I don't want friends anyway. But knowing that if I did have them, he would get all mad about it just really makes me feel bad. But all I have is him. I could understand if he didn't want me to have friends that are guys. But when he doesn't even let me have female friends, that's pretty bad. According to him just about every female is a slut and if I hang out with them then I will become one and end up cheating on him but all he does with his friends is talk about cars and stuff so its OK for him to have them. I know his friends do drugs. How do I know they won't get him to do it? He says he can say no and I cant. But he's said before that they got him to do stuff like that. And if I bring that up all I hear is "thats not as bad as some of the stuff youve done"
And for the holding hands and stuff... he always says that he wants to and we can from now on, then later he changes his mind and says that he only said that because... whatever... he didn't want to hurt my feelings, or he was just lying. etc.
Those are I guess the main problems. And I really think it can be fixed some how. I know its not worth giving up on. So what is it you think I need to do? The only good thing is that if it weren't for him, I would probably be on drugs right now. But he tries to control me, like I said, and he won't let me do those things so I don't do them.
ANd its like he's afraid to say nice things to me sometimes. He won't admit he thinks I'm hot or anything.

He doesn't like to kiss you, hold hands, or compliment you. Sounds like he might love you but isn't IN LOVE with you. I know because my ex wouldn't do those things very much (well kissing was OK but no real public displays of affection). She was jealous of my friends but that was just pissing on territory. On my birtday, I asked her what she liked about me and the first thing she said was "you like to go out to dinner to nice restaurants like I do". Hahaahahaah

I thought things were getting better.. now its like they aren't.

What should you do? For starters dump him on his A$$. Secondly, grow yourself a backbone and get back your dignity and self-respect, and find a real man who will tell you that he loves, honours, and cherishes you. If he doesn't respect you now, he never will.

Let me see. He won't LET you have friends, but HE can have all he wants. Most women are SLUTS. He won't LET you hold his hand or kiss him. His friends do drugs and HE can say no, but he doesn't believe YOU can. He said he was JUST LYING etc. HE won't LET ME do things so I don't do them...

Gee... sign me up for that!

Wondergirl, if you get this... I couldn't send to your inbox...
He says its for some tests or something. But for a while, when everything was going good.. he kept saying that he loves me... Now its like before, he won't even say it back. And if he did say it he would say it like he don't mean it. And when I talk to him all he says is "oh" and "i see" then he says he's just short on words. But everythings like it was and I can't stand it.

I cleaned out my mailbox. Just live your life. Remember when you mostly ignored him? He came around. Do that again.

I'll try. What if that doesn't work?

Don't "try" -- DO IT!!

It will work.

I'm worried about him leaving. HE SAYS he's leaving this summer. But he always makes these things up but something tells me he might not be making it up.

And he said "why would i want to stay? i can't get a job without a car, and i can't get a car without a job"
And he says its his only choice. Then he said "i have to fight just to eat, let alone worry about a car"

And now my biggest problems are that people keep telling me that if he goes in the army he's going to forget about me and find another girl while he's there.
People think he's cheating on me. And all this stuff.
And he's a sociopath so I don't know how to put up with that.
Wondergirl, I've told you the most about this. And you're the only person that hasn't given up on me. Thanks. What do you think? Do you think he would do that?