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So I'm 14 and a half. My mum doesn't trust me anymore. She's actually against the idea of having a boy friend and I love him so much that we can't break up.
She follows me sometimes when I hang out which is annoying, she thinks that I've broken up with him since she knew ,but we've been 7 months together after that. And I'm too in love to let go. I don't know what to do actually. But I feel so terrible and cunning all the time.
If the boyfriend loves you that much he will step back and be just friends and not go beyond your moms boundary. Like if she says talk at school, walk you straight home and he can visit an hour one evening a week supervised then he/you should not go beyond that.
She doesn't know we're still communicating ,and we're not in the same school anymoree.
How do you expect to regain her trust when you are sneaking around behind her back.
At 14 you just think you are in love. I'm sure it feels real to you but it is unlikely. If you want to ever be with him again, you tell him you need to stop sneaking around and show your mother that you are obeying her. You have to ask him to wait for you.
You need to talk to your mum about why she wanted you to break up and how you can show her that he is worthy of dating you.
How can you ask about regaining her trust if you are still going to be non trustable?Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
Sneaking, lying but trust me mom!
Regaining trust is wiping the slate clean of what made the person not trust you and not doing any of those behaviors again.
Ok so what shall I doQuote:
Originally Posted by N0help4u
That's a good question for you to answer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
Its because she doesn't agree that I datee. So in both cases ill be losing him like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
You'd rather have him or your mom's trust?Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
Yes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
What I said in my first reply - only as much contact as permissible by your momQuote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
She doesn't know we're contacting..Quote:
Originally Posted by N0help4u
And if she found out?Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
That's what I'm worried about,but I doubt she'll do.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Oh, she will, she will.Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
I told you what to do. Your mom WILL find out and you will lose him anyway. My way you have a chance of getting back with him in the future. If you really love each other he will wait.
And if u were in my shoe?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
You just don't get it. Then answer this what makes you think you have to regain her trust? Her not letting you have this boyfriend?
I'd listen to what ScottGem says.Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
She hasn't for 7 months! AndQuote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
In those years I'm supposed to be not talking to him or what
So what is the contact you do have with him? Phone and internet or sneaking to see him?
And how much if any contact does your mom allow?
No..Quote:
Originally Posted by N0help4u
Yea.. she doesn't allow any after she knew we were dating that's why I isn't telling her that we contact but we actually do nth wrong expect lyin on herQuote:
Originally Posted by N0help4u
And yes this causes me depression cause I'm not used to lying at her and trying to die after being hopeless in finding a way to work it out
And how did you "try to die"?Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
By cutting wrists but this always fails with me
And that is nice for your boyfriend in what way? It sounds like you don't respect him much either.Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
You regain your mother's trust by obeying her, proving to her that you can be trusted.
She does not trust you because you're a liar and a sneak. Change your ways.
You will never regain your mother's trust by going behind her back and talking to the boy that she forbid you to have a relationship. Actually, by doing what you are doing you will lose more trust when she finds out. And she WILL find out.
When she finds out, you will lose your phone and internet access and you will have NO way to communicate with him at all.
And if u were in my shoe ,what would u do to balance it
I would do what my mother tells me to do.
You can't balance it. If you want your mother's trust, you stop your very bad behaviors (including cutting your wrists) and obey her (stop contacting this boy).Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
Why does she want you to stop contacting him or being with him?
She doesn't think I shall date now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
And you shouldn't. You cannot be trusted.Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
To stop contacting him would cause me depression forever
She's correct. You are too young and immature to date. Sneaking around, lying, and "trying to die" show you are immature. Obey your mother.Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
FineQuote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
You cannot balance trust with disobedience. It is either one or the other. If you want to regain her trust, you must stop sneaking around and lying.Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
All of this is because she wanted to split us apart anyway
Only if you choose to be depressed. You can choose otherwise, you know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Someonee
Losing someone who was a big part of your life isn't that easyQuote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
You need to talk to your mom and tell her you are depressed. You need to stop cutting your wrists. You need to realize that it is normal to go through these kinds of things as you grow emotionally. Everybody goes through break ups and losing loved ones for whatever reasons its life. So many ex cutters have scars that will remind them forever and wish they had never done it.
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