Ask Me Help Desk - How to get a boyfriend when I'm 13

How to get a boyfriend when I'm 13

I'm 13 and I want a boyfriend because I want to kiss him in the rain and tell him everything but when I'm with the lads I like the think of me as "one of the guys" so I don't know how to get a boyfriend.

First, will your parents permit you to have a boyfriend? You need to talk to your parents about when you can start with boys.

Second. Try not to grow up so fast. You are being influenced by the media who make it seem that romance is so great. A romantic relationship is nice, but you really need to be more mature to understand and appreciate it.

You are still a child, enjoy it.

My parents are fine with it

I have to grow up I don't have time to be a kid in my family

The really, really smart thing to do right now until these lads mature a bit more (maybe get to be 16 or 17 or even older--and you grow up more too) is to be friends with them. Find out what they like to eat and what sports they like and what about cars and girls too. Be sure you can throw a ball the right way (not "like a girl") and be able to kick a soccer ball around in a good way for your team and know how to change the oil in a car and how to take apart a carburetor. Learn how to cook and bake things that boys like to eat--pizza and brownies and cookies and BBQ. Ask your mates to teach you stuff. They will be happy to do it, and it will make them feel important.

Then, by the time you are old enough to date and you have your parents' blessing for it, you will be in such a good situation with everything you know about how to connect with and relate to boys. That's what I did when I was your age, and once I started to date, I never had any problems getting a date or having boyfriends. The boys loved me because they knew I knew them inside and out, so they were very comfortable with me.

Sssssh, this is our secret. Don't tell your mates what I said.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The really, really smart thing to do right now until these lads mature a bit more (maybe get to be 16 or 17 or even older--and you grow up more too) is to be friends with them. Find out what they like to eat and what sports they like and what about cars and girls too. Be sure you can throw a ball the right way (not "like a girl") and be able to kick a soccer ball around in a good way for your team and know how to change the oil in a car and how to take apart a carburetor. Learn how to cook and bake things that boys like to eat--pizza and brownies and cookies and BBQ. Ask your mates to teach you stuff. They will be happy to do it, and it will make them feel important.

Then, by the time you are old enough to date and you have your parents' blessing for it, you will be in such a good situation with everything you know about how to connect with and relate to boys. That's what I did when I was your age, and once I started to date, I never had any problems getting a date or having boyfriends. The boys loved me because they knew I knew them inside and out, so they were very comfortable with me.

Sssssh, this is our secret. Don't tell your mates what I said.

Thanks for your advice but I know everything about these lads and like I have shifted them but they still don't like me in the way I like them

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

Thanks for your advice but I know everything about these lads and like I have shifted them but they still don't like me in the way I like them

You missed my point. You have these lads as your trainers. You won't necessarily date them later. And they are very immature right now and don't want to get into emotional stuff. Girls mature faster than boys, and they don't catch up with girls until the 20s.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You missed my point. You have these lads as your trainers. You won't necessarily date them later. And they are very immature right now and don't want to get into emotional stuff. Girls mature faster than boys, and they don't catch up with girls until the 20s.

OK but do you have any advice on how to get a boyfriend when I'm 13 because I still want one
I was recently dumped and I'm ready for a new boyfriend

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

I have to grow up I don't have time to be a kid in my family

I haven't a clue what that means. But it makes me sad for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

ok but do u have any advice on how to get a boyfriend when I'm 13 coz I still want one
I was recently dumped and I'm ready for a new boyfriend

That is what is going to happen at your age--boyfriend after boyfriend will dump you because guys your age don't know how to be a good boyfriend. There's not much chance of having a steady boyfriend until you are older, maybe in your late teens.

Why do you want a boyfriend now and get dumped all the time?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

That is what is going to happen at your age--boyfriend after boyfriend will dump you because guys your age don't know how to be a good boyfriend. There's not much chance of having a steady boyfriend until you are older, maybe in your late teens.

Why do you want a boyfriend now and get dumped all the time?

Well I don't date lads my age and I don't always get dumped

So you have a steady boyfriend now?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I haven't a clue what that means. But it makes me sad for you.

It means I have other siblings so I have to be like a mother to them you know like I feed them I clean them I clean up after them I buy them clothes etc...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So you have a steady boyfriend now?

No I was dating a dude for like 2 months but then he decided we were to different so he recently dumped me

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

It means I have other siblings so I have to be like a mother to them ya know like I feed them I clean them I clean up after them I buy them clothes etc...

Buy them clothes? You drive and have money? You're not in school?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

well I don't date lads my age and I don't always get dumped

If you don't always get dumped then you're not single now.

How did you meet your last boyfriend?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

It means I have other siblings so I have to be like a mother to them ya know like I feed them I clean them I clean up after them I buy them clothes etc...

That doesn't mean you have to rush growing up in other areas. In fact it means you should embrace your childhood even more where you can.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

No I was dating a dude for like 2 months but then he decided we were to different so he recently dumped me

You weren't "dumped". This is the thing about relationships at your age. They are short termed and ephemeral. They aren't real.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Buy them clothes? You drive and have money? You're not in school?

Ha I don't drive... I have a summer job and yea I'm in school but my mam has enough things to worry about than buying clothes for my little siblings so I do it for her

What kind of summer job?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

If you don't always get dumped then you're not single now.

How did you meet your last boyfriend?

I was at the lake and he saw me so he came up and started to talk to me

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What kind of summer job?

I help out at the vet and I walk dogs and I work at the yard (car yard)

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

That doesn't mean you have to rush growing up in other areas. In fact it means you should embrace your childhood even more where you can.

You weren't "dumped". This is the thing about relationships at your age. They are short termed and ephemeral. They aren't real.

Ok so what would you call it

There was never a real relationship in the first place.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

There was never a real relationship in the first place.

So him asking me out making me feel special taking me to dinners none if that was real

It wasn't a relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

So him asking me out making me feel special taking me to dinners none if that was real

At 13 there's no such thing as a romantic relationship. At least there shouldn't be.

I don't understand why you need a boyfriend so much. What is lacking in your life that you have such a burning need to be with someone? Can't you just be on your own for a while, enjoy life, enjoy being a teen?

There are only a few things you absolutely need in life. Air, water, food, a roof over your head, and enough money to provide for those things. But no one "needs" a boyfriend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

At 13 there's no such thing as a romantic relationship. At least there shouldn't be.

I don't understand why you need a boyfriend so much. What is lacking in your life that you have such a burning need to be with someone? Can't you just be on your own for a while, enjoy life, enjoy being a teen?

There are only a few things you absolutely need in life. Air, water, food, a roof over your head, and enough money to provide for those things. But no one "needs" a boyfriend.

Happiness is lacking in my life and I never said I need a boyfriend I said I want one you know to kiss in d rain and tell him everything

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

Happiness is lacking in my life and I never said I need a boyfriend I said I want one ya know to kiss in d rain and tell him everything

Boys don't like to kiss in the rain and listen to girls tell them everything. You need to learn what boys like.

A boyfriend won't fill that emotional hole you have.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

Happiness is lacking in my life and I never said I need a boyfriend I said I want one ya know to kiss in d rain and tell him everything

Wow, that's quite the specific wish list. I've been with my husband since I was 19, over half my life. Not once do I remember kissing in the rain. It certainly wasn't the reason I dated him, or married him.

If there is something lacking in your life, a boyfriend won't fill that void.

You can't always get what you want, you shouldn't always get what you want.

I don't think you're ready to date, just because of that one statement "I want one ya know to kiss in d rain and tell him everything". That to me is a very immature reason to want a boyfriend.

Why not wait until you actually meet someone interesting?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Wow, that's quite the specific wish list. I've been with my husband since I was 19, over half my life. Not once do I remember kissing in the rain. It certainly wasn't the reason I dated him, or married him.

If there is something lacking in your life, a boyfriend won't fill that void.

You can't always get what you want, you shouldn't always get what you want.

I don't think you're ready to date, just because of that one statement "I want one ya know to kiss in d rain and tell him everything". That to me is a very immature reason to want a boyfriend.

Why not wait until you actually meet someone interesting?

Eh yea ino its not going to fill it and I have met someone interesting and smart and funny and caring but we tried to go out and it only lasted a year because he moved and it wasn't meant to be but I still reli lyk him

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Boys don't like to kiss in the rain and listen to girls tell them everything. You need to learn what boys like.

A boyfriend won't fill that emotional hole you have.

Ha so I saw it in a movie and now that's my big dream to kiss a lad in d rain ha and I'm not stupid ino he won't fill that emotional hole on my life ha

You dated, one or both of you decided its wasn't for the long term so you stopped. You will go though this many more times, until you meet someone where it will feel real.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

Ha so I saw it in a movie and now that's my big dream to kiss a lad in d rain ha and I'm not stupid ino he won't fill that emotional hole on my life ha

Yup. I figured you saw it in a movie. Wrong place to find out about life and love. Movies are fantasies, not real life. Like I said, no lad will kiss you in the rain. Lads don't like to get wet and will think you are going bonkers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

Ha so I saw it in a movie

Exactly you saw it in a movie, it looked romantic, but its not REAL!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Yup. I figured you saw it in a movie. Wrong place to find out about life and love. Movies are fantasies, not real life. Like I said, no lad will kiss you in the rain. Lads don't like to get wet and will think you are going bonkers.

But I've already done it

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Exactly you saw it in a movie, it looked romantic, but its not REAL!

How old are you

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You dated, one or both of you decided its wasn't for the long term so you stopped. You will go though this many more times, until you meet someone where it will feel real.

Both

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubblegumxox

Eh yea ino its not goin to fill it and I have met some1 interesting and smart and funny and caring but we tried to go out and it only lasted a year coz he moved and it wasn't ment to be but I still reli lyk him

So you dated a guy for a year, how long ago was that?
I think you are too young to date. You are lacking something in your life and looking for someone to fill it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You are lacking something in your life and looking for someone to fill it.

Check her other threads. Here's one:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...ud-689185.html

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Check her other threads. Here's one:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...ud-689185.html

Yep, this is a sad situation.

Hun take your time, having a boyfriend is the last thing you need in your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Yep, this is a sad situation.

Hun take your time, having a boyfriend is the last thing you need in your life.

How is it a sad situation