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-   -   How do I tell my parents (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=565101)

  • Mar 25, 2011, 12:26 AM
    qwerty15
    How do I tell my parents
    Hi I'm 15 and I need some advise on how to tell my parents something's. I messed up really bad I got involved with some people who I though were my friends but now I'm not sure they really are. I kove my parents but I'm scared to tell them they will be really disappointed,I don't want them to think badly of me but I need help and I don't know who else to turn to except my parents I've been using drugs and I feel as if its taking over my life I've been doing some really stupid things to get money now I'm scared of what's going to happen but I can't seem to stop because I need to get money. I just don't know how to speak to them about it I thought about it lots and I don't know how I can tell them I know I should just tell them but when I try to talk to them I just know its going to be bad
  • Mar 25, 2011, 12:47 AM
    amicon

    Drugs do that,they take over your life and you lose yourselves.

    I think you tell your parents asap,they love you and will help you get over your addiction-if you let them.
  • Mar 25, 2011, 01:02 AM
    qwerty15
    I just don't know how to tell them, what to say, I can't imagine just saying mum dad I can't stop using drugs it just doesn't sound right. I don't know how to tell them
  • Mar 25, 2011, 01:05 AM
    J_9

    How about...

    "Mom, Dad, I have a problem. I need your help."
  • Mar 25, 2011, 01:45 AM
    qwerty15
    It sounds so simple but its not that easy I've tried to tell them but I know its going to be bad sometime I think maybe I don't want to tell them because it will make them mad at me and upset, or maybe I'm just making excuses to keep on doing what I am I don't know my head is so messed up. I think I just don't really want them to think of me in a bad way, but I can't keep on doing this I know its going to end up bad if I do. Maybe I should just go see a doctor instead of parents
  • Mar 25, 2011, 02:40 AM
    amicon

    What options do you have at school?
    Yes,a doctor or a counsellor-but you really need to get some help,right now.
    Take care.
  • Mar 25, 2011, 03:09 AM
    adviceishere

    Either tell them now or let this spiral more out of control and let them find out for themselves, when there's a point of no return! Of course they will be upset but what parent wouldn't! All they will want to do is help you and protect you from more harm, they will be shocked, or maybe they've been suspecting something all along, but you will get a hell of a lot more respect if you tell them yourself now before its too late, and absolute hats off to you for being brave and seeing and admiting that you need help! This is an amazing step in the right direction and it's the beginning of the road to recovery.
  • Mar 25, 2011, 03:43 AM
    qwerty15
    I want to tell them I'm just worried my dads been really sick, he had a heart attack two moths ago, I don't know if I tell them he will get worse and I know they will be upset if I tell them what I've been doing probably get really angry to. I feel really bad I know they exspect more from me I don't think they have any idea what I've been doing.This is just so unbeleivably hard maybe I can just do this myself if I stay away from my friends then I won't be able to get the stuff. I feel so ashamed of the things I've done I just feel like I should tell someone and maybe my parents aren't the best people. I don't know I fell so confused at the moment, I want them to help me but I don't want to hurt them
  • Mar 25, 2011, 04:07 AM
    amicon

    All your feelings are normal,shame,confusion etc-but admitting that you have a problem is the first step to recovery,please take the second step by telling someone close to you.

    Tell your mum first if you think your dad's still fragile.

    Imagine the relief you will feel once you have shared your burden.
  • Mar 25, 2011, 05:17 AM
    qwerty15
    I pretty much lost all my real friends when I started hanging out with these people I thought were my friends so I don't really have anyone left I thought about talking to the counselor at school but I don't really want to tell them that I slept with my dealer for drugs I mean I know its suppose to confidential but they will still look at me like I'm a you know, and there probably right. I can't even imagine telling my mum the things I've done I really need to do this but I don't think my parents are going to be able to deal with this I think if I go see my doctor maybe he could give me some advise
  • Mar 25, 2011, 06:05 AM
    adviceishere

    Once you tell someone that's the main thing! Tell your doctor, and no one would think badly of you for sleeping with your dealer, when I just read that you slept with him for drugs the first thing I said to myself was "this is serious and she really needs help" I didn't think badly of you I promise and I'm a complete stranger. Please tell your doctor! I wish you all the strength in the world.
  • Mar 25, 2011, 06:38 AM
    amicon

    I agree with advice,and I don't think badly of you either.

    Please honour yourself and make an appointment with your doctor and get the help you deserve.
  • Mar 25, 2011, 06:48 AM
    southamerica

    I absolutely agree with everyone here. I know you're scared of how your parents will react, but like was said they will do everything in their power to protect you and make sure you get the help you deserve.

    Heck, if they ground you, that would be a blessing! It would keep you out of trouble :) I wish you the best of luck and I'm very proud of you for realizing what you need to do. The next step is doing it.
  • Mar 25, 2011, 03:18 PM
    qwerty15
    I made a doctors appointment but I have to wait until next Thursday their always so busy. I think maybe I should just tell my mum. Can I ask you how would you react if it was ypur child telling you, I was just wondering so maybe I'll know how she might react. I don't want to tell her but I don't thjnk I can wait that long for the doctors I can't help it I tried to stop using but I cant.
  • Mar 25, 2011, 03:28 PM
    Wondergirl

    "Mom, I love you and know you love me. I need your help with something very serious."
  • Mar 26, 2011, 12:34 AM
    adviceishere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by qwerty15 View Post
    I made a doctors appointment but i have to wait until next thursday their always so busy. I think maybe i should just tell my mum. Can i ask you how would you react if it was ypur child telling you, i was just wondering so maybe i'll know how she might react. I dont want to tell her but i dont thjnk i can wait that long for the doctors i can't help it i tried to stop using but i cant.

    Just out of curiosity what drug is it that your using? I guess if I was told my daughter was on drugs I'd be distraught, disappointed and most likely in shock for an hour or so before I spring into action
  • Mar 26, 2011, 12:50 AM
    amicon

    I would be sad and upset,there's no denying that.
    Then I would get you the best possible help as quickly as I could.

    Let us know how it goes.
  • Mar 27, 2011, 11:03 PM
    qwerty15
    I've been using cocaine quite a lot. I went to talk to mum about it but she was having a bad day she was quite upset about dad having to have anither operation because he's stint they put in his heart or something is blocked I don't know anyway I didn't think it was the right time to tell her.I don't know if it will ever be a right time to tell her, I think ill just try and work this out on my own.
  • Mar 27, 2011, 11:22 PM
    amicon

    I still say,talk to her,you're going to need help.
    Are you in the UK?
    Does your GP have a drop- in clinic?
    If so go today.

    You can do this,but get help.
  • Mar 27, 2011, 11:47 PM
    adviceishere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by qwerty15 View Post
    ive been using cocaine quite alot. I went to talk to mum about it but she was having a bad day she was quite upset about dad having to have anither operation because hes stint they put in his heart or something is blocked i dont know anyway i didnt think it was the right time to tell her.I dont know if it will ever be a right time to tell her, i think ill just try and work this out on my own.

    Hey there's never a good day to tell someone your on drugs, you can't do it on your own you already said that you couldn't in another post. I don't know what person could do something like that alone, as amicon said, go to your doctors if your not going to tell your folks. But I urge you to tell them!
  • Mar 28, 2011, 01:31 AM
    qwerty15
    So I jiyst came out with it and told my mum she's going ape at the moment I had to go to my room to get aaway from her. Oh my god she's going mental I hope she doesn't tell dad.I suppose I can't blame her for being mad at me but I can't take this I need to get out of here let her calm down I've never heard my mum swear before I thought she would br mad but I ve never seen her so angry.I don't think it was such a good idea telling her
  • Mar 28, 2011, 01:44 AM
    amicon

    It's the shock,I think she'll calm down ,give her time-do you have school today?
    Is there a school nurse you could go and talk to?
  • Mar 28, 2011, 01:50 AM
    qwerty15
    No school has finished for the day she won't even let me out the house I suppose I can understand but I'm tripping out I need to get away from her
  • Mar 28, 2011, 01:50 AM
    adviceishere

    Omg I'm so happy you told her! Don't worry, she will calm down, now you can get the help you need, well done!
  • Mar 28, 2011, 01:54 AM
    amicon

    I think you'd best wait for her to calm down,remember you did the right thing.
  • Mar 28, 2011, 02:18 AM
    qwerty15
    I don't know I think its just worse now she's crying I don't know what to say to her I said I'm sorry but she just keeps on crying I don't know what to do
  • Mar 28, 2011, 02:22 AM
    adviceishere

    Just stay in your room until she is ready to talk, she WILL talk to you, just leave her to let it all out, its best that she's like this now, she's obviously taking it serious, this is all good even though it doesn't seem like it.
  • Mar 28, 2011, 02:25 AM
    amicon

    (can't rep,Z)
    Advice is right,your mum's reaction is normal but let it all sink in and it'll be OK.
    She loves you,and she's your mum.
  • Mar 28, 2011, 07:17 AM
    Reemyz
    Hey

    I understand your problem... Listen you can start this way:

    "Mom, Dad.. I need to tell you guys something important. Please don't be mad, I really need your help......" and then start with how you met those people and how it first started.. I know how you feel.. I'm pretty scared of telling my parents something myslef!

    Good luck ;) <3
  • Mar 28, 2011, 07:28 AM
    adviceishere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Reemyz View Post
    Hey

    I understand your problem... Listen you can start this way:

    "Mom, Dad.. I need to tell you guys something important. Please don't be mad, I really need your help......" and then start with how you met those people and how it first started.. I know how you feel .. I'm pretty scared of telling my parents something myslef!

    Good luck ;) <3

    If you read the whole thread you would see that the op has told her parents... :rolleyes:
  • Mar 28, 2011, 07:33 AM
    redhed35

    Well done for telling your mom, that took guts, your braver then you thought you were.

    Now your life is going to change, its going to get better, your free.

    Your free from the worry and torment of getting money for drugs and trying to figure all this out.

    Your family is going through a lot of stress, and your mom is trying to keep everything together, this is a shock for her, BUT, I'm betting once the shock has worn off she's going to be your best ally is fighting any addiction.

    As hard as it is to stay where you are, I urge you to stay, answer any questions she has, even though telling the truth may make you feel like crap and not wanting to hurt her, but tell the truth, listen to her, she's needs answers now to help you.

    The truth shall set you free! Take whatever she throws at you if she does, then help her help you.
  • Mar 28, 2011, 08:15 AM
    Reemyz
    Comment on adviceishere's post
    Yeah I noticed after I wrote my answer...
    Anyway it might help someone else :)
  • Mar 28, 2011, 06:37 PM
    qwerty15
    I don't know if I should tell her everything that I did I feel that maybe just her dealing with the drugs is enough I don't want her to totally freak.Im not even allowed to go to school I have to stay in my room until she sorts things out. Im kind of really stressed out I need to be able to get out of here for a bit but she won't let me I can't even get out of my window she locked it and took the key.im so stressed out
  • Mar 28, 2011, 06:46 PM
    Wondergirl

    Are you having any withdrawal problems?

    What had you done to get money? Theft? Prostitution?
  • Mar 28, 2011, 07:08 PM
    qwerty15
    I am just really freaking out being locked in my room I can't take being in here I yelled for mum to let me out but she won't I need to leave.My drug dealer I use to sleep with him for a hit or do other things I was stealing from shops at the beginning but then I didn't have to.God I need to get out of here I'm freaking out how cani get her to let me out?>
  • Mar 28, 2011, 07:10 PM
    J_9

    Why do you need to leave? You came clean to your mother. Give her time to sort this all out.
  • Mar 28, 2011, 07:39 PM
    qwerty15
    I need to get out of this room I can't take it if sh ewould just let me out then id be OK but I can't just sit here in this tiny room anymore I've tried to get her to let me out but she's locked the friging door and I've yelled out to her but she won't answer I'm about to smash the frigging window I need to get out of here
  • Mar 28, 2011, 10:11 PM
    qwerty15
    I can't do this anymore I shouldn't of told her I really need to leave
  • Mar 28, 2011, 11:22 PM
    amicon

    Are these withdrwal symptoms?
    Ask your mother to call the doctor.
  • Mar 28, 2011, 11:54 PM
    qwerty15
    She won't listen to me she said I need to stay in my room until she sorts things out. I can't stay in here its driving me insane I need to get out of this room I tired to tell her I even lost it crying but she won't let me out she said I'm better of in my room for now I friging hate her right now if she doesn't let me out I'm just going to have to break the door or window I'm so frustrated right now I don't have anything left in my room to smash I feel bad but I need to get out of here

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