Ask Me Help Desk - My parents.

My parents.

My parents like never believe me. And honest to god I never did anything to make them fell this way about me, plus trust me if I did know why I wouldn't be looking for an answer. So I just don't understand, if anything out of me and my brother I'm always telling the truth but they think he is the one who always is telling the truth. I think they think that if they think my brother "never" lies that they have to have a "naughty" child who lies. Well I Don't! And personally I'm getting so sick of always being the good child and getting no recognition of it! So if there just going to accuse me of always lying and being "bad" then maybe I just should start doing that? What do you think, how can I make my parents believe me more?

What is it they are this believing you about? What makes you think they are not believing you?

I don't blame your parents for not believing you. I think they're just worried about you, and hoping their choices are right for you. Some parents are just too paranoid about their children, but that's only because they care, don't go hating your parents, because they're only caring.
Plus, if you were more specific about what kinds of things they don't believe about you, it'll help us give you some better advices.

Parents know things their children don't. They understand the ramifications of certain things, kids don't. Teens have a tendency to think parents have no clue, we do, we also see past "today"

So, what is it your parents aren't believing you about?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Parents know things their children don't. They understand the ramifications of certain things, kids don't. Teens have a tendency to think parents have no clue, we do, we also see past "today"

So, what is it your parents aren't believing you about?

Well when ever I go over to this girls house which by the way my parents know very well because she is my best friend, they think that because half the time her mom is never home that we go an just have free will. So when I want to go over there and I tell them what we will be doing and I even tell them her mom or a guardian will be there they don't believe me, my bestfriends mom even calls my mom and talks to her... But that still ain't good enough. But that isn't all they don't believe me about, it's so bad because they can't even believe me when I say our school is having a track meet and I would like to stay, they had to email the coach and ask, I was like are you serious. So they don't believe me about A lot and I mean A lot of things... And I'm just trying to figure our why's

Welcome to my world!
My parents are the same way.
They never let me go out with friends, because they think I'm lying about that, and ill go & meet up with guys & crapp.
But I would never do that!
I'm not a hoe.
But to answer your question..
Some of us are lucky to have parents believe us, and like you & I.. Ours don't.
So its all in the matter of PROVING to them that we're honest, & loyal to them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

welcome to my world!
my parents are the same way.
they never let me go out with friends, becuase they think im lying about that, and ill go & meet up with guys & crapp.
but i would never do that!
im not a hoe.
but to answer your question..
some of us are lucky to have parents believe us, and like you & i.. ours dont.
so its all in the matter of PROVING to them that we're honest, & loyal to them.

It's funny you say that.. ( that we just have to prove ourselves) because it's great and I just love it because every time my mom especially thinks I'm lying I always have a way and do prove to her and my dad that I'm not lying... But they still don't believe me!! Urg. :(

I know its annoying.
& it seems like there's no way of proving ourselves.
My mom doesn't believe me for , but she says she trusts me.
I'm like , how do you trust me but not believe me?
Like at the moment we're not even talking.. "/
I always wish that my mom & I would get along and are able to talk about things like usual teenage girls.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loving monkey 14

Well when ever I go over to this girls house which by the way my parents know very well because she is my best friend, they think that because half the time her mom is never home that we go an just have free will. So when I want to go over there and I tell them what we will be doing and I even tell them her mom or a guardian will be there they don't believe me, my best friends mom even calls my mom and talks to her... But that still ain't good enough. But that isn't all they don't believe me about, it's so bad because they can't even believe me when I say our school is having a track meet and I would like to stay, they had to email the coach and ask, I was like are you serious. So they don't believe me about ALOT and I mean ALOT of things... And I'm just trying to figure our why's

How old are you?
I know when my daughter was young there was no way she was going to a boy's house when there was no one there. Teenagers and hormones are a toxic mix or any one's house when there was no one supervising.
Has there been an issue before with you and a girl or your being someplace other than where you were supposed to be?

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

welcome to my world!
my parents are the same way.
they never let me go out with friends, becuase they think im lying about that, and ill go & meet up with guys & crapp.
but i would never do that!
im not a hoe.
but to answer your question..
some of us are lucky to have parents believe us, and like you & i.. ours dont.
so its all in the matter of PROVING to them that we're honest, & loyal to them.

When I was your age (a thousand years ago), my parents refused to let me go with friends to see Hayley Mills' Disney movie, "The Parent Trap," because my parents said a movie about trapping parents has to be evil.

So what were you complaining about?

("Hoe" is spelled "ho," by the way. A hoe is a garden tool.)

Have you sat down and tried to discuss this with them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

i always wish that my mom & i would get along and are able to talk about things like usual teenage girls.

How many girls your age do you know who get along with their mom?

A lot

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

a lot

And why do they get along?

Because they don't have my mom.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

because they dont have my mom.

You can do better than that. Try again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

i know its annoying.
& it seems like theres no way of proving our selves.
my mom doesnt believe me for , but she says she trusts me.
im like , how do you trust me but not believe me?
like at the moment we're not even talking.. "/
i always wish that my mom & i would get along and are able to talk about things like usual teenage girls.

You and your mom are not teenaged girls. She is the parent, you the child. Teenage talk is for teenage friends. You will understand this when you yourself are a parent of a teeneger.

Well maybe my mom should trust me.
I try my best in everything & including being her daughter.
But I guess I don't live up to her expections.
Maybe itd be nice if she showed more support in me.
Not just her, but my father as well.
They could do a lot better at being parents.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

they could do a lot better at being parents.

Or maybe you could do better at being their child? What do you actually do wrong that you could change?

My daughter and I got along to a point, but we were not like friends. She understood that I was mom and her dad was dad and as much as she liked being around us, there were going to be times when we were going to lay down a law she was not going to be pleased with. She was not going to be able to do anything she wanted to do, there were going to be decisions we would make she would not agree with or understand... But after she graduated from college she told both of us that she thought we were often too strict, but she now understood why and appreciated our "No you can't" You will too in due time.
Sure there are instances of parents being too strict, but IMO that is better than being "best friend" all of the time and being too permissive. It does you little good in the long run.

You act like I don't try.
Serisouly, try getting to know me & my problems before you act like you know everything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

you act like i dont try.
serisouly, try getting to know me & my problems before you act like you know everything.

There - you just proved precisely what I am talking about.

I didn't prove anything?

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

i didnt prove anything ??

You immediately went on the defensive and lashed out. I'm a stranger, so I wonder how you act with your parents.

Well you keep blaming EVERYTHING on me.
Your saying its all my fault.
I mean seriously, study my parents.
My parents have made me so upset,
I did something that made me end up in the hospital!

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

well you keep blaming EVERYTHING on me.
your saying its all my fault.
i mean seriously, study my parents.
my parents have made me so upset,
i did something that made me end up in the hospital!

YOU allow yourself to be upset. It's your choice to be upset.

I'm studying you right now. Ask your parents to join us on this thread so we can get their side of things.

If you don't mind me saying.
I try my best to be happy.
But I cant, every time I smile.. I'm upsetted again.
My parents aren't home.. they're gone.
Like they've always been.

She did not blame EVERYTHING on you and just like lovingmonkey14 I'm sure her parents don't EVER believer her.
This is part of the growing process. Teens need parents and they need structure and rules. Parents give them, teens rebel and think their parents "dont understand" News flash, we were once teens ourselves.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

if you dont mind me saying.
i try my best to be happy.
but i cant, everytime i smile.. im upsetted again.
my parents arent home.. they're gone.
like theyve always been.

If they're always gone, there's shouldn't be a problem. It's like you're alone and free.

(It's "upset," not "upsetted.")

I'm not free.
I'm jailed.

And do you always have to correct people?

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

im not free.
im jailed.

and do you always have to correct people?

I correct people who should know better and have been in school long enough to know better and are griping about teachers and counselors who claim they don't do their schoolwork.

"Jailed" - yeah, right.

Well you know what.. seriously.
I am in school
But maybe you should start liking someone who cares & that Doesn't think they know everyone.
& you if you know everything, maybe you should know I WAS abused a couple of times.
So please.. please just stop!

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

maybe you should know i WAS abused a couple of times.
so please.. please just stop!

Ah, your ace in the hole!

Who abused you, how, and when? And did you report it?

Your ace in the hole? What?

My father.
No, because they would take me my brother & sister away & theyd seprated us.
And I can't be seprated from them, they're my everything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

your ace in the hole? what?

my father.
no, because they would take me my brother & sister away & theyd seprated us.
and i can't be seprated from them, they're my everything.

How many times, how long, did he abuse you? Is it still going on? What kind of abuse?

He would be taken away, not your siblings.

Just a couple of times.
Some times, if he gets too angry.

Maybe he'll take them away,
But he'll get out... sooner or later and keep doing it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

just a couple of times.
Some times, if he gets too angry.

And what form does his abuse take?

Quote:

maybe he'll take them away,
But he'll get out... sooner or later and keep doing it.

How could he take them away? He'd be arrested and put in jail. And he would be watched after he got out.

He's crazy I tell you

Quote:

Originally Posted by fahhuhhteaa

hes crazy i tell you

So you won't answer my reasonable questions that are intended to help, but just throw out a wild statement. Okayyyyyyyyyyy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

How old are you?
I know when my daughter was young there was no way she was going to a boy's house when there was no one there. Teenagers and hormones are a toxic mix or any one's house when there was no one supervising.
Has there been an issue before with you and a girl or your being someplace other than where you were supposed to be?

I'm 14 and no there has never been any problem at my best friends or anyone else house for that matter. She says she trusts but yet she never believes me. And my best friend and pretty much all my friends really cannot have boys over when there is no parent home so that should play no role in her thinking.