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-   -   Love a girl but not sure if she shares the same feelings and has a boyfriend (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=375302)

  • Jul 13, 2009, 07:47 PM
    FlashFire19
    Love a girl but not sure if she shares the same feelings and has a boyfriend
    I think about her every day and I'm just not sure if I should tell her that I love her, considering the fact that she has a boyfriend. Whatever happens, I want her to be happy. I thought about slipping a note in her shoe whenever I get the chance. By the way, I'm 14. Please help.
  • Jul 13, 2009, 08:20 PM
    friend4u178

    She already has a BF so she is OFF LIMITS!!
  • Jul 13, 2009, 08:26 PM
    Torrid13

    You love her and want what's best for her, right?


    So do what's best for her and don't ruin her current relationship.

    See how loving that is?
  • Jul 13, 2009, 08:52 PM
    talaniman

    I don't think the note in the shoe is a good idea. Telling her how you feel is not a good idea either. I think its best to just leave a situation like that alone, as it would be kind of rough to be rejected by her, and then she, and all her friends will know you like her.

    Leave this alone, and get your own girlfriend, and don't mess with someone else's girl.

    How would you feel if someone was messing with your girl?
  • Jul 13, 2009, 08:57 PM
    RandomGuy123

    1. You only 14 for one - Having life time relationships from that age is unfortunately rare.

    2. Even if she did "dump" her now boyfriend for you, would you really want a girlfriend that could do that to her boyfriend - If your saying, "I don't care" your what some people call, "thinking with your ***".

    3. Think about how the guy will feel - Sad, and embarrassed probably.

    4. Just wait till high school! YEAH!! And College!! - Haha, just wait till high school man. There's going to be lots of girls there :)
  • Jul 14, 2009, 03:30 AM
    FlashFire19

    Um, actually, I'm homeschooled.
  • Jul 14, 2009, 03:34 AM
    FlashFire19
    Besides, she has never dumped someone, not yet at least. And she's a sucker for stuff like "aww, that's so sweet!" Her previous boyfriend dumped her at disney world, so I'm not sure how long she's been with this one. I don't think it has been very long.
  • Jul 14, 2009, 05:08 AM
    talaniman

    That's her business though, but you can be a friend, and friends don't just try to ruin what another friend has going on. That would be selfish, and manipulative. You would be no better than the loser (in your opinion) that she has now. That's no good.
  • Jul 14, 2009, 08:58 AM
    HelpinHere

    I agree. Just, stick around, and be there for her. If she doesn't stay with her current boyfriend, then chances are you'll be right there for her.
    By trying to get with her now, and not being patient, you could only make things worse for yourself.

    Also, why did you choose her shoe to slip the note?
    (just curious)
  • Jul 14, 2009, 03:55 PM
    FlashFire19

    I don't know.
  • Jul 14, 2009, 04:43 PM
    talaniman

    Fair warning, just being a friend can ruin any chance at romance. I think being balanced with other things will help, as being to close a friend could be as bad as her having a boyfriend.
  • Jul 14, 2009, 08:16 PM
    FlashFire19

    I took a leap of faith and apparently, she doesn't have a boyfriend! I used a new Facebook account and used a fake identity and told her my feelings and so far so good! She hasn't figured everything out yet, but she will by tomorrow!
  • Jul 14, 2009, 08:30 PM
    friend4u178

    If you play games be prepared for the consequences when she finds out.
  • Jul 14, 2009, 10:35 PM
    AManWithNoName

    What's with all these kids liking girls with boyfreinds or girlfreinds? The teenage life shouldn't have to be this dramatic if we just used common sense!!
    Listen, any girl with a boyfreind is going to love that boyfreind no matter what! Gaaaah!! I can't stand guys like you because my girlfreind has a little admirer, and really, its just as bad for the boyfreind! We see it as competition. And if you do put the note in her shoe, who's the first person she tells? The boyfreind! And what's he going to want to do? Hurt you! Hurt you a lot! But she won't let us, ooh no! But you will never be on her good side, because putting notes in girls shoes is creepy, not charming or cute! "But i love her" that's just as creepy! She has a love in her life, and she will love him until she's good and ready to move on, and a creepy note some kid left in her shoe will never change that! My girlfreind has gotten flowers from her admirer, gotten invitations to the movies, guess who she takes to the movies, meeee!
    Im sorry to break your balls, but she is off limets and if you do any thing you will get emotionally and physically hurt!
    And about you loving her, you don't even have enough emotional history or atatchment to declare love for her
    Love is decided after time to get to become emotionally attatched to a girl, falling in love not just with her looks, or if she's nice to you, but the way she is to others, the little things she does, and the way she expresses her self!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 02:39 PM
    FlashFire19

    That IS why I love her! And she apparently doesn't have a boyfriend (I must have heard wrong).
  • Jul 15, 2009, 06:08 PM
    talaniman

    Ask her if she does or not. Why keep speculating.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 07:18 PM
    FlashFire19

    I did, and she said that she didn't have one.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 07:21 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by FlashFire19 View Post
    I did, and she said that she didn't have one.

    I think what Talaniman was saying was "Why don't you ask her if she likes you"
  • Jul 16, 2009, 02:27 PM
    FlashFire19

    Ok, I'll try it. Thanks.
  • Jul 17, 2009, 06:56 PM
    FlashFire19

    Still working on it.
  • Jul 18, 2009, 10:47 AM
    soulslayer09

    So what are u trying to figure out exactly?? If she has a boyfriend how's that working out?
  • Jul 18, 2009, 10:51 AM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by soulslayer09 View Post
    so what are u trying to figure out exactly??? if she has a boyfriend hows that working out?

    Soulslayer, please go read the last two pages. We have already established that she doesn't have a boyfriend after all, and insists he loves her, and he is going to "try" to see if she likes him back.
  • Jul 18, 2009, 08:06 PM
    FlashFire19
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HelpinHere View Post
    Soulslayer, please go read the last two pages. We have already established that she doesn't have a girlfriend indeed, and insists he loves her, and he is going to "try" to see if she likes him back.

    She doesn't have a BOYFRIEND.
  • Jul 18, 2009, 08:14 PM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by FlashFire19 View Post
    She doesn't have a BOYFRIEND.

    XD Sorry, stupid mistake. I edited my post to correct that. Good catch.
  • Jul 19, 2009, 03:59 AM
    FlashFire19
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HelpinHere View Post
    xD Sorry, stupid mistake. I edited my post to correct that. Good catch.

    Thanks, and I get paranoid about things like that, so that's why I corrected you.
  • Jul 19, 2009, 05:03 PM
    FlashFire19

    Okay, didn't work out. Oh well, I tried. Thanks for all of your help! I'm just going to be her friend now (aka: she doesn't like me as more than a friend). Well, there are plenty of fish in the sea. But I still like her. Who knows, mabye she'll change her mind.
    Once again, thanks!
  • Jul 19, 2009, 05:17 PM
    Torrid13

    Don't wait for her to change her mind. Get on with life and find someone else.
  • Jul 19, 2009, 08:01 PM
    FlashFire19
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    Don't wait for her to change her mind. Get on with life and find someone else.

    Um, like I said before, I'm homeschooled. There's no one at "school" that I could possibly have a crush on. So, church would be the only option, which is where I found her. I do go to other group events, but I don't "like" anyone there.
  • Jul 19, 2009, 08:17 PM
    Torrid13
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by FlashFire19 View Post
    Um, like I said before, I'm homeschooled. There's no one at "school" that I could possably have a crush on. So, church would be the only option, which is where I found her. I do go to other group events, but I don't "like" anyone there.

    I never said anything about finding someone at school. Of course right now you're not over her, but in time you will and meet someone somewhere.
  • Jul 20, 2009, 08:20 AM
    FlashFire19

    Well, okay. If you say so. But I will still always sort of like her (or at least until she's married, duh. Because that would just cause problems). I mean, seriously, she might change her mind. You never know.
  • Jul 20, 2009, 10:11 AM
    talaniman

    You never know, but you can't fish in the desert because the fish are in the sea. Go where the boys and girls go around you. Got some guy friends??
  • Jul 20, 2009, 11:18 AM
    FlashFire19

    Yeah, but why? They don't "like" anyone at church. They're not homeschooled like me.
  • Jul 20, 2009, 11:32 AM
    talaniman

    But they can steer you to what guys your age, who aren't home schooled do for fun. And broaden your horizons, and increase your options and opportunities.

    Does you homeschooling, or church, permit this?
  • Jul 20, 2009, 12:05 PM
    FlashFire19
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    But they can steer you to what guys your age, who aren't home schooled do for fun. And broaden your horizons, and increase your options and opportunities.

    Does you homeschooling, or church, permit this??

    I'm sorry, I don't understand the question.
  • Jul 20, 2009, 01:13 PM
    shazamataz

    Correct me if I am wrong but I think Taliniman means things like joining groups like sports clubs or hobby groups, even things like the scouts.
  • Jul 20, 2009, 01:18 PM
    FlashFire19

    Oh.
  • Jul 20, 2009, 01:19 PM
    FlashFire19
    But, wouldn't there be only boys there?
  • Jul 20, 2009, 02:07 PM
    shazamataz

    Not necessarily, a lot of sports clubs have mixed teams. I used to play mixed doubles tennis.
    Or even if you join an all boy group it's a great way to get out and meet people, who knows, one of them might have a cute sister ;)

    Wait for Taliniman to come back though because he may have meant something different, that is just how I interpreted it.
  • Jul 20, 2009, 02:38 PM
    FlashFire19

    Okay.
  • Jul 20, 2009, 03:13 PM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    Wait for Taliniman to come back though because he may have meant something different, that is just how I interpreted it.

    Well, the way I interpreted it was similar, but not exact, to how you did.

    I basically saw it as:
    "find out where your guy friends hang out, and what they do for fun. Girls and guys your age like basically the same thing, so if they are finding girls, you can to. Would your church/parents allow you to go out with friends to try and meet girls?"

    That's how I read it... but yours is just as likely... we'll have to just wait and see... xD

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