Ask Me Help Desk - Feeling worthless

Feeling worthless

Well I'm an 18 y/o boy that just can't seem to get a break in life. Not material wise though I do believe I have everything that I want. My parents are nice, giving, and loving. There is just one problem though, I seem to be un-dateable I don't know why. Im not the kind of guy to push for sex or any kind of stuff like that I just want a meaningful relationship but can never seem to keep any kind of relation for more than a few weeks. This has happened for so long that I have decided to just stop dating all-together and it worked wonders for about a year. I have tried again but its just the same stuff different day. I really think that there is no help for me any more and I just keep getting more and more depressed. Can someone shed some light on the situation? I just want to feel some feeling of being wanted.

Tell me about yourself. What do you like to eat? What do you consider a fun activity?Which authors have you enjoyed? Do you have any pets? Wht position are you among your siblings? What would I like most about you? Least?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Tell me about yourself. What do you like to eat? What do you consider a fun activity?Which authors have you enjoyed? Do you have any pets? Wht position are you among your siblings? What would I like most about you? Least?

Well I like to eat... hmm well there is almost nothing I don't eat
The most fun activity to me is soccer
I don't really read a lot but I liked the book Anthem I just can't remember who wrote it
I had one pet my dog trixie she got hit by a fedex truck one day as I was getting off the bus.
I'm a middle child
You might like the fact that I will try to do anything to help or fix any problem even if it hurts me
You also might dislike that many people do I don't know
I just want to feel loved by someone that's not family or friend

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

Well i like to eat .... hmm well there is almost nothing i dont eat
The most fun activity to me is soccer
i don't really read alot but i liked the book Anthem i just can't remember who wrote it
i had one pet my dog trixie she got hit by a fedex truck one day as i was getting off the bus.
im a middle child
you might like the fact that i will try to do anything to help or fix any problem even if it hurts me
you also might dislike that many people do idk
i just want to feel loved by someone thats not family or friend

Anthem - Ayn Rand??

It's after 1 a.m. here in Chicagoland and I have to go to bed.

The best girlfriend would be one who started as just a friend. Are there any possibilities like that? Are you in school yet? What are your career plans?

I'll check back in the morning. Tell me more stuff about who you are. (And where do you live?? )

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Anthem - Ayn Rand????

It's after 1 a.m. here in Chicagoland and I have to go to bed.

The best girlfriend would be one who started out as just a friend. Are there any possibilities like that? Are you in school yet? What are your career plans?

I'll check back in the morning. Tell me more stuff about who you are. (And where do you live???)

Yeah its after 1 here to I can't sleep
Umm no possibilities for a girlfriend that's starts as a friend I uh guess I'm not that type of guy
I'm in my senior year
I am going to Our Lady of the Lake college to be a radiologist technician
I just like to have fun but lately I've been to depressed to do anything fun.
I live in Louisiana though I was born in New York

Hi, shank90!

Aren't there any groups or clubs in which you could get involved where you could meet girls with whom you could become friends?

Thanks!

You are 18. There is no reason to expect a serious, meaningful relationship right now. I didn't have my first serious relationship until I was 21, and that was because I refused to settle for someone that didn't click with me. Don't worry about these things, just enjoy your life, and I PROMISE eventually you will find yourself involved with someone that you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with... then, you will probably get your heart broken... but, that is apart of life.

I know, Debbie Downer huh? Just enjoy, and don't expect, that's all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kctiger

You are 18. There is no reason to expect a serious, meaningful relationship right now. I didn't have my first serious relationship until I was 21, and that was because I refused to settle for someone that didn't click with me. Don't worry about these things, just enjoy your life, and I PROMISE eventually you will find yourself involved with someone that you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with...then, you will probably get your heart broken...but, that is apart of life.

I know, Debbie Downer huh? Just enjoy, and don't expect, that's all.

Yea your probably right but I just had so many bad experiences that I don't know it I even want to pursue any kind of relation any more I feel like if I just stay down in the dumps and never be happy then there is no way some one cane make me feel any worse and I would know what to expect every day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, shank90!

Aren't there any groups or clubs in which you could get involved where you could meet girls with whom you could become friends?

Thanks!

Um I was going to get in the math and science club but I was to late but other than that there is not too much going on in this P.O.S town

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

um i was going to get in the math and science club but i was to late but other than that there is not too much going on in this P.O.S town

Too late?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

too late?

Yea I missed the sign up deadline for it

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

yea i missed the sign up deadline for it

Join a different one. The yearbook one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

Well I'm an 18 y/o boy that just can't seem to get a break in life.

You don't GET breaks -- you MAKE them. What have you done for yourself lately?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Join a different one. The yearbook one.

Its way too late to join anything now

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You don't GET breaks -- you MAKE them. What have you done for yourself lately?

I have tried to talk to this one girl from childhood as friends and that worked great for a while but then we started to go to the movies and stuff like that then one day she called me to her house to just chill which was fun but then the next day she wouldn't talk to me or text or answer calls nothing she just stopped I don't know what happened

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

i have tried to talk to this one girl from childhood as friends and that worked great for a while but then we started to go to the movies and stuff like that then one day she called me to her house to just chill which was fun but then the next day she wouldn't talk to me or text or answer calls nothing she just stopped idk what happened

So then ask someone else out. Ever ask out a shy girl or a plump one or one who probably doesn't get many or any dates?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So then ask someone else out. Ever ask out a shy girl or a plump one or one who probably doesn't get many or any dates?

Yes I have and it was really awkward and then she dumped me cause she said I wasn't what she was looking for. Now that's all well and good I understand that but how come the very next morning I saw her kissing on another guy

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

yes i have and it was really awkward and then she dumped me cause she said i wasn't what she was looking for. Now thats all well and good i understand that but how come the very next morning i saw her kissing on another guy

So what. Then ask out someone else. You got to kiss a lot of frogettes before you find your princess.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So what. Then ask out someone else. You gotta kiss a lot of frogettes before you find your princess.

Yeah but then ill get warts haha
No but uhh I see what your saying that makes a lot of sense but I think what it is is that I'm just way to sensitive to rejected all the time or something like that it just hurts a lot and it feels really weird saying that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

yeah but then ill get warts haha
no but uhh i see what your saying that makes a lot of sense but i think what it is is that im just way to sensitive to rejected all the time or something like that it just hurts a lot and it feels really weird saying that.

You're the only one who gets rejected all the time?? Stick around and read the questions that get posted on this site. I can't believe anyboy finds anybody based on what I read here.

Just shrug your shoulders and say "So what!" and keep asking girls out. After one date, you don't even have a relationship to get upset about losing. Sheesh.

On your next date, tell her you are doing a kissing survey. You will kiss her at the end of the date and she is the judge of how you did based on how romantic it was, how honest, how messy, how effective, etc. You very much need her input. Ask her how you can improve on your kissing technique.

Or ask her about your dating style.

She's just a date, not your next wife.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You're the only one who gets rejected all the time?????????? Stick around and read the questions that get posted on this site. I can't believe anyboy finds anybody based on what I read here.

Just shrug your shoulders and say "So what!" and keep asking girls out. After one date, you don't even have a relationship to get upset about losing. Sheesh.

Yeah but it sounds like your getting mad I appreciate the help a lot I really do but its nothing to get mad over

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

yeah but it sounds like your getting mad i appreciate the help a lot i really do but its nothing to get mad over

I'm not mad at all! I'm remembering all the angst and worry I had when I was your age and how stupid it all was. I'm giving you the precious gift of my many years of dating and vast experience and supreme intelligence.

And if I were mad, so what. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with me. Stop taking rejection personally. You end up being a self-imposed victim and then will start whining like a martyr does. You don't want to be a victim and a martyr, do you?

Feeling rejection every time a girl frowns at you or kisses another guy or doesn't text you back again is soooooooooooooo counterproductive. You should feel ELATED that she's one more frogette out of your life and one you don't have to think about any longer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm not mad at all! I'm remembering all the angst and worry I had when I was your age and how stupid it all was. I'm giving you the precious gift of my many years of dating and vast experience and supreme intelligence.

And if I were mad, so what. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with me. Stop taking rejection personally. You end up being a self-imposed victim and then will start whining like a martyr does. You don't want to be a victim and a martyr, do you?

Feeling rejection every time a girl frowns at you or kisses another guy or doesn't text you back again is soooooooooooooo counterproductive. You should feel ELATED that she's one more frogette out of your life and one you don't have to think about any longer.

Yeah like I said I really do appreciate all your doing. But you've raised another question I really don't know how not to take rejection personally

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

yeah like i said i really do appreciate all your doing. but you've raised another question i really don't know how not to take rejection personally

Just decide not to take it personally. It's your choice, after all. Reframe it. Think about all those frogettes. You've rejected or ignored a ton of girls yourself. How do they feel?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Just decide not to take it personally. It's your choice, after all. Reframe it. Think about all those frogettes. You've rejected or ignored a ton of girls yourself. How do they feel?

Yea I see... I don't think I've ever rejected a girl before now I can be wrong I just don't believe I have anytime a girl asked me which was like 3 times I agreed to go out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

yea i see.... i don't think i've ever rejected a girl before now i can be wrong i just dont believe i have anytime a girl asked me which was like 3 times i agreed to go out.

What about all those girls you've never asked out on a date?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What about all those girls you've never asked out on a date?

Well they didn't miss out on much

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

well they didn't miss out on much

Bingo! There's your problem. You don't like you very much. If even you don't like you, how can anyone else like you? You attract what you project. Stop putting out such awful vibes!!

Tell me how tomorrow will be different, will be an improvement. Promise me you will make one small change, one improvement in how you project yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Bingo! There's your problem. You don't like you very much. If even you don't like you, how can anyone else like you? You attract what you project. Stop putting out such awful vibes!!!

Tell me how tomorrow will be different, will be an improvement. Promise me you will make one small change, one improvement in how you project yourself.

Yeah OK I accept your challenge I'm starting to understand some more
I uh I will instead of listening to my iPod all day during school I might try to talk to people is that what your talking about?

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

Yeah ok i accept your challenge i'm starting to understand some more
i uh i will instead of listening to my ipod all day during school i might try to talk to people is that what your talking about?

"Some people" is kind of vague. Let's fancy that up a little bit and get more specific. Who? What could you say (generally)? How will you look and act? Will you be a good listener or will you babble your head off?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

"Some people" is kinda vague. Let's fancy that up a little bit and get more specific. Who? What could you say (generally)? How will you look and act? Will you be a good listener or will you babble your head off?

Argg your to strict but still I accept I won't just talk like an airhead I will simply converse. But with who I can't really say I will just know the right moment like when I usually try to back away and stay solitaire I will instead try to make the situation more comfortable by uh breaking the ice I think its called. I will ask how people are doing and stuff like that and try not to look nervous all the time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, shank90!

Aren't there any groups or clubs in which you could get involved where you could meet girls with whom you could become friends?

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

Um I was going to get in the math and science club but I was to late but other than that there is not too much going on in this P.O.S town.

Hi again, shank90!

Thanks for answering my question that I asked you much earlier on this thread! What was in that post is quoted above.

Do you participate in music or sports activities as a player or musician, please?

Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

argg your to strict but still i accept i wont just talk like an airhead i will simply converse. but with who i can't really say i will just know the right moment like when i usually try to back away and stay solitaire i will instead try to make the situation more comfortable by uh breaking the ice i think its called. i will ask how people are doing and stuff like that and try not to look nervous all the time.

You will simply be a good listener - and don't have to carry the conversation. Say stuff like "Wow!" or "Cool!" or "Tell me more" or "You don't say....." and do good eye contact and look interested, even smile a little. Girls LOVE to talk so practice with one of them.

I want a report tomorrow evening. Before midnight. Don't forget.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You will simply be a good listener - and don't have to carry the conversation. Say stuff like "Wow!" or "Cool!" or "Tell me more" or "You don't say....." and do good eye contact and look interested, even smile a little. Girls LOVE to talk so practice with one of them.

I want a report tomorrow evening. Before midnight. Don't forget.

OK well I have to go to bed I will talk tomorrow
Again thanks a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi again, shank90!

Thanks for answering my question that I asked you much earlier on this thread! What was in that post is quoted above.

Do you participate in music or sports activities as a player or musician, please?

Thanks!

Yes I play the guitar piano and trombone
My favorite sport probably cause it's the one that I'm best at is soccer

Quote:

Originally Posted by shank90

Yes i play the guitar piano and trombone
my favorite sport prolly cause its the one that im best at is soccer

That's great! Then we can go from there! I was hoping that you at least played some kind of instrument!

Wondergirl is wonderful! Please do follow her advice! I can help you to do some things that might help you to feel better about yourself that maybe might make you feel more attractive and also how you might attract others as well as realize your full potential as to what you might have to offer someone with whom you might want to become intimate.

Later...

Thanks!

Hi shank90 am BabyDoll I think you just haven't found the right person for you. But don't worry in time you will find someone who wants the same thing you want. You seem like a nice person and there is someone for everyone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

That's great! Then we can go from there! I was hoping that you at least played some kind of instrument!

Wondergirl is wonderful! Please do follow her advice! I can help you to do some things that might help you to feel better about yourself that maybe might make you feel more attractive and also how you might attract others as well as realize your full potential as to what you might have to offer someone with whom you might want to become intimate.

Later...

Thanks!

Cool thanks for the input I would love the advice

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyDoll22

hi shank90 am BabyDoll I think you just haven't found the right person for you. but don't worry in time you will find someone who wants the same thing you want. you seem like a nice person and their is somone for everyone.

Thanks that was nice I'm just still wondering if that one person is out there ( or as Wondergirl would say any froggetts )