Hi I'm 17 and I dated this guy for 2 years and now I think I'm pregnant by him. We haven't spoken in 3 months and I have a restraining order against him because he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and I wanted to know what some other people my age thought about it. He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us. Should I tell him or just go it alone?? I do have a new boyfriend who has an 11 month old and supports me and loves me either way. What do you guys think I should do?:confused:

I would not tell him, and look for another guy that's nice enough to love you for who you are and the baby.

If that makes sense.

First find out if you are or are not pregnant, before you stress out over this loser. If you are... I think you know what the answer is already.

I agree with Stormy by finding out if you are pregnant or not first before making any drastic decissions.
However, why do u think he is the father of your un-born child (if you are pregnant) as you said u haven't spoken to him in 3 months? :confused:

That's true Krs.

If I were in your shoes, I would protect my child by not telling the father. Sounds like this new man you are with would be a better father anyway.

If I were in your shoes I would protect my child and myself. If he's abusive in any way he'd be a horrible father in my books. My father was abusive to my mother and as we got older he did the same to me and my sisters. If your new boyfriend is willing to help you take care of your child he may be the better man. No world is worth living in if its filled with pain. Safest bet. Find out if your pregnant. And if you are don't tell him...

You need to protect yourself and your unborn baby by staying away from all abusive relationships. Pregnany usually increases violence in cases like this. Do you have a support system for when the baby is born? Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and relatives.

If you are pregnant, don't tell him. If he used to beat you up, he may start again if you tell him, and harm your un-born child.

Just stay with your new boyfriend. And ask him what his opinion on this is? If he truly loves you he will help and support you in every way he can. :)

Well unless this seriously goes against your religion. I think you should have an abortion. It was unprotected and unperdited and if he is threning the baby than why go through with it. And plus you have your whole life ahead of you like college why throw that all away to stay at home and care for a infant at only 17

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Originally Posted by TooCool12

Well unless this seriously goes against your religion. I think you should have an abortion. It was unprotected and unperdited and if he is threning the baby than why go through with it. And plus you have your whole life ahead of you like college why throw that all away to stay at home and care for a infant at only 17

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I so disagree, why should her inocent unborn child suffer the consequences of un protected sex!

I think abortion is the WORST thing in the world, it should be illegal, unborn babies should be protected just like kids who are living. First of all I would NEVER have an abortion and kill my baby when he did nothing at all and that would just be giving my ex exactly what he wants. He wants to control me and he knows I love kids and I want this baby and I found out that I definitely am pregnant and of course I'm keeping it. Abortion is homicide. Would you kill a baby that is already born? Sorry if I sound rude I am just really stressed out I start my senior year in a week and the whole world will know and now I'm really going to be in trouble because he's going to find out.

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Originally Posted by Luv_My_Reece

he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us.

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This person is obviously not a family man. If he used to beat you, that's a big hint that he is not a good life partner. Second, if he doesn't want any part of you or the baby if you have one, what says he wants any part of you anyway. Third, if he said he would hurt you and the baby, then that means... he would hurt you without considering your health, ultimately jeopardizing you, and possible, your baby... Duh. The point is, this person could be a potential killer, and most importantly, has the risk of badly injuring you and you offspring. Excuse my language, but this guy is a complete jackass and a bastard.:eek:

I would suggest have no part of him for the rest of your life.

Hey your whole sich kind of sucks hey? Well if I were in your position I think as hard as it'd be I wouldn't tell him... he doesn't sound like someone you really want in your baby's life... unlike your new boyfriend... I think that if you do ever want to tell him tell him over the phone or somethingor tell him with your new boyfriend by your side in case things get out of hand... just don't do it alone! Well I really hope I helped even a little... good luck with the baby and the future

Thanks everybody. I am pregnant, it's a boy, I have lots of family and friends who are more than willing to help me plus my boyfriend. I'm definitely keeping him his father will not be told about him and I have a restraining order so he can not come near either one of us. I think I'm going to name him Rowan. Thanks for all you advise.

If I were in your situation,I would forget the babies father-he may be the biological dad,but if the guy your with now loves and supports you,surely your better off with what you've got?the babies father doesn't even deserve to be a dad and have the pleasure of having a family.so just forget him and get on with your life.. you deserve better

Too Cool
Having an abortion is such a personal decision. Age aside this unborn child and young lady can have a very healthy relationship and I do not see her throwing her life away by keeping the baby. However, either way it is her decision.

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Originally Posted by Luv_My_Reece

Hi I'm 17 and I dated this guy for 2 years and now I think I'm pregnant by him. We haven't spoken in 3 months and I have a restraining order against him because he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and I wanted to know what some other people my age thought about it. He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us. Should I tell him or just go it alone??? I do have a new boyfriend who has an 11 month old and supports me and loves me either way. What do you guys think I should do?:confused:

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You should not tell him. If you did so you would put yourself and your child in danger. You should stay away from him. If he does harm you you should call the police and have the problem solved!
Good Luck!

You have had a rough 6 months and I think you should avail yourself to the counseling of an older female, that you trust. I think you really should get professional help.

Aww babe, chin up. First off... dont tell him, your only asking for trouble. Second, make sure you really are pregnant. If you are make sure your new boyfriend is OK with it, and are you sure its not his? Decide if you want to tell your parents, and decide, if this guy was really a jerk what your feelings on abortion are. Like I said, figure out what the situaion is, and figure out what you want to do, but DO not tell the guy... its not with it.

Shame, keep away from him that's what I would do, not being nasty but he doesn't seem bovered I would just stick to yourself or even better it seems you have a new boyfriend who cares about you go ahead!

Tell the police. If he beats you and makes threats, that's a crime. Have him aressted so that even if you never see him again, at least he won't be able to hurt anyone else.

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Originally Posted by Luv_My_Reece

Hi I'm 17 and I dated this guy for 2 years and now I think I'm pregnant by him. We haven't spoken in 3 months and I have a restraining order against him because he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and I wanted to know what some other people my age thought about it. He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us. Should I tell him or just go it alone??? I do have a new boyfriend who has an 11 month old and supports me and loves me either way. What do you guys think I should do?:confused:

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You should fore get about that creep 7 continue to be happy with the man who respects you for you also try to keep an idea on what that fool is doing 7 where he is at so when your older & stable you can let him know he has a child 7 why you didn't tell him sooner but make sure your strong enough 7 well stable to confront him because he sounds crazy!

I would tell him if I were you and demand child support from his flaky @ss. Let the cops or your close friends deal with him if he tries to hurt you. However, I guess this would be a bit hard if you still love him. Otherwise, I'd say go for it.

My cousin is going through a similar problem, only she split with her boyfriend when her daughter was 1 1/2. Now it is really tough on her and she's asking the same question. Its good you have a restraining order. Now I know you probably don't want to talk to your parents about this issue- I wouldn't either- but if you are pregnant, they'll find out eventually, right?

I DO NOT agree with "Toocool12" DO NOT have an abortion, no matter what. If you are pregnant you need to bring this baby into the world. If you did not use protection or any form of birth control then you knew the risks. It was your dicision to have sex and you knew the possible consequences. Now you have to live with them. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh

Stick with the guy that will stay by your side and supports you. If that other guy threatened to hurt your baby, you shouldn't go within at least 200 yards of him. Just steer clear of your ex

Don't TELL HIM! You would never want to harm your child. Keep it to yourself. And you do NOT need to stress or worry about this man coming back into your life. If you child wants to meet him, or get involved with him again once they are older, than let them meet. But otherwise. Don't tell him

I would make sure he couldn't hurt me, then tell him. He has a right to know he has a baby, even if he doesn't want him/her. You never know if, later on, he will want to help take care of him/her.
KMEH

The first step, I think, is to take a pregnancy test and find out for sure, as many people have already said. Then, if you find out you are, you should consider abortion because having a baby at this point may make life more difficult for you at this age. But if you want to have the baby, it's up to you. And in that case, it seems like your new boyfriend is a kind, supportive guy and you're lucky to have him. I'd say the boyfriend you had before would not understand and could even hurt you- so end it with him. Hmm also, I'd say talk it over with your parents; I'm sure they'll have the best advice for you.

You should try to avoid him and try to live life as smoothly as you can

First of all, go to the doctor or buy a prgnancy test asap. If your missed your period for a long it could mean your pregnant or your stressing over the fact that you may be pregnant. If you are, depending on your beliefs is abortion or adoption something you've thought of. This new boyfriend of yours seems to be a ideal boyfriend and I would stay with him. Is he a good father? Does he treat you right? IF so, you should stay with him. If he's okay with you having a baby that isn't his during the relationshp, then keep it. Remember though that depedning if your still in school or not, babies are a lot of responsibility. Your ex seems like a psyco. He needs anger management. Don't bother telling him your pregnant, but if you keep it, you need to tell him, it's his right to know. Plus he'll have to pay child support. If he's threatening you and the baby, your child's life will be thought of as a mistake and you could put yourself and th e baby at danger. Don't you have dreams like to go to college or something. Think about your future.

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Originally Posted by Krs

I so disagree, why should her inocent unborn child suffer the consequences of un protected sex!

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I disagree with abortion too. If your new boyfriend has an 11 month old and supports you and his kid and you love him I think you shouldn't tell your ex. All you need is the boyfriend you have now.

First and foremost I agree with Krs, most pregnancies by a 17 year old are unpredicted and unprotected, a mature decision needs to be made here. Secondly, all of you are forgetting one very important thing here, I full heartedly agree that she needs to not tell him, have the baby and lean on the new guy to help her through this. What we are all leaving out here, is why does this loser get to get off scott free? Once the baby is here, he can't harm her unborn child anymore, but he needs to get his butt to court to set up child support. Why should she have to financially support this child on her own. A loser like that is only thinking of himself and how much a baby would cost him! Too bad he should have thought about that before he had unprotected sex as well. It goes both ways, a woman can offer the protection just as easy as a guy can. She also needs to make sure that the restraining order she has in place does not expire. If it is set to during the time she is pregnant or after the baby is born she needs to keep on top of that.

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Originally Posted by Luv_My_Reece

Hi I'm 17 and I dated this guy for 2 years and now I think I'm pregnant by him. We haven't spoken in 3 months and I have a restraining order against him because he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and I wanted to know what some other people my age thought about it. He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us. Should I tell him or just go it alone??? I do have a new boyfriend who has an 11 month old and supports me and loves me either way. What do you guys think I should do?:confused:

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Umm, if he said he would hurt the baby... don't tell him. Because if he actually beat you, what makes you so sure that your child could be safe with him? Be careful. If you're ready to be a mother and want to be one, then you should raise the child. If you are not ready, then don't.

I think you should tell your ex, cause every guy has a right to know if he has a mini him walkking around. And if he doesn't care then screw him! You have someone new that loves you for you and that's all us girls need! GOod Luck!

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Originally Posted by Luv_My_Reece

Hi I'm 17 and I dated this guy for 2 years and now I think I'm pregnant by him. We haven't spoken in 3 months and I have a restraining order against him because he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and I wanted to know what some other people my age thought about it. He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us. Should I tell him or just go it alone??? I do have a new boyfriend who has an 11 month old and supports me and loves me either way. What do you guys think I should do?:confused:

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If I were you I wouldn't tell him.
And you know what... I would never have an abortion - that's a horrible thing to do... You have to protect your child... And yourself.
I'm sure that if this guy who is with you really loves you he's going to be a great father, he's going to stay always by your side, respect you and help you with your baby. Good luck

I totally agree.

I would let it go for now. If you tell him now he could give you a lot of emotional stress while you are pregnant and that is not good for you or the baby. He is out of your life and you have a good chance at a new future with your new boyfriend.
It would be better to wait until an appropriate time comes up to tell him. Like maybe after he sees the child. You could mention something like-- it might be his but your boyfriend is raising him like his own-. Then he knows but he also realizes you haven't come after him for support or anything. Often mothers, fathers, grandparents, etc... say they do not want anything to do with the baby until after they actually see it.

If I were you I wouldn't tell him he doesn't diserve you or this baby think of both of you you wouldn't want your baby to be hurt by him the safest thing to do is just let it be!! just because the other guy isn't the father that doesn't mean that he's not going to be there with you threw the hole thing and for when the baby is born!! Just be happy and not tell him!!

I´m 14, but if he has threaten you, you should probably tell someone, either, a guidance counselor, maybe your parents, or another trusted adult.

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Originally Posted by Luv_My_Reece

Hi I'm 17 and I dated this guy for 2 years and now I think I'm pregnant by him. We haven't spoken in 3 months and I have a restraining order against him because he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and I wanted to know what some other people my age thought about it. He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us. Should I tell him or just go it alone??? I do have a new boyfriend who has an 11 month old and supports me and loves me either way. What do you guys think I should do?:confused:

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