Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    someguy222's Avatar
    someguy222 Posts: 93, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    May 1, 2007, 03:15 PM
    My best friend
    Hey I'm a 16 year-old guy and lately my best friend and I have been kind of drifting apart. We met through a common friend last April, so it's been a year that we've known each other. The thing is, she lives in Florida and I live in New York, and we've never met each other in real life, however we have talked on the phone a lot, and used to talk online every single day. We were close instantly, and were very open with each other and could talk about anything. Basically I love her. As a friend that is. And during most of the time I've known her, she's been single, except for a week back in October, which didn't work out too well lol. But near the end of January she started dating a guy and ever since then we've been talking less and less. It's gotten to the point now where we talk AT MOST once a week texting each other, and we haven't talked on the phone since I broke up with my girlfriend just after new years, and we haven't talked online in at least a month. It's like her boyfriend has completely taken over her life (as well as her job, but that's a minor issue as far as this goes), as her friends that I've become friends with all say that she never really hangs out with them anymore. She is my favorite person in the entire world and I have cried over the fact that I feel like she's going to be gone out of my life forever, possibly soon. Can anyone please give me any advice at all? Thanks a lot.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    May 1, 2007, 04:12 PM
    Well if she is busy, or with a guy who doesn't let her online much, not much you can do but wait for some answers. Wish I could be more helpful, sorry.
    Northwind_Dagas's Avatar
    Northwind_Dagas Posts: 348, Reputation: 83
    Full Member
     
    #3

    May 1, 2007, 04:18 PM
    If she's really into this guy, then he will become her best friend. And as so, he is probably filling the void that not talking to you would normally create.

    Friends sometimes grow apart, but that's life and there's little you can do to change it. However, once you are in a serious relationship, you too will learn how easy it is for your love interest to be your best friend.
    someguy222's Avatar
    someguy222 Posts: 93, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    May 1, 2007, 04:30 PM
    Yea I get whatcha mean. Like I'm definitely happy for her and everything that she found someone who cares about her a lot, I just wish that she would realize that I care about her just as much as he does. :(
    Northwind_Dagas's Avatar
    Northwind_Dagas Posts: 348, Reputation: 83
    Full Member
     
    #5

    May 1, 2007, 04:57 PM
    You should not post the same question in different topics.
    Original question: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...end-88217.html
    Emland's Avatar
    Emland Posts: 2,468, Reputation: 496
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    May 1, 2007, 05:11 PM
    I have a girlfriend that I only hear from when she is between boyfriends. We were real close as coworkers years ago but only email now. It is difficult to keep a relationship long distance.
    AKaeTrue's Avatar
    AKaeTrue Posts: 1,599, Reputation: 272
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    May 1, 2007, 05:47 PM
    It would be more fulfilling if you met friends in real life.
    Online friends are a dime a dozen - they come and go.
    Real life friends can REALLY be there for you and you can REALLY be there for them.
    I have online friends, so I'm not bashing it.
    I really enjoy my online friends.
    Mingle, have conversation, be supportive, enjoy yourself with online friends -
    Just try not to consume your life around a stranger.
    someguy222's Avatar
    someguy222 Posts: 93, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    May 1, 2007, 06:06 PM
    I put it here since there is a lot more feedback in this section.
    someguy222's Avatar
    someguy222 Posts: 93, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    May 1, 2007, 06:08 PM
    She's not a stranger though. We tell each other EVERYTHING and give each other advice about anything that might come up.
    lilkittenx2's Avatar
    lilkittenx2 Posts: 9, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #10

    May 1, 2007, 06:20 PM
    Well that is cool I'm 14 and live in Florida how cool. But well what I would say is that either she really loves this guy. And she has practically devoted her life to him. I don't think what she is doing to you is really fair. Cause with my last boyfriend cause I'm single now kind of I used to talk to my best friend I met on myspace he lives in Tx and he comes to FL every now and again and I'm going to meet him in a few months. But that out of the subject. But what I think is that she wants to spend as much time with him as possible.
    someguy222's Avatar
    someguy222 Posts: 93, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    May 1, 2007, 06:57 PM
    Yeah we'd been talking about her coming up to rochester on a road trip with another of her friends that I'm good friends with sometime in the summer, and I was planning on going down to fort myers next spring break or something like that.

    But on a different note, how can you devote your whole life to a guy when your only in 10th GRADE.
    AKaeTrue's Avatar
    AKaeTrue Posts: 1,599, Reputation: 272
    Ultra Member
     
    #12

    May 1, 2007, 07:10 PM
    Have you tried talking to her about this?
    someguy222's Avatar
    someguy222 Posts: 93, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #13

    May 1, 2007, 07:28 PM
    Yea a couple times I've told her how much I missed her and that I just wanted to talk to her more and she would start talking to me as much as she used to, but only for a couple days and then she would fade away again. She used to text me every morning right before I woke up and now she only does it twice a week max. I haven't said it in awhile, but I'm sending her a card I made for her telling her how much I love her that I made after I saw a presentation of rachel's challenge , if you've seen it you know how powerful it is. So I hope she likes it :)
    someguy222's Avatar
    someguy222 Posts: 93, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    May 4, 2007, 12:39 PM
    Anyone else? :(
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
    Ultra Member
     
    #15

    May 4, 2007, 01:20 PM
    Yup, I agree with these posters on here. To put it plainly, she is probably weening herself from you. Knowing it may hurt your feelings, but you really need not to be jealous she is able to make her own choices. Just pretend you are in love with a computer that tells you everything you want to hear. If she was in the same area, this relationship might not have gone as far as it did. It is easy to have a no "in your face" relationship. Let her go and say good bye. You are going to annoy her more than anything by sending her cards and things. Don't make her feel guily. Just find someone in your own world to love. You sound so thoughtful and sweet, I don't think it will be too hard. And hey if it is hard, come back and post again with a new subject. Someone is bound to help you out.
    kanicky73's Avatar
    kanicky73 Posts: 484, Reputation: 63
    Full Member
     
    #16

    May 4, 2007, 01:40 PM
    This happens a lot especially in younger people. When you start dating and having boyfriends and girlfriends all you want to do is spend every spare moment with that person. In doing so, you end up alienating your friends. I'm not saying its right, just happens when your young. As you get older you realize how important your friend are and when you meet someone and start dating you find a way to work your friends into the mix and want them to meet this wonderful person that has come into your life. I am quite sure she hasn't forgotten about you. Your just not an option for her to "date" if there was an attraction there. You live too far away. Respect what she is going through, but stay in contact by sending a text or email here and there. Just saying hi, was thinking about you, hope all is well. Call or text when you have some time, etc.
    someguy222's Avatar
    someguy222 Posts: 93, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #17

    May 5, 2007, 01:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by startover22
    Yup, I agree with these posters on here. To put it plainly, she is probably weening herself from you. Knowing it may hurt your feelings, but you really need not to be jealous she is able to make her own choices. Just pretend you are in love with a computer that tells you everything you want to hear. If she was in the same area, this relationship might not have gone as far as it did. It is easy to have a no "in your face" relationship. Let her go and say good bye. You are going to annoy her more than anything by sending her cards and things. Don't make her feel guily. Just find someone in your own world to love. You sound so thoughtful and sweet, I don't think it will be too hard. And hey if it is hard, come back and post again with a new subject. Someone is bound to help you out.
    But why would she not want to be my friend anymore? We've only been mad at each other once really, and that was because she sent me a text saying "i love you so much!" and my ex read it, and she was dumb enough to not realize that me and her were just best friends.






    This happens a lot especially in younger people. When you start dating and having boyfriends and girlfriends all you want to do is spend every spare moment with that person. In doing so, you end up alienating your friends. I'm not saying its right, just happens when your young. As you get older you realize how important your friend are and when you meet someone and start dating you find a way to work your friends into the mix and want them to meet this wonderful person that has come into your life. I am quite sure she hasn't forgotten about you. Your just not an option for her to "date" if there was an attraction there. You live too far away. Respect what she is going through, but stay in contact by sending a text or email here and there. Just saying hi, was thinking about you, hope all is well. Call or text when you have some time, etc.
    I realized about 2 weeks into my first and only relationship how important my friends were, so I didn't hang out with my ex that much and she hated it, so I broke up with her because she would just about it all the time.

    Very good advice though :)
    kanicky73's Avatar
    kanicky73 Posts: 484, Reputation: 63
    Full Member
     
    #18

    May 7, 2007, 07:56 AM
    That's good to hear that you didn't turn your back on your friends! Very important to keep the people who have been there for you in your life!

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

I like my friend who has a girlfriend [ 5 Answers ]

K well I'm 14years old and I love a guy called Mat and he's my friend... he doesn't no that I love him or anything.. it might show but I don't think so... anyway... he has a girlfriend and its been like a month or something that there going out but I want to be the girl that he holds not her... but...

Friend.. [ 2 Answers ]

yo wat up people!!! ha ha yea well i have a girl who is a frined but she is all of a sudden acting weird. When i am around friends she's uh, over does her luagh. The guys think she has a nice firgure but, her personality is wack. i know that but should i tell her?

Friend poached another friend! Advice? [ 11 Answers ]

I had never had this feeling before, but last summer I felt like one of my friends was poaching another, as in they were going to be friends with each other INSTEAD of me, not in addition to me. A series of events happened in a few days (friend #1 supposed to come early to help with my...

Best friend? [ 11 Answers ]

My 'best friend' is acting very strange. She has been for the past year or so. She is not some one easy to talk to but it seems that she has a problem with her friends and their boyfriends. For example my ex, we finished a month ago and I saw her last night trying in on with him. Also when we...


View more questions Search