Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Skin Lightening (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=386)
-   -   What made you start lightening your skin? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=404337)

  • Nov 3, 2009, 10:55 PM
    BrownDeceit

    You guys are totally right. It's so annoying because they make it seem as if there is only one correct standard of beauty when it comes to black women. And that's if your light skinned. And if you're not light skinned then you better have some very European looking features. Like Kenya Moore, Jessica White, Naomi Campbell, Liya Kebede, Joy Bryant, Chili from TLC, Lanisha Cole, Aaliyah (May her soul RIP), Gelila Bekele, etc.

    Kenya Moore

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0b7Omq_9Dz...00/kenya57.jpg

    Liya Kebede

    http://www.egodesign.ca/_files/artic...iya_kebede.jpg

    Chili

    http://blackcelebritykids.files.word...lli-thomas.jpg


    Jessica White

    http://passtheword.files.wordpress.c.../02/jwhite.jpg


    Lanisha Cole

    http://static.hiphopwired.com/wp-con...ishaCole01.jpg


    Gelila

    http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...38e9317bb0.jpg


    RARELY. Very RARELY are dark skinned women with prominent west african features praised. The only one I can think of is Gabrielle Union. Though it works in my favor because I have "exotic" features, I'm not stupid or ignorant to walk around thinking that I am BETTER than someone with west african features, I just realize that society is so backwards that they'll praise me because of it. Just like they'll praise a mixed girl because of her really light skin. There is no distinct formula that equals beauty. You can be dark with west african features and still be beautiful! It's about the symmetry in ones face. Smh. I wish people could see this!
  • Nov 3, 2009, 11:14 PM
    Golden_Girl
    True. My opinion Brown, if you really like this guy then you can continue to check him out but also let him know now that you don't like his narrow way of thinking. And also keep your options open because someone who has much more depth may just come along to you and they may actually be the one.
  • Nov 3, 2009, 11:17 PM
    BrownDeceit

    I actually did talk to him about it. And as he could see I was getting angry and I told him I give up on him. He asked me not to give up on him because that's the reason why I'm in his life. To open up his eyes. I feel like he's willing to see the light (no pun intended), but I think he's also so traumatized from being the darkest one in his family with like 5 light skinned siblings and both of his parents being light skinned.
  • Nov 3, 2009, 11:20 PM
    Golden_Girl
    Well, only time will tell then if his words holds truth or if he is only trying to be a smooth talker.
  • Nov 3, 2009, 11:28 PM
    BrownDeceit

    Soooo true. I'm starting to lose interest in him actually. He said some things the other day that urked me AGAIN. He was talking about how "interesting" puerto rican women look and how "interesting" south american women look. Oh goodness. I just did my best to grit my teeth, nod my head. And stay polite. But inside of me I was fuming. And I felt extremely INSECURE. And when he said "interesting" I know he meant fine. You should see the look on his face. Now nothing wrong with these comments he made. If he thinks these women are beautiful it's whatever, but given his track record, and given the fact he was describing the women of these places that are the non black ones. I did kind of look at him funny. I guess I just really want it to work because he's really good looking and popular. But I feel so nervous all the time. I went to the store to buy more perm to perm my hair and make sure that my curls blended and looked even more natural and like I had natural curly hair. And I've been lightening like crazy. I just feel so much pressure to look mixed. And I think I'm really getting there because 3 people in the last two weeks asked me what I was. Not saying that this equals prettier than someone who looks solid black. But. Let's face it. Why are so many of us trying to lighten? Because we want to look different from what we already are. We want a change.
  • Nov 3, 2009, 11:46 PM
    Golden_Girl
    That's true, I agree. I say do only what makes you happy and feel good. But with that dude giving pressure, I would lose interest too... because if was very interested in you, then he wouldn't talk about other women and so forth to you. I'm the jealous type and would have said how much I liked guys that looked completely different than him so he could get jealous, even if he was my type too... then I would say "let's just be friends".. lol. Better you say it than him to say it to you for whatever reason. He still should not be talking about other girls to you if he is truly interested in you, that is disrespectful.. I say he needs a taste of his own bitter medicine.
  • Nov 3, 2009, 11:54 PM
    BrownDeceit

    That is very disrespectful for him to say that. But that same night he also told me how much he liked me and how beautiful he thinks I am. And I am also the jealous type. EXTREMELY jealous. And I was going to actually say some spiteful things to him about how I think darker men are better looking and how I think his friend is more attractive. BUT he's very sensitive and I knew it would REALLY hurt him. And as ignorant as he is. I just can't hurt someone's feelings like that on purpose. And I think I might have to just walk away from the situation because I'm paranoid that every time I'm with him and girl who is VERY light skinned walks by, that he's going to wish he was with her and not me.
  • Nov 4, 2009, 12:02 AM
    Golden_Girl
    I would have said it to him.. because everyone has feelings. Those type of things he said about other women should be spoken to his guy friends, not you. He knows what he is doing, to me it's like he wants you to rely your beauty to his standards as though you should be fortunate to have him, but he should be feeling fortunate. You have feelings too. No reason to get paranoid, he should be getting that way with u when other dudes walk by
  • Nov 4, 2009, 12:10 AM
    BrownDeceit

    HaHa. I love you Golden Girl. You seriously always make me feel better! You're like the Mother of this board and seriously a positive voice of inspiration!
  • Nov 4, 2009, 12:36 AM
    Itss A New Day
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BrownDeceit View Post
    HaHa. I love you Golden Girl. You seriously always make me feel better! You're like the Mother of this board and seriously a positive voice of inspiration!

    I totally agree with you on that Brown and you really don't need to be someone who you are not at ease with. The pressure to lighten is enough as it is let alone the added pressure to be light enough for someone's liking. Not even worth it IMO
  • Nov 4, 2009, 09:39 AM
    DarkSkinGirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BrownDeceit View Post
    You guys are totally right. It's so annoying because they make it seem as if there is only one correct standard of beauty when it comes to black women. And that's if your light skinned. And if you're not light skinned then you better have some very European looking features. Like Kenya Moore, Jessica White, Naomi Campbell, Liya Kebede, Joy Bryant, Chilli from TLC, Lanisha Cole, Aaliyah (May her soul RIP), Gelila Bekele, etc.

    Kenya Moore

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0b7Omq_9Dz...00/kenya57.jpg

    Liya Kebede

    http://www.egodesign.ca/_files/artic...iya_kebede.jpg

    Chilli

    http://blackcelebritykids.files.word...lli-thomas.jpg


    Jessica White

    http://passtheword.files.wordpress.c.../02/jwhite.jpg


    Lanisha Cole

    http://static.hiphopwired.com/wp-con...ishaCole01.jpg


    Gelila

    http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...38e9317bb0.jpg


    RARELY. Very RARELY are dark skinned women with prominent west african features praised. The only one I can think of is Gabrielle Union. Though it works in my favor because I have "exotic" features, I'm not stupid or ignorant to walk around thinking that I am BETTER than someone with west african features, I just realize that society is so backwards that they'll praise me because of it. Just like they'll praise a mixed girl because of her really light skin. There is no distinct formula that equals beauty. You can be dark with west african features and still be beautiful! It's about the symmetry in ones face. Smh. I wish people could see this!


    I never thought of Chili as having Euro features. Is it her nose? She has West Afro features to me.
    Jessica White had a nosejob, and not a very good one IMO. She had a flat nose before then

    Lanisha Cole, she's pretty, she has features like mine except for the nose. I look like a lot of these women except for my nose and I even thought about getting a nosejob
  • Nov 4, 2009, 09:46 AM
    DarkSkinGirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by EggoMini View Post
    My theory is that the One Drop Rule(In the US, everyone with any known African ancestry was put into the Black group, AFAIU.) is partly to blame.

    If you're throwing in everyone with any degree of African ancestry into one pool, then in a racist & colorstruck society, the so-called "prettiest black women" will almost always be the ones with the more European(or Asian, Native, Arab, etc) physical traits. It's a total scam!

    If people were honest and specific (when possible) about their background i think it would help. In this warped system, there's no reason for someone like me (mostly African) to compare myself to another 'black' woman who's European-heavy in her ancestry. I also don't see a reason for a woman with more African ancestry than I have (or with a more stereotypically W. African phenotype) to compare herself to me.

    IMO, beauty goes beyond race and coloring. Beyonce is a cute girl but not the world-class beauty that she's hyped to be. She obviously requires a lot of work(and that's fine too).

    Halle is naturally gorgeous as is Kenya Moore, IMO.

    It's crazy that the whiter black women often receive a free beauty credit whether they are actually extra-attractive or not. I'd feel weird knowing that people were 'feeling me' just because how much more European or Native American I looked than whoever I'm standing next to..
    Madness!

    It boggles my brain that someone could think Bey was automatically prettier than Kenya simply because of coloring but I'm sure that, for many, it's true.

    You are so right!

    And what makes it so bad is that Alicia, Beyonce, Tyra and even Halle had work (plastic surgery; nosejob) to look the way they do. Some of their features are not even natural, so just how is the average black woman going to compete with that?
  • Nov 4, 2009, 09:49 AM
    DarkSkinGirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Itss A New Day View Post
    Eggo you real hit the nail on the proverbial coffin lol because what you said is exactly how I feel, I mean I could never compare myself to Lauren London because as beautiful as she is, she is half white, and we both share totally different DNA's so some of her features will probably never appear in my bloodline unless I marry out of my race or one of the caucasian traits of a great great great grandparent (to the umpth degree) pops up in one of my offspring. Black women, especially darker skinned women, are really pressured as far as beauty goes, I mean as far as Hollywood goes you have to be an exceptionally beautiful dark skinned woman to make it (like Jill Marie Jones from Girlfriends). It is just an extreme to try to put myself on the same spectrum as other people in different races because each race has attributes that make them distinct from other races, and if you are an Asian girl trying to compare yourself to a black girl, I just don't think that will fly, besides the disparity in skin color. I hope this makes sense to you guys.


    She is such a cutie. Although I HATE her on Girlfriends, but when she plays other rules, I like her so much better.

    Hate to say this, but from lurking on black message boards a lot of black people don't even think she's that pretty. What's even more ironic is that there are women who looked just like her (their profile p ics wuold be up) and they had the nerve to say she was ugly, yet they share similar features to this woman, or they wouldn't even be as pretty as her.
  • Nov 4, 2009, 09:56 AM
    BrownDeceit
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DarkSkinGirl View Post
    She is such a cutie. Although I HATE her on Girlfriends, but when she plays other rules, I like her so much better.

    Hate to say this, but from lurking on black message boards a lot of black people don't even think she's that pretty. What's even more ironic is that there are women who looked just like her (their profile p ics wuold be up) and they had the nerve to say she was ugly, yet they share similar features to this woman, or they wouldn't even be as pretty as her.

    I don't even visit the black section. I can't even tolerate being around their ignorant comments. And yep. It's always the ones that have the most "African looking" features who want to shoot down the next person with features JUST like theirs. It's sad. So sad. Just like when Usher was married to Tameka... You'd think black women would be happy? Nope.
  • Nov 4, 2009, 07:08 PM
    Golden_Girl
    :D thanks Brown.
    I always thought Jill Marie Jones was pretty too, especially with long hair. Though, her personality on Girlfriends was annoying. When Usher was with Tameka I was happy he went against what so many black male celebs were doing and instead chose a brown woman an Tameka is very pretty. I think Usher likes brown girls which makes me have more respect for him for being his self. I think Tameka was talking about how some people were treating her because she was with Usher. I don't why b women need to hate so much, that's an insecurity problem. I even try avoiding those types of girls being around me.
  • Nov 4, 2009, 09:21 PM
    Boricua1
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DarkSkinGirl View Post
    She is such a cutie. Although I HATE her on Girlfriends, but when she plays other rules, I like her so much better.

    Hate to say this, but from lurking on black message boards a lot of black people don't even think she's that pretty. What's even more ironic is that there are women who looked just like her (their profile p ics wuold be up) and they had the nerve to say she was ugly, yet they share similar features to this woman, or they wouldn't even be as pretty as her.

    I agree she was and is definitely pretty... and she was waaay prettier than joan or her other light counterparts... but I hate that they gave her dark skin complexes on the show. Like when she rejected the super fine tall dark skin millionaire guy who loved her ccaus ehe was too black... and when she had her daughter the first question she asked was if she had "good hair"... I stopped watching the show after that...
  • Nov 4, 2009, 09:37 PM
    Boricua1
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DarkSkinGirl View Post
    I never thought of Chilli as having Euro features. Is it her nose? She has West Afro features to me.
    Jessica White had a nosejob, and not a very good one IMO. She had a flat nose before then

    Lanisha Cole, she's pretty, she has features like mine except for the nose. I look like a lot of these women exept for my nose and I even thought about getting a nosejob

    I think chilli's hair was one of her euro features and truly I think all of the women that were fetured in the other comments are beautiful... but again , I hate being held to their beauty as MY standard... especially by men... When my average looking non-black friends are readily hailed as beautiful but I'm told that they just aren't into Black women... I don't know what kind of features I have... nothing to be deemed "exotic" regular hair black girl hair... very curly not wooly, but definitely.. needs to be relaxed for straight looks. Hangs mid length... like past shoulders.. my skin tone I guess is medium dark... like Gabrielle Union.. so nothing to stand out... but the same can be said or even more so for all of my hispanic/Arab family members and friends... all around the same tan comlexion... same natural hair color as the other... nothing "exotic" some dare I say are not at all pretty... (and I'm not hating at all.. ) I'm just calling it like it is... but when I'm with them I am always last pick because I'm over looked because I'm not that fame staus beautiful girl...

    I ain't no drop in the bucket either:D... trust I had my wannabe model days.. where I had some really impressive pics and comments and agents interested but I hate to admit it.. I never was the thin girl... so it was always the XXL and rapvideo type modelling that I was always directed to and I wasn't into being a booty model.. lol...
  • Nov 4, 2009, 09:42 PM
    Golden_Girl
    Yeah I don't blame you Boricua. I had watched the show only a handful of times because I found it to be stereotypical and shown in a negative light many times.
  • Nov 5, 2009, 03:02 AM
    EggoMini

    That's crazy about the "good hair" comment on Girlfriends! I wasn't a regular viewer so I missed that gem. Unreal.:mad: On a pos. note, I thought that JMJ was the prettiest actress on the show too.

    I really think that racism and colorism has scrambled people's circuits about perceived beauty.. . I agree that excessive cosmetic surgery and Photoshop have added yet more layers of distortion. I'm not against those enhancements but they can be overdone and abused, IMO.

    I'm not anti-hair extension or relaxers either but again if a woman can't feel feminine and attractive everyday without these extras then it shows IMO(please don't shoot me.. lol & Of course illness or an awful hair accident is an exception.) maybe a dependency that should be examined.

    Rocking a wig, or even having corrective surgery because it enhances the beauty that one already feels & sees in the mirror is different, imo, than doing the same things because one fears being overlooked, disliked... not seen as attractive, lovable, or marriagable.

    I think that the motivation & intention make the difference and from there, the vibes carry.
  • Nov 5, 2009, 03:22 AM
    EggoMini

    & OMG, the dating thing. It's like interviewing prospective employees. If I'm company X and the jobseeker is sitting in front of me raving about how great or interesting company Y or company P seems?. <shakes head>

    I agree that is not interview (courtship, dating) conversation. That sort of musing is for inside of his little brain, with his friends, or therapist.

    You're not his shrink and that was really his parents job to set him on a balanced course about color and good manners.

    There are so many attractive and mature men on this planet. It took me awhile to realize that myself so I made my share of bloopers and put up with unnecessary madness (not color or hair related but some definite, grade A BeeEss), wasted time and energy. We are here to learn, so I'll be quiet.

    wait.. please don't overlap and overprocess your hair over some guy! Please? Lol!

    now I'll shut up.:p
  • Nov 6, 2009, 08:34 AM
    DarkSkinGirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Boricua1 View Post
    I think chilli's hair was one of her euro features and truly I think all of the women that were fetured in the other comments are beautiful... but again , I hate being held to their beauty as MY standard.... especially by men... When my average looking non-black firends are readily hailed as beautiful but I'm told that they just aren't into Black women.... I don't knw what kind of features I have... nothing to be deemed "exotic" regular hair black girl hair... very curly not wooly, but definitely .. needs to be relaxed for straight looks. hangs mid length... like past shoulders.. my skin tone I guess is medium dark... like Gabrielle Union.. so nothing to stand out... but the same can be said or even more so for all of my hispanic/Arab family members and friends... all around the same tan comlexion... same natural hair color as the other... nothing "exotic" some dare I say are not at all pretty... (and I'm not hatin at all..) I'm just callin it like it is... but when I'm with them I am always last pick because I'm over looked because I'm not that fame staus beautiful girl...

    I ain't no drop in the bucket either:D...trust I had my wannabe model days.. where I had some really impressive pics and comments and agents interested but I hate to admit it.. I never was the thin girl... so it was always the XXL and rapvideo type modelling that I was always directed to and I wasn't into being a booty model.. lol....

    Boricua why do you describe your hair as 'regular black girl hair'? Why do you have to label it in that way? Black hair is the most versatile type hair there is and we can do a lot with it. I never really had any hangups about my hair at all, and was never hung up on "good hair". With all the options we as black women have we still are never happy! They have pressing combs, perms, curling irons, weaves/wigs etc and we still are not content with all that we can do with our hair.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 08:38 AM
    DarkSkinGirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Boricua1 View Post
    I agree she was and is definitely pretty... and she was waaay prettier than joan or her other light counterparts... but I hate that they gave her dark skin complexes on the show. like when she rejected the super fine tall dark skin millionaire guy who loved her ccaus ehe was too black........ and when she had her daughter the first question she asked was if she had "good hair"... I stopped watching the show after that....

    Oh yeah, I remember that episode. When Toni gave birth to her biracial daughter, I really didn't like how the show addressed race at all. I hate Toni's mother saying, "no one is gonna see that the child is half white she is just gonna be a lightskin girl with good hair" And how the other cast member (forgot her name) kept stressing that she needs to identify as black and christian because in this country 'one drop of black blood makes you black' I couldn't believe that this contemporary show was promoting such old and racist beliefs about race in this country.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 08:43 AM
    DarkSkinGirl
    I have a friend that is very chocolate, she's from Africa, and I noticed lately that she is defintely bleaching her skin. Parts of her skin is like a brown color, like the cream is slowly trying to lighten her but in a bad way because she has so much acne. And her skin looks dull and kind of washed out. It's not giving her that glow

    Ive never seen a really really dark person like her get light before. I'm curious as to what that wuold look like. I'm not even sure if it will look right because so far it doesn't look good at all
  • Nov 6, 2009, 08:47 AM
    tai18

    I hate that term "regular black girl hair" it bothers me how every time a black girls hair is long or a different color people just automatically assume it must not be real my sister has long dark brown hair & is about gabriel unions color now when she was a bit darker then kelly rowlands as soon as summer would hit and the sun would make her hair lighter people would come up to her and ask "is your hair real?" "are you wearing weave" they would even try to put there hands through her hair just to make sure it is real. Anyway, I think the black community needs to let go of that stereo type or no one else will.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 08:52 AM
    BrownDeceit
    How dark is she? Because I went from Kelly Rowland's color to a golden caramel... And maybe you should help her? But then again maybe not. She might be jealous of your results and tell the whole world that you're bleaching. So just keep it to yourself. And can you show us a picture of your definition of "very chocolate" maybe then we'll see what she's working with. And she sounds like me when I started with Movate and Hot Movate. Acne EVERYWHERE. Patches EVERYWHERE people kept on asking my mother what was wrong with my skin. Lmao. And yep. The dull washed out look. Ugh. Not good! And yeah I never really understood why so many black girls get upset about their hair. Go get a perm, a weave, slick down some baby hairs and call it a day. Until someone starts to get to touching! Lol. I don't understand why black girls don't keep their weaves realistic to their facial features. You'd be surprised at how you can fool someone if you match your texture perfectly to your facial features. Like I saw this girl with this long straight kinky weave. I SWORE it was hers. It matched her facial features PERFECTLY. But then she said it was a weave. I was like "omg" that's exactly how people are when they find out my curls are not really my curls. Lol.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 08:58 AM
    BrownDeceit
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by tai18 View Post
    i hate that term "regular black girl hair" it bothers me how every time a black girls hair is long or a different color people just automatically assume it must not be real my sister has long dark brown hair & is about gabriel unions color now when she was a bit darker then kelly rowlands as soon as summer would hit and the sun would make her hair lighter ppl would come up to her and ask "is your hair real?" "are you wearing weave" they would even try to put there hands through her hair just to make sure it is real. Anyway, i think the black community needs to let go of that stereo type or no one else will.

    Tai. 90% of the time if a black girls hair is any color other than black. And she's not heavily mixed. It's a weave. And people assume it is. Not saying that people are right for questioning your sister. But it's reality. And if it's long and straight. Like seriously. Who is going to believe that? I buy curly Indian human hair, slick down some baby hairs in front. And keep it only 3 inches past my shoulders. Everyone thinks its mine. My friend who is really really dark and has beautiful symmetrical African features buys rough kinky yaki hair that blends perfectly with her hair when it's permed and she keeps it at her shoulders. Everyone thinks its hers. I'm sorry. But when I see girls walking around with 22 inch weaves with any color besides black, I'm like, "Well you obviously want the world to know it's a weave"
  • Nov 6, 2009, 09:17 AM
    DarkSkinGirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BrownDeceit View Post
    How dark is she? Because I went from Kelly Rowland's color to a golden caramel.... And maybe you should help her? But then again maybe not. She might be jealous of your results and tell the whole world that you're bleaching. So just keep it to yourself. And can you show us a picture of your definition of "very chocolate" maybe then we'll see what she's working with. And she sounds like me when I started off with Movate and Hot Movate. Acne EVERYWHERE. Patches EVERYWHERE people kept on asking my mother what was wrong with my skin. Lmao. And yep. The dull washed out look. Ugh. Not good! And yeah I never really understood why so many black girls get upset about their hair. Go get a perm, a weave, slick down some baby hairs and call it a day. Until someone starts to get to touching! Lol. I don't understand why black girls don't keep their weaves realistic to their facial features. You'd be surprised at how you can fool someone if you match your texture perfectly to your facial features. Like I saw this girl with this long straight kinky weave. I SWORE it was hers. It matched her facial features PERFECTLY. But then she said it was a weave. I was like "omg" that's exactly how people are when they find out my curls are not really my curls. Lol.

    My friend is originally much darker than Kelly Rowland. She is like Akon's color. She has been bleaching for awhile though, other people noted that she looks lighter but I never knew the dfifference because she is so dark. But now I'm starting to see it (two years later) and some areas of her face look like its trying to be brownskin,(the cheeks) and then she has a lot of acne and it looks dull. The color she is now: she's still real dark but its like a washed out lighter chocolate version of what she used to be. When I saw her out one day, she was standing under some lighting and her skin looked horrible; a lot of bumps and discoloration. She's probably using a very bad bleaching cream from the beauty supply or from the african store that is damaging her skin. I feel like saying something because IMO I think its destroying her skin. I don't want to say anything but then sometimes I do. When she gets around me she is always talking about how she has this beautiful chocolate darkskin & all the men want her yet she is bleaching with all this acne lol she is also colorstruck and wants a white man and mixed babies.

    I should say something to her because she is quick to point out anything that is wrong with my skin for instance when the retin a was making me flaking she asked what it was! And had the nerve to be staring. She is also colorstruck and I notice she is always looking at my skin though.. to her I am 'lightskin' even though I am medium dark side like gabrielle union.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 09:26 AM
    DarkSkinGirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BrownDeceit View Post
    Tai. 90% of the time if a black girls hair is any color other than black. And she's not heavily mixed. It's a weave. And people assume it is. Not saying that people are right for questioning your sister. But it's reality. And if it's long and straight. Like seriously. Who is going to believe that? I buy curly Indian human hair, slick down some baby hairs in front. and keep it only 3 inches past my shoulders. Everyone thinks its mine. My friend who is really really dark and has beautiful symmetrical African features buys rough kinky yaki hair that blends perfectly with her hair when it's permed and she keeps it at her shoulders. Everyone thinks its hers. I'm sorry. But when I see girls walking around with 22 inch weaves with any color besides black, I'm like, "Well you obviously want the world to know it's a weave"


    I wear weave that matches my hair texture as well. Sometimes black women will ask why they can't see any tracks. I guess they feel that if you wear a weave they are supposed to see that its fake somewhere in your head. I remember I was wearing a course texture curly weave and this lady asked, "why does it look like its your hair? why can't I see anything?" some black women cannot comprehend the fact that you can have a weave that looks REAL. That when you wear a weave you really are not supposed to see tracks. But so many of us have gotten so damn lazy that this has become the norm

    But when I wore my real hair black people sometimes still quetioned me, it was shoulder length.

    Other black women with a nice length of hair never ask me any questions, it's the ones who have hangups about hair or could never achieve a decent length of hair that hate on you and question the authenticity of your hair.

    I always had nice 4b hair that could blend in very well with weaves, my hair was always long and thick enough to cover up tracks etc so hair was never really a problem for me. But there are a lot of women out there who have problems making their weaves look natural etc and feel threatened by those who have nice enough hair to make it look good. And I have kinky hair, not soft hair but thick kinky hair and I never hated it. I can do what I want with it
  • Nov 6, 2009, 11:03 AM
    BrownDeceit
    I don't want to out any women to prove my point. I don't like throwing women under the bus just to get my point across even if they are celebrities. But I will say this. Only 2 of these 19 women are wearing their real hair.

    If they told me that it was their hair..... I would believe it! Why?

    1) Her skin tone for one, the undertone of her skin, and her lips. Looks like a black girl with native American in her.

    2) Her skin tone and her facial features. Looks like a black girl with relaxed hair.

    3) Her skin tone, all of her facial features. Looks like a mixed woman with curly hair.

    4) Her skin color, her facial features. Hair is not too thick, it doesn't have too much body, very natural. Looks like a black girl with naturally straight hair to be honest.

    5) Her skin tone, her facial features, the hair is not too thick, it's not unrealistically long, looks like a black girl who knows how to take care of her hair and relaxed it.

    6) Her skin tone, the undertone of her skin, the kinky texture of the curls, the poofyness of the curls, the slightly past shoulder length of the curls, her facial features, especially her thin nose.

    7) Her skin tone, her nose, the body of the hair, not too thick, the length of the hair slightly past the shoulders.

    8) Definitely the undertone of her skin! The length of the hair. And the brown hair color looks natural with the golden highlights.

    9) The length of the hair, her skin tone, the body of the hair, not too thick. Reminds me of the random light skinned girl on the block. Lol.

    10) Goes perfect with her chocolate skin tone, matches her facial features, nice length, a nice natural and THICK body to the hair, many african american women have a natural and healthy body to their hair, so even when it's pressed or permed, the kinkyness may be gone, but there is still a healthy body to it. (gotta love that, reminds me of my hair)

    11) Matches her skin tone, short

    12) We all know this isn't Ciara's hair. But if it was a random girl walking down the street. I'd be fooled

    13) This is the hair that I wish more black girls would gravitate to when they purchase their hair weaves. This is SO BELIEVABLE (I won't say if it's real or not), even if this girl was 2 or 3 shades darker and she had more West African features, I would STILL believe it. It's a thick curl and it's a little past shoulder length. I don't know why girls are so obsessed with having it 22 inches with light browns and blonds. It's a DEAD GIVE AWAY.

    14) I know this hair has highlights and it's long and super straight. But it doesn't have a lot of body to it and it really goes with her facial features. Her nose is very thin.

    15) How many of you thought this was Joy Bryant's real hair? I'm only "outting" her because she outted herself on her blog. She ranted about how much she loves her weave. This hair looks so real to me. It matches her texture perfectly. And even though it's a little on the long side, the texture and color of the hair goes so good with her skin color and facial features. I was shocked when I found out she wore weave!

    16) Her skin tone, facial features. Looks like a mixed girl with long hair.

    17) Her skin tone. Some of Zoes features are very west african, but her golden brown skin tone and her lips go with the hair.

    18) Her features, her nose especially, her golden bronze color, and the texture of the hair really go together. Not to mention her undertone.

    19) The hair isn't too thick, it's on the long side. But if she told me it was hers, I wouldn't doubt it.

    http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/s...Believable.png


    All women of all shades of brown can wear hair weaves land make them look believable. It bugs me when some women say "well just because she's black they assume it's a weave"... Because a lot of the times some women see Beyonce or Kelly Rowland with a certain style and they think it can work for them too! NO. NO. NO. NO. It has to match either your skin tone, or facial features, and it can't be too thick or too long. It CAN be thick and it CAN be long. But not TOO thick and TOO long. Sometimes I just wish I could grab girls and show them how much better and believable their weave would be if they matched it to their features or skin tone. Not everyone can rock certain styles. Just like some people look good in some colors, and others don't. End of story. Hope I didn't offend anyone. :)
  • Nov 6, 2009, 11:31 AM
    Vicky_D
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BrownDeceit View Post
    I don't want to out any women to prove my point. I don't like throwing women under the bus just to get my point across even if they are celebrities. But I will say this. Only 2 of these 19 women are wearing their real hair.

    If they told me that it was their hair..... I would believe it! Why?

    1) Her skin tone for one, the undertone of her skin, and her lips. Looks like a black girl with native American in her.

    2) Her skin tone and her facial features. Looks like a black girl with relaxed hair.

    3) Her skin tone, all of her facial features. Looks like a mixed woman with curly hair.

    4) Her skin color, her facial features. Hair is not too thick, it doesn't have too much body, very natural. Looks like a black girl with naturally straight hair to be honest.

    5) Her skin tone, her facial features, the hair is not too thick, it's not unrealistically long, looks like a black girl who knows how to take care of her hair and relaxed it.

    6) Her skin tone, the undertone of her skin, the kinky texture of the curls, the poofyness of the curls, the slightly past shoulder length of the curls, her facial features, especially her thin nose.

    7) Her skin tone, her nose, the body of the hair, not too thick, the length of the hair slightly past the shoulders.

    8) Definitely the undertone of her skin! The length of the hair. And the brown hair color looks natural with the golden highlights.

    9) The length of the hair, her skin tone, the body of the hair, not too thick. Reminds me of the random light skinned girl on the block. Lol.

    10) Goes perfect with her chocolate skin tone, matches her facial features, nice length, a nice natural and THICK body to the hair, many african american women have a natural and healthy body to their hair, so even when it's pressed or permed, the kinkyness may be gone, but there is still a healthy body to it. (gotta love that, reminds me of my hair)

    11) Matches her skin tone, short

    12) We all know this isn't Ciara's hair. But if it was a random girl walking down the street. I'd be fooled

    13) This is the hair that I wish more black girls would gravitate to when they purchase their hair weaves. This is SO BELIEVABLE (I won't say if it's real or not), even if this girl was 2 or 3 shades darker and she had more West African features, I would STILL believe it. It's a thick curl and it's a little past shoulder length. I don't know why girls are so obsessed with having it 22 inches with light browns and blonds. It's a DEAD GIVE AWAY.

    14) I know this hair has highlights and it's long and super straight. But it doesn't have a lot of body to it and it really goes with her facial features. Her nose is very thin.

    15) How many of you thought this was Joy Bryant's real hair? I'm only "outting" her because she outted herself on her blog. She ranted about how much she loves her weave. This hair looks so real to me. It matches her texture perfectly. And even though it's a little on the long side, the texture and color of the hair goes so good with her skin color and facial features. I was shocked when I found out she wore weave!

    16) Her skin tone, facial features. Looks like a mixed girl with long hair.

    17) Her skin tone. Some of Zoes features are very west african, but her golden brown skin tone and her lips go with the hair.

    18) Her features, her nose especially, her golden bronze color, and the texture of the hair really go together. Not to mention her undertone.

    19) The hair isn't too thick, it's on the long side. But if she told me it was hers, I wouldn't doubt it.

    http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/s...Believable.png


    All women of all shades of brown can wear hair weaves land make them look believable. It bugs me when some women say "well just because she's black they assume it's a weave" ....Because a lot of the times some women see Beyonce or Kelly Rowland with a certain style and they think it can work for them too! NO. NO. NO. NO. It has to match either your skin tone, or facial features, and it can't be too thick or too long. It CAN be thick and it CAN be long. But not TOO thick and TOO long. Sometimes I just wish I could grab girls and show them how much better and believable their weave would be if they matched it to their features or skin tone. Not everyone can rock certain styles. Just like some people look good in some colors, and others don't. End of story. Hope I didn't offend anyone. :)

    LOL this is retarded, black girls can have very long hair if they want to. Yes, I mean all the way down to their asses. There are black girls that have very long fairy-tale hair that isn't a weave! My natural hair is down to my elbows so not quite repunzel, but still! The whole list seems kind of silly to me. I understand your point about not wearing a straight blonde weave if you're black and wanting it to be believable, but black women have no shame these days. They will readily admit when it is a weave, they don't care! If it's obvious it's a weave, they don't care. No one cares anymore if someone knows it's a weave, because people already know anyway. They just want it to LOOK GOOD in terms of the style. Not necessarily believable as hair that has grown out of their own heads.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 11:37 AM
    BrownDeceit

    Of course there are some black women with extremely long hair. Not denying that at all. But that's not the everyday. And. What looks good in terms of style is all fine and dandy. A skin tight black dress might look good on beyonce but if you are 400 pounds. The same skin tight black dress is going to look hella stupid on you.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 03:08 PM
    tai18

    If some black women wear weave then they wear weave the point I'm trying to make is that not ALL that have long hair have to be wearing weave.No one even pays attention to white women,latin women or asian & oriental women. Half of my chinese & filipino friends wear weave but no one would even guess that there hair is really shorter then their shoulders and they have fake clip ons in and even fake bang pieces.I see a lot of black girls here in canada with there REAL hair past their shoulders.

    A 400lb woman can wear anything she wants just like a underweight 90lb woman because she's big she doesn't need to hide I'm sure a 90lb woman wouldn't look stupid in a skin tight dress with her bones & ribs popping out.

    "All women of all shades of brown can wear hair weaves land make them look believable." - yeah so can white,latin and asian women, ever heard of Skin Weft?
  • Nov 6, 2009, 03:32 PM
    BrownDeceit

    I'm not even going to say anything to you. Lol
  • Nov 6, 2009, 04:24 PM
    EggoMini
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BrownDeceit View Post
    I don't want to out any women to prove my point. I don't like throwing women under the bus just to get my point across even if they are celebrities. But I will say this. Only 2 of these 19 women are wearing their real hair.

    If they told me that it was their hair..... I would believe it! Why?

    1) Her skin tone for one, the undertone of her skin, and her lips. Looks like a black girl with native American in her.

    2) Her skin tone and her facial features. Looks like a black girl with relaxed hair.

    3) Her skin tone, all of her facial features. Looks like a mixed woman with curly hair.

    4) Her skin color, her facial features. Hair is not too thick, it doesn't have too much body, very natural. Looks like a black girl with naturally straight hair to be honest.

    5) Her skin tone, her facial features, the hair is not too thick, it's not unrealistically long, looks like a black girl who knows how to take care of her hair and relaxed it.

    6) Her skin tone, the undertone of her skin, the kinky texture of the curls, the poofyness of the curls, the slightly past shoulder length of the curls, her facial features, especially her thin nose.

    7) Her skin tone, her nose, the body of the hair, not too thick, the length of the hair slightly past the shoulders.

    8) Definitely the undertone of her skin! The length of the hair. And the brown hair color looks natural with the golden highlights.

    9) The length of the hair, her skin tone, the body of the hair, not too thick. Reminds me of the random light skinned girl on the block. Lol.

    10) Goes perfect with her chocolate skin tone, matches her facial features, nice length, a nice natural and THICK body to the hair, many african american women have a natural and healthy body to their hair, so even when it's pressed or permed, the kinkyness may be gone, but there is still a healthy body to it. (gotta love that, reminds me of my hair)

    11) Matches her skin tone, short

    12) We all know this isn't Ciara's hair. But if it was a random girl walking down the street. I'd be fooled

    13) This is the hair that I wish more black girls would gravitate to when they purchase their hair weaves. This is SO BELIEVABLE (I won't say if it's real or not), even if this girl was 2 or 3 shades darker and she had more West African features, I would STILL believe it. It's a thick curl and it's a little past shoulder length. I don't know why girls are so obsessed with having it 22 inches with light browns and blonds. It's a DEAD GIVE AWAY.

    14) I know this hair has highlights and it's long and super straight. But it doesn't have a lot of body to it and it really goes with her facial features. Her nose is very thin.

    15) How many of you thought this was Joy Bryant's real hair? I'm only "outting" her because she outted herself on her blog. She ranted about how much she loves her weave. This hair looks so real to me. It matches her texture perfectly. And even though it's a little on the long side, the texture and color of the hair goes so good with her skin color and facial features. I was shocked when I found out she wore weave!

    16) Her skin tone, facial features. Looks like a mixed girl with long hair.

    17) Her skin tone. Some of Zoes features are very west african, but her golden brown skin tone and her lips go with the hair.

    18) Her features, her nose especially, her golden bronze color, and the texture of the hair really go together. Not to mention her undertone.

    19) The hair isn't too thick, it's on the long side. But if she told me it was hers, I wouldn't doubt it.

    http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/s...Believable.png


    All women of all shades of brown can wear hair weaves land make them look believable. It bugs me when some women say "well just because she's black they assume it's a weave" ....Because a lot of the times some women see Beyonce or Kelly Rowland with a certain style and they think it can work for them too! NO. NO. NO. NO. It has to match either your skin tone, or facial features, and it can't be too thick or too long. It CAN be thick and it CAN be long. But not TOO thick and TOO long. Sometimes I just wish I could grab girls and show them how much better and believable their weave would be if they matched it to their features or skin tone. Not everyone can rock certain styles. Just like some people look good in some colors, and others don't. End of story. Hope I didn't offend anyone. :)

    I love #6!
  • Nov 6, 2009, 05:10 PM
    BrownDeceit

    I know! Ugh that is gorgeous! I hate her! HaHa
  • Nov 6, 2009, 05:41 PM
    EggoMini

    Really 1,6,13, and 16 are like from the era that I first realized that there was such a thing as weaves for women (I'd seen a thing on TV about male hair replacement weaves & rugs, plugs, grafts etc).
    OMG, that remids me a funny internet advert I saw the other day. <looks around>

    http://i33.tinypic.com/2ym86k7.jpg
    :D

    Anyway, the old-school super full curly-wavy weave look is still my favorite... Diana Ross, Lisa Bonet, Jodi Watley, Taylor Dayne etc.

    I had one around 1989 and it was huge and so heavy when I washed it... It was like a pet that lived on my head.lol!

    When I went natural, I realized that my hair could do big on it's own for a day or two without getting snarly and a mess. Lately I keep it braided or smoothed back & bunned under a fake afro puff, or under a scarf or headwrap.

    ... I figure that my hair has drawn enough of my lifeblood, it's skin time.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 05:57 PM
    Golden_Girl
    My hair is not naturally wavy or straight, it's just real curly like this

    http://www.ayushveda.com/womens-maga...08/07/curl.jpg

    Majority of black women of any hair texture can grow their hair as long and just as fast as asians, caucasions, indians, etc. I usually just press my hair straight and it's not 22" but around 17", close to the girls in #15, #19, or Aaliyah https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/attach...chmentid=26244

    It's about caring for your hair differently than how we are taught. But majority of us can grow the hair very long and at the same speed as anyone else can.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 06:30 PM
    EggoMini
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Golden_Girl View Post
    My hair is not naturally wavy or straight, it's just real curly like this

    http://www.ayushveda.com/womens-maga...08/07/curl.jpg

    Majority of black women of any hair texture can grow their hair as long and just as fast as asians, caucasions, indians, etc.
    I usually just press my hair straight and it's not 22" but around 17", close to the girls in #15, #19, or Aaliyah https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/attach...chmentid=26244

    It's about caring for your hair differently then how we are taught. but majority of us can grow the hair very long and at the same speed as anyone else can.

    So true, there are some cool Youtube ladies that have proven this... some are natural, some relaxed etc. all with awesome heads of hair.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 06:37 PM
    nikkicute
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Golden_Girl View Post
    Wow. Weezing then it was meant for they guy to talk with you in order to show your "friend's" true colors...that girl is mentally sick for broadcasting mess like that and is definitely a hater. She showed how evil she really was and how she really felt about you all along, but she smacked herself in the face with that one.

    Rewind!

    I know what that girl did was wrong but weezing had NO BUSINESS exchanging phone numbers with her friends boyfriend in the first place!
    Did everybody not see that part of the story? That was wrong!
    Makes me wonder what kind of "friend" weezing was to her as well.
  • Nov 6, 2009, 06:42 PM
    EggoMini

    Good point nikki!

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:13 PM.