Ask Me Help Desk - Depressed, Discouraged. Confused.

Quote:

Originally Posted by develynique

Does everyone here actually HEAR what you are saying in your responses. I mean forget about this guy and listen to what YOU are saying. Everyone here seems to have a complex about skin color. Black people are so lost in this light skin dark skin thing. And believe me I understand. We are "taught' that light skin equals beauty and dark skin equals ugly and neither is true. We all still have that slave mentality that "white" is better and if you can't be white the light skin is the next best thing. Now I understand that back in the day black people "wished" they were white or light. Because they wanted to be treated "better". Then it turned into something different...Parents started telling their children that light skin is prettier and better. Black women even intentionally gave into the white slave master or land owner because they believed if they had a child with them their children would be safe from ridicule but that didn't happen. Well I guess I going on tangent here but let's just be happy with ourselves and stop worrying about the stupid stuff.

She didn't say she wasn't happy with herself. She just says that she doesn't possess what he "likes". I don't have a complex about skin color at all, I just think I look better with a lighter complexion. I would never want to be light skinned, I don't think it would look right on me at all. I love my new caramel color. My skin glows and it's the perfect shade for my features. So, you can't speak for most people here. When I look at the shade chart where people posted what shade they would like to be, many of them are only a few shades, I don't think I've seen anyone who was trying to drastically change their color. If that were the issue, some of the darker people maybe Grabrielle Union's color would be wanting to be Beyonce's color or lighter. I haven't seen this at all, although I'm sure there are some. But again she did seem to be happy with the color she is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jasmynn

She didn't say she wasn't happy with herself. She just says that she doesn't posess what he "likes". I don't have a complex about skin color at all, I just think I look better with a lighter complexion. I would never want to be light skinned, I don't think it would look right on me at all. I love my new caramel color. My skin glows and it's the perfect shade for my features. So, you can't speak for most people here. When I look at the shade chart where people posted what shade they would like to be, many of them are only a few shades, I don't think I've seen anyone who was trying to drastically change their color. If that were the issue, some of the darker people maybe Grabrielle Union's color would be wanting to be Beyonce's color or lighter. I haven't seen this at all, although I'm sure there are some. But again she did seem to be happy with the color she is.

Yes, I agree. We all have our ideals of beauty. Some want to be darker and some want to be lighter. Some like to straighten their hair, and some like to curl it. Some like to have brown eyes, and some like green, hazel, blue. Some like to dye their hair blonde, some dye it brown or auburn, and some dye it blue or green. We all alter ourselves the way we like, whether 2 people disagree what the other does or not... we all still do it. So, if someone does not like what I do to change, then I might also not like something that they do to alter themselves. Yet, we all try to control one another in some form of way and define and say what can and can not be done; what should and should not be done. If we all had the same ideals of beauty, then where is the diversity?

No 2 people think a like, nor 2 people alter themselves the same way... yet that is a fact that we all are responsible of... I've grown tiered and restless of people pointing fingers. Because we all want to be respected for what is in the inside, not how we alter ourselves. No need to waste our breath on what someone can or can not do to alter or define themselves. When we should actually focus more on what we should and should not do to better our earth and be good people. Much more in life that is going on like murder, suffering, global warming, situations that are more complex that should be really questioned and discussed... not something simple as one darkeing or lightening their skin, curling their hair, or changing their hair blonde... that is vague. That is how nothing gets done.

Not judge. Not question with speculation. Just focus on a real issue like "why people murder??" and "why people litter??"... I don't see that being asked and analyzed as much these days... :(

Everyone here has given you great advice, so I am not going to wste your time by reading something some one else has said in 100000 words. I am looking at your picture now, and you are BEAUTIFUL, that is all I wanted you to know. Don't be insecure, there are so many women (many that I know personally) who would LOVE to be half the beauty you are, so be happy and love you for who you are.

That's Chillie, the singer from the group TLC